Authors: Joey W. Hill
Vampire Trinity (22 page)
Gideon stared at him. “You’re just going to walk away?”
Daegan kept his gaze on Anwyn’s face. “The cost of my job has become far too dear. I nearly lost what mattered most to me. I do not work at their behest, but at my own.”
Anwyn pressed her lips together, her eyes suddenly bright with emotion. “You said that just to play on my female side.”
“
Cher
, you are all female. And I thank God for it.” Daegan lifted a shoulder. “My mother is gone, an accident caused by the onset of Ennui. One of the few mind-diseases that can affect our kind,” he added when Anwyn looked puzzled. “When a vampire has lived a certain amount of years, some are afflicted with a malaise, a severe apathy of sorts. She wandered outdoors too close to sunrise and wandered too far. Her mind was altered, thinking she was in her gardens, in darkness. Her servant tried to bring her back, and she wouldn’t permit it. She kept telling him to let her smell the flowers. She became ash in a botanical park, which I think gave her some small measure of happiness. I was unfortunately on an assignment at the time.
Cher
, you are all female. And I thank God for it.” Daegan lifted a shoulder. “My mother is gone, an accident caused by the onset of Ennui. One of the few mind-diseases that can affect our kind,” he added when Anwyn looked puzzled. “When a vampire has lived a certain amount of years, some are afflicted with a malaise, a severe apathy of sorts. She wandered outdoors too close to sunrise and wandered too far. Her mind was altered, thinking she was in her gardens, in darkness. Her servant tried to bring her back, and she wouldn’t permit it. She kept telling him to let her smell the flowers. She became ash in a botanical park, which I think gave her some small measure of happiness. I was unfortunately on an assignment at the time.
“I will not be absent again when someone else I love needs me.” He closed his hand over Anwyn’s. “You deserve a life. Whether it’s running your club or whatever you decide you wish to do, I am going to make certain you have it, sooner rather than later.”
“Daegan,” she murmured, obviously moved. Even Gideon couldn’t doubt the sincerity and determination he saw in the male’s expression. But Anwyn shook her head. “You can’t. Think of all the vampires like Barnabus you’ve stopped. It’s important.”
“Yes, it is. But there will always be battles to be fought. If time is not taken to love and live, then it’s easy to forget that there is more than blood and death in life.” He flicked a quick glance at Gideon, making it clear the conversation might apply to more than one of them at the table, after all. “A vampire’s life is long, Anwyn. I can take some time for this. Though I admit I do not intend to go quietly into the night until I determine who it is who betrayed me, and confront that loose end.”
“Thank God. I was going to say you were a real pussy if you let that one slide.” Gideon took another liberal swallow of the beer, appreciated the cold, bracing taste. It helped steady him. Being a witness to this significant turning point in Daegan and Anwyn’s relationship gave him that out-in-the-cold feeling once more. But was it because he didn’t belong, or because he was the one incapable of stepping back over the threshold?
Daegan gave him a narrow glance. “Of course, if I have to put up with your servant, I may already have lived too long.”
“I’d be happy to help you with that.”
“I’m sure.” Daegan cocked his head. “How about you, vampire hunter? What do you need in order to stop? What will finally answer the bloodlust you carry?”
Gideon’s brow creased anew.
Jesus, how did he do that?
“Psychoanalyzing me now?”
Jesus, how did he do that?
“Psychoanalyzing me now?”
“No. But I am wondering if I might hold the key to the answer you won’t give yourself.”
With a jolt, Gideon realized Anwyn wasn’t the only one on whom Daegan had planned to drop a bomb this evening. Only he felt an inexplicable urge to bolt, as if Daegan was about to throw that door wide-open, making it clear that only Gideon’s will was keeping him out in the yard, off that threshold.
“The vampire who killed your Laura was one of my assignments, Gideon,” Daegan said softly. “I executed him six months after he took her life.”
Everything stilled. He heard Anwyn’s indrawn breath, but after that, nothing but a hushed silence. It was as if the musicians had stopped midchord and the breeze silenced its whisper. Even the lights dimmed. Everything in Gideon zeroed in on Daegan’s face, the knowledge in his dark eyes.
