The Vampire Blog (13 page)

‘So what's it like being so colossally brilliant?' I asked.

‘Sarcasm,' he muttered, ‘is not helpful. Now, number one on my list is, you need to do some reading. That's dead easy, even for you.' He threw a pile of books and magazines on my bed. ‘But the important thing is to get the half-vampire vibe.' Then he let out a loud howl.

‘Hey, what did you do that for?' I asked.

‘You've got to look after your howl, so practice is very important. I do forty howls a day.'

‘I bet you're popular with the neighbours,' I quipped.

‘Extremely popular, actually,' he said a bit huffily. ‘Now, shall I move on to number two on my list?'

‘No,' I said firmly.

‘Bad attitude equals failure, good attitude means success. I'm going to leave that thought with you.'

‘It's all right, you can take it with you.' Karl made as if to leave and then came back. ‘You didn't like what I said about that girl, Tallulah, did you?'

‘I never gave it a second thought,' I said. Yeah, OK – a great big whopping lie. But I didn't want Karl to know he'd got to me.

‘I'm completely right about her,' Karl said. ‘You'll see.'

5.25 p.m.

I got up and was pottering around my bedroom when I saw Tallulah hovering right outside my house. I quickly brushed my hair, expecting her to ring on the doorbell any second. Only she never did. Instead, she just disappeared.

So why come all the way to my house and then scarper. What was the point of that?

5.35 p.m.

I've worked it out. She's obviously really
really missing me – and who can blame her? – but is too shy to call in so soon after her last visit.

5.38 p.m.

Just call me the love god.

5.42 p.m.

I've sent Tallulah a cheeky little text saying: ‘Good luck with the meeting tonight, wish I could come along, but I'm off school until Wednesday.' I ended by saying it was great to see her yesterday. I didn't put love or anything. But I wanted to say something more than regards. So I wrote ‘very best wishes' with a tiny x beside it.

9.05 p.m.

She hasn't replied – I wasn't expecting her to, actually. But anyway, she hasn't.

9.25 p.m.

Spent the day swotting up on vampires. Read tons. And this evening I let out a vampire howl which wasn't completely terrible. Mum and Dad were getting quite excited.
Mum said, ‘Tomorrow morning we want to see you sporting a yellow fang.' That'd mean I'd crossed over, of course. And I wanted to see it too. That's why I've been chanting ‘I'm a half-vampire' all day.

I'm even trying to get used to my half- vampire name. I suppose there are worse names than Ved. I just haven't thought of any yet.

11.15 p.m.

Dad's crept in again, just to check the vampire hasn't somehow slipped into the house and attacked me.

Now, I don't ever want to meet that vampire again. But I'd so love to know who it is. Especially as it's someone I actually knew. He or she could be any age too. So it might even be a person in my class. No, it's Mr ‘I shall be watching you closely' Townley. He's got to be the number one suspect. It's a good job I'm not going to school for a few days, then. He won't be able to get at me.

11.35 p.m.

Now Mum's been sneaking a look at me.
Wouldn't it be great if this is the last night we'll have to worry about a vampire visitor?

And tomorrow I might wake up sprouting one yellow fang.

Monday 22 October
6.45 a.m.

No fang!

7.05 a.m.

Mum and Dad rush in, all hopeful. They can't believe I'm still fangless. They don't say anything but Mum draws back my curtains with smouldering disappointment.

7.08 a.m.

I feel bad for them, blog.

I feel bad for me.

It's no fun hovering like this between two identities. I really don't know what I am at
the moment. And I could stay like this for days, if not months, even years.

9.15 a.m.

Karl brings in still more vampire books for me to read. Feel as if I'm revising for an exam I'll never pass.

10.45 a.m.

Karl hardly speaks to me today. This is great news – only I sense even he has given up on me now.

2.00 p.m.

I come downstairs, after which I'm out of breath. My energy is returning very slowly. Dad is home all day today. He won't say why. But his face is riddled with anxiety.

2.50 p.m.

My parents are talking together in hushed whispers. I crawl out towards the kitchen to try and catch what they're saying because it's bound to be about me. But they hear me and quickly change the subject. Later they start whispering again, this time with
Karl. Something is definitely going on.

4.25 p.m.

Joel has just called round.

‘Now, first of all,' he announced, ‘I want you to breathe all over me and cough right in my face too. I'm just in the mood for a nice, fat virus as I really fancy a week off school, lolling at home. In fact, I can't think of anything better.'

‘You wouldn't like this virus,' I said.

‘Yes, I would. So come on, don't be stingy, share it around.'

‘Actually it's not a very infectious virus,' I said.

He exclaimed indignantly: ‘What, you're a total let-down! And is it true you caught it from that pizza at the meeting?'

‘No, it isn't,' I said at once.

‘Oh, I thought your slice of pizza was just crawling with bugs and germs. And I was wondering how you managed to get so lucky.' Joel lowered his voice. ‘So where is he then? This mad cousin Tallulah was telling me about.'

‘Oh, I've hardly seen him today,' I said.

‘Shame, because I love loonies – well, I'm friends with you, aren't I?' I made as if to hit him and then asked about last night's M.I.S. meeting.

‘But it was cancelled at the last minute,' he said.

‘Why?' I asked.

