The Way to Game the Walk of Shame (28 page)

Assuming that Evan did want to give our relationship a shot, how would this work? I was already saving everything I had for rent and stuff in New York. I didn’t have extra money to visit Evan. And I couldn’t imagine Brandon giving him any money to see me. Evan would probably have to work overtime.

And would it even be enough? Relationships were hard enough as it was without being a thousand miles apart. Literally. Columbia was 1,215 miles away from Troy University. I looked it up.

Even if we could somehow work it out, he still had to use some money to visit his mom as much as he could. I couldn’t take that away from her. I didn’t want to distract him and have him worry about me, too. Be his burden. He had enough on his plate already. School. A new job. His family. His new relationship with his dad. This was his chance to reconnect with him. He’d waited so long for this, and he couldn’t screw any of it up.

My fist clenched around the coin necklace around my throat.
I won’t let him.

Slipping my phone back into my pocket, I sighed. The thought of not seeing Evan every day was painful. I was already missing him. But if there were this many obstacles, this many problems now, what would it be like later? It was better to end it now, here, before I—we—did something stupid. It was the best thing for everybody. Our futures were already set. Our dreams were on the right course. It’s just too bad that they were in opposite directions.

Making up my mind, I took off his necklace—the first time I’d taken it off since he put it on for me.

Mrs. Willard came back into the living room just as I got up. “Are you leaving already? I thought you were going to talk to Evan?”

“No, I have to go home.” My fingers ran through my hair, tugging it forward a bit to hide the fact that I was lying. And the tears that I was fighting back. I held out the necklace to her. “Could you just give this back to him for me?”

She took it from me with a confused look on her face. “But—”

I backed up out of her reach. “I—I really have to go. Thanks for everything, Mrs. Willard.”

Before she could say my name or try to call me back, I ran out of the house. I jumped into Mom’s car and drove home, all the while trying my hardest to keep the tears from pouring out. Because I knew once I let them go, they wouldn’t stop.

When I got home, Dad was waiting for me on the front porch with a huge grin on his face. In his hands was a large yellow envelope with a Columbia return-address label. It was thick and bulky. Way too bulky to just be a rejection letter.

Which meant that they accepted me. Finally, everything I had worked for, suffered for, and given up was all worth it. I got what I always wanted. My dream of going to Columbia and living in New York was finally coming true. I should have been elated. Ecstatic.

So why did I feel so empty? Like I could practically see the thousand miles between New York and Florida paved out in front of me.

Dad waved the packet around. “I wanted to wait for you to come home to celebrate, but I couldn’t—wait, those aren’t happy tears. Taylor, what’s wrong?”

Without answering him, I ran right into his arms and burrowed my face into his shoulder. All I could do was hold him tighter as the tears poured out.

27

-Evan-

After I dropped Lauren off, I sat on the beach for hours to clear my head, but it didn’t work. For once in my life, not even the water could make me forget my problems. I was still pissed at Taylor, but I wanted to see her. To talk to her. My fingers ached—literally ached—to feel hers. Time dragged on until each second was like an hour, each hour was like a day, and—well, you get the point. And all because I missed Taylor. Really missed her. Like I was seconds away from writing sonnets about her. Yeah, I don’t know what the hell she did to me. God, I should have been annoyed at her for screwing up my life if I didn’t love her so much.

It was way after dinnertime when I finally got home. Mom attacked me as soon as I came through the door. Her hands were covered with flour. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to call you for ages.”

“Sorry, I had it turned off.” So I wouldn’t be tempted to call Taylor. I grabbed an oatmeal cookie from the counter. “What’s wrong?”

“Taylor was here.”

The cookie crumbled in my fist as I stared at her. “Why? When?”

“She was looking for you earlier. Said she needed to talk to you about something.” With a sigh, she nodded at something on the counter. “And she wanted to give you back your necklace.”

“My neck—” On top of a pile of magazines, I spotted the silver chain nestled around the twisted coin. No. I grabbed it from the counter, not wanting to believe that this was really my necklace. That she actually gave it back to me. That it was all really over. “Shit. I screwed everything up with her.”

