Trouble (4 page)

“I’m trying to help you by making sure you fall in with the right crowd,” my father shouts over the tap.

Damn it, Dad, I gave you a chance.

“You’re a teacher,” I say, hoping a joke might be the way out. “You’re more of a hindrance than a help when it comes to making friends in the schoolyard.”

He tuts and frowns, deliberately not getting it. “You know what I mean.”

“Why don’t you spell it out for me? Just to be clear.” I can hear the edge creeping into my voice, that porcelain-sharp tone that can shatter any good feeling in a room. But Dad’s on a self-righteous rant and there’s no stopping him now.

“Hannah’s not the sort of girl you should be hanging out with.”

“Why?” I say, tightly.

“She’s got a reputation as a bit of a … bicycle.”

“So?” The smell of burning oil is catching in my throat.

“I don’t think my son should be seen with someone like that.”

“Your son?” My voice is the other side of angry. “That’s a bit of a telling statement, isn’t it? Now we’re in the same school I’m defined by who my father is?”

“That’s not what I said…”

“Er, yes it is.” I correct him.

“Still…”

“No, not ‘still’. It’s not for you to decide who I’ll be friends with.” I walk past him, trying not to stop in the doorway and say too much, but I can’t help myself. “I’m not perfect either, but it’s up to me to make my own mistakes.”

Dad stands with his back to me, the pan spitting furiously, smoke drifting up across the lights. I think he’s about to turn and tell me that he’s sacrificed enough already, that the least I can do is keep my head down and stay out of trouble and I wait, wanting to hear it.

Nothing happens. His shoulders sag and he reaches up to turn the extractor on.

“I don’t think your mum and I can handle any more mistakes,” he says, so quietly that I’m not sure he knows I’m listening.

TUESDAY 6
^TH
OCTOBER

HANNAH

There’s a saying that you should fight fire with fire. It’s a stupid saying, because everyone knows you should fight fire with water. But I’m sticking with the phrase, because that’s how I’m working it.

By lunchtime every girl in the school is talking about Fletch. His cock’s bent. He comes quicker than Monday morning. One nipple’s larger than the other. His mum caught him trying to give himself a blow job.

Last lesson is PSHE. It’s one of the few subjects I do without Katie – this and French – and I enjoy it. Don’t get me wrong, I like sitting with Katie all the time. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t, would I? But I spend a
lot
of time with her and sometimes it’s nice to take a break from being Hannah, Katie’s best friend. In PSHE I can just be me.

Of course, just being me means talking about boys and sex with the girls – and boy – on my table. Tilly and Rahni don’t really get out much – I never see them at the park. Tilly has a boyfriend, but their relationship brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “taking it slowly”. They’re practically taking it backwards. I’m not sure whether Rahni has even kissed a boy. It’s the same with Gideon, although I know he’d rather it wasn’t. Still, whatever our expertise, we’re all equally happy talking about it.

“Have you heard about Fletch?” Rahni asks as soon as I sit down and I see a meaningful glance pass between Gideon and Tilly. Rahni was off all last week when I gleefully gave the other two the dirt on my last hook up with Fletch. They don’t know that tonight I’ll be doing
a lot
better than that greasy little spunk stain.

“What about him?” I ask, as I take my books out. I wonder which rumour she’s heard? I hope it’s the nipple one, that’s my favourite.

“I heard someone say that one of the guys thought he saw Fletch having a” – she mouths the word
wank
– “in the school showers.”

Her eyes grow wide and I can’t stop myself from opening my mouth in a total OMG moment.

That rumour isn’t even one of mine. Operation Embarrass Fletch has officially gone viral.

FRIDAY 9
^TH
OCTOBER

HANNAH

My boobs hurt. They sometimes do around my period and I’ve checked that I’ve got some tampons in my bag, but I seriously hope it doesn’t turn up tonight.

“You look way good,” Katie says glancing not-so-subtly at my tits. I have broken the unwritten rule: Katie does boobs, I do bum.

“So do you.” I stare meaningfully at the hem of her skirt swishing up slightly as she walks. There isn’t much room for error in the swish.

“Easy access.” She shrugs and loops her arm in mine.

“Same here.”

Katie finds me funniest when I say something she would and she cracks up at this.

“Do you think Rex has broken up with that posh girlfriend he has?” she says, once she’s recovered.

