Tokyo Hearts: A Japanese Love Story (3 page)

‘I understand, Takashi. Neither of us has brothers nor sisters, so I suppose the duties fall more heavily on us where family is concerned,’ said Haruka.

‘It’s difficult growing up without a brother or sister,’ Takashi continued. He’d never told Haruka about his brother, who’d passed away when he was a lot younger. ‘One day I’d like to have at least two children with the right woman – someone who is kind and caring.’ He placed his hand over hers. ‘Haruka, you’re so special,’ he started to say. ‘I hope that you feel the same way about me.’

Haruka looked surprised and pulled gently away from him, and he regretted having said those words. ‘I like you too, Takashi, but….’

Haruka hesitated, so Takashi couldn’t help finishing her sentence. ‘There’s someone else?’ He started to ask, with a quiet hope that she would correct him, but she didn’t.

Oh no, Takashi thought to himself. He’d been too direct and now he’d embarrassed her. He thought that he should really change the subject. But he couldn’t help himself and he continued to push Haruka for a more definitive answer. ‘So … there’s no one else, is there?’ he asked her, realising how pathetic he must have sounded and wishing that he’d never said anything.

Haruka’s face went bright red. Takashi scratched his left ear furiously. She shifted in her seat uncomfortably. He wondered why she didn’t reassure him.

Instead, she awkwardly changed the direction of this conversation with a statement that surprised him.

‘I think you’d like to go out with me because you pity me,’ she said to him abruptly.

‘Of course not, why would I pity you?’ he put to her with some indignation.

‘Because I had to look after my father and I couldn’t continue at university,’ she said, with sadness and also with humiliation.

Takashi was confused, but he thought that this was a good time to tell Haruka about his brother. He had to explain this because he certainly didn’t want her to think that he felt this way about her because of pity.

‘I don’t pity you at all,’ Takashi tried to assure her. ‘I understand what you went through because I had a similar situation with my older brother.’

‘An older brother!’ she exclaimed. ‘I’ve never heard you speak about him. I thought that you were an only child.’ Haruka leaned forward and showed Takashi that she was listening intently.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so difficult for him to explain to her about what had happened to his brother Yasuo, Takashi thought to himself.

‘I had an older brother, but he passed away. He would have been twenty-six this year if he was still with us. He was sick for quite a long time. He had Hodgkin’s disease,’ he told her.

‘Oh, I’m so sorry, Takashi,’ she replied. ‘I didn’t know.’

‘It’s okay. I just know that it’s difficult to look after a sick family member. Yasuo – that was his name – went through a lot before he died. He lost a lot of weight, his lymph nodes were enlarged, his whole body was itchy all the time and then he went through radiation therapy and chemotherapy. At one point, we thought he was going to recover, but the disease claimed him and he passed away when he was fifteen. I didn’t understand a lot at the time. I was only ten, but it was difficult,’ Takashi told her.

Haruka looked at him with compassion. He knew that she would understand. ‘Thanks for telling me this. It’s obviously difficult for you to talk about,’ she said.

Haruka’s beautiful eyes that looked at him now so kindly somehow helped him feel better about his brother.

‘I have some news to share with you, Takashi. The English conversation school that I work for has a management position available and they think that I should apply. It would mean I would have a lot more responsibilities, which I’ve always wanted, and my salary would be considerably better. There’s a catch though, Takashi. The job is in Kyoto,’ Haruka said to him. She watched his face lose its happy expression and the colour in his cheeks disappear.

‘You must be really excited,’ Takashi said quietly, looking down at his shoes. He tried to balance his feelings of upset with how he knew she needed him to share in her excitement. He tried to force out a smile, but Haruka caught his disappointment and placed her hand on his knee.

‘I know you work really hard and you love your job, so you deserve it,’ Takashi said to her without a lot of enthusiasm. He really wanted to tell her not to take the job, but he knew it would be difficult to convince her to stay in Tokyo if this was something she really wanted. ‘Isn’t there a management position in Tokyo that you could take? Your company has branches in every major town here,’ said Takashi.

‘I’m afraid not,’ said Haruka.

‘Well, when would you have to start if you took the job in Kyoto? Is it a permanent position?’ he asked.

‘I’m not sure when they’d like me to start or whether it would be permanent,’ said Haruka. ‘My manager talked with me a couple of days ago about the job and I know that she went to quite a lot of trouble to get me an interview with the manager in Kyoto. She has given me a couple of weeks to think about it and talk it over with my family, as she knows I still live at home.’

Takashi was lost for words. Just when they’d started to meet up again and he could see their relationship advancing to the next stage; it looked like he was going to lose his chance of getting closer to his dream woman. He looked at his watch and realised that they’d been sitting there for over ninety minutes. It was funny how the time always flew by when he was with Haruka.

It was just after eight p.m. and Takashi started to feel a chill, sitting in this air-conditioned café. He looked around and the faces had changed around him; the younger groups that had surrounded him an hour before had been replaced by an older, more sophisticated set. Knowing that Haruka had a long journey ahead of her on the Yokosuka line back to
fune, he suggested that they should head home. He helped her into her jacket and they headed out into the street.

