The Unseemly Education of Anne Merchant (35 page)

“And I won’t just tell you.”

“Fine! It’s about…it’s about making deals with the devil.”

With that, Ben sets his eyes on mine. The pause, the sudden stillness is significant. Significant enough that I stop to think about what I’ve just said. And, instantly, swiftly, with the shocking abruptness of the lightning that flashes outside my window, I think about the Tuition Battle I witnessed only hours ago. The terrible exchanges parents made for their children’s lives. That’s what tuition is. An exchange—what Villicus wants for what a parent wants. Nothing more than a deal with the devil.

“So, we’re in
Hell,
and Villicus is the
devil
?”
I scoff.

“We’re not in Hell.”

“Then why does that book matter?”

“You
have to answer that.” Ben paces my floor now, taking care to stay away from the window. “Here’s what I can tell you. Villicus has built an empire on Wormwood Island. And he’s used my dad to help him, at least for the last five years. But like any dictator, he’s looking for more. And now, with you, I think he’s found it.”

I’m reminded that Ben said his family got in a car accident five years ago. In the madness of the evening, it nearly slipped my mind. Already I’ve pieced together that Ben died with his sister and mother in the car that day. But the timing still doesn’t make sense to me.

“Ben, answer me this. How long have you been at Cania?”

“Five years.”

“But you died when you were sixteen. And you appear to be sixteen now. When we’re vivified, do we not age?”

“The other students do. You will. But I don’t.” He leans against the wall. “I’m not a senior here, Anne. I’m just here.

That’s why I don’t live in the dorms. I’m not in competition for the Big V. As you may have noticed, the only classes I attend are classes I TA.”

I search his face and recall something Harper said once about Ben being too old for her. “You’re twenty-one.”

“I am.” Ben sits beside me on the bed. With a faint smile, he takes my hand in his. “Villicus trapped my dad into his service by offering him what he offers everyone.”

“A second chance with their child.”

“He
keeps
my dad here by promising to keep me alive, with his twist that I remain unaging. One year of my life in exchange for one year of my dad’s servitude. Year after year. It keeps me out of the competition; it keeps me from graduating and permanently expiring; but it also keeps me stuck on this island, eternally sixteen.” He rubs my hand between his. “I don’t blame my dad. I’m sure I’d do the same thing if I were in that situation and was offered, essentially, a miracle.”

“The exchange your dad made for your life was to work as Villicus’s recruiter?”

“Villicus wanted access to my dad’s wealthy network. At first, my dad just had to make a choice. That was the price he paid to get me in.”

“What kind of choice?”

Ben lowers his head. “He had to choose which of his two children would be vivified and join him on Wormwood.” His face is pale as his distressed gaze finds mine. “Jeannie died. I came back. And I don’t think he’s ever forgiven himself for not being able to bring Jeannie back, too.”

The front door slams downstairs, startling us both.

“Anne, I have to go,” Ben whispers, pulling away suddenly.

As if I could just let him leave now! He’s finally answering my questions. And, with every new answer, I have a new question he needs to address.

“You can’t go.” I’m unable to keep my voice down as I pull at the hand I still hold, as he starts for the window. “What else aren’t you telling me? You haven’t even said what Garnet gave up!”

Tugging his arm free, he bolts to the window and jerks at the lock on it. “Just don’t let Teddy know you know about all this, okay? Dear God, Anne, make sure he doesn’t know. I’ll get my dad to call your dad tonight, and we’ll figure out your situation tomorrow. First thing.”

Downstairs, Teddy shouts my name. The sound of footsteps bounding up the first flight of stairs follows. I scramble to join Ben at the window.

“Don’t go,” I plead. “I don’t care if Teddy uses this as a strike against me.”

“Well,” Ben whispers urgently as he struggles with the window, “I do care. If you’re going to stick around here, you’ll need your Guardian on your side. No two ways around it.”

Teddy bangs twice on my bedroom door. “You in there?”

Finally, the window gives. Ben slides it up. But he’s not fast enough. Teddy is already storming up the staircase, heaving and huffing as he leaps from midway up the stairs and, arms thrown wide apart, face distorted in the ugliest grimace, explodes into my room.

“I knew it!” Teddy shouts. I’ve never seen his expression so twisted, his boney face so gnarly and inhuman. He turns to Ben and points an accusatory finger. “You were told to bring her directly back to your house if you found her. Were you having your way with her instead?”

“What?” I cry.

“What garbage are you filling her mind with?” Teddy demands.

Either that terrible expression or my unhinged hatred for Teddy or the events of the day have caught up with me because I fly at that skinny German beanpole before another ugly word can slither off his pointy tongue. As violently as I can, I thrust his arm down, squishing his bony finger back against his palm, using all the force my stature allows to send him staggering to the staircase.

Ben is behind me in a flash, sprinting to my side just as Teddy grabs the railing to keep from falling. “Anne, don’t waste your energy.”

“Don’t touch me with those slut hands,” Teddy growls at me.

I slap Teddy hard across the face. So hard the loose skin of his cheek flaps. So hard the smacking sound echoes through the attic. He reels back.

“I
rejected
you, you pig,” I roar. “Don’t you ever call me that name or any name!”

“Anne,” Ben says, tugging at my arm. “He wants this from you. Villicus’s demons feed on shit like this.”

Still gripping the railing, Teddy pulls himself up and puffs his skinny chest out. His eyes reveal an inner madness, something more sinister than I’d given the pesky weasel credit for. He looks like he could kill Ben or kill us both.

“You told her, didn’t you?” Teddy storms, his voice shrill.

