This Heart of Mine (9 page)

Phoenix hadn’t mentioned that she ran a business. Why had she kept that to herself?

He had no idea, but the sight of her little bracelet factory made him smile. What she’d accomplished was impressive, considering everything she’d been up against.

He wondered where she sold them...

Suddenly her door banged against the wall, hard enough to rattle the whole place. She was up.

Assuming she was ready to eat, he ducked out of her workroom.

Then he stopped dead in his tracks.

8

P
hoenix was so disoriented. She was fairly certain the doctor had given her too much pain medication. It should’ve worn off by now, she told herself. She couldn’t even walk straight. She had to use the walls to steady herself and feel her way along, since her eyelids were so heavy.

Or maybe some of it was the aftereffects of her tumble. She’d landed really hard...

She was staggering in her attempt to reach the bathroom in the hall, since the one in her bedroom didn’t work—until she heard a choked sound. Then she froze, shoved her hair out of her face and looked up to see Riley standing, big as life, in the doorway of her office less than three feet away, his jaw practically on the floor.

She screamed before she could stop herself, and the grogginess evaporated. She didn’t have a stitch of clothing on! Even the towel she’d wrapped around her head was in the bed somewhere.

Whipping around, she tried to dart back into the bedroom, but when the door hit the inside wall, it had bounced back so hard it’d slammed shut—and that must’ve jarred the lock because she couldn’t open it. All she could do was cover as much of her breasts as possible while trying to break through the door using her shoulder.

“Wait! Stop!” Riley cried. “You’re going to hurt yourself even more. Will you calm down? You’re freaking me out!”

He took off his T-shirt and, for the second time that day, offered it to her. But she was shaking too badly to put it on, so he stepped up to help. After righting the sleeves so she could poke her arms through, he yanked it over her head and pulled it down, and she felt the warmth of the cotton cover her body.

Then they both stood there gaping at each other and breathing as hard as if they’d just run a mile.

“What are you doing here?” she asked when she could find her voice.

Thankfully, he was so much bigger than she was, his shirt came to midthigh. She no longer felt exposed. She was, however, writhing with embarrassment. He was the only man she’d ever slept with, which suddenly seemed far too significant.

Looking a bit rattled himself, he wiped his face with one hand. No doubt her bloodcurdling scream had shaken him up. “I’m sorry. I thought you knew. I came in a couple of hours ago to check on you. I spoke to you, and you answered me. I’ve been going in and out and hammering and stuff...”

She had no recollection of any of that. She only remembered falling into bed.
“Hammering?”
That caught her attention because it was the last thing she’d expected him to say. Why would he be hammering at her house?

He shrugged. “Figured I might as well make myself useful.”

“By...”

“Fixing a few things while I’m here.”

Did he really have to see how she was living? Hopefully, she hadn’t asked for his help when he’d spoken to her earlier. She certainly hadn’t meant to. “How’d you know where to start?” she said, as if she wasn’t painfully aware of how pathetic she must seem to him.

“It’s quitting that’s the hard part,” he said. “There’s so much left to do. But I haven’t been quiet, which is why I felt my presence wouldn’t come as a shock.”

“I didn’t think I’d see you again,” she explained. “I mean...not today. I’m trying to prepare a room for Jacob, in case you ever let him stay with me for a weekend now and then. I planned to ask you to come out and inspect it when I’m through, but...it’s not nearly ready.”

“That’s the room on the other side?” He motioned toward the far end of the trailer. “It’s for Jacob?”

“Only with your permission, of course. I’m hoping he’ll be able to visit once in a while—that’s all. Nothing...nothing that would upset you or...or threaten your relationship with Jake.”

The way he studied her made her wonder if she should’ve kept her mouth shut.

“I don’t always think the worst, you know,” he said.

She shook her head. “I wasn’t accusing you. I just want to be clear about my intentions so you can maybe...come to trust me...a little.”

“It sounds like you could trust me a little more, too. Anyway, I brought you some soup. Can I talk you into eating it?”

