The Sex Surrogate (24 page)

I
slid backward, watching his eyes, then put my arms up over my head.
Material gone, he looked down at me, his eyes closing as he took a
deep breath. “Perfect,” he said, his hands moving up to
cover my breasts. He leaned forward, planting a kiss between then.
“Thank you for sharing yourself with me,” he said
quietly, making the insides of my belly feel wobbly.

My
hand moved to the back of his head, slipping into his hair. “Thank
you for being so patient.” I slid further down his legs, giving
me access to his chest. I slid off his jacket, then unbuttoned his
shirt, running my hands over the skin underneath.

Because,
in that moment, he was mine.

Maybe
only for the night.

Maybe
only in my mind.

But
he was mine.

And
I wanted to memorize every inch of him.

He
lifted me, placing me down on the bed and standing next to it,
removing his shoes, his belt, his pants, then finally... his boxer
briefs.

At
the sight of his hard cock, I felt the tension coil slightly. Nerves.
Not quite panic, but hinting at it.

Then
he moved in beside me, slipping under the covers, pulling me onto my
side, then running his hands over me. Lightly. Just barely touching.
And it felt like every one of my nerve endings was reaching out for
him, trying to grab him, hold him closer.

He
pressed me back onto my back, leaning over me and kissing down my
neck, over my breasts, taking the nipples gently in his mouth and
sucking, then continuing down over my ribs, my stomach, down each of
my thighs. Until I was writhing. Until my hands were grabbing at him,
trying to pull him back up to me.

He
smiled, turning away into the bedside table and coming back with a
condom foil, opening it and pulling it on. “This doesn't mean
anything,” he said, kissing my lips softly. “You can take
as long as you need.”

But
I didn't need a long time.

I
didn't even need a minute.

I
needed him. All of him.

I
reached for his shoulders, pulling him until he followed and came
over me, holding himself up my his forearms. My hands drifted down
his back, over his muscles. Then my thighs parted, letting his body
slide between. I felt my sex clench hard at the contact.
Anticipating. Wanting it so badly.

Chase
shifted his hips and his cock pressed against me, hard, just stroking
up my cleft in the most excruciatingly slow pace possible.

My
hands settled on the backs of his shoulders, my hips grinding against
his. “Chase...” I murmured, his name full of all the
need.

“You're
sure?” he asked, eyes heavy, the muscle in his jaw ticking.

I
had never been more sure of anything in my life.

“Yes.”

He
leaned forward, kissing me until my lips felt fuzzy. Then I felt his
cock press hard against the entrance, feeling my body tense slightly.
His eyes watched me as he slowly pressed forward. And he was so big.
And it had been so long. There was pain, a pinching, a burning that I
winced against as his head pressed in.

“You
okay?”

I
nodded, my legs widening, trying to relieve the ache a bit as he kept
pressing forward, one thick inch at a time, so slow that I could feel
my body making room for him. His cock hit deep and my head jerked off
the pillow and hit his arm. “Ow.”

“Okay,”
he said, stilling inside me. “Baby,” he called. “Look
at me.” I took a breath, lying my head back down and looked up
at him. “I'm inside you.” I knew. Oh, I knew. The pain
was receding, leaving only the tension. The desire. “What's the
number?”

“Three.”

“I
can work with three,” he said, leaning down and taking my lips.

My
legs moved upward, my feet flat on the mattress as my hips started
rising up, trying to stoke the desire, trying to get what I needed.

Chase
chuckled against my lips, pulling back, sliding slightly back and
pressing forward, making me whimper. “So fucking tight,”
he groaned, shaking his head.

“So...
big,” I corrected, smiling.

He
smiled back, shifting inside of me slightly. “You ready?”

Hell
yeah I was.

“Yes.”

He
exhaled slowly, then slid half way out of me, then fully back in.

And
if that was what sex was supposed to be, Shay was right, I was as
virgin as the fresh fallen snow.

Because
this was other wordly. This was the closest to heaven I had ever
been.

“You're
so beautiful,” Chase said, leaning down toward my ear, his
breath ragged as he kept his intoxicating slow pace.

My
legs went up, wrapping around his back, pulling him closer. My hips
rose up to meet each thrust, arching into it, taking him as deep as
possible.

“Oh
my god. Oh my god,” I whimpered, my hands grabbing into his
back, digging in.

“That's
it, baby,” he said, pulling upward to look down at me. “Come
for me. I want to feel your pussy grab me.”

I
drove up to meet him and just... splintered apart.

“Chase!”
I cried out pulling upward and burying in his neck as my muscles
pulsated hard around him, the sensation of him filling me making the
orgasm feel stronger than I had known before.

“Fuck,
beautiful,” he growled, pushing into me again, his body
jerking. “Ava...
fuck
me
....”

His
body came down on mine hard, and I wrapped myself completely around
him, my body jerking through the aftershocks.