The rain had stopped and the air did not feel as heavy and dense now. Takashi suggested that they walk past the shops to Harajuku station. He walked as closely as he could to Haruka without their hands touching. It felt like he was moving in slow motion. Whether it was the weather or being with Haruka, he wasn’t quite sure. It just felt like he was walking in a trance. He would have liked to hold her hand, but she was clutching her handbag on her right shoulder and carrying the Yohji Yamamoto shopping bag on her left wrist. It would have looked awkward and unnatural for him to even try and reach out to her.

Every time a breeze lifted, Takashi inhaled deeply, but not noticeably, trying to catch the floral scent of Haruka’s perfume. He wanted to remember that sweet smell of jasmine over the next few days until they would meet again the following week.

They reached Harajuku train station. Haruka had a train pass, but waited as Takashi bought a ticket from the machine. He turned and thanked her for meeting him and told her he was already looking forward to the following week and she gave him the sweetest smile. Haruka turned and disappeared through the barrier into the crowd of commuters looking for her platform.

Often it is quite obvious to others when you’re in love. Your complexion is clearer and your face lights up. A lot of people looked at Takashi as he stood watching Haruka leave that day. A lot of people looked at him and smiled.

But it wasn’t long before Takashi’s dreamlike state went to pieces after he boarded his train. Reality set in and he realised Haruka had never answered his question properly when he’d asked her if there was someone else she was interested in. Not knowing the answer to this hurt, and he didn’t like the feelings of jealousy welling up inside of him. On top of this, the news of Haruka applying for a job in Kyoto meant he was moving backwards instead of forwards, and all his plans for the dream life that he’d envisioned were no longer a foreseeable reality. He vowed to himself that he would make every effort the following Thursday to rectify the situation and show Haruka how much he cared about her.

He carries two faces under one hood

Haruka changed trains at Shinagawa and took the Yokosuka line for
fune. She was pleased to find a seat next to the door after stepping into the carriage. A much older lady with a lined face, hinting of a long life full of a thousand stories, sat down next to her. Haruka had a lengthy journey ahead of her – it was at least an hour before she would arrive at her stop. She sat with her knees touching and her heels together and smoothed out her skirt, resting her handbag on her lap. Six years of ballet lessons until the age of twelve had taught her good posture. She was proud of the fact that she’d trained her body to sit, stand, walk and lie in positions that would ensure she’d never suffer from back pain.

Haruka sighed. She was tired but content. It had been a lovely evening. She shut her eyes, wanting to avoid the scene in front of her. The heavy humidity of the day had taken its toll on the surrounding passengers, and the air was thick and stifling.

Tightening the clutch on her handbag and shuffling a little in her seat in order not to appear asleep, she thought about her time with Takashi. In her mind, she saw his kind face – his strong jaw set below his firm mouth. She smiled as she pictured his gentle dark brown eyes and small, flat nose. His square shoulders against his lean, sinewy body. Haruka liked the way his cheeks flushed when he felt uncomfortable and the way he would scratch his left ear when he was nervous. She also thought his bushy sideburns were very sexy. Every time Haruka met up with Takashi, she enjoyed his company. They certainly had a lot in common. They were both interested in studying Marketing. They shared a love of all things Japanese, whether it was cultural, historical, religious or otherwise. They both came from loving families and had similar aspirations for the future. They both loved the idea of travelling and learning about other cultures and Takashi lacked the selfishness and arrogance of so many other boys his age.

Haruka really thought of herself as very lucky to have a friend like Takashi. They’d met for the first time at the beginning of term in her first and only year at university. He could have chosen to sit next to any number of girls, yet he’d taken a seat beside Haruka on the first day. From then on, they’d become great friends. The fact that their relationship was purely platonic helped create within her a respect for him that she did not know could exist until recently.

Takashi had been and always would be a great friend for Haruka, a soothing constant in her life. Able to read between the lines, he’d always been there to support her when she needed him most. She’d realised this two years ago when her father had a heart attack. He’d needed a total commitment from both her mother and herself to nurse him back to good health over a period of eighteen months.

Every week, Haruka would receive a call from Takashi. Her family were just starting to reach the point of despair over her father’s condition, when one day, after speaking to Takashi, she found herself softly singing a tune when she walked into the room where her father was lying. As she set his lunch tray down next to his bed, her father smiled and managed with her help to sit up. Every day after that, she would sing a tune as she fussed over her father and made his room more comfortable, and every day her father got a little bit better.

Without Takashi’s weekly calls, Haruka wouldn’t have had the energy within her to get through those days or even carry one note of a song.

In the last couple of years, she’d been out with a series of boys, but most often for just one or two dates. She’d definitely had fun at the time. Yet looking back, she believed that she’d just been deceived into thinking she was special. Some boys would take her out, but only to impress their friends; others would flirt outrageously with her but did not ask her out – maybe having heard fallacious gossip spread by simple minds.

Takashi was very different. He was always kind and wanted to spend time with her for all the right reasons. She’d wanted to take their relationship further, but when the opportunity presented itself, she’d always recoiled at the thought that she might lose a close friend. She couldn’t risk jeopardising the only relationship that had ever meant something significant to her. Thus, over the last few years Haruka hadn’t dated anyone seriously.