Theirs to Keep (12 page)

She looked distressed as she continued on. Not at all like a woman should look when she’d just confessed her love for a man. She was clearly nervous and unsettled and seemingly anxious to get her point across before they could respond.

The words tumbled out of her mouth, so fast he could barely keep up.

“And I know you’re wondering what that has to do with what happened tonight or, well, anything, but it has
everything
to do with it, because I don’t want to remember my past because I’m terrified that it could come between me and the two of you. It’s a fear I live with
every single day
.”

When she would have continued on, Cade took her hand, engulfing it in his much larger grasp. “Elle, I don’t give a shit about your past other than the fact that it’s a source of pain and emotional stress for you.”

Merrick was still reeling from the powerful words she’d uttered. He couldn’t seem to get his mouth to work, and he couldn’t afford to screw this up. He
had
to get this
right
.

“Elle.”

Her name came out barely a whisper, and he had to clear his throat so he didn’t croak the rest of the words.

The weight of emotion in her gaze took his breath away. She looked…scared. As if she’d taken the biggest risk of her life by blurting out those words.

Viewed from her eyes, it had to be terrifying to lay so much on the line when she had no past, nowhere to go, no one but him and Cade to rely on.

In the end, there was no deep, drawn-out explanation. There was nothing to say to her but the utter truth in all its simplicity.

“Ahh, baby, I love you too,” he said hoarsely.

He framed her face in his hands, rubbing the pads of his thumbs over her cheekbones. The relief was crushing in her eyes. Her entire body sagged, and then she turned her mouth into his hand to press a kiss to his palm.

“Do you mean it?” she whispered.

He could barely form the words. He was too shaken by the emotion welling in his chest. When had he ever felt so much for another person? It was a completely new experience for him. Nothing had prepared him for this. It
undid
him. He was tough. Strong. A mixed martial arts fighter. He could take apart a man in the ring without remorse. He could lock his emotions away until they were encased in stone. But this slip of a woman unraveled him as no other person had ever even come close to.

“I love you,” he said more firmly, knowing he owed her conviction. “I think I fell hard on my ass for you the very first time I laid eyes on you.”

She glanced nervously at Cade, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip as she took in his reaction to the scene unfolding.

Cade stroked her hair with one hand. Then his gaze met Merrick’s, and there was determination there.

“We’re okay with this, Elle,” Cade said in a firm but gentle voice. “This isn’t something we’ve approached lightly. I don’t want you to ever think we did. You’re important to us both. You mean everything to us. You don’t have to walk on eggshells around us for fear of pissing one of us off because you think you left one of us out.”

She reached for Cade’s hand, pulling it to her mouth to kiss the inside as she’d done to Merrick.

“I love you.”

Cade’s eyes softened. He seemed to melt right there on the couch. He cupped her face and leaned in, angling his mouth over hers to apply gentle pressure with his lips.

“I love you too, sweetheart. We’re going to get through this. I promise.”

Her eyes glittered with unshed tears, and Merrick could tell she was battling for control.

“I don’t know what to do,” she choked out. “I don’t know how to fix me. I wish I did.”

“Shhh,” Cade said as he kissed her again. “I’m going to call Dallas and see what he has to say. He may can offer insight or at least address the sleep issue.”

She hesitated, opened her mouth as if to say something and then closed it again.

“What is it?” Merrick asked.

“Maybe… Maybe it would be better if one of you slept with me. In case it happens again.”

“I think that’s a very good idea,” Cade said.

He glanced up at Merrick as he said the next words, as if he were checking Merrick’s reaction.

“I think it would be best if you slept between us. No way for you to slip out of bed if you have to crawl over one of us.”

Merrick nodded immediately. Elle looked relieved. She rubbed her hands up and down her legs, pressing tightly against the sweats.

“Call Dallas,” she said in a quiet voice. “I want to fix this, no matter what I have to do. I want to be able to move forward.”

C H A P T E R     T W E N T Y - O N E

ELLE HAD A RELAXED RELATIONSHIP with Dallas. He checked in on her regularly, even calling the guys for frequent updates. Since having a regular doctor was out of the question when she didn’t even know who she was, Dallas had taken over her care as well as Merrick’s.

