Unhurt (4 page)

Bobby was my buddy and all, but discussing my private life wasn’t something I did with, well, anyone actually. Side effect of living your life one covert mission at a time, I guess, but my years as a SEAL hadn’t exactly made me a very sharing person.

“It’s not that. I mean, yeah, she’s obviously beautiful, and I can say that because she looks
nothing
like you, but, that’s it.” I nodded like I was confirming it for myself. Only even I didn’t believe me.

Neither did Bobby. “That’s it? Huh.” He started walking toward his office. “Too bad. The way the two of you were going back and forth here earlier I thought maybe Joss had finally come across a guy who could match her shot for shot.”

He disappeared in the small room, closing the door behind him as he went.

Fuck
. What was I doing? I liked Joss. She was funny and had an edge to her you didn’t find in a lot of women.  But I had a feeling that edge hadn’t come out of nowhere. Life had likely pummeled the softness right out of her, leaving behind something jagged enough to defend what remained at the core. Her heart.

“W
hat the
hell happened? Are you alright in there?” Aunt Deb was banging on the door. I’d been locked in the bathroom for at least ten minutes churning up everything I’d consumed since breakfast, which was mostly coffee and sushi.

I was kneeling on the floor resting my forehead on the cool ceramic of the toilet. I didn’t even care how gross that was. All I could think about was Wyatt and what news Travis had in store for me. Since he’d reiterated the point that he was in fact still in possession of his parental rights, it clearly wasn’t anything I would be pleasantly surprised about.

There was another loud knock on the door. “Joss? At least make a noise so I know you’re still conscious.”

I leaned back as far as I could and unlocked the door. A second after the latch clicked, the door came swinging open with Deb practically falling into the room after it.

“Holy shit, kid. Did someone die?”

I shook my head and tucked my legs up closer to me. “No. Not yet anyway. I may end up killing Travis though.”

“No. That’s who was at the door?” Her blue eyes went huge.

“Yeah. He said he had some kind of news, but wouldn’t say what it was.” Really wasn’t that hard to guess. I mean. I didn’t want to believe it, but the answer was fairly obvious.

“He’s taking you back to court.” Even Aunt Deb had figured it out.

“I’m assuming. I mean, what else would it be? Question is, why now?” Why indeed. That part scared the crap out of me. After how things went down last time, there had to have been some serious changes on Travis’s end for any judge to even entertain the possibility of revisiting Wyatt’s custody arrangement.

“Has anyone gotten in touch with you? Your lawyer? Has anyone served you any papers?”

I was shaking my head over and over, tears welling up in my eyes. “No. Nothing. But if Travis is putting forth the effort to make a house call, they can’t be far behind.” I buried my face in my hands trying to hide the fact that I was about to have a full on ugly cry. “What am I going to do?”

Aunt Deb got down on the floor beside me and reached her arm around me. “Same thing you did last time. You’re going to fight for your son. Whatever it takes. And then, you’re going to win.”

If only it would be that easy.

Not wanting to chance Wyatt wandering in on us, Debbie got up and left the bathroom again. She closed the door behind me, allowing me plenty of privacy while I got my shit together. The last thing I wanted was for Wyatt to see me this way and worry. Of course it would be harder to keep him safe from everything this time around. He’d only been a baby back then, blissfully ignorant and unable to remember any of it. Things would be different now.

Instantly I felt my stomach contract once more as I began to heave, my body literally trying to reject this new reality in which I wasn’t sure if I could protect my son. The worst part was not knowing what I was up against. I felt completely helpless, with no control over any of it. Well, I would have to do something about that.

A seed of determination slowly planting itself in my mind, I forcefully brought the reflex to purge to a stop. Next I washed my face, rinsing away every last tear I had shed. Then, taking a deep breath, I walked out of the bathroom ready to face the battle head on.

In spite of the multiple calls I made to my attorney, several days went by without any news. I was going out of my mind and doing my best to stay busy with work to keep from completely losing it.

Wyatt and I were out in the workshop where I was fixing up a set of barstools for Bobby while my monkey man was finger painting a giant canvas I had tacked to the back wall. Busy sanding, I almost didn’t hear it when my phone rang. Desperate for even a shred of news, I hit call without even checking to see who it was.