Joel shrugged. ‘Tallulah never gave a reason, just said it was postponed until Wednesday night. So do you think you'll be able to make that one?'

‘Yeah, I should think so,' I said.

‘Well then, I've got this for you. It's top secret, so I had strict instructions not to open it. This contains your next challenge. And although I was very tempted, I haven't even had a peek, can you believe that?'

He handed me an envelope with FOR THE ATTENTION OF MARCUS HOWLETT written across it.

‘You're supposed to open it after I've gone, but we can ignore that bit, can't we?'

‘Definitely,' I said, ripping open the envelope, sort of chuffed that Tallulah had thought up this new challenge – at least that
proved she'd been thinking about me – and who can blame her?

Then I stared at the message, totally stunned by what it said. For it wasn't a challenge at all. Instead, she'd written in block capitals:

MARCUS,
IT IS VITAL
I SEE YOU TONIGHT. MEET ME AT MONSTERS' MEETING PLACE AT SEVEN O'CLOCK. IT IS
VERY URGENT. TELL NO ONE
ABOUT THIS MESSAGE. COME ALONE. TALLULAH.

‘So what does it say then?' asked Joel.

And I really wanted to tell him. For it was such an extraordinary message. Why would Tallulah want to see me so urgently? What possible reason could she have? I badly needed to discuss this with someone, and Joel was the obvious choice.

But she'd underlined TELL NO ONE. So I said: ‘Oh, she's just saying she wants me to prepare properly for the meeting next time or I'll be chucked out.'

‘That's harsh,' said Joel at once. ‘It wasn't
your fault the friendly virus struck when it did.' He lowered his voice. ‘I know M.I.S. is her idea, and a brilliant one. But she's majorly bossy, isn't she?'

I could agree there: summoning me to the meeting place tonight seemed incredibly bossy. Only her message didn't quite sound like that. No, it was more worried and scared and practically begging, rather than commanding me to turn up. But why? Why?

‘You're looking dead worried,' said Joel suddenly.

‘No, not me,' I said airily.

‘Yes, you are, I can tell. But don't let her get to you. I'll have a think about a horror story and ring you up with it; and if the Bride of Dracula doesn't like that, we'll form our own alternative M.I.S. How about that?'

And then Mum, Dad and Karl piled in. Joel was introduced to Karl and then Dad said, ‘Hate to break things up, but we'd really like to have a little word with Marcus.'

‘That's OK,' said Joel. ‘If I'd known Marcus's bug wasn't infectious I wouldn't have bothered visiting him anyway.' Then he winked at me and added, half under his
breath, ‘And don't worry about this new challenge, I'll be in contact.'

This deputation of my parents and Karl now faced me.

‘Just to let you know,' said Mum a bit too brightly, ‘that your dad and I are popping up to London tonight.'

‘Why are you doing that?' I demanded at once.

A slight pause before Dad said, ‘We want to get some advice.'

‘About me?' I asked.

‘Yes,' said Dad. ‘Karl has given us the address of a consultant.'

‘A half-vampire consultant?' I said.

‘That's right,' said Dad. ‘The country's leading one. So we've done well getting an appointment with him. And then we're hoping he will come and see you.'

‘You make me feel a right freak.'

‘You're not exactly a freak,' began Karl.

‘You're not a freak at all,' said Mum firmly. ‘But your father and I just want to do the best for you. We shouldn't be long, but while we're away Karl will be in charge; all right?'

5.10 p.m.

With Mum and Dad out tonight, that leaves only Karl to sneak past when I go and meet Tallulah. Oh yeah, I'm definitely going. Well, I've got to know what this is all about.

6.30 p.m.

Mum and Dad have left. But Karl will probably turn into a half-human clamp. How can I possibly break away from him?

6.41 p.m.

The good news, the very, very good news – is that Karl has gone up to the attic to practise his howling. He likes to do forty every evening. He says he'll be down soon to question me about all the vampire stories I've been reading today. But right now he's left me on my own.

6.50 p.m.

You have to slam our front door shut and Karl might just hear that. So instead, I open the sitting-room window, which leads directly to the front garden. I scramble out and now I'm on my way to the woods.
Unfortunately, I'm moving at the pace of an arthritic snail.

7.00 p.m.

I've reached the woods at last. And it's suddenly hit me what a mad thing I'm doing. I'm returning at night to the very place the vampire attacked me last time. Only now I've got the energy level of a hundred-and-twenty year-old.

7.04 p.m.

Just had the strangest feeling that I'm being watched once more. I stumble forward as quickly as I can. Will I be calling Tallulah for help again? It was just so lucky she was in the woods before.

7.05 p.m.

A mad thought pops into my head, so insane I feel bad even writing it down. But here it is. What if it wasn't luck Tallulah popped up before? What if she'd been trailing me, waiting for the right moment to strike? And then after she'd had her fill of my blood she turned up again and cleverly pretended to rescue me?

And the secret message she sent me tonight is just a trap to get me into the woods again so she can have a blood top-up. I hastily swat such a thought away.

Tallulah, a vampire? Impossible.

7.15 p.m.

The cricket pavilion is just ahead. I'm not very late. And I'm sure Tallulah will have waited for me – now I'll find out what this urgent summons is all about.