Tipping the Velvet (21 page)

it all, and so saw Father and Davy, at the station, a moment or two before they saw me. Even they looked different - I 173

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felt a rush of aching love and strange regret, to think it -

had soaked it. The stairs we climbed were dark and narrow, Father a little older, a little shrunken, somehow; Davy the room into which I finally emerged smaller and more slightly stouter, and redder in the face.

cramped than I could have believed possible. Worst of all When they saw me, stepping from the train on to the the street, the stairs, the room, the people in it, all reeked of platform, they came running.

fish! It was a stink that was as familiar to me as the scent of

'Nance! My dearest girl . . . !' This was Father. We my own armpit; but I was startled, now, to think that I had embraced - awkwardly, for I had all my parcels with me, ever lived in it and thought it ordinary.

and a hat upon my head with a veil around it. One of the My surprise, I hope, was lost in the general bustle of my parcels fell to the ground and he bent to retrieve it, then arrival. I had expected Mother and Alice to be waiting for hurried to help me with the others. Davy, meanwhile, took me; they were - but so were half-a-dozen other people, each my hand, then kissed my cheek through the mesh of my one of whom exclaimed when I appeared, and stepped veil.

forward (except for Alice) to embrace me. I had to smile

'Just look at you,' he said. 'All dressed up to the ninety-and submit to being squeezed and patted until I grew quite nines! Quite the lady, ain't she, Pa?' His cheek grew redder breathless.

than ever.

Rhoda - still my brother's sweetheart - was there, looking Father straightened, and looked me over, then gave a wide perter than ever; Aunty Ro, too, had come along to smile that seemed to pull, somewhat, at the corners of his welcome me back, together with her son, my cousin eyes.

George, and her daughter, Liza, and Liza's baby - except

'Very smart,' he said. 'Your mother won't know you, hardly.'

that the baby was not a baby at all now, but a little boy in I did indeed, I suppose, look a little dressy, but I had not frills. Liza, I saw, was large with child again; I had been thought about it until that moment. All my clothes were told this in a letter, I believe, but had forgotten it.

good ones, these days, for I had long ago got rid of those I took off my hat once all the welcomes had been said, and girlish hand-me-downs with which I'd first left home. I had my heavy coat with it. Mother looked me up and down. She only wanted, that morning, to look nice. Now I felt self-said, 'My goodness, Nance, how tall and fine you look! I do conscious.

believe you're taller, almost, than your Father.' I did feel tall The self-consciousness did not diminish as I walked, on in that tiny, overcrowded room; but I could hardly, I Father's arm, the little distance to our oyster-shop. The thought, have really grown. It was just that I was standing house, I thought, was shabbier than ever. The weather-rather straighter. I gazed around - a little proud, despite my boards above the shop showed more wood, now, than blue awkwardness - and found a seat, and tea was brought. I still paint; and the sign - Astley's Oysters, the Best in Kent -

had not exchanged a word with Alice.

hung on one hinge, and was cracked where the rainwater 175

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Father asked after Kitty, and I said that she was well.

pistol that at any second might go off; but I dutifully took Where was she playing now? they asked me. Where were his fingers in my own, and squeezed them. Of course, he we living? Rosina said, there had been talk that I had gone snatched his hand away at once, and only wailed the louder.

upon the stage myself -? And at that I only answered, that I Everybody laughed. George caught the baby up and swung did 'sometimes join Kitty in the act'.

him high, so that his hair brushed the cracked and yellowed

'Well, fancy that!'

plaster of the ceiling. 'Who's a little soldier, then?' he cried.

I cannot say what squeamishness still made me keep the I looked at Alice, and she glanced away.

fact of my success from them. It was, I think, because the The baby quietened at last; the room grew warmer. I saw act - as I have said - was so entangled with my love: I could Rhoda lean towards my brother and whisper, and when he not bear to have them pry at it, or frown at it, or pass the nodded, she coughed. She said, 'Nancy, you won't have idea of it on to others, carelessly . . .

heard our bit of good news.' I looked at her properly. She It was, I suppose now, a kind of priggishaess; indeed, I had her jacket off and her feet, I noticed, were bare but for a hadn't been amongst them more than half-an-hour before pair of woollen stockings. She seemed very much at home.

