Voyeur Extraordinaire (21 page)

“Trying to escape from Chris Cummings?” He tried to sound funny but his voice was too strained for that.

“Actually, I was trying to escape from you as well,” I told him pointedly, evening out the crinkles in my dress and staring intently at the ground. My face still felt hot and I knew the blush wouldn't leave my cheeks as long as he was so close. He'd let go of my waist already but we were still close, too close. I took a step back.

“Did you?” he asked softly.

I couldn't help but lift my gaze and look at him. His green eyes were gentle and he looked...guilty?

I tried to say something snide or witty to his question, but now that I was face to face with him, wittiness wasn't such an easy feat anymore. I hated myself for my inability to despise him wholly. When I looked into his handsome face, I still felt attracted to him. I wanted to tear my hair out in frustration. How could I still want him? Maybe I was masochistic.

“What are you doing here anyway?”

“It’s my parents’ anniversary.”

“No, I mean outside the bathroom window.”

“I had a feeling I would find you here. You have a habit of running away.”

I narrowed my eyes.

He ran a hand through his hair and dropped his gaze to the ground, obviously searching for words. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear what he had to say. Very likely not. Maybe I could just run even if that would prove Adrian’s point. With ballerinas my chances weren't too bad. I could reach the Toyota before him and lock myself into the car until the party was over. I'd outrun him before, and that had been with Bruno on my arm.

Very mature, Nora, honestly.

I hated the little voice in my head, but I listened to it, and didn't flee like a coward. I did however turn to walk away from him in a moderate pace. Unfortunately he looked up and began to speak. “I—I'm sorry, Nora.”

I froze. Not so much because of the apology, but because
of the sincerity in his voice.

I opened my mouth to say something, though I wasn't yet sure what. Adrian raised a hand to stop me. “Please just let me say this.” His green eyes were pleading. I closed my mouth and crossed my arms in front of my chest. I was anxious, but I tried not to let it show.

It was difficult to look into his eyes and so I focused on his chin, pretending to keep eye-contact.

“I didn't mean what I said last night after...” He trailed off. I raised my gaze a fraction and dared him with my eyes to finish the sentence. I wasn't sure why I did it. I wasn't keen on hearing him say it aloud. Maybe I was indeed a masochist.

I'd never seen him so uncomfortable and uncertain. It was nice to see him squirm. He twisted his hands in his hair and took a deep breath. “I was shocked, and the words didn't come out right.”

The words didn't come out right? That's one way to put it.
I don't do virgins.

I didn't allow myself to cry over this again, especially not in front of him. “Your words were pretty clear,” I said bitterly.
I'd tried to sound calm, obviously I'd failed.

Adrian's face was pulled into a grimace and his eyes were filled with frustration. “No, I didn't mean it like that...I...if I'd known that you've never...” I could tell that he was trying to choose his words carefully. “...
been with a man, I would have never done it. I've always been with women who knew what awaited them and I thought that you knew as well. I thought that you knew because you'd watched me. I should have asked...” He let out a sigh and shook his head. “...but I didn't even consider that you might be a virgin with the way you look.” He waved a hand at my body and I felt my cheeks heat even more.

I ignored the compliment. “I’m sorry I didn’t reach your high standards. I should have realized that the women you choose usually possess a certain level of skill.”

He let out a growl. “Now you’re putting words in my mouth. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I thought you like putting things in other people’s mouths.” My cheeks flamed at my boldness.

His lips twitched. “Don’t change the topic,” he said almost playfully. I steeled my heart against the emotions his tone brought out in me. “I prefer experienced women because there’s less pressure.”

“You seem like a guy who can handle pressure. And if all fails there’s Viagra.”

His eyes narrowed. “I didn’t mean it like that either. I’m talking about emotional pressure. To make it special and memorable. There are too many emotions involved.”

“Oh, it was memorable for me, Adrian, believe me.” I paused. “Especially the part where you shouted at me ‘I don’t do virgins.’ That gave me all the fuzzy feelings. I’m still having dreams about it.” I turned away, muttering, “Nightmares.”

Maybe it was my imagination but I thought I saw him wince. “I didn’t shout.”

I rolled my eyes.

“And I really didn’t mean it as an insult.” He shook his head. “Fuck. I’m not good at explaining myself. I’m not good with emotions. That’s why I’m a one-night, no emotions kind of guy. Keeps things simple and clean.”

“Simple and clean,
hm?” I stared off toward the forest. I suddenly didn’t want to talk anymore.

I could tell he wanted me to say I forgave him, but I wasn’t in a forgiving mood. He'd been right with part of what he'd said. I'd watched him banging random girls and he’d known about it, so it wasn't surprising that he'd think I wanted that, too. Yet, he'd hurt me and I didn't mean the short physical pain. His words and actions had hurt much worse.

His voice dropped an octave and his eyes became anxious. “Are you hurt?”

I frowned at him, not sure exactly what he was asking.

“There was...blood, and I was worried that I'd hurt you. I wasn’t exactly careful when I…” He trailed off.

I felt humiliated when I thought about the blood. I hadn't noticed it, but I had been pretty freaked out that night. The physical hurt was really the least of my worries, but he'd probably not understand. And I definitely didn't want to talk to him about the blood.

“Nora, is everything alright?”

I jumped slightly and turned my head to find Dad standing several yards away and watching us suspiciously. Well, he was glowering at Adrian. I didn't think he'd overheard our conversation, or Adrian wouldn't be standing next to me anymore. I could have hugged Dad right then for saving me from a very embarrassing answer. I needed time to think about everything, and I couldn't do that with Adrian around.

“Yes,” I said as I walked over to him. I didn't look if Adrian was following me. If he was clever, he wouldn't. Dad was already glaring in his direction.

