Vulnerable: (McIntyre Security Bodyguard Series - Book 1) (40 page)

Beth was numb as she followed Miguel on shaking legs. She just hoped she could make it out of the building before she collapsed. Right now, more than anything, she just wanted to curl up in a ball and give in to the agonizing pain in her chest.

They passed the desk of Shane’s executive assistant – Mrs. Hughes – whose bright, friendly smile faltered when she saw Beth’s stricken expression.

“Have a good day, Miss Jamison,” Mrs. Hughes said in a subdued voice.

The woman’s gaze bounced back and forth between Beth and Miguel, and Miguel give the woman a quick shake of his head.

The hallway leading to the elevators seemed interminably long, and Beth was quickly running out of steam. She was operating on sheer adrenalin now, in complete flight mode, and she didn’t know how much longer she could keep it together. Her chest felt like it was being squeezed in a vise, and her throat was so tight it hurt to swallow.

When they passed a women’s restroom, Beth made a sudden detour and pushed her way through the door. Inside, the four stalls were empty. She was alone in the room.

She leaned shakily against the nearest wall, afraid she wouldn’t be able to stay upright much longer. Her heart thundered painfully, and the vise around her chest tightened to the point she could barely breathe.

As the realization of what she’d done hit her –
oh, God, she’d left him
– the pain overwhelmed her, and she slid down the wall to the cold tile floor. It came rushing at her, wave after wave of excruciating pain. Now that she was away from prying eyes, the tears flowed unchecked. There was no stopping the wracking sobs that took her over.

A draft of cool air against her overheated skin was the only indication she had that someone had come into the bathroom. And then he was there on the floor with her. Wordlessly, Shane gathered her up into his arms and settled her onto his lap. She pressed her wet face into the front of his shirt and sobbed.

Shane rocked her in his arms, his lips in her hair. “I’m sorry, Beth. I’m so sorry, baby.”

* * *

Beth was silent on the drive back to Hyde Park. She sat in the front seat of Miguel’s car, staring blindly out the passenger window at the passing scenery.

She’d left him. She’d left the man who’d held her on the bathroom floor as her heart broke into a million pieces. He hadn’t seemed to care that she ruined his shirt, soaking him through to the skin with her tears. He’d just held her, his lips in her hair, murmuring unintelligible words. When she’d finally cried herself out and climbed awkwardly to her feet, she noticed that his eyes were wet, too. She wouldn’t let herself even think about that – about what he might be feeling. She couldn’t.

Without a word to Shane, she’d wiped her face and nose on a tissue, then walked out of the restroom to find Miguel and Mrs. Hughes waiting apprehensively in the hallway.

“Let’s go, please,” she’d said to Miguel, continuing down the hall toward the bank of elevators, trusting that he would follow.

She kept walking, even though she felt sick inside. She’d just walked out on the only person she’d ever loved, the only person she’d ever trusted enough to let inside.

“Beth?”

She glanced at Miguel, blinking as if coming out of a daze. He looked as awful as she felt. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I’ve known Shane a long time,” Miguel said. “He’s – ”

“Please don’t,” she said. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“He’s a good guy. Maybe he screwed up, but that doesn’t mean – ”

“Miguel.” She gave him a quelling look.

“Just think about it, okay?” Miguel said. “Don’t make any hasty decisions.”

“It’s too late for that,” she said, as the elevator doors opened.

* * *

Miguel stopped at Beth’s house so she could pick up her purse. Then he drove her to the library, pulling up right to the main entrance to let her out.

She opened the car door. “Thank you for the ride.”

Miguel shrugged off her gratitude. “No need to thank me.”

Her anger flared anew. “Right. You’re just doing your job.”

Miguel frowned. “I would’ve done it anyway, Beth,” he said.

Beth instantly regretted taking her hurt out on him. He’d been nothing but kind to her, and he didn’t deserve her animosity. She should direct her ire at the people who deserved it, namely her brother and Shane.

Miguel grabbed a spare napkin tucked into the car console and jotted down a number. “Call me if you need anything, Beth. I mean it.”

Her brows wrinkled in surprise. “You’re not still going to watch me, are you?”

He nodded. “Yes. Until Shane tells me otherwise.”

