Weeks in Naviras (18 page)

‘Thanks, Lottie.’ I suspected this to be a Trojan horse, to get me to open up about how I really felt about my evolving life. ‘I’m looking forward to getting back to work, though. Even though it’s going to be tough, and Bobby will have to have a nanny.’

‘Oh, just pack up everything and come and live in Naviras,’ Lottie had gone back to mixing colours. ‘I hear you can work from more or less anywhere these days, what with all this wireless they’re putting in everywhere.’

‘That’s true for a lot of people, but not MPs,’ I said, eventually. ‘You have to be there for constituency work. And voting.’

‘Just as well, darling. Things are much better when they’re done face-to-face, don’t you think?’

I nodded. The first night we’d arrived in Naviras the painting in Room Seven had been ever so slightly squint. Behind it a note;
I hope things are better for you.
But you know where I am, if they’re not. xx

I didn’t leave any response, not until the last day of our trip.

Things hadn’t got any better, until I saw you again, xx

I would’ve written more, but James had been yelling from the foot of the staircase, warning me we’d be late for our plane.

In September I went back to work, and my reservations about Bobby proved unfounded. Our first nanny in Eppingham was actually Portuguese, so we got along very well. Her name was Paula and she was originally from Porto. She’d heard of Naviras but hadn’t been there so we had plenty to talk about. I’d have short conversations with her in the mornings and evenings. What really snookered us during that year was the general election. With a fairly slender majority James had a fight on his hands, but he was also ensconced in London for much of the time, working up strategy and messaging for the party. The fundraising dinners became almost nightly affairs, James’s job being to entertain the middle-tier of donors and give speeches.

I’d assumed that once Parliament was dissolved James would be in Eppingham more often, but actually his time away from the house increased dramatically, pounding the doorsteps of the constituency but also spending many nights attending meetings at party HQ. The prize, he told me, was a place in Cabinet, assuming the party secured a majority.

Around this time I began to think the forbidden thought; wouldn’t it be a lot easier on us if the Tories remained in opposition? What I feared more than anything was the party being the largest in Parliament but in a minority government, this was no longer uncommon and always led to things becoming quickly febrile and constantly stressful. As such I was fairly relieved when the Tories defied expectations and Ollie Drake romped home with a majority of fifteen.

James became prisons minister, not the most harrowing of jobs but more demanding than the whips’ office. The new Parliament was quite different from the previous one, most obviously because there were a lot more female MPs than before. This should’ve been a good thing, except personally I found many of them obnoxious. It wasn’t long before I realised they didn’t particularly like me. Perhaps they somehow felt I’d taken a short-cut; had just spread my legs to get into the Westminster bubble instead of fighting for a seat like they had. Maybe I reminded them that progress was conditional, could easily be reversed. In a strange way I always felt like a hostage during that time, that I’d surrendered my liberty so they could exercise theirs. I was aware this made no sense at all, but if anything the feeling grew as time passed.

The following summer Gail came out to Naviras with us, only her second visit and presumably her last. She was making serious money by that point, the doyenne of the Inner Temple and too busy for husbands. She was one of the first people to ever stay in the hotel, not because she saw herself as too good for Casa Amanhã but because she’d only been sure she could come out a week before the holiday, by which time Lottie was fully-booked.

I was surprised at how much Gail kept to herself during that trip, quietly reading on the terrace at the beach bar. She was interested in politics but still glazed over when James brayed about his new job. She remained resolutely single and while she took a casual interest in Bobby, I knew the attention he required began to grate on her. I’d been surprised that she’d made the trip at all, but her reasons became clear four days later when Lottie summoned us both and took us for a walk down to the beach bar, ordering a bottle of white wine before taking us out to a table on the sun deck, where we watched James walking down the beach with Bobby in his arms.

‘Now I want to discuss something very serious, and I’m glad you’re both here to help out,’ said Lottie. ‘You’re both sworn to secrecy, okay?’ We nodded as Lottie poured the wine. ‘Whatever you say, Ellie, I know you’re not happy with James and that one day you’re going to want to leave him. I know you’ve poured all your money into your marriage and you’re feeling stuck. That’s why I asked Gail to come out this week, because we’ve been discussing you for quite some time, now.’