My fist hit the granite countertop in frustration. Maybe if I had just let her talk. Maybe I could have been able to change her mind. I bet stupid Brian would have listened to her. Stupid, tall Brian who’s always there for her.

God, I hated that dude.

Mom’s hand curved around my arm, leaving a dusty flour print on my forearm. “Then fix it with her. Go tell her you’re sorry for whatever you did.”

I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. She picked Brian. She’s going to be with him now.”

“Are you sure? Because she looked really sad when I told her that you were moving in with your dad.”

My head snapped up to look at her. “You told her what?”

Her fingers laced together and white dust fell onto the tile floor. “Yeah … it was an accident. I thought you already told her about it yourself!”

I meant to. I was going to tell Taylor all about Dad and my plans and the fact that I actually
had
plans because of her. And that my plans for the future now included her. But when she told me about kissing Brian, everything just disappeared. I didn’t know what to do.

I was kind of hurt that she didn’t stay to talk to me. To tell me she was proud of me. To break up with me in person. But what did I expect? She tried, but I was the one who left first.

Maybe I shouldn’t have run away. I should have just stayed to talk to her. That would have been the responsible thing to do. At least then she could have given me back the necklace, and we could have said goodbye properly. And I could have hugged her one more time.

Or I could have gone to Brian’s house and kicked his ass. Yeah, that’s what I should have done.

Still not too late.

*   *   *

Later that night as I laid on my bed, I stared at the stars on my ceiling. My hand clenched the necklace so tightly that the edge of the coin cut into my palm. I didn’t care about the pain in my hand. I didn’t even care when Brandon came into my room earlier to gleefully drop off a calendar marking off the days until graduation, when I would move out.

There was another knock, and Mom poked her head in for the tenth time in the past hour. “You have company.”

I shot upright but scowled at the sight of Aaron instead of Taylor at the door. “Oh, hi.”

Instead of leaving, Mom just lingered at the doorway while Aaron sat down on the desk chair. It squeaked a little under his weight. “Your mom told me everything. Look, we’re all used to you making an ass of yourself, because that’s not really anything new. Usually, it’s kind of fun to watch. But this moping is just sad.”

Mom cleared her throat. “Honey, what Aaron is trying to say is that we’re just worried about you.”

“Yeah, worried.”

“Well, I’m fine. And I’m not moping. I just don’t feel like doing anything.” I flopped on my back and went back to counting the stars.

He rolled his eyes. “Dude, you’re the mayor of Mopetown. And for no reason. Taylor’s not with Brian.”

“How would you know?”

The chair squeaked even more. “Carly told me. I called her to ask.”

I rolled on my side to stare at him. “What else did she say?”

“Carly? She just told me that Taylor is definitely not with Brian and uh…” He coughed and glanced at Mom. “Basically, she told me to tell you to man up and get Taylor back before it’s too late. Or at least that’s the PG version of what she said.”

A spark of energy hit me, and I sat up. So … she wasn’t with Brian. Yet. “Before it’s too late. Does Carly mean before she starts dating Brian?”

“Actually I don’t think she intends to date him. Ever,” Mom spoke up from the doorway.

“What do you mean?”

Her wide gray eyes were the picture of innocence. Fake innocence. “I’m not sure, but I think I heard that Brian turned down that scholarship to NYU. Now, I’m not positive, but wouldn’t it make sense for him to
go
to NYU if they were going to date later on?”

“Where did you hear that from?”

“Just … around.”

“But…” I stared down at the necklace in my hands. I didn’t doubt Mom’s sources—whoever they were—for a second. But if Taylor wasn’t going to be with Brian, then why was she giving me back my necklace? Why didn’t she stay to talk to me? What was she thinking?

Unless … she thought she was doing this for me.

Everything clicked into place. I saw everything through her logical, practical eyes. This was all for me. She probably thought she was being noble by stepping back. Letting me do whatever I wanted to do without being a burden. That noble idiot. I wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for her. Have this chance. I needed her by my side, cheering me on and nagging me to be better.

The problem was, how would I change her mind? “What should I do now?”