“And I suppose he’s just doing what he was paid to do, right?” That hurt, knowing that Shane had been paid to be with her. Oh, God, that hurt.

“You’re not just a job to him, Beth,” Miguel said. “Trust me. I’ve worked for Shane for six years, and I’ve never seen him like this. This is personal for him.”

Beth’s eyes teared up again, and she got out of the car and didn’t look back. As she approached the main entrance to the library, she surreptitiously wiped the tears from her face and pasted a thin smile on her face.

Devany greeted her from behind the front reception desk with her usual wide smile. Beth waved at her friend, but couldn’t muster the energy to do much more.

“Beth, hey!” Devany said, motioning Beth to come closer. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Beth said. “I’m fine.”

Devany shook her head. “You’re not fine. You look awful. What happened?”

Beth’s throat tightened painfully. “I broke up with Shane this morning.”

“What!” Quite a few heads turned their way at the outburst, so Devany lowered her voice. “Why?” she hissed.

Beth shrugged. The situation was far too complicated and far too personal to explain, so she gave her friend the short version. “He lied to me.”

Devany frowned. “Was it a big lie or a little one?”

“Does it matter?”

“I guess it depends on the lie,” Devany said. “But you were so happy! I can’t believe you broke up with him. Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”
No, I’m not.
I probably just made the biggest mistake of my life
. “I’ll see you later, okay, Devany? I’m already late.”

“Sure,” Devany said, frowning. “See you later.”

As Beth took the stairs up to the second floor, every step seemed more and more difficult, as if she were trudging through quicksand, sinking deeper with each step. She keyed in her access code and let herself into the secured room, relieved to find it empty. She headed straight for her desk and dropped into her chair, grateful for the opportunity to be alone for a few moments.

For a badly needed distraction, she turned on her computer and watched the monitor flicker to life. When her cell phone chimed with an incoming message, she dug her phone out of her purse and checked the screen. It was a message from Shane.

Did you get to work okay?

Surely he could have asked Miguel for that information; he didn’t need to hear it from her. It was just a ruse to contact her. Part of her was elated that he was reaching out to her, even after what she’d done. The other part of her knew it was futile. Prolonging the contact between them would only make it harder on them both.

Beth silenced her phone and put it back in her purse, and then she stowed her purse in the bottom drawer of her desk. Needing to put some space between herself and that text message, she rose from her chair and paced in the small office, looking for something to do to keep her mind off Shane’s message. It had just dawned on her that she’d missed breakfast that morning. Eating was the last thing she felt like doing, but she knew her stomach would never make it until lunchtime.

Grateful for the fresh pot of coffee on the credenza, she poured herself a cup, adding plenty of sugar and cream. She wasn’t a big coffee drinker, but at least this gave her something to do. She sat down at her desk and had just taken her first sip when the door to the Special Collections room opened and Mary came in carrying a small plate with two bagels and packets of flavored cream cheese.

“I come bearing carbs!” Mary said, smiling triumphantly.

Mary laid the plate on Beth’s desk. “Someone left a huge bag of bagels in the employee lounge this morning. Here, have one.”

Beth took a plain bagel and a packet of cinnamon-flavored cream cheese. “Thanks.”

“What’s wrong?” Mary said.

“Nothing.”

Mary sat on the edge of Beth’s desk. “I hope you never plan to go into the spy business, because you’d suck at it. Your face is an open book. Now, tell me what’s wrong.”

Beth sighed. “I broke up with Shane this morning.”

“Why?” Mary said.

Beth tore off a piece of the bagel and stuck it in her mouth. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Did he cheat on you?”

“No!” Beth said, indignant that Mary would accuse Shane of cheating.

“Then what? What could be so egregious that you’d dump a mega hunk like him? That man is sex on a stick.”

Beth suppressed a grin at Mary’s words. Then she sobered. “He lied to me.”

Mary frowned. “Lied about what?”

Beth sipped her coffee as fresh tears started. “Please, I can’t talk about it right now.”

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry,” Mary said, reaching out to tuck Beth’s hair behind her ear.

Chapter 36

He was officially a stalker now.