If she had an ailment or needed an exam, Cade and Merrick brought her in after work hours and Dallas would see her in his clinic.

Tonight, he was making a house call.

Merrick had called him, concern vibrating in his voice as he’d asked Dallas to come over. It was no wonder Dallas showed as quickly as he did after hearing the way Merrick sounded.

Dallas listened first to Merrick’s account of how Elle had walked out of the house in her sleep. Then he talked to Elle, and she told him of the dreams and of hearing her attacker’s voice. The badge and how it had dug into her skin. She didn’t even realize she rubbed her hip the entire time she was recounting the story.

Dallas put his hand over hers. “As you heal, you can likely expect more of your memory to return. And by heal, I mean emotionally. Sometimes the mind takes much longer to recover than the body, and I certainly believe that to be the case in your situation.”

She nodded because she agreed with him there. There were days she didn’t feel like she’d ever truly get beyond the barriers to her past.

“Don’t fight it. Let it happen naturally. But don’t push yourself to remember either,” he advised. “Be patient. You’ll remember when you’re ready.”

“And what can I do about the sleepwalking?” she asked. “Do you think it’s just a freak occurrence? To my knowledge, it’s never happened before.”

“I’ll write you a prescription for something to help you sleep. Sometimes the mind doesn’t shut off just because the rest of you does. Cade and Merrick will be watching you a lot more closely from now on, so I have confidence that I won’t have to worry about you walking into the streets,” he said with a smile.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely. “You’re a good friend, Dallas.”

His features softened. “I don’t want you to be too hard on yourself, Elle. You’ve been through a lot, and you can’t expect to just bounce right back from that. Cut yourself some slack, and lean on Cade and Merrick.”

She smiled for the first time since the guys had taken her on the picnic. “I plan to. I promise. They’re pretty good boulders to prop on.”

“Boulders?” Cade asked. He glanced at Merrick. “Were we just insulted?”

The two men stood in the background, silently observing Dallas as he spoke with Elle. Until now. They moved forward as Dallas completed his discussion with Elle.

“What do you think, Dallas?” Merrick asked in a serious tone.

Dallas sighed. “This isn’t my area of expertise. I’d like to be able to do a CT scan just to check for any damage to her brain, but for obvious reasons, that’s not possible. In all likelihood, it’s a simple matter of her mind protecting her from the horror she endured at her attacker’s hands. Will she ever remember? I can’t say. It’s probably dependent on her
desire
to remember.”

Her cheeks flushed, and she ducked her head. They all knew she didn’t want to remember. She’d been brutally honest about that fact.

“So I’m standing in the way of my own recovery,” she said quietly.

Dallas shook his head. “I stand by my assertion that you’ll remember when you’re ready. It’s only been seven months, Elle. That’s not very long. It takes many women years to come to terms with being raped. We don’t even know what else you went through.”

She blew out her breath and nodded her understanding.

He pulled out a prescription pad and scribbled down an order for medication. But then he took another blank sheet, flipped it over and scrawled something over the paper.

“I’m giving you the name of a therapist. She’s a friend of mine, and I’ll only contact her if you give me permission. I trust her, and she’d be someone good for you to talk to. Maybe she can help you more than I can.”

“Thanks,” she said softly. “I’ll consider it.”

Dallas touched her cheek and then rose. “Time for me to head home. I’m due at work in just a few hours.”

“Thanks for coming by, Dallas,” Merrick said. “We appreciate it.”

“Not a problem,” Dallas returned. “I’ll see you all later. Call me if anything pops up or if you have any concerns.”

“Will do,” Cade promised.

Elle watched as Merrick walked Dallas out to his car, and then she sagged back onto the couch, closing her eyes.

She was a complete clusterfuck—to borrow one of the guys’ favorite expressions. It was certainly an appropriate term for her life and her situation.

It made her head hurt to think of all the ways she wasn’t able to give Cade and Merrick what they deserved. But she needed what they gave to
her
. It was the only thing keeping her together. If it weren’t for them, she would have shattered a long time ago.

“What do you say we try to grab a few hours of sleep before we have to get up for Merrick’s training and work?” Cade asked as they waited for Merrick to return.

She nodded, too tired to even voice the words.

He extended his hand down to Elle’s.

