West For Love (A Mail Order Romance Novel) (9 page)

“May I show you something?” Anna
asked.

“As in?”

“I have something in my suitcase
for you... well, actually it’s now in a drawer.”

“Sure,” Thomas said.

Jo walked into the kitchen, holding
Thomas Jr. and Thomas quickly took the baby, coddling him and rocking him. Anna
had to appreciate watching this big strong father holding his son in such a
way, but it was the only choice Thomas had at that moment. Thomas Jr. was
technically motherless... something Anna hoped to fix.

“I’m going to go into town with
Anna today,” Thomas said to Josephine. “Would you like to join us?”

“Yes,” Jo said. “I could stand some
social time. And I do have a small list of items I need.”

“I’ll pay the costs,” Thomas said.

“No you won’t,” Jo said. “I’m more
than capable.”

Anna finished washing up after
lunch and turned towards Thomas. She let her eyes do the talking, begging him
to go into the bedroom so she could show him something.

“Come,” Thomas said.

They walked the same path they did
the night before. Only today it was light in the house. And Thomas carried
Thomas Jr.. Everything seemed so opposite of the night before. Anna secretly
hoped what she had for Thomas would finally make him understand everything. But
even if he didn’t, she’d continue to take care of everything. Her heart told
her so. Thomas was worth it.

In the room, Thomas waited as Anna
moved some of her clothing aside in a drawer. She touched the envelope and
hoped she was doing right by everyone. It had actually been Mary’s suggestion
and the second Anna heard Mary say it, it made sense to do.

Anna turned and handed Thomas the
envelope.

“What’s this?” Thomas asked.

“This is the letter Jo sent,” Anna
said. “I’m sure you didn’t get a chance to read it.”

Thomas looked flabbergasted. “I was
actually more mad Josephine sent the letter without letting me read it than
actually sending the letter.”

“Now you have your chance.”

“And you brought this all this
way...”

“Of course,” Anna said. “I knew it
had to mean something to you.”

“It’s more than just something...
will you take Thomas Jr., please?”

Anna took the baby and held him
out, staring at his perfect face. She smiled and wiggled her eyebrows. Thomas
Jr. didn’t smile. He just stared. That didn’t matter though, Anna was starting
to love the infant as much as she felt herself loving Thomas. She hugged Thomas
Jr. and rocked him as Thomas read the letter. Anna tried to read his face but
Thomas only seemed to have one face to offer... that of stone.

When he finished and looked up, he
nodded.

“It doesn’t make me any happier
that she took the first step in all this,” Thomas said as he stood and stepped
towards Anna. “But it did bring you here... so how mad could I be?”

Anna stared back at Thomas and felt
her emotions running wild. She told herself if it wasn’t for Thomas Jr. being
in her arms, she would have jumped at Thomas, wanting to feel his embrace.

“Anna, he’s fallen asleep,” Thomas
whispered.

Anna looked and saw that Thomas Jr.
had indeed fallen asleep. Right on Anna’s shoulder. Anna smiled and felt her
heart growing again. Just yesterday the infant cried when Anna held him. Now he
had fallen asleep in her arms.

What could make the day more
perfect?

Thomas took Anna’s hand and placed
the letter back into it.

“Keep it,” Anna said.

“No,” Thomas said. “I don’t need
it. But I do have something to say to you, my Anna.”

“I’m listening.”

Thomas began to rub his thumb
against Anna’s palm. Thanks to the roughness of his thumb and the thick callus
on the tip of his thumb, it tickled. However, what felt as a ticklish feeling
only lasted a few seconds before it turned into something else. Something flowed
through her body that made her feel things she wasn’t sure were right, or pure,
considering she wasn’t married and she was holding a baby. There was certainly
a connection present between she and Thomas.

“My Anna,” Thomas said, “you’ve
done so much already. You’ve written to me. Written back to me. You’ve traveled
to me. You’ve saved money I sent you. And I see the way you want to care for
Thomas Jr. and how much you’re willing to work at everything. Last night I woke
and touched your shoulder, my Anna, while you slept. The first time a person
was in bed with me since... my wife died. The emotion overcame me and I had to
leave the room. I feared waking you as I wept because I feared you would think
I didn’t love you. But that’s not the case, my Anna. I wept because I knew the
next step had come to me. So, my Anna, I want to go to town today not just for
supplies, but to make you my bride. I want you to ride back with me as Mrs.
Thomas Calhor. So we can be husband and wife.” 

