Theodosia and the Staff of Osiris-Theo 2 (12 page)

"Well..." I glanced cautiously at Grandmother. "I study ancient Egypt and Greek and Latin and hieroglyphs. Sometimes Father lets me help out with maintaining the exhibits and whatnot. Right now, he has me cataloging the museum items down in the basement."

"Sounds very dry and dusty to me," he said.

I felt Grandmother's steely gaze boring holes clear through my forehead. "Yes, well, I do very much appreciate this chance to see your boat," I said politely.

"Ship," he corrected. "I bet you're looking forward to having a new governess to study with. The one your grandmother's found for you sounds like just the ticket." I wanted to ask which governess that would be—the prune, the one reeking of sherry, or the pincher—but all I said was, "Yes, sir."

Grandmother gave a small nod of approval.

Admiral Sopcoate frowned, as if something had just occurred to him. "Have you just been teaching yourself, then? All this time?"

"Well, mostly—"

"If you can call that teaching," Grandmother interrupted. "I think she's just been stuffing her head full of nonsense that no healthy girl would want to know about."

"But Grandmother," I asked, "why is it okay for a girl to know about battleships but not Egyptology?"

Grandmother's nostrils flared. "Because battleships have to do with the pride and glory of Britain. Every British subject ought to be well informed on that score. But no one needs to study a bunch of long-dead heathens."

So
that's
what she thought of Egyptology. I'd always wondered. "Thank you," I said. "I understand now." She studied me to see if I was being impertinent, but I wasn't. I just finally understood her views on the subject.

Satisfied that I wasn't being disrespectful, she turned back to the admiral. "Well, I think this is an amazing achievement, Sopcoate. It's not many members of the admiralty
who would have the foresight to put our crown jewel on display for all Englishmen to marvel over."

The admiral chuckled and patted her arm. Honestly. These two were getting nearly as bad as Mum and Dad. "It would never have been possible without the recent floods, Lavinia. But once it was clear that the higher water line was here to stay for a bit and we could get her through, I realized what a fine opportunity it would be."

"I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand why a ship would be a crown jewel."

Grandmother flinched at my words. She looked as though she was going to remind me that children should be seen and not heard, but the admiral spoke first. "Why, of course you wouldn't! You're only a child. And a girl, at that. I bet you your younger brother, Henry, could tell you all about the
Dreadnought.
"

Oh, how Henry would have crowed if he could have heard this! If it had been anyone other than the admiral who had said it, I would have taken great exception. But he'd been so kind and jolly, and helped Father with the police, and kept Grandmother from being too beastly, so I let it go. "Do you really think it's our crown jewel? Why?"

"Because it's only
the
greatest battleship ever built, young lady! Outclasses everything else on the ocean today and renders all other battleships obsolete. It assures Britain's position as the greatest naval power in the world."

"But I thought we already were the greatest?"

"Good girl," he said, looking quite pleased. "You're right. We were and are. But we like to be twice as great as any other two countries combined, so we mustn't rest on our laurels."

I supposed that made sense. Kind of like Father wanting not just to have a better collection than the British Museum, but a HUGELY better collection.

"Besides," Grandmother Throckmorton muttered darkly, "someone needs to keep that Kaiser Wilhelm in check. That dreadful man thinks to knock us from our pin, no matter what he says otherwise."

My ears perked up at the mention of Kaiser Wilhelm. Von Braggenschnott had talked about him, too. He claimed that the Serpents of Chaos were feeding the Kaiser's drive to compete with Britain in order to bring about chaos and disorder. And I must say, it had almost worked.

Which brought my thoughts right back to the Staff of Osiris. I desperately needed to find out more about it's history, not to mention finding a better hiding place for it. If Wigmere was correct and the Serpents of Chaos were back in London, it wouldn't take long for them to discover the staff's location.

Especially if mummies kept showing up every morning!

I squirmed in my seat. I needed to find a way to keep the mummies from returning the next day. I was afraid Turnbull would arrest Father if they showed up again.

I rested my aching head on the cool glass of the carriage window and looked outside.

All sorts of rubbish littered the street where the floodwaters had spilled over. Driftwood, old leaves, rags—all were pitched up against the edges of the buildings. People's furniture sat out on their stoops, drying off in the brisk air. Even the sandbags were still up where they'd been piled high to prevent more flooding.

Looking at how much damage the Serpents of Chaos had accomplished with severe rains, I shuddered to think what they would do if they had power over death in their greedy, grasping hands.

***

As we arrived at the Royal Albert Dock and traveled past miles of docks and quays, cargo containers and pulleys, the
Dreadnought
came into view. She was larger than any other ship in sight, her hard gray lines etched darkly against the lighter gray sky, all masts and funnels, cabling and turrets. A long, thick-plated, armored beast that towered over everything.

We got out of the admiral's carriage, and he led Grandmother and me toward a gangplank with thick rope rails. There were two sailors posted there, dressed in smart blue uniforms with white piping on the collars and smart sailor hats. At the sight of the admiral, they snapped to attention and saluted. "Sir!"

Their action startled me so badly that I found myself saluting back in reflex—only, I aimed too high and managed to knock my hat clear off my head. It rolled onto the dock, then fluttered along the ground for a second before going over the side into the water.

There was a moment of stunned, embarrassed silence in which I was afraid to even look at Grandmother. Then one of the sailors winked at me. "Don't worry, miss. I'll fetch it for you." He hustled over to the side, fished out the hat, and held it up to me with a flourish.

"Thank you, sir!" I said, taking the soggy hat from him and holding it gingerly between two fingers. I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to do with it now, but it had been very kind of him to save it for me, even if he didn't know how much I loathe hats.

