Unravelled (25 page)

“Al,” I interrupt him.

“Yes, Miss Alex?”

“Thank you.”

“Gee, ma’am. It’s my job.”

“One you did exceptionally well.” I watch Al get embarrassed and it looks like he wants to jump out the car and hide. Poor soul. “I’ll tell Mr Montgomery about the marvellous work you’ve done.”

Al just smiles and digs a cloth out his pocket to wipe at an invisible bit of dust on the dashboard. He tells me how to work the alarm system, which seems easy enough, but I think I’ll avoid using it altogether.

“Al, are there any papers I need to sign before I go?” It’s time I get going and see what’s happening in the office. I’ve been here for almost an hour.

“Oh no. Mr Montgomery sorted everything out this morning.”

“Did he now?” So that’s why he left so early this morning.

“Yes, he said that he’ll do all the paperwork and you can just drive out. He also said that you’ll leave his car here so I can fix the side. What happened to it?”

“Um...Al...it’s a long story.”

“Strange, that exactly what Mr Montgomery said. He also called your car a bomb. Do you know why?”

“Not a clue, Al.” Why would be call my car Bomb when he snickers at me every time I do? The man is a mystery. I give Al the keys to Adam’s car and then grab him in a hug which leaves him blushing with embarrassment or delight – I don’t know. I get in my new old car and turn the key with a huge smile on my face. A weekend of exceptionally good sex, a car that’s been given a new life and a festival that’s on its way to be great. I feel on top of the world and sweep this morning’s proposal under the carpet to be fretted over at a later stage while I sing at the top of my voice with the radio. What possibly could ruin such a wonderful day?

Chapter 21

“You had sex!”

I’m barely through the door when Ray decides that he knows what I did with my weekend and greets me with this announcement to the world. I close my eyes in pure horror as I feel the sound wave of my discreet assistant’s greeting thunder through me and into the rest of the building. Now would be the perfect time for me to remember
Erin
’s sermons, Juan’s tips and my mother’s etiquette lessons. But alas, no dignified response comes to mind and when I open my eyes, the only thing I can think of is a slow and painful death for Mr Ray Sharpe. I start walking towards his desk, but he’s already out from behind it, clapping his hands in glee.

“I want to know everything.” He mistakes my outstretched hands – I’m really going to throttle him – as me reaching out, grabs my hands and, I kid you not, starts doing a little dance of joy. I’ve only seen this in movies, and to tell you the truth, the real life version done by my gay assistant makes all the characters in Will and Grace look mild and boring. I pull my hands back, but Ray holds on and tries to get me to join in his little dance of joy. This ticks me off even more and I pull harder to regain possession of my hands so I can use them to wrap my fingers around his neck. When Ray releases my hands they come back to me with much more force than I expected, and I punch myself in the eye. For one moment I see so many stars that I think I’m in a rehab centre in
Hollywood
.

Ray looks at me in pure shock and reaches out to help me, but quickly pulls his hand back when I shoot him the angriest one-eyed look.

“Don’t touch me,” I hiss at him. I walk to my desk and throw myself in my chair, feeling a bit, only a bit, guilty for begin so sharp with him and half-heartedly say, “Sorry”.

“No, doll. I’m sorry. I should’ve known better.” He picks my handbag off the floor where it dropped in the wrestling match and gently puts it on my desk. “I’ll go get some ice.”

He walks out the office and says over his shoulder, “And then you can tell me everything.” My aim, with only one functioning eye, is a bit off and the stapler that I throw at him bounces off the door frame.

It’s late morning when Adam storms into the office. I get startled by his abrupt entrance and give a little yelp. I’m in the middle of calculating some unexpected costs from the electricians and since math requires extra concentration from me, I haven’t had my eye, the one that is not swollen, on the door. My yelp startles Ray, who looks up from his place-setting planning for the opening banquet and in a high voice asks, “What? What?” with his head pivoting from me to Adam and back a few times.

Adam takes all this in and then bursts out laughing. I’ve seen Adam smile quite a lot this weekend, and I’ve heard him chuckle, but I’ve never heard him give a belly laugh like this. Ray and I look at each other quizzically, shrug and both wait for Adam to finish. Ray looks decidedly uncomfortable and I’m sitting with my top lip pulled up on the one side in a weird half smile.

“Um, Adam... what are you laughing about?” My sincere question sets him off once again and I deem it wise to keep quiet in this specific situation. After a few more moments, Adam takes a shaky breath and straightens up.

“I heard that you punched yourself in the eye and would not believe it. I thought it was a physical improbability, but once again you’ve proven me wrong.”

“Oh, that,” I sigh. By the time my very trusted and discreet assistant Ray returned from the kitchen with some ice for my eye, half the office knew that I had punched myself. I’m sure that it took that half a full five minutes to inform the other half of the office about my ‘new look. There has been a steady flow of curious individuals just happening to walk past my office and steal a peek at my already discoloured and swollen eye.

I was especially surprised when Agatha came into my office to bring down a document that I only need tomorrow. I think the expression on her face is the closest anyone will ever see to a smile, and I’m glad to be the one who brought laughter to her day. I’m being sarcastic. She was rather stern to Ray about certain receipt that he was supposed to have filed with her which he didn’t, so I don’t think my eye lightened her mood much. And now Adam has come to see my puffed, colourful eye.

“Don’t worry about me so much, Adam. I will be okay,” I say sarcastically and angrily punch numbers into my calculator. Not to calculate anything. I just want to punch something, anything. He might have brought me much satisfaction, several times this weekend, but I’m too aware of my painful eye to be in a post-coital forgiving mood. Adam looks at me for a few intense minutes, walks over to my desk, takes my head into his hands and gently places a kiss above my mutilated eye.

