Wayside School Is Falling Down (5 page)

“You’re late, Myron,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Go write your name under DISCIPLINE, then return to your seat for the arithmetic test.”

But Myron didn’t feel like taking an arithmetic test. And he definitely didn’t want to write his name on the board.

So he sat on the floor.

And there was nothing Mrs. Jewls could do about it.

He was free.

After school Mrs. Jewls found Myron’s other sneaker in the teachers’ lounge, in the refrigerator.

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Chapter 8

The Best Part

Todd brought a toy to school. It was a cute, adorable puppy dog. Everyone who saw it said, “Aw.”

“Aw,” said Jenny. “He has such a sweet face.”

“Aw,” said Stephen. “Look at her darling eyes.”

“Aw,” said Deedee. “Isn’t he the cutest puppy you’ve ever seen?”

“Aw,” said Calvin. “Isn’t she adorable?”

Joy sat at the desk behind Todd. Big deal, she thought. It’s just a hunk of plastic that happens to look like a dog.

But even though Joy didn’t like Todd’s toy, she decided to steal it.

“Wait,” said Todd. “Let me show you the best part.”

Before he could show them the best part, Mrs. Jewls rang her cowbell. “Take your seats!” she commanded. “The bell has rung!”

All the children returned to their desks.

“Todd, go write your name on the blackboard.”

Todd was the only one who had been in his seat, yet he was the one who got in trouble. That was typical.

Mrs. Jewls had a system. The first time someone got in trouble, he had to write his name on the blackboard under the word DISCIPLINE. The second time he got in trouble, he had to put a check next to his name. And if he got in trouble a third time, he had to circle his name and then go home early, at twelve o’clock, on the kindergarten bus.

Todd went home on the kindergarten bus every day. Some of the other kids thought he was lucky, but he wished just once he could make it to twelve o’clock without getting into trouble three times.

He walked to the front of the room and wrote his name on the blackboard under the word DISCIPLINE.

While Todd was at the board, Joy reached over her desk and into Todd’s. She felt around for the toy. But as she tried to lift it out, it caught on something and dropped to the floor.

Todd returned to his seat.

“Todd, is that your toy on the floor?” asked Mrs. Jewels.

“Hey, how’d that get there?” asked Todd.

“You know the rules, Todd,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Toys must be kept inside your desk, or else I take them. Now bring it here.”

Todd gave his toy to Mrs. Jewls.

“Awwww, how precious,” cooed Mrs. Jewls. “He’s the most lovable puppy I’ve ever seen.” She kissed Todd’s plastic puppy on its plastic nose. “I guess I can let you off this time,” she said. “But try to keep him in your desk.” She kissed Todd’s toy again, then handed it back to him. “You can erase your name from the board, too.”

Todd could hardly believe it. For the first time ever, he erased his name from the board.

As he headed back to his seat, Mrs. Jewls said, “Here, take a Tootsie Roll Pop too, for the sweeeeeet puppy.”

Todd was amazed.

So was Joy. Now, more than ever, she wanted that toy!

Out at recess everyone wanted to see Todd’s toy.

“It’s magic,” said Bebe. “It kept you from getting into trouble.”

“No, Mrs. Jewls is just a nice teacher,” said Todd. “Here, let me show you the best part.”

He grabbed hold of the dog’s tail and turned it like a crank. Suddenly the cute floppy ears stood straight up. The mouth opened wide, and the teeth grew into sharp fangs.

“Wow,” breathed Deedee.

Todd wasn’t finished. He pulled the dog’s nose and stretched out its face. The cheeks became thin and bony. The eyes were no longer sweet, but grim and frightening.

“What a great toy!” said Calvin.

The cute little puppy had turned into a mean, hungry, man-eating wolf.

“I still haven’t shown you the best part,” said Todd.

But before he could show them the best part, the bell rang, and everyone ran up the stairs to class.

I’ve got to get that puppy dog, thought Joy as she stared at the back of Todd’s neck. Then I’ll never get in trouble again! She didn’t know Todd’s toy had changed into a man-eating wolf.

Her lunch box was on her lap. She quietly opened it and took out a carton of cranberry juice and a tiny straw.

She stuck the straw into the carton and sucked up some juice into it.

