Thirst No. 4 (19 page)

“How will it die?”

“Simple. We’ll kill it.”

T
wenty-four hours later I sit in the guesthouse with Seymour and await a visit from Matt. I figure one of two things will happen. Matt will either come in and give Seymour a shot of Charlie’s new vaccine. Or else he will kick the door down and snap my neck.

The possibilities make the wait interesting.

Seymour smokes, when he’s not scratching.

“I can’t believe that chick’s ten thousand years old.”

“More like twelve thousand,” I say.

“Christ. She’s such a fox. Do you think she really loves Freddy or is she just hanging out with him because of the Brutran connection?”

“She befriended Freddy to keep an eye on Brutran. But I think over time she’s come to love him.”

“Does he know who she is?”

“Umara would never trust her secrets with a mortal.”

“But you’ve told me and Paula.”

“I know neither of you will talk. Besides, it’s too late in the game to worry about who’s who. Soon, very soon, humanity is either going to live or die.”

“Even if you get your body back, you’re not going to be able to stop the Telar.”

“You’re wrong. I have a plan.”

“One you might share with a lowly mortal?”

“Not yet.”

“Fine. Be that way. I have an idea what your plan is anyway.”

“I’m sure you do,” I say.

“Shanti’s excited Matt’s bringing the new vaccine. At the same time she knows something big is happening and she’s being kept out of it.”

“Shanti is young. You better believe Umara sees her that way. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

“I agree. She’s sweet but she’s led a protected life. She shouldn’t be burdened with too many secrets.”

“God, it feels weird for you to agree with me.”

“Don’t get used to it. Hey, I heard you on the phone with Charlie. Asking for large bottles of the new T-11 vaccine and the X6X6 virus. I assume that has something to do with your plan.”

“Don’t spy on my private conversations. You never know who might kidnap you and try to torture the information out of you. Besides, the new vaccine is called C-1.”

“After Charlie?”

“He invented it. He should be allowed to name it.”

Seymour studies the black blisters on his hands and arms. They are not only larger, they’re spreading. “Did Umara go alone to pick up Matt?”

“Yes. Remember to keep calling her Mary around Freddy.”

“I hope she arranged for Freddy to be out of the way tonight.”

“She sent him off to see his daughter.”

“Brutran’s child? Isn’t that sort of risky at a time like this?”

“The visit was planned far in advance. Neither of us thought it should be changed. We don’t want to raise any unnecessary suspicions.”

“If you ask me, Brutran knows exactly where we are and is just biding her time.”

“It’s possible. But if Cindy tries to attack with the Cradle, she’s going to run into a big surprise. Umara can block it.”

“Like Shanti?”

“Better.”

“How does she do it?”

“That’s a secret she’s keeping to herself. I’m sure it’s something that can’t be taught.”

“How was she able to mask her heartbeat from you?”

“Like Matt, she has complete control over all her bodily functions.”

“I guess a woman like that wouldn’t be interested in a guy like me.”

“She does have Freddy and he’s not a bad guy. Then there’s the age difference, that might be a problem. Besides, she knows you’re in love with me.”

Seymour is too damn perceptive. He hears something in my voice. “Is it hard for you to be around her?” he asks gently.

“She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”

“More the reason to hate her.” He pauses. “It’s not like Krishna gave Yaksha a choice to be with you.”

I sigh, it does hurt, and it shouldn’t, it’s so childish. “Yaksha made his own choice. He met her and fell for her. The years were not a barrier between them. Their love was real.”

“But he never stopped loving you. He was with you in the end. That means a lot.”

“He was with me then because he knew I would not stop him, that I would let him die. I doubt Umara would have ever let him go.” I stare down at Teri’s hands and try to imagine that they will be dead before the night is through. “Can we talk about something else, please?”

“I’m sorry, Sita. I just meant . . .”

“I know, I know.” I rub my palms together, enjoying the warmth of Teri’s flesh. “There’s a call I should make before Umara and Matt return.”

“Are you worried if John is coming?”