Thomas then looked to Thomas Jr.
and smiled.

“And we can be father and mother.”

“Oh, Thomas,” Anna said. “That
sounds wonderful. If anything moves too fast... or you’re...”

Thomas set his eyes to Anna’s again
with a look she would carry for the rest of her living days and beyond. The
color, the way they enamored her, controlled her, gave her the feeling that
something greater than she, Thomas, and even Thomas Jr. was suddenly became
present in the room. That God was there with them, helping them, guiding them.

“Anna, the only thing that ever
seems to be moving too fast is time,” Thomas said. “And that we cannot control.
Which is why...”

Anna waited to hear the rest of
Thomas’s words, picturing them on paper, feeling her heart swaying towards him
with each passing second of time. Thomas leaned forward and down, shocking Anna
as he pressed his lips to hers. If Anna had breath she would have let out a cry,
but Thomas had stolen it away. Their lips remained together and Anna allowed
herself to slip away to a place of romance that she knew never existed. She
closed her eyes and felt Thomas kiss her again. As he began to part his lips,
Anna hesitated, kissed Thomas, and pulled her head back, ending the kiss.

Thomas lingered for a few seconds,
smiling, then nodding.

They had a silent conversation then
and Anna had the feeling that if Thomas Jr. hadn’t been in the bedroom something
would have happened. Something out of wedlock and something that would have
carried guilt.

Thomas touched Anna’s face. “Let’s
go get married, my Anna.”

“Yes.”

Thomas left the bedroom, Anna
looked at the sleeping baby and wanted to weep. For the sorrow. For the hope.
For the love. For everything leading to the moment that just occurred. Thomas’s
kiss had other implications. Thomas’s kiss had the feeling of moving to the
bed. To become together through a deeper connection, one that would be allowed
and wanted in marriage. It left Anna feeling conflicted as she exited the
bedroom.

Part of her wanted it. She
genuinely wanted Thomas. To feel his unclothed body, to appreciate it, to share
something with him. But the other part of her knew the purpose of coming
together like that was to create life.

That was something Anna wasn’t sure
she could do.

Outside, once everyone boarded the
carriage, Thomas set off to town, Anna by his side and Jo with Thomas Jr. in
the back.

“May I ask how you ended up here?”
Anna asked.

“You may ask all you want,” Thomas
said.

“My brother and I set off here
together. We wanted to go more west, because dare I say it, he had visions of
California to find gold and become rich. I personally wanted land. The land
will always give to us, Anna, but gold... I heard many more bad stories than good
ones. But he insisted. My journey ended here. His continued.”

“Did he do well?” Anna asked.

“Sadly, no. He died in an accident
his first month there. I received a letter from a man he had taken a friendship
to. A quick note that my brother had been working hard and an accident killed
him. That he was properly buried with basic directions on how to find my
brother’s grave if I ever cared to.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Anna
said.

“He died pursuing life. Can’t fault
that.” Thomas paused for a second and continued. “So I settled here and made it
my own. Tended the fields, gave the ground the attention it needed to give
right back to me. From the first crop it has been nothing short of a miracle.
Sure, we’ve faced cold winters and rainy summers, but it’s nothing that ever
makes the land stop giving.”

“A blessed piece of God’s world,”
Jo added from the back of the carriage.

“The whole world is blessed,”
Thomas said. “From the corners we’ve found to the  corners we haven’t yet.”

The rest of the ride was mostly
silent. This time Anna took the chance to enjoy the scenery of Kansas, silently
comparing it to that of Massachusetts. The ride from the train depot to
Thomas’s home had been too nerve racking to focus on anything but the thoughts
that had run through Anna’s head. Now, there was a sense of relaxation, even
though she was on her way to get married.

To get married!

When Anna started to really think
about it, that’s when the nerves hit her. She looked at her clothing, her dark
color dress and she wondered if they should have  waited for a better day. To
plan. To properly dress.

“Thomas,” Anna said. “Are we...
dressed for this?”

