The Secrets That We Keep (20 page)

I look at him skeptically.

“Oh, come on, it’s not like I’m going to give you a jar full of moths or anything,” he says with a devilish grin.

“That’s not funny, Lucas. You know how much I hate moths. Why do they even exist anyway? Yuck!”

He laughs at me and then turns towards his luggage and pulls something out of a small side pocket. “Promise, you’ll accept it,” he says, more of a demand than a question.

“Fine, what is it?”

He brings his hands from around his back and shows me a brand new phone. I look up at him in shock.

“Lucas, you didn’t have to buy me a new phone. I know they aren’t cheap.”

“I have the money, don’t worry. You have to accept it though. I knew you’d need a new number and decided this would be a nice gift for you. I have one condition though.”

I purse my lips at him and cross my arms. “What kind of condition?”

“You add my number in right now and don’t delete it later, and make sure to stay in touch.”

“I guess I can do that,” I say with a smirk.

“Good, because I already put it in there and just put the phone back in the box,” he says with a laugh.

“Presumptions, aren’t you?”

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist me,” he says with a crooked grin.

“Whatever,” I say with a mock eye roll.
“Really though, Lucas. Thank you so much. For everything. You’ve been pretty great and I appreciate it.”

“I am pretty g
reat,” he says with a wink.

“Cocky bastard,” I mutter under my breath.

“What did you say about my cock?” he asks while cupping his ear with his hand.

“
Eww, nothing. I hate that word. Say dick instead.”

“Oh, so what did you say about my dick?”

“You’re terrible, you know that?” I say with a shake of my head.

“Yeah, but you like it.”

Before I can respond he grabs his luggage and heads for the door. “Get some sleep, Bell. I’ll see you in the morning. If you need me, I’m in the room next door.”

He glances over his shoulder and gives me a smile before shutting the door behind him.

I sigh and let myself flop back onto the bed.

I
wake up almost nine hours later, still fully dressed but apparently some time while I was sleeping, I pulled the edge of the covers over and half covered myself. I sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes before heading towards the bathroom. While I’m in there, I decide I’m in desperate need of a hot shower so I quickly peel off my clothes and jump in.

While the hot water pours over me, I allow myself one last time to cry. I have decided I will not cry over my terrible luck with life
after this. I’ve come to terms with the fact that maybe I am meant to be alone. My family was taken from me and then Lucas left me, and now of course Julian. I know he says he doesn’t want to lose me but at this point, I feel like there isn’t another choice. So I cry, I mean, ugly cry. I let the tears pour down my face. I let the sobs wrack my body until I have nothing left in me. I will not dwell on this any longer. Shit happens. There has to be people out there who have it worse than me. I know I am not the only one to go through struggles. I will try not to have any more pity parties for myself. I will try to just move on and be happy again, by myself, somewhere else.

Once I’m done with the shower, I wrap myself in a towel and look at myself in the mirror. Yuck. I’m a red, splotchy, puffy eyed mess. Oh well. I go to my luggage to pull out some clothes and since I’
ll be traveling, I decide on some comfy black yoga pants, an off the shoulder gray shirt and some white and black converses. I go back to the bathroom and comb through my hair, and since I’m too lazy to deal with a blow dryer and straightener, I decide on my go-to side braid. A little of my splotchiness has gone away, so I throw on some foundation, mascara and light colored lipstick with some gloss.

As soon as I’
m done stuffing my things back into my suitcase, I plop myself down onto the bed and look at the clock. It’s a little after five pm. My time here is coming to an end and I’m almost starting to feel excited. A new start, a new life, a new adventure. That doesn’t sound too bad.

A knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts. I make my way to the door knowing
it’s Lucas because nobody else knows where I am. Thank goodness.

“Hello, Lucas,” I say as soon as I swing open the door.

“Well hello. You seem happier this evening,” he says with a slight smile on his face.

“I guess so. I’m just trying to leave behind the bullshit and learn to move on and be positive,” I reply
with a smile plastered on my face. It may be a little forced, but it’s a smile nonetheless.

Lucas eyes me for a second and lets out a small laugh.
“Yeah okay. That’s good,” he says as he walks past me and into the room.

I walk back to the bed and sit down and Lucas sits in a chair by the window.
He looks like he’s in his comfortable travel clothes as well. He’s wearing a pair of black and red basketball shorts that fall below his knee, a red and white T-shirt and plain white Nike shoes.

“So, you have it all figured out yet?” He asks.

“Actually, I think I do. I’m 98.2% sure of where I’m going and once I get there I’ll check into a hotel until I can find a nice apartment to stay in, and then I’ll start looking for a job.”

“98.2% huh?” he says with a laugh. “Well, I’m happy to hear that Bell, I really am. Still not going to let me know where this place is are
you?”

“
Uhh, probably not. But I am going to keep your phone number, so that’s something.”

“I guess I’ll have to be okay with that,” he says with a sigh. “Bell, I want to be honest with you. I had every intention of trying to be in your life. I feel shitty that I’ve missed out on so much. We were best friends and I want to get to know you again. Unfortunately you’re making that hard by not letting me know where it is you’re going
, but I’m going to ask that you give me a call every once in a while and accept my calls as well.” He pauses and looks at me, waiting for some sort of response, so I nod. “Okay, well I also want to apologize for leaving you when you needed me most. I know I told you why I left. I couldn’t bear to tell you that I knew and was friends with the guy who took your family from you. I couldn’t tell you that it was partially my fault because I was supposed to stay with him. I was selfish and I’m sorry. I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

“Lucas, I can appreciate that and can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same. Everybody reacts differently to every situation. Was I pissed at you? Yes, of course I was and I was
completely confused. I can’t thank you enough for looking out for me, though. You’re a great friend to have and I’d want nothing more than to stay in touch with you. You will always have a special place in my heart.”