“Paula called from the road. They’re on their way.”

“Great. John is finally taking an interest in you, after all.”

“I’m grateful. I have this feeling that everything will go smoothly if he’s around. But the call I brought up . . .”

“It’s to Teri’s parents,” Seymour interrupts.

“It’s hopeless, I know, what am I going to say? I’m saying good-bye to them while I’m still alive. Yet I feel I owe it to them. I don’t talk much about Teri’s memories. I try not to dwell on them. But they’re a part of me now. Even if this switch works tonight, I’ll take them with me. Mr. and Mrs. Raine will always be Dad and Mom to me.”

Seymour stands. “I assume you want to be alone.”

I reach out my hand. “I want you right here beside me. I want you to hold me, and if I get stuck, whisper in my ear and tell me what to say. Can you do that for me?”

He takes my hand and sits beside me. “Just let them know how much you love them. That’s the most important memory you can leave them with. And tell them that winning the gold medal in the Olympics was the thrill of a lifetime. That will comfort them in the days to come. Teri didn’t have a long life but it was a rich life. You need to know that, too.”

For some reason I hug him. “Thank you.”

Two hours later, I’m alone in the guesthouse. Seymour is in the main residence with Paula and John, who have only just arrived. I could hear what they’re saying if I concentrate but I don’t feel the desire. My hearing is focused on another car
that’s turning into the long driveway. Umara and her extraordinary son are here.

I assume Matt will go in the house first, say hello to the others, maybe give Seymour a shot of the new vaccine. But the instant he steps out of the car, he walks toward the cottage. I swallow. The long wait is over.

Moments later he stands in the doorway. He’s dressed in a white shirt and gray pants, with a charcoal sports coat. His expression is impossible to read. It appears empty of all emotion, which does not reassure me. I try to form a welcoming smile but my lips are frozen. I have to cough to speak.

“This is not easy for either of us,” I say.

“No.” He enters and sits on the corner of Seymour’s bed. I curl my knees to my chest. At least he has sat down.

“Your mother insisted on speaking to you. That was not my wish. I wanted to tell you myself.” I pause. “When I leapt in front of your laser, this was the last thing I expected to happen.”

“It just happened? You had no role in it?”

Now that he’s alert to the situation, it will be useless to lie to him. His truth sense is equal to my own. “No conscious role, although John says my soul wanted to remain here.”

“You talked to him about what happened?”

“I felt confused. I had to talk to someone.”

“Did John say Teri wished to leave?”

“He indicated it was her time.”

“That’s what I told you. Her body should have died that night.”

“I know. But . . . it was hard, too hard, to let her go.”

He nods. “And if you had, then we would have lost you both.”

“Probably.”

“I wish I could speak to John and ask him these questions.”

“He’s in the house. You could try talking to him. But he’s difficult to approach. The other night was the first time we really spoke.”

“But you trust him.”

“Yes.”

“He says that you remained here for a reason. That you have an important task to accomplish.”

These are points I passed on to Umara to improve my case.

“Essentially,” I say.

“And if I kill you, I go against the word of God.”

“The child is not God. Kill me if you wish. I won’t fight you.”

“You can’t fight me. Not until you’re back in your original body.”

“Is that why you’re here? To wait until the switch is complete so we can have a fair fight?”

“The idea did cross my mind.”

“Better kill me now and save everybody a lot of trouble.”

“You know I can’t harm Teri.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. Teri’s gone.”

My words sting him and he grimaces. “Is that definite?”

“According to your mother and John.”

It takes time for him to absorb his girlfriend’s death sentence. But finally he asks the question I have most dreaded. “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth?”

“At first, I went through a period of disorientation. You were with me, you knew I wasn’t myself. It was only at the funeral, when John gazed into my eyes, that things came into focus. It was then I knew who I was.”

“You could have told me when you returned to the hotel.”

“I wanted to. I took no pleasure in deceiving you. But I remembered your anger on the mountain. I was afraid how you would react.”

“We made love that night.”