George, my cousin, gave a cry: 'What's happened to your Now she held out her hand. On the second finger from the accent, Nance? You've gone all lardy-dah.' I looked at him left there was a narrow strip of gold, with a tiny stone -

in real surprise, then listened hard next time I spoke. It was sapphire or diamond, it was too small to tell — mounted quite true, my voice had changed. I was not posh, as he had upon it. An engagement ring.

claimed, but there is a certain lilt that theatre people have -

I blushed - I don't know why - and forced a smile. 'Oh, a rather odd, unpredictable mixture of all the accents of the Rhoda! I am glad. Davy! How nice for you.' I was not glad; halls, from coster-man to lion comique; and I, all it was not nice; the thought of having Rhoda as a sister-in-unknowingly, had I picked it up. I sounded rather like Kitty law -of having any kind of sister-in-law! - was peculiarly

- occasionally, even like Walter. I had never realised it till horrible. But I must have sounded pleased enough, for they now.

both grew pink and smug.

We drank our tea; there was a lot of fussing over the little Then Aunt Rosina nodded towards my own hand. 'No sign boy. Someone handed him to me for me to nurse - when I of a ring on your finger yet, Nance?'

took him, however, he cried.

I saw Alice shift in her seat, and shook my head: 'Not yet,

'Oh dear!' said his mother, tickling him. 'Your Aunty Nance no.' Father opened his mouth to speak; I could not bear, will think you a real cry-baby.' She took him from me, then however, for the conversation to run down that particular held him near my face: 'Shake hands!' She seized his arm road. I got up, and retrieved my bags. 'I've bought you all and waved it. 'Shake hands with Aunty Nancy, like a proper some things,' I said, 'from London.'

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There were murmurs and little interested 'Oh's at that.

saw that she had thought the same. 'Really, Nance ..." she Mother said I shouldn't have, but reached for her spectacles said; and her words were almost a reproof.

and looked expectant. I went to my Aunt, first, and handed There were murmurs, now, from all around the room, as her a bag full of packages. These are for Uncle Joe, and people compared presents. Aunt Rosina held up a pair of Mike and the girls. This is for you.' George next: I had garnet earrings, and blinked at them. George fingered his bought him a silver hip-flask. Then Liza, and the baby ... I flask, and asked me, rather nervously, whether I had won went all around the crowded room, and finished up at Alice: the sweepstakes. Only Rhoda and my brother seemed really

'This is for you.' Her parcel - a hat, in a hat box - was the pleased with their gifts. For Davy I had bought a pair of biggest. She took it from me with the smallest, straightest, shoes, hand-sewn and soft as butter: now he rapped on their stiffest smile you ever saw, and began slowly and self-soles with his knuckles, then stepped over the discarded consciously to pull at its ribbons.

paper and strings to kiss my cheek. 'What a little star you Now everybody had a gift but me. I sat and watched as they are,' he said. 'I shall save these for my wedding-day and be tore at their packages, chewing at my knuckle and smiling the best-shod bloke in Kent.'

into my hand. One by one the objects appeared, and were His words seemed to remind everybody of their manners, turned and examined in the late morning light. The room and suddenly they all rose to kiss and thank me, and there grew quite hushed.

was a general, embarrassed shuffling. I looked over their

'My word, Nancy,' said Father at last, 'you have done us shoulders to where Alice still sat. She had taken the lid proud.' I had bought him a watch-guard, thick and bright as from the hat-box, but had not removed the hat, only held it, the one that Walter wore; he held it in his hand, and it listlessly, in her fingers. Davy saw me looking. 'What've seemed brighter than ever against the red of his palm, the you got, Sis?' he called. When she reluctantly tipped up the faded wool of his jacket. He laughed: 'I shall look quite the box for him to see, he whistled: 'What a stunner! With an thing in this, now, shan't I?' The laugh, however, didn't ostrich feather and a diamond on the brim. Aren't you going sound quite natural.

to try it on?'