With an irritated sigh, Mom marched over to sit on the edge of the bed. “You do whatever you have to and get her back! Why would you want to lose a girl who’s so sweet, smart, beautiful, polite—”

“Stubborn, rude, nagging, and snarky,” I finished.

Aaron snorted. “You two are so perfect for each other.”

Mom had a smug grin plastered on her face. “You love her, don’t you?”

“Yeah.” There was no denying it. I loved her smile. I loved her sitting next to me, fidgeting with Rudy’s stereo buttons. Heck, I even loved her complaining to me about my schoolwork. It was a Friday, and all my homework was finished because doing it made me feel closer to her.

And to think she was worried about her reputation before. My reputation was shot to hell because of her. See what I meant about Taylor screwing up my life?

Mom patted the top of my head like I was a kid again. “You’re not too bad, either. You have my genes, so you’re pretty handsome. And you’re smart, even if you don’t like to show it. Really lazy, though. Don’t really think with your head much. Impulsive. And stubborn. God, you remember when you broke your arm on the jungle gym when you were eight? Or the second time two months later, because you wanted to show me your arm was fine when the doctor told you it wasn’t?”

“Uh, are these insults supposed to help me feel better?”

She shook her head. “What I’m trying to say is that you’re stubborn. And it was obvious earlier that she loves you, too. I could see it written all over her face. Now go get her back.”

Mom was right. “So should I go over to her house? Get her flowers? Candy?” Pizza and blue cotton candy would probably be better.

Aaron cleared his throat. “Carly said you need to bring your A game. I mean, you really need to romance the crap out of her.”

I snorted. Yeah, that sounded like her. “Then did she have something in mind?”

“Dunno. Something really big and grand to show her that you’re not afraid of what anyone else thinks as long as she’s with you. But still something that’s personal and sweet so that she knows that you’re thinking of her. How about skywriting over the school! Or a picnic in a hot-air balloon!”

“Taylor gets scared when we’re on a bridge. I’m pretty sure she would die before getting in a hot-air balloon. A dead girlfriend really
isn’t
what I’m aiming for right now.” I felt a little dazed. I had
no
idea what to do. Big and grand but personal and sweet? Dude, what was I supposed to do with that?

His face fell, and he spun around in my chair. “Okay, maybe not that, then.”

Mom leaned back on her elbows. “You know, when your dad asked me out, he took me to this fair in the next town. Or tried to. His truck broke down halfway there, and it started raining when he was fixing it, so we were both soaking wet. He had a blanket in the back, and—”

Oh god.
I leaped to my feet. My arms crossed in an X in front of my face to try to make her stop. “Please don’t finish that sentence.” I didn’t want to think about my parents in the back of any truck. I paced over to my desk. My fist lightly smacked against the back of the chair as I turned toward Aaron. “I’m surprised you had the guts to call Carly in the first place. Aren’t you scared of her?”

Aaron snorted again. “Hell no. I’m on the football team. She’s barely half my weight and—and I actually didn’t
call
her. I texted her.”

“Yeah, you sound really tough now.” I held the necklace up in front of my face and watched it spin around. It caught the light and reflected like a real star. “Thanks, man. You, too, Mom. I really appreciate your help.”

Mom beamed and reached out to give Aaron a high five. “Anything you need, sweetie. We’re here for you.”

He nodded. “You know we got your back.”

28

{Taylor}

“So did you and Evan really break up?”

Kimmy poked her head in my room, looking even tinier than usual in an oversize purple sweater. Her dark hair stuck out of the side of her ponytail, making her head look oddly shaped. She’d done her own hair this morning. At least she got an A for effort. I turned away from the bookcase, dropped the dust rag on the ground, and sat on the bed. “What are you doing? I thought you went to the store with Mom.”

“She had too many errands to run, so I told her I’ll just stay at home with you.” Without an invitation, she came into my room and leaped on my bed, making me bounce a few times.

I didn’t mind. I was happy for her company. Any company, really. I had talked to Carly a few times over the weekend, but she was always busy with something. And she said she could only take my moping in small doses. She promised to be back to lend a sympathetic ear tomorrow at school, but not a day sooner.