“I know. I’m . . . I’m sorry.”

“That’s not it. Teri and I made love. She was there, I felt her.”

“I know. When you took me in your arms, I felt her, too.”

Matt sits up. “Then there’s hope.”

“You can’t think that way. It kills me to keep saying this but she died on that mountain.”

“But you have all her memories. A part of her must still live inside you. If we could reawaken it . . .”

“Matt. Please. I understand little of what’s supposed to happen tonight. Your mother refused to give me any details.
But I do know she brought you here so you could let Teri go. Your mother understands how painful this is for you. She wouldn’t put you through this anguish unless it was necessary.” I pause. “Teri’s dead.”

He closes his eyes and grips his hands together so hard they shake. His internal struggle is palpable; it heats the room. A part of him wants to scream in anguish. Another part wants to fight for her life. And what’s left wants to strike out at me for putting him through such agony.

“This is your fault,” he whispers.

“It’s both our faults.”

His eyes pop open and he glares at me. “How dare you!”

I meet his furious gaze. “We both dared, Matt. We both contacted Teri and interfered with her life without asking her permission. Without telling her what we were. You’re half vampire, half Telar, and you brought the whole threat of the Telar into her life when you chose to pursue her. At least I didn’t know about the Telar or the IIC when I first made contact with her. But that’s no excuse. I knew from experience that death follows me. I had no more right than you to involve myself in her life.”

He leaps to his feet and is suddenly inches away. I feel the fire of his breath, the choking ash of his loss. He’s so close to killing me I know it will be over before I’ll feel it begin. He raises a hand above my head.

“I’ve read your history,” he swears. “Everyone you’ve ever
loved, everyone you’ve ever touched, has always died. That’s your legacy, not mine. There was never a chance I would have harmed her.”

My fear has left me, my death feels inevitable. For that reason I’m able to look up at him and speak in a calm voice. “That’s not true. You can fool yourself but you can’t fool Teri. You’re right, part of her does still live inside me. Her memories are all there, and I have only to glance at the day you met her and the days that followed to know that you were constantly battling with yourself whether it was right for you to let her fall in love with you. Well, you convinced yourself the answer was yes, when it was no. No, Matt, I’m no more to blame than you for what happened to her. So if you decide to rip my head off please be a sport about it and end your own life when you’re done with me.”

The life goes out of him right then and he plops down on my bed. He sways as if he’s been stabbed and I instinctively reach out to steady him but I end up hugging him. He seems to melt in my arms, or perhaps it’s our tears that create the sensation, as they mingle and flow together and drop into the lap of a young woman we both loved more than we could say. It seems he accepts my words, or else Teri’s memories, since he stops threatening me and falls into a cold and lonely silence.

M
y body lies in front of me on the altar. I sit on my knees to the left of it, near my head. John is beside me, above my long blond hair, and Umara is to the right side of my body, a puja kit near her crossed legs. At the feet of my body is Matt. At the last moment John stopped Paula and Seymour from attending. No one asked him why.

Umara has built up the fire, and the last of the chill of the icy stream has left my body. The thousands of rubies embedded in the inverted triangle sparkle; the central pearl glistens. The Kali symbol reminds me of my daughter, Kalika, and how fearlessly she offered her life to save John. I wish to imitate her courage now but a thread of fear has woven its way back into my heart. I wasn’t afraid when I leapt in front of the laser that originally killed me but I had no time to think then.

Now I wish I could stop thinking and turn off my mind. I have no idea what is to happen next but I’m overwhelmed with a strange sense of the abyss. Kali is supposed to represent extinction, the loss of all individuality. At another time and place I might have viewed such a state as related to enlightenment but now it just feels like another form of death.

I know who I am and I want to go on being me.

I don’t like the odds Umara plays with. She has only done this once before. She doesn’t know whether it’s going to work any more than I do. Nevertheless, I watch closely as she removes a small blue bottle from the folds of her red robe. As she uncorks it, I smell blood and give her a puzzled look. She nods.