Shane had sent Beth four text messages in the past hour and called her cell twice, and she hadn’t responded once. Miguel had assured him she was in the library; he said he’d dropped her off at the main entrance and watched her walk in, and he hadn’t seen her leave – at least not by the front entrance. But still, Shane needed confirmation that she was there and that she was okay. He couldn’t stop thinking about how she’d looked when she left. Gutted. She’d been absolutely gutted. And it was his God damned fault.

He wanted to go see her for himself – just to be sure she was okay – but he didn’t think she’d appreciate that just yet. She was probably still reeling from what she’d learned this morning. She needed time to process it, and then time to start thinking more clearly. Yes, he’d fucked up, but surely this was something they could get past. What they had together was far too amazing to lose because of one well-intentioned screw-up.

Short of going down to the campus himself, though, or sending Miguel inside to find her, he figured his most expedient option was to contact Mary Reynolds. He dialed her cell phone, hoping like hell she’d answer. Otherwise, he’d have no choice but to head there himself.

Mary answered on the fourth ring. “Mary Reynolds.”

He could tell from the wary tone of her voice that she already knew. Good, that would simplify things. He spoke in a calm, measured voice. “Mary, this is Shane McIntyre. Please, don’t let Beth know it’s me on the phone.”

“How can I help you?” she said.

“Is Beth there with you?”

“Yes.”

“Is she all right?”

“I’m not too sure about that,” Mary said, her voice clipped.

Shane sighed. Of course she wasn’t all right. “Did she mention that we had a falling out this morning?”

“Yes, something along those lines.”

“I take it she’s right there,” Shane said. “You can’t speak freely?”

“That’s right.”

“The reason I called you was to make sure she was there, and that she’s all right. She was upset this morning when we parted, and she won’t answer my texts or phone calls. I just wanted to be sure she’s all right.”

“I guess you could say that,” Mary said.

“Thank you,” Shane said. “Please call me if there’s a problem.”

“I’ll do that. Thanks for calling.” And then she ended the call.

Shane was debating whether or not to send Beth another text message when someone rapped sharply on his office door.

“Come in,” he said.

“Hey, brother.” Jake walked into Shane’s office, shutting the door behind him. He made himself comfortable in one of the chairs in front of Shane’s desk. “So, what’s new?”

“Cut the crap, Jake,” Shane said, amazed at how quickly bad news travelled. “Miguel called you?”

“No. Miguel called Liam, and Liam called me. Something about the Jamison girl found out about the protection order and about Kline. Is it true you’ve been screwing her? Do you have any idea what Tyler will do to you when he finds out?”

“I can only guess,” Shane said. “But Tyler is the least of my concerns right now. I’m worried about Beth. She won’t talk to me. She thinks I lied to her.”

Jake leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “You did lie to her, knucklehead,” he said.

Shane ran his hands through his hair. “I mean intentionally. Jesus, can this day get any worse?”

Jake chuckled. “All right, tell me. What the fuck have you been doing with our client’s little sister? Pardon the pun.”

“It’s simple,” Shane said, leaning back in his chair. “I fell in love with her. End of story.”

Jake’s eyes widened. “You’re shitting me.”

“Nope. And this morning, she told me she was through with me.”

“How’d she find out?”

“Gabrielle.”

Jake nodded his head. “I knew the roommate was a weak link. It was only a matter of time before she squealed.”

“It’s not Gabrielle’s fault. She was just trying to protect Beth. It wasn’t malicious. But now Beth won’t take my calls or respond to my text messages. I’m completely in the dark, and it’s driving me nuts.”

“What are you gonna do? Cut your losses and run, before Tyler gets wind of this?”

“Hell no. I’m going to get her back.”

“Seriously?” Jake said. “Since when have you ever chased after a woman?”

“Since now. I’m not going to lose her, Jake.”

Jake grinned. “Oh, this is going to be interesting, especially once Tyler finds out.”

* * *

The rest of Beth’s morning passed uneventfully. She had two student appointments, she answered some e-mails, and she packed up a collection of periodicals that were due to be shipped back to Johns Hopkins Medical Center. It was noon by the time she made it back to her desk. She was dying to check her cell phone, but she was afraid of what she’d find. The problem was, she didn’t know which would be worse... if he’d continued trying to contact her, or if he’d given up.