“It’s all set,” Thomas said. “Days
before you came I made arrangements. I explained to the minister, an old friend
for obvious reasons, of my intentions. He’s there, waiting. Trust me. He’ll be
pleased to see us arriving together.”

And that’s exactly how it happened.
For a moment, Anna worried that she was going to be judged. A woman divorced
now marrying a widower. Or she’d be compared to Thomas’s first wife and how she
looked different, talked different, acted different. But none of that happened.
In front of the minster, in front of Jo holding Thomas Jr., and most important,
in the eyes of God, Thomas and Anna were married. It all seemed to happen so
fast, right down to Thomas kissing Anna for a brief second. He slipped his hand
into Anna’s and squeezed, turning to face the world with Anna as his wife.

Anna turned too, as Mrs. Calhor.

Her first step as wife was a wobbly
one. Her second step was easier and by the time she reached Jo, she was tall
and proud.

Wife
to Thomas Calhor.

Jo hugged both Anna and Thomas,
then gave Thomas his son.

Thomas held the baby out and smiled
at him. Thomas Jr. had a big smile and made noises as he stared at his father.
Thomas then embraced the infant and turned to Anna.

“Our family now,” Thomas said.

“I’m happy,” Anna said.

“Me too,” Thomas said. “I want to
feel more, my Anna, to do more, but...”

Anna saw a small glimmer of pain
come through Thomas’s eyes. She didn’t want the day to wear any kind of scar of
the past, no matter the memories. Anna simply nodded and took Thomas’s hand.
They walked, the three as a family, for the first time, to the carriage.

After gathering all the supplies
they needed, the trip back home ensued. It seemed to go extremely fast, perhaps
faster than Anna cared for at the moment, because she only thought about that
night.

With Thomas.

What would happen, if anything.

She wanted to love her husband, more
than any woman could love a husband. And that included all aspects, even in the
bedroom.

The thoughts left her feeling
excited and worried at the same time for the rest of the day into the evening.

Chapter Ten

Anna washed the last dish from
dinner and went to find Thomas (
her
husband!
) and Thomas Jr. (
her
son!
). Along with Jo, Thomas Jr. enjoyed his last meal for the
evening. Anna had grown accustomed to the sight of Thomas Jr. suckling against
Jo’s gracious bosom. She watched as Thomas stood with his back to a wall, his
arms crossed, his eyes distant. Anna could only imagine the thoughts going
through his mind as he had to endure the knowledge and sight of a wet nurse
caring for his son in a way he couldn’t. And even worse, in a way that Thomas
Jr.’s birth mother should have been able to do.

But even still, Anna told herself
she would be thankful that Thomas had someone like Jo willing to go beyond the
job of wet nurse when needed.

Once Thomas Jr. finished, Thomas
took the infant and turned, cradling his son as Jo properly dressed herself.

“Can we?” Anna asked Thomas.
“Together? Put him down?”

Thomas looked at Anna. His lip was
slightly curled. “Not tonight. I’ll join you in the bedroom in a little while.”

Thomas was short and rushed from
the room. Anna gasped, but Jo quickly reached for her.

“Don’t worry,” Jo said. “It’s just
part of this...”

“It’s okay,” Anna said. “It was
just such a good day. He seemed so happy and so alive. I feel as though it’s
been stolen from him.”

Jo stood from the bed and put a
hand to Anna’s shoulder. “Sweet Anna, just think about what he had to watch.
I’ve told him so many times not to be here when I feed Thomas Jr. but it’s
something that he forces himself to endure. I know it shouldn’t be my breast
the baby nourishes from. It should be his mother’s. Up until today, that was
impossible because his mother was gone. But now, Thomas Jr. does have a
mother.”

“But that’s still impossible,” Anna
whispered. “Right?”

“I’ve never conceived a child in my
life,” Jo said.

“So how did...” Anna’s eyes looked
down to Jo’s ample chest and back to Jo’s eyes.

“It just did,” Jo said. “I thank
God for it. He blessed me with a big heart and a big chest!”

Anna giggled and blushed.

“But he also blessed me with the
milk I can provide to those who need it,” Jo continued. “Some families are
wealthy enough that they just pay a wet nurse to nurture their child. Even
families with mother and father in good health, and mother with capability.
Other families have suffered. Some mothers can’t nourish their babies and in
the worst of them of all...”