“So that’s why you’re making such an effort!” I don’t know what to make of this. Katie used to be very rude about Rex, but lately I’ve caught her looking at him thoughtfully.

“No. I don’t dress for anyone but me.” Katie hands me her bottle as she gets out a cigarette and pauses, turning against the breeze to light it. My hand is cold and my knuckles are white as I grip the glass. Inside is some vodka mixed with a splash of coke. There’s another in my bag.

I can’t shift the feeling that my best mate is up to something.

“Hello? Calling occupants of Hannah’s brain?”

I hadn’t realized I’d zoned out. Katie’s offering her pack, with a filter beckoning me towards it.

Sod it. May as well.

AARON

I doubt anyone will notice that I’m wearing the same clothes I wore last Friday. I have different boxers on, but that fact is between whatever God there might be and me.

Rex waves me over to the tyre swings. The park is heaving tonight. Almost everyone from our year is here, even the ones I thought would be snubbed. I sit down on the soft rubber of one of the swings and put down a six-pack. There’s a chorus of appreciative grunts from the basketball lads and Tyrone slaps me on the back and tells me I’m not bad. Again.

I take one of my own cans and crack it open. Drinking is the fastest way to fit in without having to talk to anyone – and one beer won’t do any harm, especially not this piss water I’ve bought.

Conversations rise up around me and the group starts to unfurl as boys pair off with girls. I scan the rest of the crowd, looking for familiar faces, and I’m surprised to see Anjela Ojo standing with some of the girls from our Spanish class, including Nicole – one of Marcy’s friends. Since Anj is here, I look for Gideon, but he’s not around. Neither is Fletch. Not that I’m surprised. Best to sit tonight out whilst the gossip’s hot. I don’t for a second believe what I’ve heard about the school showers, but I don’t think anyone’s interested in the truth – gossip’s about the
possibility
of truth.

Note to self: stay the right side of Hannah Sheppard.

That’s when I notice that she and Katie have arrived.

HANNAH

We’ve been here all of five minutes when Katie sees Rex. I count to ten and before I’ve reached seven, she’s left me standing by the roundabout whilst she heads for the swings. Rex is there talking to Aaron Tyler. It’s weird how he’s hanging round with the basketball lot – I would’ve thought he’d be above all this clique shit.

Someone bumps into me as I’m staring off into space and half my drink splashes out of the bottle.

“Bollocks!” It’s Tyrone, jumping back from the fizz that sprays out over our shoes.

I stay where I am, but then, my shoes cost less than his. I’m not bothered about it to be honest, but it’s a good starting point.

“You gonna make up for that?” I say quietly, meeting his eyes. Big, dark eyes and beautiful lips. Lips that feel as beautiful as they look.

Tyrone must be thinking the same thing, judging by the way his eyes dart down to my mouth. I can tell he’s thinking about the things we did in my bedroom on Tuesday. So am I.

“Name a time and a place,” he murmurs.

I want him here and now, but…

“Tyrone!”

Marcy struts over, her supposedly perfect face set in a scowl. I’m going to enjoy this.

“Hey, sexy.” Tyrone turns away from me to try a low purr on his girlfriend, but she’s as deaf to this as I would be. Tyrone can charm when he wants to, but it’s usually with something more persuasive than his voice.

“I thought you were going to talk to Rex about that thing?”

Tyrone looks baffled. “You what?”

“Never mind.” Marcy shoots me a glare. “Hi, Spanner. Going for the Page Three look tonight?”

I glance down and realize my bra’s peeping out above my top. And my cleavage is popping out above my bra.

“If you’ve got it, flaunt it.” I shrug. “Or flaunt it anyway, even if you haven’t – that’s your motto, isn’t it?”

But Marcy simply smiles. “People pay me to flaunt what I ‘haven’t got’. Let me know when you finally get paid for doing whatever it is you think people want you for.” She turns away, a perfect dismissal, and lays a hand on Tyrone’s arm, leading him away from me.

I hate how Marcy thinks she’s so much better than everyone else here. I hate that she thinks she’s better than
me
. But I take a deep breath and then I walk away, because, you know, I can. Because I have so shagged her boyfriend.

AARON

My first sip of tepid beer tastes like self-hatred. I surreptitiously pour some out, listening to the conversation next to me between Katie and Rex, who seem to have forgotten about his never-present girlfriend.