“For her sake, and for yours, I wish I’d received those orders sooner.”
When Gideon had faced the terrible truth that vampires existed, he’d had to swallow the bitter pill that he’d never know which one had taken Laura. So he’d resolved to kill them all. Somewhere, at some point, her murderer would fall. Yet her murderer had fallen a long time ago, at the hands of the male before him.
“Did he suffer?”
“Eli Wallace had impulse problems and an insatiable bloodlust. He was a slight male, almost effeminate-looking, and so he’d found it was easier to lure females to follow him. My job is about justice, not vengeance, so I can’t give you the gift of his pain. But he is gone. I put him down like a rabid animal, quick and clean.”
Gideon swallowed. Swallowed again. Daegan’s gaze remained on his face, the male’s eyes as always seeing too much. “So you see,” he continued in that gentle tone, “the blood vengeance is paid.”
Gideon barely registered the words. He couldn’t put his mind around it, hadn’t realized how much of Laura’s unavenged death lay at the heart of what he considered himself to be. It was ludicrous. He knew he couldn’t kill them all, and yet . . . He wanted to get up, walk away into the night, get a deep, deep breath of air, maybe suffocate himself with oxygen. Pointless.
“I didn’t expect to have another purpose. I didn’t . . . I couldn’t even kill the person who killed her. She died, and I couldn’t help her. You killed her murderer. You . . .” Gideon shook his head. “Jesus, I was right. You really don’t need me. I’m a liability to you both, if anything.”
When he started to get up, Daegan caught his lapel with an oath. As he dragged him back down, the vampire met him eye to eye, warrior to warrior. “Why are you determined to be fucking inconsequential?” he asked quietly.
“Daegan.” Anwyn’s soft voice made him ease off, though he uttered a second quiet curse. His fingers squeezed Gideon’s neck, a rough caress, before he sat back.
Anwyn’s hand found Gideon’s, forming a knot of fingers locked beneath his aching breastbone. She cradled Gideon’s face with her other hand, forcing him to look at her when he just wanted to go, bolt, run back to the shadows. Daegan’s keen gaze told him that wasn’t going to happen, but it was moot. He couldn’t move when Anwyn was touching him like this.
“You keep trying to quantify your worth based on some physical measurement,” she murmured. “What you can give me; how well you can protect me. How many vampires you’ve killed. You won’t accept that letting yourself be loved is a gift as well, one of the most valuable. It’s one I want you to give me above all others. It will be harder than all the rest, because you don’t think you’re worth loving.”
He shook his head, tried to pull back, but she held on, stubborn. “Gideon, no. You won’t withdraw from me. You think the world wasn’t pulled out from under my feet a month ago? You and Daegan, you told me I have to deal with it. I’m not going to let you do anything less. Yes, everything about your life is changing. Join the club. Don’t leave it. Don’t leave me.”
Her gaze became flint then, and those fingers dug in. “I’m going to give you a command. You
will
allow me to love you, in whatever manner, however deeply, I wish to do so. You will learn to surrender your heart to me, Gideon Green, and when you finally do that, you will understand your own worth.”
will
allow me to love you, in whatever manner, however deeply, I wish to do so. You will learn to surrender your heart to me, Gideon Green, and when you finally do that, you will understand your own worth.”
“But I won’t be here . . .”
“Time doesn’t matter. That’s another thing you need to learn. Whatever plans you have for the future, until then you’ll put your trust in me, in a way you’ve never trusted anyone. Can you do that?”
She’d asked the question before, in a variety of ways, but not like this. There was broken glass in his chest. “I don’t know.” He closed his hands on her wrists. “Anwyn, I don’t think I can give myself that. I don’t think I can give myself anything.”
“You’re not giving it. I’m taking it.” She stared at him, hard. “All right? Sit down now.”
She eased him back into the chair with a firm hand, and then surprised him by sliding into his lap, bringing his arms around her so he cradled her there, feeling her soft body press against him, her arms wind around his neck as she laid her cheek on his shoulder.
“Don’t think, Gideon. Just exist. Listen to the music, and the wind moving in the trees, and feel the connection between the three of us.”