“Hello?”

“Joss? It’s Derek.”

“Who?” I’d been expecting my lawyer, Diane. My mother could have been on the other end at that point and I wouldn’t have recognized her.

“Um, Derek Tice. We met at your brother’s bar a few days ago...I’m the guy with the tubs.”

My brain had caught up with me halfway through his explanation.

“Sorry, I’m waiting on a call. Of course I know who you are. What’s up?” I was tapping my fingers on the workbench, eager to get off the phone again. I realized call waiting would ensure that I didn’t miss any attempts to get through to me, but I was running low on logic.

“I was just checking in to see if you’d be around today for me to drop off the doggy baths and furniture.” He sounded unsure of himself, hesitant. And who could blame him? I wasn’t exactly being particularly warm or pleasant.

My eyes swept the shop. Judging from the amount of work I had, I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

“Sure. That’d be fine. I should warn you though, I live quite a ways outside of town. We’re talking, like, a forty minute drive.” A little something I probably should have shared with him sooner, only I’d been too excited at the prospect of getting those stupid tubs, which now seemed pretty fucking unimportant.

“No problem at all. I could use a nice ride out into the country.” He was being sweet and I couldn’t even begin to contemplate what his motivation was. Worse, I suddenly didn’t want him to be. Like hating Travis was more powerful if I could just hate all men at once and then funnel all of that combined hatred in his direction. Maybe if I conjured up enough of it I could turn him to stone or something. It was ridiculous, but fear had robbed me of my rational mind for the time being.

“Whatever you say. I’ll just text you the address then.” My tone was horrible and I felt a pang of guilt over it. Derek just took my attitude in stride, which almost made me wonder if it was somehow translating differently over the phone line.

“That works. See you in about an hour then.”

The call ended. I stared at my screen for a long while, willing myself to type out my address and hit send. I honestly had no fucking clue what my problem was. All I knew was that I wanted Derek to stay as far away from me as possible, and giving him the info he needed to come directly to me seemed more than just a little counterproductive in achieving the desired results.

After sending the dreaded text, I double checked the volume on my ringer twice, making sure it hadn’t accidentally been turned down, or worse yet, off, and then I placed it close to me on one of the tables I had next on my to-do list.

I had just applied the final coat of clear sealant on the bar stools when I saw Derek’s truck pull up. Wyatt heard the loud sound of his engine and quickly came running over to see who it was. I mean, he was four and a boy, so big trucks were about the most exciting thing in the world to him. Or at least they were until he spotted Hattie sitting in the front seat next to Derek.

“Mommy! Look! A dog,” he exclaimed, shaking his little pointer finger in her direction.

“I know.” Instinctively, I reached down and scooped him up into my arms. Hattie had been friendly and all, but I wasn’t sure if Derek was planning on letting her out of the truck and if he was, I had no interest in seeing my kid nose to nose with a dog that outweighed him by probably fifty pounds and could gobble him up in just a few bites.

“Hey.” Derek smiled as he climbed out of the driver’s seat and came over to greet us. “What’s up little man?” He leaned in ever so slightly and lifted his hand to give Wyatt a high-five. A gesture which my kid promptly returned.

“I’m Wyatt. What’s your name?”

“It’s nice to meet you, Wyatt. I’m Derek.” He had yet to take his focus off my son to greet me.

“I like your dog.” Wyatt was beaming.

“Yeah? Well, if it’s okay with your mommy, I bet she’d like to meet you.” At last his eyes came up to greet mine, a silent question in them.

I nodded reluctantly. “Is Hattie good with kids?”

Derek shrugged. “Let’s find out.”

“What?!”

“I’m just kidding. She’s great with kids. We volunteer together at the children’s hospital doing dog therapy. She’s certified and everything.” He did the half-smile thing, to encourage me I guess, and proceeded to open the door for his massive German Shepard, who apparently along with her owner was the kindest spirit to ever walk the face of the earth. Dog therapy? Children’s hospital? Seriously?!

