Tragic Love (33 page)

I turn my focus back to Presley and kiss her lips. They taste like blood and cherries. I take one of my hands from the blood soaked shirt and pull the folded piece of paper from my pocket while being careful to keep the other hand pressing into her wound. She just smiles and stares at me as I shake it open with my free hand, putting bloody fingerprints on the white paper. Then I begin to read.

Dear Presley,

Today I sit and write this letter not knowing what the future will hold for us. A day ago, I left you in Memphis still uncertain of our future as a couple, but as I write these words the only emotion I can feel and have ever felt is love.

I love you, Presley. I’m not angry or sad or disappointed. After everything that’s happened to us, the only thing I can feel is love. You are my love, my life. I’ve often said to myself you’re the very reason I breathe, every gasp of air that fills my lungs is put there because of you. Nothing reassured this more than the night I found you in the bathroom. When you lost your breath, I lost mine. I can’t live without you. I need you to breathe. I need your love to pump the blood through my heart, fill my lungs with air and keep me putting one foot in front of the other.

Without you, I am nothing. Without you, I will die. So please, baby, when you think of me, think of us, think of love. Think of life.

I love you. I love the very deepest part of you, the part no one has ever had the privilege of seeing. I love every smile you spread across your face, every brush of your lips and every sparkle in your eyes.

Love. It’s a powerful emotion and can bring the strongest person to their knees, completely overtaken by it. The moment I met you, I collapsed at your feet, willing to do everything and be anything you’ve ever wanted.

I beg of you to see your worth. I beg you to live. Choose to live and choose to love. It won’t only be you that will survive, it will be us.

When I finished reading, Presley’s eyes open slightly and she smiles. The sounds of the sirens are getting closer, and I lean in to kiss her lips. “Hang on, baby. They’re almost here.”

She hasn’t stopped smiling since I came to her side. Her face is calm and at peace, doesn’t appear to be in pain at all. I simply need her to hang on a little bit longer. I need her to be with me. I can’t live in this world without her. Mia needs a mother; she needs Presley as her mother. Presley’s hand rises to my face and she holds my cheek in her palm. I let go of the tears, allowing them to soak my face. The pad of her thumb lightly sweeps back and forth across my cheek. The sickening feeling in my head is telling me this is her final good bye, but my hope—my heart—refuses to let her go. Her skin is warm and stained with blood. I lean down and kiss her lips again.

A small sparkle dims in her eyes and she whispers, “I chose love, Drake.” She releases a gasp of air, her eyes roll slightly to the side and her body falls limp into the concrete.

I kiss her lips again, hoping this is a fucked up fairytale and she will come back to life. However, this isn’t a fairytale. This is real life. And real life always has a way of fucking everything up.

I pull Presley in my arms and hold her lifeless body against my chest. Sobs break from my throat and pain of unimaginable proportions takes over my body. My limbs are shaking and my eyes are swollen as my own life is being sucked from my body. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I can’t do anything, but feel the excruciating pain coursing through my body. I’m dying. This is what it truly feels like to die. Nothing else can explain why I’m filled with all this unbearable pain.

Reggie kneels down to Darcie’s side as she leans against his strong body and sobs.

The air is warm, but I only feel the chills run down my spine. Nothing is making sense right now. This is not how our story is supposed to end. Presley and I are not supposed to be without each other. From the moment we looked into each other’s eyes, it’s only ever been us. Together is the only way I know how to be.

What kind of father will I be if the better half of me is dead? I will be worthless—a walking shell. Mia deserves more. She deserves someone who can face adversity and overcome the pain then come out strong on the other side.

I look over to Reggie and Darcie holding each other. Here are the two people who’ve overcome so much in their life, both together and alone, and are still strong enough to stand.  They’ve been abandoned, beaten and suffocated from life’s cruel jokes, but they’re still standing. They kept one foot in front of the other never giving up on life—holding on tightly to its possibilities.

I’ve always strived to be just like Reggie. Every day, I would try and live my life just as he does—be the man he is. Now though, as I stare at him comforting Darcie, I realize I will never be anything like Reggie.

The moment Presley died I knew I was not strong enough to survive her death. As painful as it would be if something were to happen to Darcie, Reggie would be strong enough to survive. The moment Presley’s life left hers the desire of mine went right along with it.

I look down and lying beside the pool of Presley’s blood is Carter’s gun. The gun he dropped right after he shot her and ran into the night. Here is the gun that took everything I’ve ever lived for from my life. It’s this gun that will reunite Presley and I back together.