I was shocked. I turned to Gail, who stared back at me defiantly. ‘Someone’s got to have your back, Ellie. I know you won’t like the idea of us plotting like this but Lottie and I worry about you, a lot.’

Lottie nodded. ‘I’ve decided to take some steps to make sure you’ll always be secure, whatever happens.’ She nodded to Gail, who reached into her handbag and pulled out some papers, placing them on the table. Lottie picked them up, her hand trembling slightly. ‘Since I don’t have any real family, I’ve had to start thinking about what happens after I’m gone. My plan initially was to bequeath Casa Amanhã to you in my will,’ she said, looking down at the papers and then up at me. ‘But it’d be taxed to the hilt by the Portuguese, and I’ve since been told by lovely Gail it’d cause all sorts of other problems, legally.’

‘Portuguese probate law,’ Gail chipped in. ‘There’d be wrangling because you’re neither a relative nor a Portuguese national.’

‘This is ridiculous, Lottie!’ Instinctively I picked up my glass and took a large gulp. My hand was also shaking as I set it back down on the table. ‘You can’t possibly do this.’

‘I can, darling. In fact I’ve already done it, with Gail’s help.’ Lottie handed the papers to me but I refused to take them. ‘Truly, there’s no-one else I’d want to bequeath the place to and this way, I’ll know you’ll always have an escape route from him.’ She gave a dismissive little wave towards James. ‘Now. Gail’s kindly had this all drawn up for us, and as of today I no longer own Casa Amanhã. You do, so long as you sign this thing. I just hope you won’t mind me staying there, darling?’ She beamed at me. ‘As long as you don’t charge me any rent.’

‘Technically, the house will go into a trust,’ said Gail. ‘A business, run out of Lisbon. That’s to stop James from ever claiming half of it from you, if you got divorced.’ She sounded hopeful. ‘He’ll never find out you’re the owner, so long as you don’t tell him.’

‘Something I sincerely don’t recommend doing,’ added Lottie.

I couldn’t quite take it all in. ‘What about Luis, or Carolina? They need this much more than I do.’

‘Ah, now. Luis already has somewhere to live in Naviras and I’m afraid I’m just not convinced having Casa Amanhã’s in his best interests. Frankly, I think it’s about time he works out what he wants to do with his life, rather than living in the shadow of someone else’s. Don’t you think?’

‘He won’t like this,’ I said, before realising I was saying too much.

‘Please sign it, Ellie,’ said Gail. ‘It’s what Lottie wants, she’s been calling me about this for months. It’ll secure your future, whatever happens.’

‘I’m only doing this now because I can see the way things are going,’ said Lottie, severely. ‘I don’t want you thinking that there’s no way out. If you stay with him, that’s your decision, of course. But one day I won’t be around, and I don’t want Casa Amanhã in the hands of anyone who wouldn’t look after it properly. In the meantime, you can always come and live here, of course, whenever you want to.’

This persuasion continued for another half an hour; brow-beaten and worn down by the two of them, I signed the papers.

‘The way I’ve engineered things, it’s almost impossible to tell who owns it,’ said Gail. ‘Portuguese law is ridiculous in many ways, but there are some little exploits,’ she smirked. ‘You won’t have to do anything, it’ll all run itself.’

Lottie sipped her wine, seeming very pleased. We never discussed the transaction again.

Unreliable mobile phones would once again have a part to play that holiday. Throughout the village there’d only ever been a patchy signal and needless to say Lottie refused to countenance any form of internet in Casa Amanhã. The only place where mobile conversations were dependable was at La Roda, which like so much in Naviras had been taken over by an English couple who’d installed wifi on the terrace, ditched the Portuguese music and had even thought about changing its name before Lottie protested. As James’s career became more demanding he spent more time there, turning the veranda into a makeshift office.

‘I’ll be down there for about half an hour, I need to chat to Rav,’ he announced late one afternoon when the sunlight was turning vanilla.

‘Sure, how about I have a bath then we can meet you down there?’

‘Perfect.’