Soup?
When she’d left prison, she’d been prepared to overlook his many slights, had been determined to repay even cruelty with kindness. That was the only way she’d felt she could build a relationship with Jacob. But Riley was being much nicer than she’d anticipated, and she wasn’t sure how to deal with nice. She hadn’t had much experience with it. “You didn’t need to do that, but I appreciate the gesture. I’ll eat after I get back into my bedroom so I can return your shirt. I don’t want to hold you up.”

She tried the knob again, kept jiggling it, hoping it would somehow release, but it didn’t work. Apparently, nothing could go right for her.

He rested his hands on his hips as he watched. “Is there some sort of trick to it?”

“I guess it locks when you slam the door, which is news to me. But I’ll think of something.” She stopped bothering with it, since her efforts weren’t being rewarded. “The windows are open. I could cut the screen and crawl through. I’ll do that. Wait here.”

“You want me to
wait
? Wouldn’t it be easier if I hoisted you through?”

The image that went through her mind, of his hand under her shirt, made her burn with fresh embarrassment. “That’s okay. I’m not...dressed for that.”

“Isn’t it more important to get back in your room than to preserve your modesty?”

She felt her face flush. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I hope you believe that. I honestly wasn’t aware I had company.”

“I know.”

“
Do
you?” she asked. “Really? Because I’m afraid when you get home you might start thinking I walked out with no clothes on purpose to...to entice you or something. But I swear that wasn’t the case. I mean...if I was seriously trying to get a man’s attention in
that
way, I’d at least make sure I’d combed my hair.” She chuckled, hoping he could see the logic—and the humor—in what she’d said. “No woman would come on to a man looking like she’d just been hit by an Excursion.”

“I don’t think you did it on purpose,” he responded. “The terror on your face, and the fact that you nearly broke your shoulder trying to escape, pretty much told me that your panic was genuine.”

There was a huskiness to his voice that made her curious as to what, exactly, was going through his head. It didn’t sound like relief, as she’d assumed. But he
did
seem to believe her, so she let the rest go in hopes that she could make up for the fact that he’d just seen a great deal more of her than he wanted to. “Thanks for understanding. I may have told you earlier, but in case I didn’t, I have no designs on you, no residual feelings or anything. You and everyone else in town must be wondering, but you can relax. You’re
completely
in the clear.”

“Completely,”
he repeated, mimicking her emphasis.

She wasn’t sure how to react to that. Wasn’t what she’d said
good
news? “Yes.”

His face grew shuttered. “You wouldn’t sleep with me again even if I were the last man on earth. Got it. Thanks for putting me on notice.”

There was that odd element in his voice again. It confused her. She thought she was telling him what he wanted to hear, what would make him the most amenable to allowing her back into his life, if only for the sake of their son. But he seemed more offended than relieved.

Was it an ego thing? Did he want her to continue to worship at his feet?

“It’s not that I think you’re unattractive or anything,” she said. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Of course you didn’t. Any woman would be lucky to be with me. Any woman but you, right?”

Her breath caught in her throat. This was somehow going sideways again. “Even I think you’re handsome, Riley.”

“God, Phoenix.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “Will you...
stop
? Just say what you really think and feel? I’m not as big an ogre as you’re making me out to be.”

She cleared her throat. “Okay. Sure. That’s fair. I thought I was being honest, but I’ll just...climb through the window and give you your shirt so you can go home.”

He folded his arms and leaned against the wall. “You’ll need a ladder if you don’t want my help. You realize that.”

“You’ve seen the yard. There’s got to be a ladder somewhere. So if you’ll...excuse me.” She waited for him to move down the hall so she wouldn’t have to brush by him, but he didn’t.

“I have a better plan,” he said, straightening.

Her eyes lowered instinctively to his chest and the muscles that rippled beneath his skin, but she jerked them up again. “What’s that?”

“I’ll pick the lock.”

“You can do that?”

“I don’t see why not. My tools are here.”

True. They were hanging on the leather belt that rode low on his hips. “You don’t mind?”

“Stop being so damned polite!” he snapped.

“Okay.”

“It’s driving me crazy.”

“Got it. I’m sorry. I just...know that none of this is reflecting well on me. I shouldn’t have gotten into that Jeep with Jacob. I feel...terrible that I endangered him. I won’t let it happen again.”

“You tried to draw the danger away from him as soon as you could. I’m grateful for that. What happened wasn’t your fault, anyway. Buddy’s to blame.”