“Come on, sweetheart. It’s been one hell of a day. Let’s get you into bed and between me and Merrick, which is just where you belong.”

C H A P T E R     T W E N T Y - T W O

ELLE STARED DUBIOUSLY AT THE medicine bottle that Cade had picked up from the pharmacy and then quietly shoved it into the bathroom drawer. In the few days since the sleepwalking episode, she’d been leery of taking medication. So far, there hadn’t been a reoccurrence of the event, and unless there was, she wanted to stay away from drug-induced sleeps.

The guys had moved her into Cade’s room, though she still kept her clothes in the spare bedroom. Even the toiletries she’d kept in the hall bathroom had now been moved to the ensuite bathroom in Cade’s bedroom.

After checking her appearance, she straightened the camisole pajama top and then smoothed her hands down the soft, cotton bottoms.

Most people thought in terms of forever. She was on a day-to-day basis, afraid to look further than the present for fear of what the future held.

It was disconcerting to have no past or future and not to know what more than a few hours would bring.

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door.

“Elle? Honey, everything okay in there?”

She opened the door to Cade, who loomed just outside, and offered him a smile.

“Just fine. Was brushing my teeth.”

He swept his mouth over hers, tasting the mint from the toothpaste.

“Ready for bed?”

She let him lead her to the king-size bed, and she crawled up, positioning herself in the middle.

“Where’s Merrick?” she asked, not seeing him.

“He’s showering in the other bathroom.”

Cade slid in next to her and held out his arm. Accepting the silent invitation, she snuggled into his embrace, seeking the warmth and comfort of his chest.

“Take your medicine?” he asked.

She hesitated. “No. I didn’t want it.”

Cade sighed. “There’s nothing wrong with taking the pills. If they help you sleep better and keep you from sleepwalking or putting yourself in a dangerous situation, you should take them.”

“We’ll see how it goes,” she said. “If… If I need them, I’ll take them.”

He kissed her temple. “Fair enough.”

Merrick walked into the bedroom toweling his hair dry. He was wearing boxers and no shirt, and she stared, mesmerized by the beauty of his physique.

He tossed aside the towel, ran his hand over his head and then turned back for the light switch.

“Ready for lights-out?” Merrick asked.

“Yeah,” Cade replied.

Merrick hit the switch, dousing the room in darkness, and then the bed dipped beside Elle as Merrick climbed in next to her.

It was instinctive to move from Cade’s embrace to Merrick’s. She molded her body against the hard contours of Merrick’s chest and nestled her head underneath his chin.

She loved the feeling of being securely between the two men. She’d slept better the last few nights than she had since she’d come here.

She turned over, pressing her back to Merrick’s chest. He put his hand over her belly and anchored her firmly against him, pulling her behind into his groin.

In the dark, she reached for Cade, her hand sliding up his arm until she was touching both men. Cade took her hand, pulled it up to his mouth and pressed his lips warmly to her fingers.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“Love you too, sweetheart,” Cade said, his breath blowing over her forehead.

She’d very nearly drifted off when the peal of a cell phone startled her fully awake. Behind her, Merrick let out a curse and sat up, turning the lamp on.

“Goddamn it. Not tonight.”

Cade’s phone went off, and he reached to pick it up.

“Alarm’s gone off at Bo’s dealership. We better get down there to check it out. Might want to call this one in ahead of time.”

Elle shook the sleep fuzz from her head and pushed herself up into a cross-legged position.

“I don’t think we should leave Elle alone,” Merrick said bluntly. “I’ll go. You stay with her.”

Cade held up his hand. “You aren’t going alone. Call it in and let the police deal with it.”

“The alarms will still have to be reset.”

Cade blew out his breath and glanced at Elle.

“I’ll be fine,” Elle protested.

Over the last seven months, the guys had gotten called out several times in the middle of the night. It wasn’t uncommon.

She could see her assertion hadn’t inspired confidence in the two men.

“I’m not leaving you here alone,” Merrick said firmly. “I don’t think you understand what seeing you walk out of this house, completely unaware of the potential danger, did to me the other night.”

“I won’t go to sleep,” she said. “You know I never do when you’re gone anyway. All the other times you’ve been called out, I’ve waited up for you. You’re wasting time, and you need to get out of here.”

“She’s right, Merrick. We don’t go out alone. That’s the deal. You know it,” Cade argued.