He led me back into the house and I didn't leave his and Mom’s side as we stood near the huge buffet that the Millers had prepared. With my parents around, Chris wouldn't bother me, and Adrian would hopefully keep his distance as well. I took a plate and filled it with a few grilled vegetable skewers, though I wasn't very hungry, but it would keep me busy. I grabbed one of the skewers and brought it to my lips when Chris appeared in front of me. I couldn't help but scowl, but like usually he didn't notice. My parents had disappeared without my notice and now I was trapped with Chris.

“Nora, I've already wondered where you've gone,” he said with a flirtatious smile. He’d gained a few pounds since I’d last seen him, but at least his complexion had cleared. I’d forgotten how small he was in comparison to Adrian. Chris was only about one inch taller than me. “Did you get my messages?”

It wasn't clever of him to speak to me while I was armed with skewers. They might end up somewhere in his body. “Yes. I’ve been really busy in New York.”

I forgot my annoyance when I caught sight of Adrian at the other end of the room. He was talking to Rachel and Ben. I’d always thought Ben was tall and breath-taking, but he didn’t even come close to Adrian. I pushed an entire mushroom into my mouth in frustration. Adrian’s eyes were focused on Chris's back, glaring daggers at him. If looks could kill...

Was he jealous?
But why? I had to hide a smug smile behind the vegetable skewer and took another bite of it. I didn't hear a word that Chris was saying, but I gave a nod when I thought it was appropriate and smiled now and then. Adrian's expression darkened further. I was starting to enjoy the situation. Let him suffer a bit, though I still couldn't explain why he was reacting the way he did.

I managed to avoid him all evening but on our way out, Mom and Dad were saying goodbye to the Millers and Rachel intercepted me before I could step outside and head for the car. She handed me a slip of paper. “That’s my number and my address in New York. Let’s meet for coffee. I miss our friendship.”

“I miss it too,” I admitted. “I miss you.” I loved spending time with Amy, but Rachel and I had grown up together. We shared so many memories. I wanted her in my life again.

Rachel hugged me tightly. Adrian used that moment to appear in front of me. Rachel stepped back and glanced between him and me,
then she left with an encouraging smile in my direction. She punched Adrian’s arm when she walked past him. He rubbed the spot, but never took his eyes off me. He stepped very close, so close that I could smell his aftershave, and could feel his breath on my ear. “I’m sorry for last night. Let me make it up to you.”

He drew back, meeting my wide-eye
d stare. I was speechless.

“Nora?” my mother said from the doorway. Dad was already heading for the car. Mom was waiting for me and watching Adrian and me with a piercing look. Oh fuck.

I tore my eyes away from Adrian and followed my mother toward the Toyota without another word. Adrian’s eyes were following me until we drove off and disappeared behind the trees. He’d looked determined.

Let me make it up to you.
What the hell did that even mean?

B
runo and the two Bearded Collies greeted me when I stepped into the house. I turned on the lights and bent down to pat their furry heads. Bruno wagged his stumpy tail and jumped up and down excitedly. His joy made me smile and some of the anger, frustration and confusion toward Adrian – and myself – disappeared. Mom entered the hall after me. Dad had only dropped us off in front of the house and then driven off toward a horse that was having trouble giving birth. That was the problem with being a vet: you never really had a free day if you didn’t want to lose your loyal customers, especially customers with expensive breeding horses.

Mom had been suspiciously silent during the car ride and she’d yet to say something since Dad left. I really wished he were here. Without him, Mom and I would inevitably end up fighting. Sadly, the emergency at work would probably keep him busy most of the evening and perhaps even all night, so he wouldn’t save me from Mom’s interrogation.

“So,” she began in a casual tone. “You and Adrian?”

I turned. “What do you mean?”

She ignored the dogs that were whirling around her, probably hoping for more bacon. “I could tell that there is something between you two.”

“There’s nothing between us.” Not anymore. Not that there was ever anything meaningful between Adrian and me to begin with.
Let me make it up to you
. I couldn’t get his parting words out of my mind. Now they actually alternated with ‘I don’t do virgins’ in my head.

Mom ignored my denial and simply kept talking. “He
is
easy on the eyes, that’s for sure. And I hear he’s a very successful lawyer in a Manhattan law firm, so he’d definitely be a good catch too.” I could tell from the dreamy look on her face that she was already planning my bridal shower and the wedding.

“
Mom
,” I said. “There is nothing between Adrian and me.” I accentuated every word so my mother would get it this time. She stared at me, disappointment clear on her face. “Are you sure?”

No. I hesitated. “Yes.”

Mom’s lips twitched. “I knew it! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about him sooner.”

I let out a sigh, turned around and walked up the stairs slowly. Bruno followed at my heels but thankfully Mom got the hint. I entered my room and closed the door. Bruno tiptoed around me happily, his little eyes never leaving me. He was probably hungry. Bacon and whatever else my mom had given him throughout the day didn’t really
constitute a healthy dog meal.

I stepped out of my ballerinas and pulled the cocktail dress over my head before slipping into comfortable clothes – a
tank-top and sweatpants. I chanced a look at myself in the mirror and frowned. My skin was too pale and I was too thin. I had an A-cup, nothing to get excited about. My hair was thick and nice, and I liked my face, but my body certainly didn’t measure up to Adrian’s usual standards. His girls usually looked as if they could be Playboy bunnies. But Adrian
had
stared at my legs appreciatively, and the way he'd looked at me had made me feel beautiful. He'd even looked jealous of Chris. I didn't understand why.

He'd treated me horribly and now it seemed as if he was still interested in me. It didn't make sense. The only logical explanation for his behavior was guilt. He felt bad for how he'd acted and now he was trying to make up for it by acting nice. I hated being pitied and I certainly didn't want Adrian's pity.