Read The Unbearable Lightness of Being in Aberystwyth Online
Authors: Malcolm Pryce
Seren was sitting on the client’s chair, drinking tea. ‘Hi!’ she said and smiled. I slumped into the chair opposite.
‘I’ve run away.’
‘If you’re thinking of seeking your fortune in Aberystwyth, I wouldn’t advise it.’
‘I’ll probably go to Africa or something.’
‘That’s a good idea.’
‘I can’t go back anyway, Frankie Mephisto is looking for me. He offered some of the other girls money to tell him where I was. But they wouldn’t. There was a bloke in a wheelchair with him.’
‘This bloke in a wheelchair, was he a little skinny runty sort of boy, a real egghead clever clogs by the name of Brainbocs?’
‘I don’t know. He was just a boy in a wheelchair. I don’t have to go back, do I?’
‘Not for the time being.’
‘Cunybongy is going to kill me.’
‘Why?’
‘She’s found out I’m up the duff.’
‘So where have you been this past week?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Half the county has been looking for you.’
‘I had a blackout. I get them sometimes.’
‘So, where did you go?’
‘I don’t know.’
She brought out from her lap a scrap of newspaper. It looked a few days old. She pushed it across the desk and I read the headline. It was about the hunt for Rimbaud. ‘I found this on the floor of the bus shelter. I wanted you to know they’re looking for the wrong man.’
‘I don’t think you need to worry about that.’
‘But I do, don’t you see? He’s innocent, and they’re hunting him like a dog. It’s not fair.’
‘Seren—’
‘I won’t stand for it.’
‘What makes you so sure he’s innocent?’
‘I’m just sure that’s all. People are saying he kidnapped your girlfriend, but he had nothing to do with it.’
‘If he gave himself up he could put himself in the clear.’
‘Don’t be silly! He’d be stupid to do that.’
‘We just want to ask him some questions.’
‘Why? What makes him so important?’
‘He was the last person to see Myfanwy before she disappeared.’
‘You don’t know that, you’re just guessing.’
‘We’ve got a photo that shows him next to the car.’
‘Rimbaud would never do a thing like they’re saying he did.’
‘Tell me what makes you so sure.’
‘I just am, that’s all.’
‘You know where he is, don’t you?’
I looked her in the eye and she looked quickly away.
‘No! I’ve no idea. How should I know?’
‘You know where he is.’
‘Don’t.’
‘I tell you what. If you take me to where he is so I can talk to him I promise not to give him away.’
‘Yes you will, you’ll tell the police and they’ll all come …’
‘Where?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘He’s hiding somewhere down by the estuary, isn’t he?’
‘How would I know?’
‘Do you want to know how I know?’
‘No, it’s not of the slightest interest to me.’
‘OK.’
I didn’t say anything more. Seren tapped her fingers on the desk. Then reached out and took the scrap of newspaper and then thought better of it.
Then I said, ‘You wrote to the French teacher, didn’t you?’
She was pretending to be interested in the top of the desk but her face shot up when I said that.
‘Who told you I wrote to her?’
‘Don’t kid me any more, Seren.’
‘I’m not kidding you, I didn’t write to anyone, I’ve no idea who you’re referring to.’
‘And you’ve never met Rimbaud.’
‘No, never.’
‘So, why do you care?’
‘I … I … I just hate to see the innocent persecuted that’s all.’
I picked up the phone and dialled directory inquiries. ‘The number of Sister Cunégonde’s Waifery please. Thank you.’ I wrote it down and replaced the handset.
‘What are you doing?’
‘I’m turning you in.’
‘Why? I came here because I thought I could trust you.’
‘You can, but I can’t trust you, you’re lying. You know where Rimbaud is—’
‘But you really mustn’t worry about Myfanwy. She’s all right, I saw her in my dream. She’s fine. I saw her in a house and there was a dog in the garden, and a chocolate tree …’
I nodded seriously. ‘OK.’
‘Yes, I know, it sounds daft. But my dreams are special. They come true. She’ll be fine.’
‘Thanks, it’s a comfort.’
‘I know you don’t believe me.’
‘What happened when I was at the Waifery last time, the blood?’
‘My stigmata. It happened after Cunybongy cut my hair.’
‘Are you serious?’
‘Yes. I get it now and again. It started when I went to see the place where that girl died by the harbour – Bianca. I dream about her now and again, too. Cunybongy thinks I’m faking it to get attention, but I’m not. Really I’m not.’
‘Why did she cut your hair?’
‘She found my application form for Kousin Kevin’s Karnival Kween. She cut it while I was asleep.’
I nodded and absorbed the information. It could be true. It could be nonsense.
‘Rimbaud didn’t hurt Myfanwy.’
‘Just tell me what you know.’
‘I found him … he was in Meredith’s stable … he was hurt. He said he’d done his ankle in and couldn’t walk. So I took him some food and medicine. He was scared at first, he thought I would give him away to the police. But I didn’t. I used to go and see him every few days and take him food and things.’
‘For how long?’
‘About six weeks.’
‘Is he still there?’
‘Yes, but you mustn’t go. He’s made a man-trap. He showed me. It’s got three sharpened sticks like they used to make in Patagonia.’
‘What was he doing near the car the day Myfanwy disappeared?’
‘I told him not to go out, that there were men looking for him, but he … I don’t know … he couldn’t bear it hiding all the time in the stable so he went for a walk. That’s all.’
‘But he spoke to Myfanwy.’
‘Honestly, all he did was try and bum a cigarette. That’s all he did.’ Seren stared down at the hands in her lap, hands that were fumbling nervously.
‘You can do better than that.’
She looked up, and wetness formed and sparkled in her eyes, and suddenly I knew.
‘He stole the locket didn’t he?’