“Down, Mommy. Down.” Wyatt was tugging at my arms, not at all satisfied with the air-born prison he found himself in. Seeing no reason not to, I gave in and lowered him back down to the ground to meet Hattie face to face.

My worries were for naught as she licked his face gently and stood completely still while Wyatt ran his little hands all through her thick fur. After all of the tension I’d been experiencing all week, I could suddenly feel my insides coming undone. The anger and hate. Everything was crumbling away at the sight of my sweet boy falling in love with this warmhearted dog.

Derek’s hand reached out to touch mine. “Are you okay?” The concern in his eyes was frighteningly genuine. A small part of me had almost taken it as a welcome invitation to spill my guts and just unload all of my hurt and angst on him. But I didn’t. Instead, I sucked it up and pulled it together.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I moved my hand away from his touch. “So, where are those tubs?”

His brow furrowed and I was sure he didn’t buy my less than convincing statement, but he was kind enough to let it go and move things along.

“They would be straight back here.” He pointed back toward the trailer as he began to walk to the end where he unlatched and lowered the loading ramp.

“Check them out.” I rubbed my hands together, motivating myself to feel some sense of enthusiasm. They were pretty cool. Better even than I’d pictured them, actually.

“Where do you want them?” Derek went to lift the first one.

“In the backyard. I’m going to use them as planters.” I proceeded to pick up the one that had been beneath it.

“Oh, I’ll unload them. Don’t worry about it.” Derek was doing his best to gesture for me to put the tub back with just the use of his head.

“It’s fine. You drove them all the way out here, the least I can do is help get them out of your trailer and into my garden.” He was still standing there, apparently contemplating whether or not that was acceptable. “Seriously. Start moving. This shit’s heavy.”

He shook his head, laughing, but finally turned around and began walking around to the back of the house.

“Aunt Deb,” I called out loudly as I passed by my front door. It opened a second later.

“What?” She had patches of flour on her face, a clear sign something delicious was in the works.

“Just unloading some stuff. Can you keep an eye on Wyatt, please?”

She nodded and waved me onward eyeing the heavy load in my arms while I hurried to catch up to Derek.

“Wow.” He had set down the tub and was gazing out across the great green beyond.

I came up beside him and placed my load on the ground as well. “Not bad, huh?”

“Not bad at all. This is amazing.”

I nodded, enjoying the view. Didn’t seem to matter how often I stared at it, it always brought a smile to my face. “Yeah, my yard is pretty much the reason I moved all the way out to the middle of nowhere.” I pointed away toward the fence-line peeking between the trees and shrubbery. “The property itself is over five acres, but the bulk of it sits right here behind the house and workshop. It’s completely encircled with a variety of fruit trees and berry bushes.”

“I never would have pegged you for a farmer.” He smirked.

Jackass. “Well, becoming a mom wasn’t exactly in my plans when Wyatt came along. I was basically your run-of-the-mill twenty-five year old with a ‘go with the flow and fly through life by the seat of my pants’ kind of attitude before him, so I was just slightly overwhelmed with the concept of being responsible for another human being. Sure, winging it had always worked for me, but I wasn’t about to take those kinds of chances with someone else’s life. Not when he wasn’t even old enough to have a say in it. Well, he wasn’t old enough to say
anything
at all.”

“Aha. So your carefree lifestyle just went out the window.” He was grinning, but I got the distinct feeling he still totally understood what I was saying.

“For sure. Gardettos and Red Bull for dinner were suddenly out. Fresh, whole and organic foods were in. Before I knew it, I was gardening and raising chickens. I’ve almost purchased a cow twice already, but Bobby keeps talking me out of it by driving me past a dairy farm. The stench always kills my cattle ambitions in the moment, but the effect seems to only be temporary.”

Derek chuckled. “I don’t know. I’ve smelled a dairy farm or two. I think I’d give up milk before I adopted a cow.”

“Sure, milk I could give up. But ice cream?”

“You make your own ice cream, too?” He wasn’t laughing anymore.

“Of course. Anyway, it’s all good. I can have my ice cream and eat it too, so to speak. Living out here in the boonies means I’m not the only pseudo farmer around and I’ve made friends with a few people who are more than happy to exchange fresh eggs for milk once or twice a week.”