I looked at Mother. She had a silver-backed brush and a

'I will, later,' she said.

hand-glass to match: they sat in their wrappers, in her lap, Now everyone turned to look at her.

as if she were afraid to pick them up. I thought at once -

'Oh, what a beautiful hat!' said Rhoda. 'And what a lovely what had never occurred to me in Oxford Street - how shade of red. What shade of red do they call that, Nancy?'

queer they would look beside her cheap coloured perfume

'"Buffalo Red",' I said miserably; I could not have felt more bottles, her jar of cold-cream, on her old chest of drawers of a fool if I had given them all a pile of trash - cotton-reels with its chipped glass handles. She caught my eye, and I and candle-stubs, toothpicks and pebbles - wrapped up in tissue and ribbons and silks.

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Rhoda did not notice. '"Buffalo Red"!' she cried. 'Oh, Alice, their usual habits, and hiding themselves behind the Sunday do be a sport and give us a look at it on you.'

papers, would put me at my ease.

'Yes, go on, Alice.' This was Rosina. 'Nancy'll think you We had our dinner, then took a walk to Tankerton and sat don't like it, otherwise.'

pitching stones into the water. The sea was grey as lead; far

'It's all right,' I said quickly. 'Let her try it later.' But George out upon it there were a couple of yawls and barges - bound had jumped over to Alice's chair, taken the hat from her, for London, where Kitty was. What was she doing now, I and now tried to set it on her head.

wondered, apart from missing me?

'Come on,' he said. 'I want to see if you look like a buffalo Later there was tea, after which more cousins appeared, to in it.'

thank me for their presents and to beg for a look at my

'Leave off!' said Alice. There was a scuffle. I closed my handsome new clothes. We sat upstairs and I showed them eyes, heard the rip of stitches, and when next I looked my my frocks, my hat with the veil upon it, and my painted sister had the bonnet in her lap, and George had half the stockings. There was more talk about young men. Alice, I ostrich feather in his fingers. The chip of diamante had learned - they were surprised she hadn't told me this - had flown off, and been lost.

finished with Tony Reeves from the Palace, and had started Poor George began to gulp and cough; Rosina said sternly stepping out with a boy who worked at the shipyard; he was that she hoped that he was satisfied. Liza took the hat and much taller, they said, than Tony, but not as funny. Freddy, the feather and tried awkwardly to reunite them: 'Such a my old beau, was also seeing a new girl, and seemed likely pretty bonnet,' she said. Alice started to sniff, then placed to marry her . . . When they asked me, again, if I was her hands before her eyes and hurried from the room.

courting, I said I wasn't; but I hesitated over it, and they Father said, 'Well, now!'; he still held his gleaming watch-smiled. There was someone, they pressed - and just to keep guard. Mother looked at me and shook her head. 'What a them quiet, I nodded.

shame,’ she said. 'Oh Nancy, what a shame!'

'There was a boy. He played the cornet in an orchestra ..." I In time Rosina and the cousins left, and Alice, still rather looked away, as if it made me sad to think of him, and felt swollen-eyed, went out to call on a friend. I took my bags them exchange significant glances.

up to my old room, and washed my face; when I came And what about Miss Butler? Surely she had a young man?

down a little later, the presents I had brought had all been

'Yes, a man named Walter . ..' I hated myself for saying it -

tidied out of sight, and Rhoda was helping Mother peel and but thought, too, How Kitty will laugh at this, when I tell boil potatoes in the kitchen. They shooed me away when I her!

offered to join them, and said I was a guest; and so I sat I had forgotten what early hours they all kept. The cousins with Father and Davy - who seemed to think that keeping to left at ten; at half-past everybody else started yawning.

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night. Father rose and stretched, then came to me and put I took off the rest of my clothes, then pulled my night-gown his arm about my neck. 'It's been a treat for us, Nance, to over my head - then remembered my hair. I could not sleep have you home again - and you grown into such a beauty!'

with the plait still fastened to me. I glanced towards Alice Then Mother smiled at me - the first real smile that I had again - she had paled at my words, but still watched - then seen upon her face that day; and I knew then how really pulled at the hairpins until the chignon came loose. From glad I was to be at home, amongst them all.

the corner of my eye I saw her mouth fall open. I ran my But the gladness didn't last long. In a few minutes more I fingers through my flat, shorn locks; the action - and the said my own good-nights, and found myself alone, at last, cigarette that I had just smoked - made me feel wonderfully with Alice, in our - her - room. She was in bed, but the calm.