“Baby,
let me look at you,” he said, trying to pull against my hold. I
shook my head, pulling him tighter. “I'll hold you, okay? Just
let me look at you.” My arms slackened slightly and he pulled
up. “Are you okay?” I shook my head. “No?”

My
eyes opened slowly. “Okay isn't even close to how you make me
feel,” I said,
because
it was true.

“Oh,
babe,” he said, shaking his head, rolling to his side and
bringing me with him. His hand went to the side of my face again.
“I'm so glad you feel that way.”

Not
'I feel the same way
too'
.

No.

He
was glad
I
felt that way.

Because,
for him, it wasn't personal.

I
was a patient. A client. Nothing more.

“What's
the matter?” he asked, watching my face with drawn-in brows.

“Nothing,”
I lied. Outright lied.

Because
everything was wrong.

“I
need to go to the bathroom,” I said, moving away from him,
sliding toward the other side of the bed, dragging the sheet with me,
staying wrapped up. Hidden.

I
closed the door, sinking almost immediately down the wall, wrapping
my arms around my legs. What the hell did I get myself into? What
made me think I would be prepared to take something like this
situation on? I was so out of my depths. There was no way I could
have gone into that arrangement and not developed confused feelings.
I didn't have enough experience with the opposite sex, with intimacy,
to not confuse sex for something deeper.

I
buried my face in my hands, feeling the tears coming, hot and
unstoppable. They just needed to get out. I needed to purge the
misery.

I
looked up.

But
not there.

Not
in his bathroom. In his office.

I
got up, dropping the sheet, and went to the shower, flicking it on
and climbing in. If the water was hot enough, it might be able to
melt away a few layers of the feelings before I had to face Chase
again. Before I needed to put on a brave face and act unaffected.

I
could do it.

But
then the shower curtain moved and Chase was stepping in with me.

“You
should have told me you were taking a shower,” he said, coming
in behind me. “I would have joined earlier.”

The
anxiety rose, settling heavily toward anger and I felt myself
straightening. I stayed under the spray, staring at the wall in front
of me as he slid in closer. His hand moved out, landing right under
my breasts and moving down.

I
couldn't take it.

I
just... couldn't.

I
was done.

“Red,”
I said, my voice firmer than I thought it would be.

His
hand froze for a second, then moved quickly away.

“Ava,
babe... what's wr...”

But
I wasn't listening.

I
reached for the only towel, drying as best I could as I rushed out
into room, grabbing my dress and slipping it awkwardly up my still
damp skin, dropping the towel. A naked Chase came storming sopping
wet into the room, eyes worried.

“Ava,
please talk to me...”

My
boobs would settle into the bodice right, but I wasn't wasting time
with that. I
grabbed my
keys and wallet, reached for the door to the office and went out.

Chase
had grabbed the towel, wrapping it around his waist, following me
out. “Ava!”

Then
I was running, in through the waiting room, unlocking the door with
clumsy fingers, then throwing myself out into the street.

He
might have been willing to do a lot of things, but he wasn't going to
haul out into the streets wearing only a towel. I had been counting
on that as I took off at a dead run toward the parking garage, bare
feet slapping on the pavement.

I
shoved my key into the ignition with shaking hands, pulling out of
the garage as quickly as possible, taking the back road so I wouldn't
have to pass by his office.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

After
the Session

I
turned the heat on full blast, my wet body shaking violently against
the cold.

Oh,
my god.

What
the hell did I do?

Fuck.

I
had acted like a damn maniac.

But
I just... I couldn't let him keep touching me and pretend it didn't
mean more than that to me. It meant more. Even if I was just dealing
with some psychological condition. It was real. It was as real as
anything. And it fucking hurt. And I just couldn't keep subjecting
myself to that.

It
was over.

I
was done.

I
wasn't going back.

He
could keep the money.

Even
though I was more fucked up than when I first went in.

Because
I couldn't imagine anyone else every laying a hand on me again.

I
ran into my apartment building, hauling the door open and...

“Congratulations!”
Jake's and Shay's voice chorused, sitting on the couch, a big spread
of food and booze in front of them.

One
look at my face and wet, disheveled body, and Shay was jumping off
the couch. “Ava, what happened?”

“I
can't...” I said, helplessly, shaking my head.

“Did
that fucker hurt you?” Jake asked, jumping up in all his
testosterone-driven masculinity.

And
I wanted to say yes.

Yes.

He
hurt me.

But
not that way.

I
shook my head and the anger deflated, leaving only worry.

“Ava,”
Shay's voice snapped

“I'm
not going back,” I said simply, moving numbly toward my bed.

The
pretty white dress fell to the ground and I reached in my closet for
sweatpants and the biggest, warmest sweatshirt I owned, escaping
underneath them and climbing into the warmth my bed promised, buried
deep under the covers despite my dripping wet hair.