“I appreciate your understanding,” she said, and meant it.

“And just so
you
know something, I’m not going to use Jacob as a weapon against you, so you can stop walking on eggshells around me. I don’t like feeling that you view me as the bad guy. I’m not your enemy.”

He’d certainly seemed like her enemy in court. But she didn’t say so. She’d long since decided he’d had a right to end their relationship. Maybe he’d thought he loved her and realized later that he didn’t. At seventeen and eighteen, relationships went that way sometimes—on-again, off-again, I love you, I hate you. They were both so young. And anyone was entitled to break up with anyone else, regardless of age. She should’ve just let him go.

“Thanks.”

“Go eat.”

“I’m going. If you’ll—” she indicated the hallway “—let me pass.”

He scowled. “I’m not blocking you,” he said. “Go!”

By turning sideways, she managed to slip past him without any contact. But being naked under his shirt and so close to him was bad enough.

“What? Now I bite, too?” he asked. He’d obviously noticed how carefully she’d tried to circumvent him, but she pretended he hadn’t said anything. He didn’t understand what going seventeen years without that kind of touch did to someone. She was so...empty, so lonely. She didn’t want to end up doing exactly what she’d promised she wouldn’t do—crave his touch.

* * *

Riley stood still for a few seconds, trying to regulate his breathing. He had no business being turned on by what he’d seen, but his body didn’t give a crap what his brain said, probably because he didn’t get to enjoy many romantic encounters. As a single dad, it wasn’t appropriate to bring home random love interests, and he hadn’t been in a serious relationship for quite some time—actually, none that he’d ever incorporated into his life with Jacob. No one he’d dated felt to him as if she could become Jacob’s stepmother, and it seemed unfair to introduce him to one possibility after another, especially if Riley didn’t have much confidence the relationship would last.

That, together with living in a small town, had seriously impaired his sex life. Which was why he was sweating right now, he told himself. He’d just seen a naked woman, one he’d slept with in the past, and that conjured up all the old, erotic memories he’d locked away.

“This is it, in the fridge?” she asked from the kitchen.

He drew a deep breath before answering. “Yeah, it’s chicken tortilla. After you heat it up, add the cheese, chips and cilantro that are in the white bag on the counter.”

“I’ve never had this kind of soup, but it sounds good. Would you like some? It’s a big container. There’s plenty for both of us.”

“No, it’s for you.” He had no idea when she might feel strong enough to walk to town for more groceries. What else was she going to eat?

“You really don’t want any?”

“I’m not hungry.” For that. He was suddenly starving for the feel of a woman’s body as his mind’s eye once again focused on the way her hands had tried to cover her breasts.

He’d seen them despite that...

“Where’s Jacob?” she asked.

She was so sure of his contempt for everything about her that he knew she’d never guess he was contending with an unwanted erection.

“He has a group homework project,” he said, and forced himself to find a nail he could insert through the hole in the center of the lock. This was Phoenix, he told himself. He
couldn’t
be attracted to her.

But that didn’t seem to change the fact that he was.

“Stupid door.” Her voice filtered back to him again. “You’d be home and able to help him if not for that.”

“Jake handles his studies without me these days.”

“He’s such a great kid. I hope he wasn’t too upset about this morning.”

“He’s worried about you.”

“A little fall is no big deal.”

A
little
fall... From her perspective, that was probably true. As she’d said, she’d weathered far worse. He could tell that when he saw her bare back, but he hadn’t noticed any scars while she was in the hall. He’d been far too interested in other things.

He fished around for the trigger in the knob. He figured if he couldn’t find it, he’d break the door open. Had she been any bigger, she could’ve done that herself, it was so flimsy.

He managed without too much trouble, swung the door open and gazed around, taking note of how neatly she’d piled her few belongings in one corner, including the items he and Kyle had purchased for her. She didn’t have a chest of drawers, and yet she’d put one in Jacob’s room. That detail didn’t slip past him. It looked as if Jacob had the more comfortable bed, too.

“Did you get the lock to open?” she asked from the end of the hall.

“Yeah.” Conscious of his lingering erection, he turned only partway to answer. Then he acted as if he was doing something with his tool belt and adjusted himself.