When he’s within arms reach, she launches herself into his arms, and he picks her up and spins her around, both of them laughing in glee.
Oh,
fuck.
Grim must be her father. The shit I’m in just got deeper.
After kissing Lilah on the forehead, he sets her back on the floor and tears his smiling eyes away from her, to stare me down. All hint of a smile devoid from his face.
“Introduce us to your friend, Lils.”
His voice ripples down my spine. It’s impossibly deep and sounds just like a growling Grizzly Bear. Bear, this guy must be Bear.
Lilah spins out of his embrace and takes the few steps back to me. Her hand instantly finding mine.
“Guys,” she addresses the whole room, “This is Harry. We met today at the school fundraiser, and he was smitten with my bunny ears.”
I tentatively raise my hand in Hello, only to be met with silence. Thick, goosebump forming, silence.
Lilah shakes her head with a little laugh. “Alright everyone, you’ve had your fun. Say Hi to Harry and stop trying to be big, butch, scary bikers.”
More silence.
The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and I want to turn and run. These guys could eat me for breakfast.
“Enough already, or I’m telling Harry about the time you all…”
A chorus of greetings ring out around us, many of them sounding like they come from the mouths of prepubescent boys and not muscle-bound, scary grown men. Or am I hallucinating?
Bear’s face breaks into a shit-eating grin and reaches out to shake my hand.
When he opens his mouth to speak again, I am rendered mute.
“Hello there, Harry. It’s not often our Lils brings anyone out to visit us. Please forgive us for the teasing. It’s the only fun we get.”
Gone is the bone shaking growl, to be replaced with the soft, high tones of a choirboy. My fear has definitely got me tripping. It’s like I’m in some freaky, alternate universe.
Bear’s hand lingers in the air between us and he looks from me to Lilah before singing out a giggly “Oh, fuck it” and pulling me into his arms to twirl me around just the way he did to Lilah a few moments ago.
What the fuckity fuck is going on here?
I’m in a deadly biker den, being spun around in the arms of a man mountain with the voice of Alan Carr; a man mountain who is now giggling like a school girl.
Through tears of laughter, I hear Lilah say, “Oh for heaven’s sake, put him down, Bear.”
Bear obliges, but not before giving me a crippling squeeze and a kiss on the forehead.
“He’s cute; you can bring him again.”
He swats me on the arse and sends me back to Lilah, who gives him half-arsed look of warning that she can’t pull off due to the smile on her lips.
“We’ve just come in for a quick drink. I promised Harry a ride in Clarabelle for helping me today. I’m not sure he quite expected this reception, though. So behave-” she looks around the assembled motley crew and adds, “-the lot of you.”
Bear does a little curtsy and nods to the far end of the room.
I turn to see a long, wooden bar fill the entire back wall and a tatted, Hispanic looking guy, with glossy long black hair nods back.
“Whatcha having Lils? I got some new draft ales in.”
She pulls me along beside her, and leads me through the mass of tables, smiling sweetly at all the guys who greet her along the way.
We step up to the bar, and I can feel every eye in the place still boring into my back.
One drink, then we can go. One drink, then we can go.
I repeat the mantra in my head, vowing never to take a cute bunny up on an offer of a ride, ever again.
“I’ll take a draft and Harry would like a whiskey neat, please, JC.”
“Sure thing, pretty girl.” JC answers and it’s at this point that I finally take in his attire.
He has on the same black leather biker vest as everyone else, but the bar was concealing what he has on his bottom half, until now.
JC has on a short, pleated leather skirt and fire engine red, stiletto heels.
I don’t know whether to stare or not. So I settle on looking back up at his face, catching matching jewelled nipple rings as I do.
Moments later, a neat whiskey is placed in front of me and half an ale is handed to Lilah.
I waste no time in knocking back my drink and slamming the glass back down on the bar.
Lilah, who was taking her first sip of ale and now has a frothy moustache on her top lip, puts her glass down after one sip and licks away the residue.
In other circumstances, I would have offered to help in some way, but not only has the girl got me not knowing which way is up, but she’s also taken me to a pub that must be part of the Twilight Zone.
Blinking up at me with innocent eyes she asks, “Do you want another?”
I shake off the feeling I get whenever she makes direct eye contact with me and clear my throat, “Actually, I’ve… uh… just remembered that I have plans and need to get back. I think I’ll call a taxi.”
My chest tightens when her face drops. A crestfallen look taking over her features and the sparkle in her eyes dimming.
“Oh, okay. I can take you back. I don’t need to finish. Just let me say Goodbye to the guys.”
She turns and walks away from the bar, straight up to the table where Bear and his friends sit. She whispers something in his ear, and they both look my way. I can’t help but feel like an arsehole for making her leave, but this shit is just weird.
