Wanderer's Escape (10 page)

Jess opened his mouth to protest but Matt held his hand up, carried on speaking.

“Their crimes are pretty horrific.  If you take them anywhere they've operated their scams then they'll be killed.  Maybe after going through the courts but more likely spaced out the airlock by a mob – especially anywhere they've taken kids from.

If we took them somewhere with an Imperial court then they'd be executed, almost certainly without a trial.  You saw what the Imperial ships were doing to them before we arrived on the scene.

Some places you can take them they'd be freed in hours, if not sooner.  Pirate bases, independent stations.  I'm sure you don't want that.  You don't want them out there going back to their old ways, or even teaching others their tricks.

So that leaves you trying to find a station where their actions mean they'll be locked up, hopefully for the rest of their lives.  If you turn them over and they only have to serve a few years then every action they take once they are out is your responsibility.  If you turn them over and they unexpectedly get the death penalty then you'll feel guilty because you chose to let them live yet directly led them to their deaths.

It's a tough universe kid.  Dirty.  Vicious.  What the Empire doesn't screw up directly the rest of us screw up in fear of, or anger at, the Empire.  You're going to have to make the decision, and sometime soon.  We can't keep them on this ship forever.  The quickest, kindest solution may be to just space them.  Sedate them first if you like, so they don't know a thing about it.”

Jess turned away, staring at the image of the prisoners on the wall.  They still slept.  He imagined himself handing them over to be executed, flushing them out of the airlock himself, seeing a mob beating them to death before the authorities could intervene.  Far worse though was the thought of them going back to their old ways.  Getting free and ripping families apart, selling children into slavery.

With a heavy heart he turned towards the door.  As he reached it Matt called out, more softly this time.

“
I'm sorry kid.  It's not fair to dump this on your shoulders but the ship has done just that.  You're in charge, you have the power to decide what happens to them.  You can come to Sal or I for advice, the girl too most probably, but in the end it's your decision.”

The mention of Ali's name reminded Jess why he had visited.  It no longer seemed nearly so important, not after pondering whether or not to kill several people, but he was still totally confused by her behaviour.  Uncertain whether he couldn't wait to speak with her again or would rather she disappeared for a thousand years.

“Matt... there was something else.  Not the ship or the prisoners.  Something I wanted to ask you for some advice on... it's about Ali...”

For the first time since the operation Jess saw Matt smile.  Felt himself flushing.

“Sal said you'd taken quite a shine to the girl,” Matt said.

“
She's... well... I think she... that is...”

“
Oh, you've got it bad all right,” Matt chuckled.  Then he turned sober.  “You were born a prisoner weren't you?  I can tell.  There's something different about most who are.  They seem more resigned to their fate.  Conditioned I guess.  Anyway, did you ever get involved with any girls?  Get close to any?”

“
No.  There weren't any. Not anywhere near my age.  Not for the last few years.”

“
Oh boy.  Then you're in for a rough ride I'd say.  Learning everything from scratch.  It might be for the best though.  Relationships back in prison were... not twisted but... I don't know.  Distorted.  People had so little time they grabbed the comfort they could when they could.  Never knowing if the person would still be in their group the next week.  Not knowing if they'd even be alive.  Relationships were about comfort.  Physical and emotional.  Hanging onto someone else.  Meaning something special to someone else even if just for a short while.  Yet all the time tinged with the knowledge it couldn't last.  That sometime soon you'd be split apart and never see each other again.

I'm hardly the best person to advise you.  I've been married once, which was a disaster from start to finish, and I've got a trail of broken relationships behind me that you wouldn't believe.  I can give you some advice though.

First off, you're both pretty messed up by what happened to you – being drugged into falling for each other.  Both of you are going to be terrified of that happening again.  Suspicious of any feelings for another person in case it's been forced on you.”

“
Yeah.  We've managed to prove that.”  Jess told him about his encounter with Ali.  The long kiss followed by the slap and then another kiss.  Matt nodded, face mostly serious though with the hint of a smile on his face.

“
Right.  I'm not surprised.  First thing to realise is that you two aren't special here.  She seems to have feelings for you, and you clearly have for her.  But if either of you was falling for someone else after the experience of being drugged there would be just the same worries.  It's natural – it happened once so you expect it to happen again.  In some ways it will probably be easier going through it together as you're both worrying about the same thing, both know something of how the other feels.

Second thing is that she's a girl.  No end of books and films will tell you that means she knows all about feelings, about love, and that you as a poor boy will always be confused and off balance.  Load of tripe!  If there's one thing I've learnt it's that women, and girls too I guess, get just as messed up by those feelings as we do.

Next thing... don't be someone you're not.  Don't try to impress her.  Relax and be yourself.  If any girl only likes you when you're pretending to be something different then she's not worth your time.  You won't listen to that one I'm sure, but maybe it'll sink in and come back to you one day.

Lastly... even if things work out between you it won't last.  Probably.  Both of you will do and say things that hurt the other, probably things you can't believe you said but you won't back down from.  Both of you will take offence at things.  You'll argue over stupid stuff.  And end up breaking up.  Don't beat yourself up about it.  Relationships are no different to anything else.  Learning the skills to make them successful takes time, takes making mistakes.  If you're smart, if you learn from them, then one day you'll meet someone and it will work out.  I've seen a few that did.
”

“
So we're doomed?  Ali and I shouldn't even start anything?”