“… not a regulation-length skirt, Katie Coleman.” Rex is buzzing. “Skirt” was almost “shirt”. Although her shirt is hardly respectable. It’s only done up with one button and that button should have been higher.

“Are you telling me off?”

“I’m just stating facts. Didn’t say I didn’t like those facts.”

Factsh
.

“Show me where a regulation skirt should be.”

“There.” I see him bend down and brush her knee. “Not here.” I can guess where he’s touching her leg now.

“I’m thinking your hand shouldn’t be here either.”

“Where should it be?”

This conversation is torture. I do not want to sit here whilst Rex flirts with the girl who by all accounts – including hers – gave his friend an “epic” hand job behind the toilets last week. It’s hard not to speculate as to whether “epic” refers to duration or quality – something I’m certain Rex has thought about a lot.

The bin’s only a short walk away and I dispose of my beer. It’s only after I’ve done this that I realize it made a good shield from the world. Now I feel naked and aimless.

There is no one I want to talk to. Tyrone is arguing with Marcy, Rex has his hands full with Katie and the only other guys I know are daring each other to drink a cocktail of cider, Guinness, schnapps and cooking sherry from a plastic cup. There’s always the girls from Spanish, but I’ve only ever asked them about homework before now and that’s not going to cut it.

I never knew talking to people took practice, but it seems I’ve gone so long without any that I’ve forgotten how.

HANNAH

I’m feeling reckless.

AARON

“Hey, Ty.”

I turn sharply at the name of the person I used to be, but it’s only Hannah. There’s an almost-empty bottle in her hand and she’s smiling a slow smile. At me.

She must be drunk.

“Everyone calls me Aaron,” I say.

“Does everyone?” She raises an eyebrow. It’s a well-practised look. Mark Grey notices us and turns to the guy next to him and nods in our direction.

“So.” I struggle for a moment. “What are you up to this weekend?”

Hannah blinks and I notice her lashes are clogged by too much mascara. “I don’t know. You?”

“I have plans to write the great American novel.” This throws her, but only for a second.

“Good luck with that, being a Brit. I’m thinking those Yanks might not go for your greatness.”

She’s sharper than Tyrone. Although that’s not saying much. The guy’s a blunt tool in every sense – he might be the hamster’s cheeks around here, but a week of being in favour has left me practically comatose. Tyrone talks about himself all the time, even boasting about Marcy only serves to make him look better. Everyone else’s stories and opinions boomerang back to him; he’s done everything, or knows someone better than us who has. Only, when I listen, it seems he’s got absolutely nothing to say.

“Bored?” Hannah says, reading my mind.

“That’s an understatement,” I mutter, then worry that I’ve offended her since she comes here every week. “Maybe it’s just me. I’m not in the mood.”

“It’s not just you. This place is better in the daytime, when the swings are for kids and the roundabout isn’t weighed down with drunken basketball morons.”

I look at her and wonder what she’d be doing here during daylight hours. She reads my mind once more.

“I come here with my sister a lot.” Her face lightens underneath all the make-up. “She’s five.”

“What’s her name?” I ask, surprised to find I’m curious about someone else’s life. It’s been a while since that happened.

“Lola – although we all call her Lolly,” Hannah says, then glances down at her bottle and chucks it in the bin. “Let’s get out of here.”

HANNAH

This isn’t really how I thought it would go. I’d imagined less talking and more flirting. The two are usually the same when it comes to boys, but this one’s different.

I don’t want different, though. I want sex.

It doesn’t have to be him, but he’s new and I want to be the one that gets there first. I don’t like the idea of Katie setting her sights on him once she’s chewed Rex up and spat him out. Katie and me are different. I like boys. A lot. They’re fun to hang out with, they can open jars without looking constipated, they have short hair and they smell good (mostly). Katie does not like boys. She
dis
likes them. When she’s after a boy it’s about power. Katie is about the hunt and the kill. She’s a predator. Me? I’m a tourist. Pick the destination, plan the holiday, check out the best bits, then leave. Thanks for the memories and all that. I’ve not always travelled so far, but once you’ve been there and enjoyed it, it’s a lot easier to make the journey again. And again. My tourism might look like Katie’s shoot to kill, but if I were a boy, I’d rather shag someone who liked me rather than someone who didn’t.