Daegan moved into the chair Anwyn had vacated, stretching an arm behind Gideon’s chair. With shock, he realized they’d closed ranks to shelter him. To care for him. He wanted to be ashamed of his weakness, of this throbbing pain inside of him, but he couldn’t breathe.
Laura was gone, and the blood debt was paid. Where did that leave him? Who and what was he now, if he wasn’t sure he could be a vampire hunter?
“Shhh . . .” she murmured, and her lips were on his, coaxing them open, gently tangling with his tongue, catching an unexpected harsh sob. “Hold on to me, love. I’m yours. We’re yours. We want you. You belong to us.”
He knew it wasn’t true, and even if it was, he couldn’t be that forever. But for right now he was too overwhelmed to question or fight it. He needed the pressure of Daegan’s hand on his back, his arm against his shoulders, the sheltering cant of his body. The curl of Anwyn’s, like a beautiful pale seashell curved over his exposed wounds, keeping them safe from swooping predators.
In time, he got his thundering heart, the terrifying desire to break down, under control, and he just sat quietly under their touch. He could hate Daegan for telling him, but he saw the vampire hadn’t realized the effect it would have on him, how it would taint their evening. There was some small satisfaction in seeing Daegan screw up for once.
But he wished it could have lasted forever, that brief, magical connection right before, undisturbed by any trauma or terror that might lie ahead, or truths too difficult to face. As he let the world spin around him, Gideon wondered what would happen when it righted itself. Would he walk away from the grave he’d haunted in his mind for more than a decade? Finally say good-bye?
But to who or what?
8
“
W
HY are you sent after vampires? What crimes can vampires commit, if they’re allowed to kill up to twelve humans a year, including their annual kill?”
W
HY are you sent after vampires? What crimes can vampires commit, if they’re allowed to kill up to twelve humans a year, including their annual kill?”
Over the next several nights, Anwyn continued to receive lessons from Daegan, as well as grill the vampire herself, on Council and vampire society. When she’d opened Atlantis, she’d learned the key to doing it successfully was to immerse herself in as much knowledge about how a club worked as possible, and then tailor it to her own personality. It was like making a dress. The fabric had to be there before the design could be cut. Understanding her need, and approving of it, Daegan patiently answered every question, as well as detailed the Council and the rules that governed the vampire world, a whole shadow society living beneath the radar of most humans.
Gideon remained quiet for much of it, and absented himself from their rooms for this or that reason on more than one occasion. Anwyn would have cornered him to draw him out, but she sensed he needed a few days’ space. She even helped him, sending him on errands to the club levels or in town, and didn’t remark on it when he stayed away far longer than needed to complete her lists. A couple of times, she touched his mind and found him sitting in a park, or a coffee shop, his thoughts whirling in a slow, confused spin, processing the things he knew, that he was becoming.
When in the apartment, he spent a lot of time in Daegan’s weapons and workout room, testing his strength and endurance incessantly. She bit back any smartass observations about a vampire hunter honing his skills to kill vampires while caring for one, because Gideon’s sense of humor was out of order for the moment.
When they’d returned from the wine and cheese event, Gideon’s emotions had been in such a turmoil that, by unspoken accord, she’d brought him to her bed, taken him into her body in simple, sweet lovemaking, let him fall asleep that way. Daegan had come to her later, slid in behind her, and their hands had rested on him together, stroking his hair. When she woke at dusk, Gideon was gone and she and Daegan had been twined together alone.
She tried to not intrude into the deeper layers of Gideon’s mind, simply reaching out on occasion, a subtle caress to let him know she was there. Tonight he’d come back from his errands with groceries for himself, some new clips for his guns. Now he was listening to their conversation about Daegan’s assassinations as he cleaned and sharpened his knives.
He was sitting on the floor, his back against his sofa. He did his guns on one night of the week, knives on another. The crossbows and wooden weapons were checked and oiled on yet another. Usually the cleaning was a calming exercise for him, but tonight he appeared to be getting more agitated. Confirming it, he rose abruptly. “I’m going to go practice.”
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