She waited for Mrs. Jewls to turn around, then blew the juice out of the straw. It splattered against Todd’s neck.

He slapped the back of his neck with his hand.

Joy laughed to herself. She sucked up some more juice, took careful aim, and fired.

Todd turned around, but Joy already had the straw out of her mouth and was looking down at her book.

Todd rubbed his neck and faced front.

Joy sucked up more juice and blew it onto Todd’s neck.

“Hey!” he shouted, turning around.

“Leave me alone, Todd—I’m trying to work,” said Joy.

“Todd, what’s the matter with you?” asked Mrs. Jewls. “I try to be nice, but you just take advantage. Now go write your name on the blackboard.”

Todd walked to the front of the room. He still thought Mrs. Jewls was the nicest teacher in the world. He looked up at the clock. It was almost eleven. I might just make it today, he thought. I just might make it. He started to write his name when he heard a loud scream.

He turned around and saw Joy jumping up and down and waving her hand in the air. His toy was biting her pinky, and she couldn’t shake it off.

“Help!” screamed Joy as she hopped around the room. “Todd, how do I get it off? Todd? Please?”

Todd smiled. “There,” he said. “That’s the best part.”

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Chapter 9

Mush

WARNING: Do not read this story right after eating. In fact, don’t read it right before eating, either. In fact, just to be safe, don’t read this story if you’re ever planning to eat again.

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Miss Mush wiped her hands on her apron. She smiled at the children who were lined up at the cafeteria. It warmed her heart to see how much they liked her food.

Maurecia was first in line.

“And what would you like today, Maurecia?” Miss Mush asked. She knew the name of every child in Wayside School.

Maurecia looked at the sign.

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“Just milk,” said Maurecia. “I brought my lunch.” Miss Mush smiled and gave Maurecia a carton of milk.

Joy was next in line.

“And what would you like, Joy?” asked Miss Mush.

“Milk,” said Joy.

Miss Mush smiled and gave Joy a carton of milk. “And what would you like, Jason?”

“Milk, please,” said Jason.

“Just milk,” said Dameon.

“Milk,” said D.J.

“Milk,” said Leslie.

It was almost Ron’s turn. He hadn’t brought a lunch. He normally brought a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to school, but there hadn’t been a single slice of bread in his house this morning.

“I know!” his mother had said. “I’ll give you some money and you can buy a nice hot lunch from Miss Mush!” She thought it was a brilliant idea.

“Can’t I just have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without the bread?” Ron had asked.

Now he looked up at the sign.

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He wished he weren’t so hungry.

This was the eighteenth day in a row that the special was Mushroom Surprise. It was called Mushroom Surprise because it would have been a surprise if anybody had ever ordered it. No one ever did—except Louis, of course. That’s why they’d had it for eighteen days. There was always plenty left over.

“Milk,” said Terrence.

“Milk,” said Sharie.

“Milk,” said Calvin.

“Milk, please,” said Bebe.

“And what would you like today, Ron?” asked Miss Mush.

Ron took a breath. “Mushroom Surprise,” he squeaked.

Tears of joy filled Miss Mush’s eyes. She blew her nose on her apron, then said, “One Mushroom Surprise, coming right up!”

Tears came to Ron’s eyes too, but for a different reason. He looked at the Mushroom Surprise. It was sort of green.

So was Ron.

Miss Mush proudly dumped a hot lump of Mushroom Surprise on a paper plate and handed it to Ron. He put it on his tray, then pushed it over to the cash register, where he paid for it.

The news quickly spread around the cafeteria, then up and down the stairs and out to the playground.

“Ron ordered the Mushroom Surprise!”

“Ron ordered the Mushroom Surprise!”

Mrs. Jewls was sitting in the teachers’ lounge on the twelfth floor when Bebe burst into the room.

All the teachers were shocked to see her.

“Bebe, you’re not allowed in here,” said Mrs. Jewls. “This is a secret place.”

“Ron ordered the Mushroom Surprise!” Bebe shouted; then she ran back up to the cafeteria.

As Ron sat down at a table, eighty-seven kids crowded around him to watch him eat.

“I wonder what the surprise is,” said Deedee. She had the best view. She was pushed right up alongside Ron’s chair.

“Maybe it tastes good,” said Leslie. “Maybe that’s the surprise.”