When Angels Fall (Fallen Angels) (26 page)

“If you promise to be good, you can stay. I think there’s some room here.” She giggled, thinking about how nice it would be to sleep with him again.

“I will try my best to be good.” He crossed his heart with his finger. He came up behind her, and wrapped his arms around her.

“This isn’t being good. You’re making me cold. Nick, stop, your hands are cold.” She giggled and tried to squirm free from his grasp while he touched her stomach where her shirt had lifted a little.

“Baby, I need you to warm me up.” He held her tightly as she tried to struggle free from him.

They both fell to the bed laughing, and he leaned up on his side. “Hi.” He touched her face softly.

“Hi. I’m glad you came.” She kissed his fingers.

He kissed her softly, the slow, light lip kisses, which led to more. Their lips parted, tongue’s touching.

The moments like this one were few and far between. Nick laid back and pulled her on top of him. The warmth of her body was starting to warm his.

 
This time, she kissed down his chin, to his neck with soft little kisses. Then as she came up to his ear, her warm breath gave him chills. Softly, she bit his earlobe and then kissed his cheek. He turned his head to meet her lips and bring her to her side. “Tell me when to stop, and I promise I will,” he whispered into her ear, and then he kissed her neck the way he did the other day.

Chills of excitement ran through her body, and again she felt like she could lose herself to wanting more of him. She brought his lips back to hers and felt herself start to float from her body. As he moved his leg between hers, she took his hand. Trembling a little, she glided his hand up her body and felt it stop just below her left breast.

“Do you trust me?” he spoke softly by her ear. He was panting, on the edge of touching her.

“I trust you.” She was breathless as his lips were at her neck. “Show me what to do.”

He pulled away from her and took off his sweatshirt, only leaving his undershirt. When his lips returned to her, he reached up and took her hand, then slowly glided it down his chest. Shyly, she felt the edge of his shirt and let her hand glide up along his hard stomach to his chest.

He returned his hand to her stomach. At the edge of her shirt, he started to caress her side, wanting badly to touch her naked breast. He tempted fate and, slowly, his hand glided up under her shirt until his fingers just barely touched her breast. His lips were at her neck again and her breaths grew deeper. Ever so slightly, his hand cupped her breast and, slowly, his thumb softly glided across her nipple.

She sighed and kissed him deeply, as his thumb retrace its pattern across her now raised nipple. Her body tingled, wanting so much more. She moved her hand down to his hip, pressing him closer to her and feeling for the first time his hardness for her. She felt clumsy and stupid, not knowing what to do next.

He was lifting her shirt; the heat from his lips grazed her neck, slowly kissing downward.

She could feel herself start to panic. It was going too far. When his lips brushed past her nipple, Chloe jumped and pushed him away.
 
“Not yet,” she said breathlessly, still wanting more but afraid of where it would lead.

Nick kissed her lightly and pulled her shirt back down. He looked into her eyes and saw the uncertainty there. When she took his hand, he smiled at her. He’d kept his promise.

“Are you mad?” she asked as they laid in silence.

“At what?” he asked. “Because you wanted to stop?”

“Yeah, I mean I know that it was just starting to get good for you. But—”

“Chloe, if you’re not ready for things to go further, then I’m fine with that. Would I have liked a little more? Yeah, I’m not going to lie, but I can wait until you are ready. I’m not going to pressure you into something you don’t want to do. I’m not Josh.”

“I know you aren’t. I’m nervous and feel so stupid because I have no clue of what to do. I mean, are you sure you really want to stay with me? I’m not strong like Tiffany, or bubbly like Gabbie, or even adventurous like Tabitha. And I’m nowhere anything like Kelly. Let’s face it. You’re really going to have your work cut out for you with me.” She tried to smile, but it was true. The truth was that she really wished she could be more like them, but with how sheltered she was, she was a far cry.

“You’re not stupid. And I do want to stay with you. And Tiffany is way too much of a snob, Tabitha’s adventures would get me kicked out of school, and where Gabbie is bubbly, I can only take so much of her. As for Kelly, I really don’t want someone like her. Kelly was a really big mistake for me. I don’t want you to ever think you have to compare yourself to them,” he explained as he laced their fingers.

“I can’t compare to them. I’m nothing like them. I’m not beautiful like Tiffany or Tabitha, I don’t have a body like Gabbie’s, and I don’t know what Kelly looked like, but you said she was hot. I’m none of those things. The only thing I have going is that I’m smart.” She was trying to figure out what it was he saw in her.

Nick shook his head. “No one has ever told you that you’re beautiful?”

“You said I am pretty, and Josh told me I am hot. I don’t see that,” she answered and tried to think if anyone else ever said it.

Nick got out of bed and pulled her up. He made her stand in front of her mirror. “What do you see?” he asked her.

“You.” She smiled

“Besides me.” He laughed.

“I see someone who is plain, and lost, who is clueless when it comes to relationships—someone who’s afraid you’re wasting your time, because it may be already too late to try and change me. Someone who is really weak and will try everything to get out of going in that room today. A scared someone, because you may want to walk away once you realize this.” She was being honest. She was terrified he’d come to mean something to her and she didn’t want to lose him because she was such a mental case.