“
Oh god no!  Did I give that impression.  Grab it with both hands kid.  Enjoy it, the downs as much as the ups.  It could be wonderful.  For both of you.  Just understand that getting it right for the long term in a relationship is bloody hard and normally takes a lot of false starts.  Oh... and... you're plugged into the ship, yeah?”

“
Yep.”

“
Does it have any details on contraception?  Because I ain't your father and I really could do without giving you that talk.”

The ship helpfully pushed some images into Jess's head.  Images that made him blush furiously.

“I'll take that as a yes!” laughed Matt.  “Seriously kid, enjoy it.  You're only in love for the first time once.”

“
Love... I didn't say... umm... I like her but...”

“
Trust me kid.  It's love.  Don't try to fight the hormones.”  He gave a huge yawn.  “I'm sleepy.  You're not dosing me up again are you kid?”

“
No.  Not me. Hang on...” Jess checked with the ship.  “No, you're just tired.  The ship says it will be another day or two before you're able to get up.  You're body has taken a real battering.”

“
All right.  And... I don't think I've said it before but... thanks Jess.  To you and the ship.  For getting me free in the first place and for curing me.  I'd have been happy to die free again, but I'm much happier to live free.  I owe you.”

“
You're welcome.  And thanks for the advice.”

Matt settled back onto the bed which was lowering him to lay flat.

“Any time kid.  If you actually took in one word in ten I reckon I did well.  Remember... relax and enjoy the ride.”

He smiled at Jess then closed his eyes, falling asleep almost immediately.  Jess turned and left the room, thinking over the advice from the old man.  He returned to the pilot's seat.  While he didn't need to be there to control the ship he still found it comforting.  Checking the ship's status he found that the hull had finished its growth and the changes to shields, weapons and engines were well under way.

Then he sat back thinking through everything Matt had told him.  About their prisoners and about Ali.

Chapter Nine

Nearly a day had passed.  Sal had woken and Jess had shown her the new quarters, which she loved.  Ali appeared soon after, almost ignoring Jess.  He retreated to the flight deck while Sal gave Ali a tour of the new rooms then introduced her to Matt.  Sal later told Jess that Ali had charmed the old man rotten, which caused Jess a surprising spike of envy.

Some time later they had all gathered in Matt's recovery room to discuss what to do next.  All four agreed that they should head for the station the two young children had been kidnapped from, a station known as Glory Falls.  The question of what to do with the prisoners was much harder to agree on. 

Matt still wanted to space them immediately.  He argued that it was cleaner, fairer.  They were guilty by their own admission of hundreds upon hundreds of crimes.  Waiting only delayed the inevitable.

Sal argued for dropping them off at Glory Falls when they delivered the two children.  Matt argued that was no different than spacing them.  That they would be killed within hours of arrival.  Jess was torn.  He couldn't space them
– it wasn't in him.  He didn't like the idea of delivering them to near certain death.  Yet he had no better idea.  He certainly didn't want them to ever escape.

Jess was back in the pilot's seat, trying to figure out what to do and, if he was honest with himself, avoiding being near Ali.  No matter how many times he thought it through he couldn't reach a decision.  The only option he couldn't rule out was to put off the decision, keep the prisoners on board.  Which wasn't a decision at all.

The door opened behind him.  Turning he saw Ali.  Stared at her for a moment while a range of emotions ran through him, and he was pretty sure over his face.  He grunted a greeting then turned away from her.

The silence stretched out uncomfortably.  Finally she spoke.

“
Jess I... that is... damn, this isn't going to be easy.  I need to ask you something you won't like, but please think about the question.  Can you do that for me?  Please?”

His first reaction was to say no.  To push her away.  Shutting her out would hurt but he was starting to feel it might hurt less than the constant flips in her attitude to him.  He opened his mouth to speak and found he couldn't.  He felt panic in the pit of his stomach at the thought.  He couldn't shut her out.  Taking a deep breath he turned to her and spoke.

“All right.  I'll try.  What is it?”

“
I just wanted to know... at what point did you decide you were more important than Matt and Sal?”

The question threw him completely, wasn't at all what he'd expected.  He struggled for words.

“What... but... no... I don't.  I've never thought that!”

“
You do though,” she said softly, staring earnestly into his eyes.  “Even if you don't realise.  You've decided you have the final say over the prisoners.  That you get to decide what happens to them.  That means you think you're more important.”

“
But... I can't let them be spaced.  I couldn't live with myself.  I couldn't take the guilt.”

“
That's the problem! 
You
can't let them. 
You
couldn't live with yourself. 
You
couldn't take the guilt.  You.  You.  You.  Always you!”

She stopped herself with a visible effort.  Took a deep breath.  Continued in a quieter but still firm voice.

“Things can go one of two ways.  You can all discuss things, make decisions together.  Include me if you want but that doesn't matter.  Or you continue to make all the decisions which means everyone else is just along for the ride.  That they are just passengers.  And before long they'll be looking for a way off this ship.  I will too.”

The last sentence was almost too quiet for him to hear but it hit home the hardest.  He hadn't been thinking far ahead but he realised he didn't want Ali to leave.  For that matter the thought of Matt or Sal leaving was terrifying too.  He thought about what Ali had said and how he'd been acting, realised she was right.

“I think... I think you're right,” he managed to say past the lump in his throat.  “But I don't know how to tell them.  What to say.”

He felt tears forming in his eyes, blinked them away angrily.  Ali smiled at him and his stomach did a flip.

“It's all right.  I'll talk to them.”  She turned, walked to the door then glanced over her shoulder at him.  “Maybe there is hope for you after all.”