With Bobby napping next-door I lay still in the bath, thinking back on the conversation with Lottie and Gail, wondering if I’d ever feel the need to leave James but also whether or not I could cope living in such a small village, miles from anything. I didn’t mind my life, it wasn’t perfect and there was no denying my faith in James had been severely damaged, but I was forced to admit that I quite liked being the wife of an MP, it was different, varied and often pleasantly challenging. What else could I do, become a boring lawyer and single mother? It didn’t exactly appeal.

Eventually I got out and wrapped one of Lottie’s large fluffy towels around me. I’d been staring at the fisherman painting idly as I’d been lying in the water. It didn’t seem off-balance, which I’d taken as Luis’s code that he’d not put a message behind it. Sure enough when I took the painting off its hook I was disappointed to find the alcove empty. I hung the painting back up and pulled the bathroom door open. I jumped when I saw Luis standing at the top of the stairs outside the open door to the bedroom. He screwed up the piece of paper in his hand. We both stood there, staring at each other. His hand clenched, mine clutching the towel.

‘Oh sorry, Ellie, I thought you had gone down to La Roda with James.’ Even under his tan I could see his face turning red.

Eventually I said, ‘Well, at least it means you can give me that message personally.’ I looked down at his hand and then back at his face. Then I let go of my towel and it dropped to the floor.

He looked down at me and back up, then took two steps forward and we were together, slowly at first, kissing but otherwise not touching at all. He didn’t try to draw me in, he waited for me. Then we were on the bed. I was surprised at how soft his face was, had always expected his stubble to be rough. We never closed the door, we couldn’t stop to. Maybe because we started out with me naked and him clothed, maybe it was just Luis’s way. It could be both of these things and others, but it was the most exhilarating thing. Not the sensations themselves but the intent behind them, the care and silent determination which went into them. The sense of transgression and revenge in what we were doing, the correction of an imbalance.

We had just seconds to lie there. I recovered my rationale and grabbed my towel. He put his clothes on quickly and quietly. ‘We have to talk about this again,’ he said, and left without a kiss or anything. I went next-door and quickly submerged myself in the bathwater.

Bobby had slept through it all. I woke him and picked him up, taking him down to La Roda with me. The village looked so nice that evening as I walked down the street, beyond its usual loveliness. There must’ve been a lot of moisture in the air because the sky was a pink haze with only the tiniest flake of high cloud. James was sitting outside La Roda, talking on his phone. He nodded at me as he continued to talk. ‘Well yeah, he knows where all the bodies are buried. I wouldn’t bring it up, wait to see if he gives it to you first. Yup.’

His accent had been slowly changing. Becoming more clipped, less strangulated on the vowels. He’d slowed down his words, too. Everything was more of a proclamation, a mini-speech. He’d also taken to calling all men in the political bubble by their surnames. I’d once heard him on the phone referring to Rav as ‘Malik’, when he’d thought I wasn’t listening. This didn’t apply to any of the women though, and certainly never Rosie, who never required the clarification of her surname at all. There was only one of her.

‘That was a long bath,’ James said casually once he’d hung up, not putting the phone down but immediately thumbing out a message.

‘I almost fell asleep in it,’ I said. ‘Then I was waiting for Bobby to wake up.’

‘He’s slept enough?’

‘About an hour, that should tide him over.’

We had dinner in La Roda, mainly so James could keep an eye on his phone. When we returned to Casa Amanhã the restaurant was in full swing but Luis had gone home to help Carolina with an essay. He and I barely spoke for the next two days, he seemed to find reasons not to be up at the house. On the few occasions we did see each other he acted perfectly normal, as though nothing had changed. We even shared a game of pool together one night in La Roda. We’d not wanted to exactly, but everyone else had played each other. He beat me easily, but as the short game went on I thought about how deadpan he could be. Nobody would ever have known. In days before he’d been flirting ever so slightly with Gail, but with me he kept his distance. To take a shot he’d go around the whole table to avoid passing me. Despite what he’d said, we had no further discussions that trip; the only conversation was one-way, when I left a note behind the painting on the morning we packed up and headed for Lisbon.