She didn’t say anything, just sat there like stone, the only movement the tears that brimmed over, the meniscus of water held suspended for a second like a bubble which then burst and a tear darted down each cheek like rain drops falling.
‘He stole the locket,’ I repeated, more to myself than to Seren. She nodded.
She ran the back of her hand across her nose and snivelled into it. Then she said, ‘It was because I was so kind to him … he came back from his walk and gave me the locket as a present. Then, when they started looking for Myfanwy, I knew what he’d done. I knew he must have stolen it …’
‘So you planted it on the dunes to send us all in the wrong direction and give him time to get away?’
She nodded. ‘So he could cross the bridge to Aberdovey.’
I walked round the desk and offered her a handkerchief. She looked up, cheeks glistening and said, ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘It’s OK.’
‘Are you going to arrest me?’
‘I’m going to take you somewhere where you’ll be safe. Where’s your coat?’
‘I gave it to Calamity.’
I blinked. ‘What?’
‘When I told her Frankie Mephisto was looking for me she asked if she could borrow my coat.’
‘IN SUCH A night as this …’ said Llunos.
‘When the sweet wind did gently kiss the trees
And they did make no noise, in such a night
Troilus methinks mounted the Troyan walls …’
He sat slumped lazily into the seat of the prowl car, one hand resting on the gear stick, the other resting on the door handle with his fingers holding the edge of the wheel. He squinted into the night, cars coming down Penglais, forgetting to dip.
He hummed a bit and then said, ‘
Jurassic Park
. It was the one with the dinosaurs, wasn’t it? They found the dinosaur DNA in a mosquito trapped in amber and cloned a dinosaur.’
‘That’s right.’
‘And you’re saying they’re going to clone Jesus?’
‘Yes.’
‘To save Myfanwy.’
‘Yes.’
‘That’s quite a scheme.’
‘I know. Frankie Mephisto tells Brainbocs to save Myfanwy. He says it will take a miracle, and Frankie says, so make me one.’
‘Then what?’
‘Bassett says Seren was chosen to give birth to the baby. I don’t know why they chose her. I’m sure Brainbocs had good reasons, he normally does. Maybe because of her blackouts. My guess is they drugged her and then did some sort of IVF
pregnancy – performed by that doctor whose body was washed up on Aberdovey beach.’
‘The guy from the Clinic for Women’s Problems.’
‘Yes.’
‘OK, so Frankie Mephisto has engineered the second coming, what do you want me to do?’
‘Arrest him.’
‘For what? Cloning Jesus? I’m fresh out of forms for that.’
‘I’m glad you think it’s funny.’
He darted a look across. ‘Trust me Louie, this is not an example of me thinking something is funny.’
We drove on in silence for a while and the police radio ran a report of a disturbance outside Meredith’s cottage. News that Seren was pregnant had spread and the gossips, unaware of the divine explanation, had accused Meredith of responsibility. And, of course, the same gossips alleged that he was her father too, so it was sort of bingo for the gossips. Meredith had lain with his own daughter and sired a child by her, an abomination. Although probably good fun to get upset about. A deputy had been despatched to disperse a stone-throwing mob that had broken some of Meredith’s windows.
‘How did they find out she was pregnant?’ I asked Llunos.
‘She told her best friend in secret and she told her best friend and she told her best friend and so it went on until it reached the ears of a best friend that didn’t also happen to be a best friend of Seren, and she told her mum, and she told a neighbour who told the rest of the village. I expect news has reached Hawaii by now.’
We skidded to a halt outside the entrance to the Waifery and sprayed the walls with loose gravel. The sister on the door said they were not admitting visitors tonight and Llunos flashed his buzzer and said something rude. Her jaw dropped but no words came out. Sister Cunégonde was in her office, sitting at her desk doing nothing, just staring gloomily at the door as if she’d been
expecting something to come through it that wasn’t nice. She looked pale.
‘He’s not here,’ she said. ‘He was here earlier, but he’s gone.’
‘And who would that be?’ said Llunos, sitting himself down on the corner of her desk.
‘Frankie Mephisto. That’s who you want isn’t it?’
‘Maybe,’ said Llunos. ‘How’s the fish pond?’
She winced.
‘You wouldn’t know, would you?’ I said. ‘You wouldn’t know about Pope Gregory and the six thousand skulls.’
Llunos picked up a set of knitting needles lying on the desk. Two little white woollen things hung from it. Booties.
‘Expecting a happy event, are we?’ he asked.
‘Well, you can’t expect the poor mite to go barefoot.’
‘Why not? It wouldn’t be the first time.’
‘What do you want?’
‘We want to know where Myfanwy is.’
‘How should I know.’
‘Frankie Mephisto knows.’ I said, ‘I thought he might have told you.’
‘He doesn’t tell me anything.’
‘That’s right, I forgot. He’s been blackmailing you for weeks now and forgot to tell you why.’
‘Oh, he told me that.’
‘Maybe you’d like to share it with us.’
‘He wants to adopt Seren’s baby.’
There was a pause. No one had thought of that.
‘This would be the infant Jesus, I take it,’ said Llunos.
‘That’s right. I laughed in his face when he told me about the crazy scheme he cooked up. I told him it was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard. He said it wasn’t stupid, Jesus was going to save Myfanwy. Oh yes, I said, what if He doesn’t feel like it? He said, He’ll feel like it all right, He’ll do as He’s told. No’s not in my dictionary. I said I can’t imagine what makes you think Jesus will
help you. I’ve been married to Him for forty years and He’s never lifted a finger to help me.’
I cast a look up at her alabaster husband. It was probably my imagination but I’m sure He rolled his eyes and I heard a disembodied voice in my head saying, ‘Women eh? Can’t live with them, can’t shoot ’em.’