“Now you’ll be okay,” he smiles and straightens. “How’s your car?”

“Oh Adam, it’s perfect. I love the daisies.”

“I looked for something with bombs on it, but it looked too macabre, so I stayed with my first idea. Al gave me a few strange looks.”

“I’m sure he did.” We smile at each other and I think how much I enjoy this man. It won’t be difficult to accept his proposal. I don’t know how long we’ve been looking at each other, but Ray clearing his throat very loudly brings us back to reality and Adam walks to the door. He winks at me and nods at Ray in greeting.

“Ray.”

“Mr Montgomery.”

I stare at the empty space in the door where Adam had been only seconds ago and sigh dramatically. How am I going to handle this situation when Adam is being openly affectionate with me? I sigh again and drop my forehead in the crook of my arm on the desk.

“Ray,” I mumble.

“Yes, Alex?”

“Did you tell anyone I slept with Adam when you told them about my eye?” I ask from the folds of my sleeve, dreading the answer.

“No!” He sounds so horrified at that idea that I turn my head and look at him. “Alex, that is nobody’s business but your own, as you proved by not telling me anything.” He was rather put out when I refused to give him any detail – no matter how much he begged, cajoled or threatened.

“Thank you.” What a relief. Through unfortunate experience I’ve learned that the more public a relationship, the more painful the break-up and I really want to keep this one under wraps since I have no idea where it’s heading.

“Doll, it’s going to be very difficult keeping it private when you two love birds stare into each other’s eyes like you did just now.”

“Oh yes, that.”

“Yes, that.” He rolls his eyes at my obvious state of infatuation. “It’s as clear as day that you are in love.”

“I’m not!” I lift my head from my arm and glare at him with one eye.

“Doll, you are in love. And not only are you in love, that man also deeply adores you.”

“You think so?”

“I don’t think so, I know so. All anyone has to do is notice how he looks at you. I wish a man would look at me like that.” He sighs wistfully. “No, he positively adores you and I can see you are in love with him.”

“Ray, I’m not in love with that man.”

“Oh puh-lease,” he laughs. “If you’re not in love with him, then I’m the queen of
England
.”

“Ray, you’re already a queen.” We both burst out laughing at my wit and I hope that this signals the end of this conversation, but my luck does not seem to hold.

“Um...” Ray hesitates and plays with his pen, a habit he has that betrays his nervousness. This does not bode well for me and my stomach does a triple back somersault. “I think you need to know that there’s an office pool with a substantial amount of money placed on the date of your first...uh...action.”

The sounds that escapes from me sounds as strangled as I feel at this very moment. I throw my head back into the crook of my arm and really wish I could just stay there. Despite
Erin
’s attempts, Juan’s make-over and Bart’s coaching, I still have stayed true to character – the kind of person other people place bets on.

Here’s the thing though, I don’t really care. I am who I am, and I rather like that person. I go into deep self-dislike when I embarrass myself, but since I’ve lived with that glitch my whole life, I’m used to it. My recent attempt to change who I am, has not only been utterly exhausting to my soul and torturous to my feet, but I have come to agree with Pam. It’s wrong to not be true to myself.

These deep insights into my soul brings new pain to my head, but what really makes my eye ache even more at this moment is not that they bet on Adam and I doing ‘it’, but they placed bets on the when. I utter another groan and wish that I had had Houdini as a coach. Then I could escape this craziness that is my life. I lie on my arm very grateful to hear Ray working on his computer. I really don’t want to undergo any more of his interrogation. As a matter of fact, I just want to disappear right now.

But, I’m my grandmother’s offspring and after two minutes of self-pity, I lift my head and attack my computer once again. It’s interesting how different things look when one uses only one eye. It takes a while for me to get used to how things appear on-screen, but in no time I’m lost in answering the thirteen emails that all of a sudden appeared in my inbox.

“Good lord, Alex. It’s true.” Jamie walks into the room and stares at my eye with undisclosed fascination.

“Hi Jamie.”

“How did she do this?” He addresses the question to Ray, but looks at me as he walks around my desk to get an even closer look.

“Jamie, back off.” I will bite.

“But I want to see.” He leans in.

“No.”

“But...”

“I think you should listen to her. She’s been in a violent mood all day,” Rays says from behind his computer screen.

“Only after you caused me to punch myself in the face.” Thankfully Jamie is back to the other side of my desk and is surprised at my accusation aimed at Ray. The two of them continue to talk about my eye and I’m back at punching my calculator.

“Roger told me you came with your car this morning.” Never doubt the security guard to keep everyone in the loop.

“I got Bomb this morning and Al did an amazing job.” On the way to the office I was thinking how Bomb had undergone the equivalent of my make-over, just with more permanent results. At least Bomb doesn’t have a personality that is in dire conflict with power suits and killer heels. That is what led me to consider dropping the make-over thing altogether. I might keep the matching bra-and-panty sets. And the hairstyle. I’ve come to like a few of those sexy shoes as well, but the power suits will have to go!

“How long will it take with Mr Montgomery’s car?” Jamie’s question brings me back to this moment.

“Oh, I don’t know. Al told me that he discussed it with Mr Montgomery and they sorted everything out, so there is nothing to worry about.” My ambiguous statement is aimed at reassuring Jamie and it seems to work.

“Well, I’ll let you get on with your day, then.” Jamie turns to Ray with a twinkle in his eye. “If she does anything wild again, I want to be the first to know.”

I groan loudly and throw my head back on my arms when Jamie leaves the office. Not even three hours ago I thought that nothing could ruin this day, but everything’s gone south since that thought. And just when I think that my day can not get worse, I hear the recognisable clatter of female heels and hear Ray utter the dreaded greeting.