Nick put his arms around her waist and looked at her in the mirror. “Do you want to know what I see?” he asked quietly.

She nodded, laying her arms on his.

“I see someone who is more beautiful than Tiffany or Tabitha, who has an unbelievable body, nicer than Gabbie’s, and is sweeter and more caring than Kelly could ever be. The only way I want to change you, is so that you can see that you are strong and beautiful, and to be honest, I don’t care that you are clueless when it comes to relationships. You’ll learn to do what is natural. Chloe, I don’t like you because of those things. I like you because when I’m with you, nothing else matters. We will get through today, even if I have to bring you in and take you out of that room a million times.” He kissed her cheek.

“Can we go back to sleep first? It’s still pretty early and the idea of falling asleep in your arms sounds really good right now,” she suggested, seeing the tired look in his eyes, too.

“Yes! Sleep, then we
have
to get to work.” He laughed and pulled her back with him on the bed.

*
   
*
   
*
   
*

The ringing of his phone woke him up. He didn’t remember where he was for a minute until he saw Chloe sleeping next to him. “Yeah,” Nick answered, trying to focus on who it was.

“What time did you leave the house this morning?” his mother angrily raged and he knew he was in for it.

“I don’t know, about five?” He tried to focus on what time it was then.

“Nicholas, why on earth would you do that? You couldn’t wait a few more hours for all of us to go? Why does it sound like your asleep?”

“Because we were talking and watching TV, and we both fell asleep. I don’t know. Are you on your way now?” He had to get her off the line. If she had any clue as to where he was at that moment, he would be dead where he sat.

“No, we won’t be there until this afternoon. Does your father need to have a talk with you about morals?”

“No, Dad doesn’t need to have a talk with me. I’ll see you when you get here.” He closed the phone and threw it down.

“Who was that?” Chloe yawned.

“My mom,” he said rubbing his eyes. “They’ll be here later.”

“It’s almost ten. We should get started. Let me get changed and I will be right there.”

*
   
*
   
*
   
*

 
A little while later, Chloe stood at the door, not sure if she could open it. She dreaded it, but if she kept putting it off, it would never get done.
 
Slowly, she raised her hand and reached towards the knob, then moved it away quickly, as if it were hot.

 
Nick put his arms around her. “You can do this. I won’t leave your side,” he said, encouraging her.

She took a deep breath and slowly turned the knob.

The room was dark except for what little light could come through the closed shade. You could see the dust dancing around in the sunlight, disturbed by the breeze the opening of the door made.

Hesitating, she turned on the light and, for the first time in years, saw the room the way it’d been just before her mother died. There were a few boxes scattered around the room, and the bed was still covered by the quilted blanket her mother always used. It felt cold and still, like the ghost of her mother was there, waiting, and knowing the changes that were about to come.

Chloe stood still, unable to go through the threshold. She wanted to remember the way the room had been, always warm and inviting. She wanted to take a mental picture of the room, but the last memory was keeping that from happening. Her mother had never slept in the master bedroom; that was his room. This was hers.

Simple with decorations just, like she ‘d been. The walls were soft lavender, accented with pictures of Chloe as a child. On her bureau was her jewelry box, which Shelly had already gone through. The only things left were a silver comb and brush set, which had been tarnished. Above the bed hung an old, white, porcelain cross, grown dingy with the dust that covered it. The only thing on the bed was a wilted rose, dried and withering away.
Was that how her mother looked now after all this time?

“Where do you want to start?” Nick’s voice broke the spell of the harsh realization of her mother’s demise.

He would probably never realize how much she needed that. “I guess the closet. That would be the easiest. We can pack the clothes into the boxes and mark them for donation,” Chloe suggested and went to the door. She opened the closet and, within seconds of seeing her mother’s clothes, it hit her at once. Slowly, she ran her hand along the garments that hung there and thoughts of her mother flooded her mind.

She came to a sweater that her mother always wore. She took it off the hanger and smelled it. There was a faint smell of lavender; her mother’s sent. It always calmed her and she wore it often towards the end. “I can still smell her,” she said softly as she hugged the garment to her.

Nick touched her shoulder and watched as she clung to the sweater.

“I think I want to keep this. I know it was one of her favorites. The rest can go,” Chloe said and started packing the clothes.

“Where do you want me to start?” he asked her softly. He wanted to give her time to pack up the boxes but wanted to stay close.

“Start taking down the pictures. Just don’t put them on the bed,” she instructed him. Nothing was to go on the bed.

When the closet was emptied, Chloe found a box in the back. She sat on the floor and opened it. Inside were numerous envelopes, four of which bore her name and were entitled,
My Dearest Chloe’, Your Graduation, Your Wedding
, and the last one read,
The birth of Your First Child
. There were also letters from her father to her mother, pictures and things from when Chloe was a baby. There were letters to people she didn’t know, and a picture of Chloe and a man at the playground who she didn’t remember. She took out the envelope with her name on it and started to read: