Villainess (4 page)

When he didn’t respond I glanced over at him still frozen in the same spot. I fought the urge to roll my eyes.
Oh come on. Do I have to do everything myself?
“Shut the door, Matt.” I slipped my plain t-shirt over my head, exposing my bare breasts. “Shut the door and get your ass over here.”

As if seeing half of me naked sprung him into action, suddenly the door was closed and Matt was all up in my space. His large hands roughly covered my breasts causing my nipples to pebble. “Slow down, cowboy,” I rasped. “Let me…just let me.” My mind short-circuited as need swamped my body. I fumbled for the drawstring that held up Matt’s scrubs. I undid the knot, tugging his pants and boxers down, freeing his erection. I slid him into my mouth, swirling my tongue. He groaned, fisting my hair. The salty flavor of pre-cum teased my taste buds as I continued to work him over. Just when I felt him swell up to the point of almost impossibility, I pulled away.

I bent over the bed and gripped the sheets, wiggling my still clothed ass. “I need you to fuck me now.” Cool air raced over my skin as Matt exposed me to him. Goosebumps erupted in quick succession.

“Fuck,” he groaned as he plunged into me.

Matt’s fingers bit into my hips as he pounded into me, flesh slapping against flesh. I pushed back to meet his thrusts, making each one verge on crossing the line from pleasure to pain. I moaned into the bed, the scratchy fabric of the sheets muffling the sound. Spots danced behind my closed eyes as my body coiled tightly. And then I fell over the edge, my mind going blissfully blank.

Matt continued to pound into me for another few moments before he pulsed inside of me. Warm liquid ran down the inside of my thighs when he pulled out. I remained where I was, face down, ass up, gathering myself.

Clothing rustled behind me, and Matt was already fully dressed by the time I turned around. Conflict raged within his eyes. “Hey.” I smiled, stepping into him. I ran my fingers up his chest, cupping the back of his neck to pull him down to me. I kissed him softly on the lips before letting him go. “Don’t worry. It’ll be our little secret.”

Relief played across his features. “It shouldn’t have happened,” he mumbled.

“You’re right. And it didn’t. It never happened.”

He nodded, heading to the door without another word. He cast me one last glance before locking me back in my room. But I didn’t miss the longing that our little tryst had already placed there.

Yeah, it never happened, and it won’t be happening again tomorrow night.
I had Matt exactly where I wanted him.

“Can I have a banana? I want a banana. Can…”

I pulled my pillow over my head.
Now if only someone would give her a fucking banana.

Jonah

“So how about we pick up where we left off yesterday?” I asked while carefully keeping my gaze fixed on Leila’s face. I folded my hands on top of her folder, my posture stiff. Things would remain on a professional level today. There would be no Leila lounging on my desk. And no thinking of her in any way outside of what pertained to her case.

“You mean right before your jealous girlfriend freaked out and had me toted off?

“She’s not my girlfriend,” I snapped, my reaction causing Leila to grin.
Fuck
.

“Does she know that?”

I mentally chastised myself and let my composure settle back down on me like a mask. “Of course she does. She’s my boss and was merely concerned for my safety.”

Leila slouched down on the couch, her gaze flicking to the ceiling. “Mmm Hmm… I’m sure.”

“Sooo…”

“Back to the beginning?”

“Yes.”

We sat in silence a few moments before she spoke again. “Have you ever read comic books?”

My eyebrows lifted slightly, her change of topic unexpected. “No.”

Leila shifted like she was trying to get comfortable. She finally settled with her head resting on the overstuffed arm of the couch, her legs propped up on the back and her arms folded on her stomach. “How about a favorite superhero? Got one of those?”

“No, not really. I did like the Batman movies though.”
Where is she going with this?
I briefly considered steering her back to the topic I’d originally wanted to discuss but I’d already learned that Leila wasn’t one to be prompted. I was just going to have to let her take me where she wanted to go, as frustrating as that was.

“What, the Christopher Nolan ones?”

“Yeah.”

“Mmmm, okay. I can see that. I’ve always had a thing for Superman personally.”

“That surprises me,” I let slip out, grimacing. I needed to let her continue.

Leila turned her head, her green eyes glittering. “Because of the things I’ve done?”

“I suppose.”

“That’s because you don’t understand Superman. Most don’t. They see this goody-goody with God-like powers and they just don’t get the appeal. The thing is… the Superman story is about
us
.” She sat up abruptly, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder, excitement playing across her features. “Superman is such a great character because with all of his abilities he could be one of the most selfish beings this world has ever seen, maybe in all of existence, but he’s not. He’s not for one reason and one reason only. He was raised by a couple of decent, kind people from Kansas. Don’t you see?” She didn’t wait for me to respond. “It’s so beautiful, so simple… We don’t have to be bulletproof to be that way, we just have to be good people.” Her eyes met mine, large and luminous. “That’s what people should get from the character. That’s what people should strive for. That’s what I wished I could be.”

“But you weren’t. You—”

“No,” she cut me off. “Superman was always my favorite, but I realized without the Lex Luthers of the world to push him, he wouldn’t be as great. Ooor…” she drawled out. “Since we’re talking about mere mortals here. The Joker was right in the Christopher Nolan movies that you like—Batman needed the Joker. Without the Joker, Batman would never have risen to his greatest potential. All heroes need a villain. The villain is the yin to the hero’s yang. They work in tandem, each needing the other.” She flopped back on the couch, resuming her prior lounging position. “I realized that even though I wanted to be a hero, this world needed me to be a villain.” Leila nibbled her bottom lip, falling back into silence.

I studied her profile. Somehow she’d managed to make it all sound almost reasonable. Of course we were talking comic books and fictional characters. Not real life. I ran my hand over my head, clearing my throat. “All right then. That was a nice little foray into fantasy-land, quite literally. How about we talk about something a little more relevant?”

“You’re the doctor.” Leila seemed like she was going to be compliant, but I should have known better. “So many people hate on Superman, you know?” she mumbled, twirling a piece of hair while staring at the ceiling. “They like the darker characters better, but not me. I’ve always seen him for what he’s meant to be. He’s an eternal optimist. He sees past skin color, religion, social status, and all the little things that us humans have been taught that matter. They don’t. That’s his real super power—that’s what makes him a super man. He never wavers, he’s always there. He’s dependable in an undependable world. That’s what I wanted to create, or hope that I did actually. I hope that I’ve created dependable people in an undependable world. Decent humans that will rise to the occasion. The sacrifices I’ve made and the collateral damage I’ve left behind are all worth it if I’ve managed to do that much.”

“That’s not how it works, Leila. That’s not how any of it works.”

“That’s kind of the point. It should be.”

She wasn’t completely wrong. Her way of looking at things was simplistic, almost childlike, but not ridiculously off base. Our world was in a constant state of chaos. It was becoming harder and harder each day to stay focused on the good since it was buried so deep beneath all the shit.
If only I could grant Leila’s wish and give the world a real Superman.
Then maybe someone like her wouldn’t have become the villain she thought she needed to be. “Leila, the beginning.”

“Relentless, aren’t you? I haven’t quite decided if I like that about you or not.”

“You don’t have to like me, I’m your doctor and that’s it.”

“So are you going to tell me today what it means that I see butterflies when I look at those
paintings
?” Her hands made air quotes before falling back down at her sides.

“Not today. Maybe after you tell me what I want to know then I’ll tell you what you want to know.”

She snorted. “A bargain? All right. Looks like it’s back to the boring old beginning again.”

Leila

Despite the fact that I wanted to give him what he wanted, to talk about ‘the beginning’, my mind couldn’t help but wander. And unfortunately for me, when that happened, my thoughts always turned toward things I would rather not contemplate.

Doctor Jonah Yoshihara wanted to know what had landed me in his office, where the beginning of that story was, but the truth was, it really wasn’t my best friend’s death. That was just the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak. The event or events that had sent me down the path of the dark and twisted… My mother. It all had started with my mother.

I peered around the corner of the hallway hoping to catch a glimpse of what was going on in my parents’ room. My dad had been locked in there for four days, only coming out to use the bathroom, I think. I wasn’t actually sure about that. About five minutes ago, the door had slammed off the wall, causing me to jump as he thundered down the stairs and out of the house.

The tension that had been hanging over me for days caused me to tremble. It was always like that with my dad. None of us knew what would set him off or what it would ultimately mean for us. I wasn’t afraid of him, but my mom was. She denied it but I always saw the lie in her eyes.

I hugged my stuffed bunny tightly to my chest as I crept towards the open door. I had to know. My eyes widened as I took in the utter devastation before me. The entire room was obliterated. Everything ruined. Clothes were shredded, furniture smashed…it was as if a tornado had moved through the small space leaving nothing intact. That’s what all the noises late at night were. I’d lain awake, night after night listening. Just listening. Heart pounding out of my chest. I’d prayed for an answer, a way to help my family. But no one listened, at least that’s the way it seemed.

“Oh princess, you shouldn’t be in here,” my mom said as she came up behind me. I watched her face as her gaze roamed the room. Pain pinched her features. My dad hadn’t just ruined his things, but hers too.

“Why did he do this, mommy? Why did daddy do this?” Maybe if I could figure out why he was hurting then I could help. I just wanted to fix everything, make it all better.

She moved over to the where her jewelry box had been and started to sift through the debris. “Go back to your room. I need to get this cleaned up before your father gets back.”

I stood there a moment as my mom continued to work, making small piles of things. I could see the tears glistening in her eyes as she bit her lower lip. “Your father’s sick. He can’t help it. He can’t help when he does these things. But he loves us,” she whispered. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince me or herself. Maybe both.

I turned away, scuttling silently back to my room. Anger tightened my gut. How could my daddy treat my mommy that way? Why couldn’t he just be normal? Why was he always ruining everything? All those things he’d destroyed—we didn’t have the money to replace them. I was just a kid, but I understood a lot more than my friends did. I hated how my dad made me feel about him sometimes. I hated the feelings of powerlessness. I wanted to save them—save them both. My mom from my dad. And my dad from himself. But I already knew it’d never happen. I’d seen it.

I traced the cracks in the ceiling with my eyes, forcing my thoughts back to the present. The same anger from all those years ago bubbled in my gut. I hadn’t been able to save my mom or my dad. Lord knows I tried, but in the end, you can only do so much. I fought what I knew was coming, hating that I couldn’t change it.
If only Superman really existed
. A small smile tipped up my lips. Superman was fiction. I’d been creating real heroes.