“Christ. I don’t like this,” Merrick said even as he got out of bed to pull on his jeans.

Cade grabbed Elle’s cell phone from the nightstand and tossed it to her. “Keep that close, honey. Call us if you need anything at all. We’ll keep you posted on how long we’ll be out.”

Then he leaned in to kiss her before pushing back and hurrying to dress.

“You two worry too much,” she admonished. “I’ll be fine. Go on and get done so you can come back to me.”

Merrick turned, tucking his shirt in. “You can count on that, baby.”

“Did you call it in?” Merrick asked as they neared Bo Cameron’s used car lot.

The building was new, and Cade and Merrick had advised Bo against having a brand new showroom built in a neighborhood that was as questionable as the one he’d chosen to open his business in.

The area was run-down and high in crime. Vandalism was common, but add in the lure of the automobiles on the lot, and it was a recipe for theft.

“I asked for a squad car to meet us there.”

“I don’t like this,” Merrick muttered.

“The situation or leaving Elle?”

“Neither.”

Cade went silent as they pulled up to the lot.

“Look, Cade! Over there.”

Merrick pointed as Cade slammed on the brakes. The door of one of Bo’s vehicles was open, and it was obvious someone was trying to hotwire the car.

Cade and Merrick jumped from the SUV and sprinted toward the gate. They hurdled it just as two hooded figures popped up from the vehicle and started running in the opposite direction.

Merrick pointed right to send Cade after one while Merrick broke off in pursuit of the other intruder.

Son of a bitch but this wasn’t part of the job description.

In the distance, a siren sounded. It spooked the guy in front of Merrick enough that he hesitated, trying to decide which way to run. It was enough time for Merrick to flatten him with a flying tackle.

The two men hit the ground with enough force to jar Merrick’s teeth. He had no idea if the intruder was armed, and he wasn’t taking any chances. He quickly disabled the struggling would-be thief and cuffed him.

He sat on top of him for a long moment while he caught his breath. Then he yelled across the distance for Cade.

Moments later, an officer ran up, gun drawn. Merrick quickly identified himself and held his hands up so the cop would know he wasn’t a threat.

Cade came over shoving the other hooded figure in front of him.

The two immediately started mouthing off, swearing that Cade and Merrick had attacked them. That they were innocent and that they’d been set up. Merrick rolled his eyes and got off the squealing perp and dragged him up to push him toward the police officer.

The officer called for backup, and the three men started for the patrol car, the two thieves cuffed and stumbling along in front of them.

“You have no idea who you’re dealing with,” one of the lowlifes yelled back.

“Yeah, yeah,” Cade growled. “Save it for someone who gives a shit.”

When they approached the squad car, another sped up, lights flashing. The car pulled in just ahead of the first patrol car on the scene, and the officer hurried out to assist.

Of the two thieves, one was a scrawny, scruffy guy about five foot six. But the other was a damn brick wall. As one cop took the smaller man to stuff him into the back of the patrol car, Cade and Merrick assisted the officer in getting the gorilla into the back of the other car.

As soon as they got close to the patrol car, the bigger man started resisting. The officer pulled pepper spray just as Cade and Merrick slammed the guy into the side of the car, bending him over the trunk.

“Don’t add resisting and assault to the charges you’re already facing, dumbass,” Merrick bit out.

The hood fell away, revealing a bald, heavily tattooed skull. The thief bared his teeth, the gold glinting in the lights from the dealership.

“You’ll regret this shit,” the perp hissed. “No one messes with me and gets away with it.”

“Guess what? We just did,” Cade said.

The officer shoved the guy into the back seat with help from Cade and Merrick. The guy snarled and spewed threats and expletives until spit frothed around his lips. The officer slammed the door, effectively silencing the tirade.

“I’ll need you to come down and give your statements,” the officer said.

Merrick sighed, knowing the drill. “We’ll follow you back. I’d like to make this as quick as possible. Have someone waiting at home.”

“Don’t we all,” the officer said.

Merrick pulled out his cell as he and Cade headed back to the SUV.

“You calling Elle to let her know what’s up?” Cade asked as he slid into the driver’s seat.

“Yeah. I don’t want her to worry. And I want to make sure she’s awake.”