“She found out on her own.”

“I pieced it together.”

“We’ll see what Villicus has to say. You’ll both be in such a hell-storm.” He whirls to head down the stairs. “Expulsions! I don’t care how important you think your dad is, Zin!”

“No!” I holler, tearing free of Ben and chasing Teddy down the stairs. “No, please, he didn’t do anything!”

I know what getting expelled from this school means, and I can’t let that happen to Ben. My heels skid over the edges of the steps until I catch Teddy. My hand braces his arm, which is fiery hot. I whip his skinny body around.

“Get your hands off me,” he barks, shoving me with all his might.

With that one thrust, I lose my balance. My big toe, the only thing holding me to the stairs, succumbs under the weight of my tipping body. Without a blink, I find myself falling backward, watching Ben and Teddy disappear from my line of sight, watching as the beams of the ceiling pass by, as my hands clutch helplessly at the air while my body twists, as my heels lift up, as Ben shouts after me and even Teddy looks surprised.
I am falling.
Tumbling down. Hitting the hard edges of the wooden steps. First my back. Then my head. Then I don’t know what else because all I can feel is intense, brightly colored pain shooting down my spine. I topple down the rest of the staircase—I hear myself cry out—until I land in a heaping, heaving lump at the bottom. Teddy comes up on me fast. He shoves my limp, gasping body out of his way. I reach for him. But he is just beyond my grasp. And my hand won’t move. I try to scream. My voice is gone.

“Anne!” Ben calls, racing down the stairs as Teddy takes off down to the main floor.

I moan my response. The sudden pain is incredible. A white light flashes ahead. Am I dying again? I don’t remember dying the first time, so it’s hard to know. Is this it? Have I been in purgatory, and now I’m to be released to whichever of the two sides I’ve earned? Is that what those flashes of white are? Is that where the deep voice inside my ears is?

Ben stares into my eyes, whispering something I wish I could hear, but the sounds are too loud on the other side. He strokes my hair away from my face.

I hear him say only this: “Teddy’s going to tell Villicus. You need to go now. And you can’t ever come back. But I’ll never forget you.”

I shake my head, or I try to. How can I go? Where will I go? When will Ben join me there? I thought we couldn’t die here, couldn’t die twice.

His head lowers to mine, his parted lips closing the distance—and if I were capable of breathing, I would hyperventilate. His mouth, his perfectly formed mouth, is just an inch away. But I can’t enjoy this moment, can’t feel him as I want to. I try to shake my head as his unbelievable eyes come even closer, as he pauses unexpectedly.

Then, taking a deep breath, instead of kissing me, he whispers, “This is what I’ve wanted to tell you all along. Wake up, sweet Anne. Go home. It’s not your time.” His eyes search mine. “Close your eyes and wake up.”

A searing pain. A flash of white. And I’m gone.

twenty-two

NIGHTTIME IN HEAVEN

BEFORE ANYTHING COMES INTO FOCUS, BEFORE THE
pain in my head attacks, I notice white light. The sterile glow of fluorescent tube lighting fills the room in which I find myself. Blotches of sharper yellow pour over my body, over the white bedsheet folded neatly under my arms, over the narrow bed in which I lay, over the white walls around me, over the machines that beep and drip pale liquid into my veins. The pain follows. Behind my eyelids, I see the sharpest image of my head being split in two with an axe. I jerk my hand to clutch my head only to find my wrist restrained. I jerk my other wrist, but exhaustion owns my body, dividing my energy, dimming my movements. Straining to hold my eyelids open, I spy tethers on my wrists. My eyes discern shapes in muted colors but blur over the details as the objects in the room slowly come into focus. The pain makes me want to scream, but my throat, parched, allows little more than a moan. Inhaling deeply through my nose, I use all my strength—
so weak
—to force my eyelids wide.

Where am I?

This cannot be Hell. It cannot be Heaven. Because my dad is asleep in the chair next to my bed. And I’m pretty sure my dad’s still alive and well, living in Atherton.

“Dad?” I whisper. I can’t hear myself, so I try again, try to wiggle my tongue to wet my throat enough to speak. “Dad?” I hear myself this time and smile, but it feels like I haven’t moved my face in years. “Daddy?”

He shifts in his chair. Next to him are stacks of objects that don’t make sense. A tower of bricks. A boom box. A tambourine and symbols. A bucket with half-melted ice floating in it. All of my favorite books, family photo albums, stacks of CDs and DVDs, school textbooks. Perhaps I’m at the gates of Heaven, and this person who looks—and snores—like my dad is an angel in disguise, and I’m about to take some sort of test using all these weird objects. The afterlife is nothing like I’d expected.

“Angel?” I try.

He snorts and crosses his arms over his chest.

The white room is quiet. With my head swooning, I drag my slow-moving eyes to a window. It’s dark outside. Does it get dark in Heaven? Seems like it wouldn’t. But it’s always fiery in Hell, which would make it orange, not black outside. Plus, I don’t think I’ve been very bad; I’m sure I’m not destined for Hell. So this is Heaven. It’s nighttime in Heaven.

Bit by bit, I begin, in the silence, to recall everything that has just happened. Chasing Teddy to keep him from telling Villicus and getting Ben—and me—expelled. Falling down the stairs. Ben’s mouth so close to mine. And the words Ben said:
Close your eyes and wake up.

Ben told me to wake up just as Harper told me at the dance, after she’d broken my mom’s barrettes.
Wake up.

My eyes are heavy, too heavy to think any more about it. The gentle rhythm of my dad softly snoring in his chair lulls me. Sleep lures me back under.