Lucas breaths out a sigh of
relief and then gives me a crooked grin. “You really are the best, Bell.”

“I am pretty awesome,” I say playfully.

Lucas laughs and then stands up and saunters over towards me and pulls me up off the bed. He cradles my face in his large and surprisingly soft hands. His baby blues are studying every inch of my face. He doesn’t say anything, he just looks at me and all I can do is study his face as well. He’s got a few days of stubble on his face and he seems to be letting his dirty blonde hair grow back out. Lucas is definitely handsome, he can pull off the boy next door look and the ruggedly handsome look depending on whether he shaves or not. He looks good either way.

I start to feel a lump in my throat because even though I promised to stay in touch with him, I don’t know when I’ll actually see him again. I almost want to tell him where I’ll be and have him meet up with me just so I can have a friend
, but I don’t want him to think I’m wanting to be in a relationship again. I’m just not ready for anything like that.

Lucas slowly brings his soft lips to my forehead and gives me a kiss. I close my eyes and let him pull me into an embrace. I lay my head on his chest and will myself not to cry again. I’ll talk to him again, probably soon
, and I’ll be okay. I wrap my arms around his waist and he rests his head on top of mine and we just stand there for a few minutes.

I eventually pull away and look up at him
, trying to give him a smile. His hand slides softly down my cheek and I can tell by the look in his eye what’s coming next. He uses his finger to tilt my chin up and slowly makes his way towards my lips with his. The moment we connect, his hand goes to the side of my neck and I can feel his fingers at the back of my neck. He pulls me closer but his kiss is soft and slow. He gives me a few slow pecks, first on the corner of my mouth and then the other corner, and then finally a perfectly placed kiss. He pulls back momentarily before licking my lips, causing them to part. I feel his tongue enter my mouth gently and slowly. I can feel the warmth on my tongue and then he’s sucking my tongue into his mouth, but only for a brief second before he pulls away and gives me a final peck on my now wet and panting mouth. He knows what he’s doing. Bastard.

He smiles down at me, looking every bit of the devilishly handsome, charm-the-pants-off-you, man that he is. I take a moment to first close my mouth, and then to make sure whatever I say next, I won’t regret later.

“Thank you,” I pant out. “I mean, that was nice.”

Shit. I regret it.
Should have taken more time.

Lucas laughs at me and then pulls me in for a big bear hug. “You’re welcome. I couldn’t say goodbye without doing that first
, and I’m glad you thought it was nice.”

I’m thankful tha
t this isn’t as awkward as it could be. This is why I love Lucas. He has the ability to make me feel comfortable no matter what. He really is a great friend.

“Thanks Lucas, and not for the kiss either. Thank you for just being you and being so great. I’m
gonna miss you.”

“Hey, we’re not going to talk about missing each other,
okay? We will talk all the time. I’ll probably get on your nerves, but I’m not walking out of your life again.”

He pulls away and has his hands on my shoulders and is looking me dead in the eye. I can tell he’s being honest and for that,
and I’m grateful. “Okay. I think I’m ready to go to the airport now,” I say to him.

He takes a deep breath and grabs ahold of my suitcase and takes my hand and we walk out of the hotel room. He stops by his room to grab his luggage and then we make our way downstairs to check out. Thank goodness we don’t run into anymore c
ouples dry humping each other by the elevator.

Once we’re back into the car, we’re pretty silent on the way to the airport. We’re probably both doing our fair share of thinking. When we arrive, Lucas returns his rental keys to a place that is in the airport.

“Does your flight leave soon?” I ask.

“Well, in about five hours but I figure I’ll just hang out here and grab some food. I don’t have anything else to do anyway,” he says with a shrug.

“Oh, makes sense.”

He walks me to the ticket counter line where I can purchase my ticket but once it’s my turn, he walks away to the flashing screen that lets us know which flights are cancelled or delayed. I’m sure he’s just giving me space since I said I wasn’t going to tell him where I planned on going. I purchase my one way ticket from an older lady with blondish gray hair. She’s very friendly and talkative and keeps telling me how much I’ll love it there. I tell her I hope she’s right.

With ticket in hand, I make my way to Lucas. He turns and smiles at me and walks me to go check my baggage since mine is too big to be a carry on. His, on the other hand, is just a small gym bag type thing so he can take his on the plane.

We go through security together and once past them
, we stop and know that it’s time to say bye.

We turn and face each other and he grabs my hands in his and strokes the tops of them with his thumbs. “Well, I guess this is where we part
,” he says sadly. “I hope you have a safe trip and as soon as you land, I want you to text me and let me know that you made it safely.”

“I will.”

“Okay. Be safe and be happy,” he says with a smile.

“I will do my best. I hope you have a good flight too. Thanks again for everything. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Definitely,” he says with a heart stopping smile. “I gotta go find something to eat now before my flight. You be good and don’t get into any trouble.”

“Me?
Trouble? No way.” I say with a wink and smile of my own.

“Uh huh.”

He pulls on my hand and my body crashes against his and he wraps his arms around my shoulders. I let my arms go around his waist and breathe in his scent one last time. He pulls away and gives me a lingering kiss on my forehead and my eyes instantly close. When we separate, he gives me his usual crooked grin and turns to walk away.

“Be good, Bell.”

“Always.”

I’m pretty
sure I hear him laugh as he walks off. I stare at him for a moment before turning and finding my terminal. My flight takes off fairly soon, and I’m ready to get to my new home.