I glance to it and back up to Reggie. He’s consoling Darcie tightly in his arms. Quickly as possible, I pick up the gun and slip it between Presley’s and my body. The steel is hard and unforgiving against my stomach. I pull my knee up, planting one foot to the ground readying my legs to stand.

I look to Reggie and say, “Take care of Mia. Whatever she needs, you need to give it to her. Keep her safe.”

I stand with Presley’s limp body in my arms and walk to the backyard. My head is spinning and my heart is besieged with grief. I can’t go on living another second without her. I refuse to breathe if she’s no longer breathing. The gate creeks as I walk to the back of the property—Presley’s favorite spot by the wildflowers and oak trees. I kneel to the ground, still holding her in my lap.

Leaning over, I whisper, “I love you, baby.” I kiss her again, feeling the love I carry for her inside myself.

I look to the Heavens and know she is there waiting for me. I won’t spend the rest of my days walking through life without her. It may be the pussy way out, but I know with every fiber of my being I will never move past her death. After all, I’m dead now, too. My soul has been detached and lives with hers.

I grab the gun from between our bodies and pull the hammer back until I hear a click. Looking down at the love of my life, I ready myself to join her in the afterlife. One final kiss to her lips, I put the gun under my chin then whisper, “I’ll see you soon, baby.”

Tragic Love Playlist

1.
       
“The Story” by Thirty Seconds to Mars

2.
      
“Alibi” by Thirty Seconds to Mars

3.
      
“The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” by Roberta Flack

4.
     
“Demons” by Imagine Dragons

5.
      
“Broken” by Seether and Amy Lee

6.
      
“Right Here” by Staind

7.
      
“Wicked Games” by Stone Sour

8.
     
“You Ain’t Alone” By Alabama Shakes

9.
      
“Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails

10.
   
“Sex on Fire” by Kings of Leon

11.
    
“Sweet Child of Mine” by Guns N’ Roses

12.
   
“Hospital” by Lydia

13.
   
“Save Me” by Shinedown

14.
  
“Feeling Good” by Nina Simone

15.
   
“Back Together” by Citizen Cope

16.
   
“Best of You” by Foo Fighters

17.
   
“Use Somebody” by Kings of Leon

18.
  
“Gloomy Sunday” by Billie Holiday

19.
   
“Goodbye My Lover” by James Blunt

20.
  
“Stay Awake” by Lydia

21.
   
“A Modern Myth” by Thirty Seconds to Mars

22.
  
“In the End” by Linkin Park

23.
  
“Back to Good” by Matchbox 20

24.
 
“By Your Side” by Sade

25.
  
“Comfortably Numb” by Staind

26.
  
“Drugs Don’t Work” by The Verve

27.
  
“Hear You Me” by Jimmy Eat World

28.
 
“No Ordinary Love” by Sade

29.
  
“Pain” by Three Days Grace

30.
  
“Under the Bridge” by Red Hot Chili Peppers

Acknowledgements

Writing Drake and Presley’s story had me overjoyed, frustrated and emotionally drained at times, but it wouldn’t be the story it is today without me immersing myself into every emotion Drake and Presley experienced. With that, I would like to thank the two people who had to live with me every day, my husband and son. Their patience, support, and encouragement were always there when I needed it the most.

Thank you to the most amazing group of friends and family a girl could ask for. All of you have given me so much love; I often have to pinch myself to know this is really happening. Thank you for trudging with me every step of the way and listening to me ramble incessantly about writing.

I must share another great, big thank you to my editors, Alizon Duckwall and Kristin Campbell of C&D Editing. I consider myself extremely lucky to have found you and I know it would be impossible to pour over a manuscript without both of you in my corner cheering me on.

Thank you Robin Ludwig of Robin Ludwig Designs, who’s my cover designer extraordinaire. Thank you to all the bloggers who beta read
Tragic Love
and fell in love with the story as much as I did. Megan Morrell of Love, Literature, Art, and Reason, Peggy Warren of LeBook Squirrel, Roni Guzman of Roni Reviews, and Kady Deaton of Bookworm Beauties. Lastly, thank you to Cindi Anderson and Michele Wigert for taking the time out of your busy schedule to read Drake and Presley’s story.

This absolutely would not be possible without all the fans that purchased my debut novel,
Scarred Love.
I am graciously overwhelmed with all your words of compassion and appreciation; it makes writing every day worthwhile knowing how much my words mean to you. I only hope to grow as a writer and bring you many more stories filled with love, desire, heartache and inspiration. Thank you all very much!