In fact, this whole experience tops date number twelve, post-balls, and my encounter with Mr Puss Puss.
This is a whole other scale of freaky and the boys are going to wet themselves when they hear about it. If I ever decide to tell them.
Who am I kidding? I’ll need to offload this wacky shit on someone, even if they laugh themselves hoarse when they hear about it.
“Listen, girlfriend.”
I swing around to face JC assuming that he’s talking to me.
“Yeah, I’m talking to you.”
His hands are on his hips, and he’s wearing that pissed off look that most women do if you tell them their arse looks big in their new jeans.
“You listen up and listen good. Our Lilah has fought many battles in her life. Don’t go adding to them. Unless you can be a man and see that she’s more than special, she’s more than diamonds. Unless you can see that our Lilah is a platinum Tiffany ring kind of special, then you’d best take your scrawny ass and leave well alone.”
I don’t have a response for that. What can you say to a burly, six foot something guy, with jewels in his nipples, tattoos on his arms and higher heels than many women can carry off?
That’s right, nothing.
“Hey, I’m ready.”
Lilah taps me on the shoulder and motions towards the way we came in.
I notice, this time, that she doesn’t link our hands, she just leads, and I follow.
When we get to Bear’s table, she blows a kiss, one which he catches in his hand and places across his heart.
Then he winks at me.
He fucking winks at me.
I pick up my pace and follow Lilah back into the daylight, the bright sun making my eyes squint. I can hear the laughter of the whole pub behind me, but I don’t give a shit.
I’ve decided my story to the boys will be that I entered the den of some mercenary bikers and survived to tell the tale.
I’ll leave out the choirboy’s voice, and the stiletto heel wearing barman.
I’ll definitely leave out the kiss to my head and the wink when I left.
“I’
m sorry, Harry. I shouldn’t have taken you there.” We are almost back at the school by the time Lilah finally speaks and I turn to look at her. She’s been far more subdued with her driving and her mood all the way back and is currently chewing on her bottom lip.
“It’s just one of my happy places, but I realise I should have explained about The Riot before we got there, or, at least, told you their full name of G.A.Y. RIOT.”
I blink, everything finally falling into place.
“You mean the bikers are all…”
“Gay? Yes. Those were the guys I got caught underage drinking with and we’ve been friends ever since. I’m kind of like the club mascot.”
“Wow.” That’s all I have.
No, I have more.
“Now you mention it, loads of them looked like the blokes out of the
Village People
music video.”
She laughs, it’s small, but it’s there, and the tightness in my chest lessens.
“That’s because many of them
were
in that video.”
“Huh. I guess I’ll have to
YouTube
it later. See if I can spot any faces I recognise out of the ones I thought were going to murder me and bury me in the woods.” I’m teasing. Kind of.
“I really am sorry, Harry. I had too much fun winding you up and realised a little too late, that it wasn’t much fun for you.”
She takes her eyes off the road to look at me, and then pulls into the school, driving straight towards the back of the car park and the lone car left. The Banana Mobile.
Putting the Mustang into park, she sighs when I reach out to open the door.
“Let me make it up to you, no more teasing, I swear. In fact, you can take me out and choose where we go.”
I turn back to look at her, intent on telling her, thanks, but no thanks but those chocolate brown pools drag me into their depths. The “Yes” falls out of my lips before my brain has caught up and her responding smile lights up her face and puts a sparkle back in her eyes.
“Yes?” She looks both shocked and nervous about my reply.
I smile big for the first time that day, “Why the hell not. It’s payback time for today. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Bunny Girl.”
When I wink at her, her mouth gapes open and I feel the old me click into place.
This girl, with her crazy driving, scary gay friends and merciless teasing, has given me a piece of the old H back. The least I can do is show her what she’s missing.
“I’ll call you.”
I’m aiming for smooth and mysterious, but when I pull out of my parking space and look into my rear view mirror, I realise I was just being a tit.
I didn’t get her number.
I’m such a fucking muppet.
I
t’s been thirteen days since Harry got out of my car with a wink and a smile, promising to call.
He hasn’t.
What did I expect, though? He didn’t even get my number. Maybe that was his way of brushing me off. Maybe taking a chance on a handsome guy with sad eyes wasn’t my best idea.
“Are you all set?”
I’m sat in a striped lawn chair, staring down at the people on the street below through the panoramic window of our apartment, but turn when I hear her voice. She’s standing just outside her bedroom door, with her head peeking around the frame.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I offer her a weary smile that she doesn’t return.
“You don’t need to be strong for me, Lils. I know your worry, I’m your twin, remember? I can feel it, as strongly as if it were my own.”