The admiral cleared his throat. "I've brought a couple of visitors with me today, as you can see. I've a mind to give them a tour of the ship."

"But of course, sir. Shall we call for an escort, sir?" the shorter one inquired.

"No, thank you. I can manage." Sopcoate held out his arm for Grandmother. "Do watch your step, Lavinia," he advised.

"I've got it. I'm not infirm, you know."

He winked at her. "I know that very well, madam," he said, his words causing her to blush slightly. And may I just say that old, wrinkled cheeks aren't made for blushing?

I brought up the rear, holding my soggy headgear behind my back, hoping no one would notice. Much.

I suppose visiting a battleship would be a lovely way to spend an afternoon, if one wasn't distracted by the threat of one's father being hauled off to prison. Or by wondering who on earth the Grim Nipper was. Or by worrying whether or not one slippery street urchin had managed to get a most urgent message to the head of a secret organization.

Or if one wasn't accompanied by one's grandmother.

Once we were on board, Admiral Sopcoate dropped us like a hot potato. After introducing us to Captain Bacon, the admiral went off with him to inspect some turbans or some such, and Petty Officer Tipton was in charge of our tour. He gave us a smart salute, and Grandmother leaned down and muttered in my ear, "Now, those are manners. You could learn something from him."

Honestly. Grandmother Throckmorton could ruin an afternoon faster than a bout of influenza. I wondered if she had been born with that skill or had to work at it.

I had to admit, the sheer size of the
Dreadnought
was awe inspiring. The deck spread out to either side as far as my eye could see, interrupted by turrets and towers and all sorts of lines and cables. Anchor chains as thick as my leg ran the length of the deck.

Tipton caught me taking in the enormity of her. "Over five hundred feet long, she is. And has an eighty-two-foot beam."

I wasn't sure what a beam was, but he was quite proud of it, so I murmured something properly awestruck.

As we continued to wander around the deck, we passed a group of sailors giving a section of the ship a lick of fresh paint.

"See how neat everything is, Theodosia," Grandmother pointed out. "How clean and bright that fresh coat of paint makes everything appear."

So what was her point? Did she want me to paint the museum white? Frankly, all the stark whiteness was quite blinding. It was giving me a headache.

Luckily, Petty Officer Tipton took over from there. "Did the admiral mention to you that the
Dreadnought
was put together in a year? A marvel of naval engineering, that. And
speaking of engineering, the
Dreadnought
can go three knots faster than any other ship in her class, thanks to her two sets of Parsons turbines."

"Why would men wearing turbans make the ship go faster?" I asked.

Grandmother flushed. "It's turbines, you silly girl. Not turbans."

"Oh," I said in a small voice.

"An easy mistake," Tipton said with a quick wink at me.

Anxious to change the subject, I looked back the way we'd come. Hordes of seamen swarmed busily over the deck. "How many men does it take to run this ship?" I asked.

"Around seven hundred, give or take. Here, this way, please. I'll take you down and show you the gunroom."

He led us over to a narrow door, then down a very steep set of stairs. "Do watch your step, ma'am," he warned, holding out his arm for Grandmother.

"I've got it," she said with a huff of exasperation.

When we reached the lower deck, Tipton showed us to a set of double doors. "The gunroom," he announced. We stepped into a room with a number of tables and chairs, some of them set as if for a fine dinner. There was a gramophone in the corner, but no guns. However, after the turban blunder, I wasn't about to point that out.

We left the gunroom and continued on down the narrow aisle. On either side of us were scores of little doors. One of them stood open, and I saw it led to a tiny, cramped bedroom. "Who sleeps in there?" I asked.

"That's an officer's cabin. In fact, most of these rooms along here are officers' cabins."

"They're awfully small." In truth, they weren't much larger than my little closet at the museum.

"Well, they have to squeeze a lot of them on the ship to house all the men," he explained.

"I suppose they must be small if you have to fit seven hundred of them on the ship," I agreed.

Tipton chuckled. "No, no. Only officers get cabins. The crew just hangs their hammocks wherever they can find space."

"They don't get rooms of their own?"

"Hardly," Tipton said. "They're lucky to get twenty-four inches to themselves."

That seemed rather unfair, if you asked me.

Tipton led us back up the stairs to the upper deck and we emerged at the base of a large tower. As I looked up, I saw that enormous tubes stuck out of the tower. With a jolt, I realized they were the guns. Great big whopping ones.

"Here, have a look at this, will you?" I recognized the admiral's voice but couldn't see him anywhere. Officer Tipton pointed up, and I saw the admiral and Captain Bacon on top of the turret, next to one of the enormous guns.

"Come have a look at this twelve-pounder, why don't you?"

"But how do I get up there?" I asked.

"By the ladder, of course," was Admiral Sopcoate's reply. Officer Tipton pointed to the ladder bolted to the turret, and I glanced questioningly at Grandmother. I wasn't sure she'd look too kindly on my climbing ladders and risking exposing my knickers to the entire crew of the Royal Navy's finest.

Understanding at once the question in my gaze, she nodded. "Go ahead, but keep your knees together and don't dally. Besides, it's a rather short ladder."

It was all I could do to keep from gaping at her. Surely this change of temperament was due to Admiral Sopcoate's good influence.

Tipton led me to the ladder, and while Grandmother distracted him with conversation, I set my soggy hat on the ground, then scurried up as fast as I could. Admiral Sopcoate motioned me over to where he and the captain were studying what looked to be a very skinny cannon.

Captain Bacon was holding an enormous shell that was as long as my forearm and three times as thick.

Admiral Sopcoate indicated the loading chamber. "We just pop this in the tube here, add a powder charge, and the gun's ready to go."