The Reluctant Dom (38 page)
Ed led Seth to the study and quietly closed the door. Kaden's computer was on, and the DVD program was up.
Before he clicked the mouse he looked at Seth. “I'm warning you now, he's left quite a few. For you to watch. He has a couple for her but most of them are for you.”
Seth nodded.
Ed hit play before stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him.
Kaden had obviously recorded this early on, because he looked good, healthy.
“Hey, buddy.” Kaden smiled. It looked like he'd filmed it with his web cam here at the desk, in this chair. “I know, this sucks. I'm sorry I'm dumping this on you. Up front, I love you, man. I know you love me. I know she loves me, and believe me, I love her...”
Twenty minutes later, Seth opened the door. He'd cried buckets of tears but felt a little better. While watching Kaden waste away over the past several months had been horrible, and his twinge of relief at his friend's release from his pain filled him with guilt, his overwhelming grief and loss had been at the forefront of his mind.
But Kaden was still there taking care of them in many ways. He had, in typical Kaden control freak fashion, literally arranged every last detail.
Seth felt even more guilt that he didn't have to do anything but take care of Leah. Kaden had assured him on the DVD that it was supposed to be his only task right now, but that didn't assuage him. Shouldn't he be in charge and taking care of things?
As it was, he had all he could do to keep from agreeing with Leah that dying looked like a damn good option.
Kaden had even anticipated that in his message to him.
Damn, he was spooky.
He gave Seth several suggestions on how to keep her focused, how to keep her feeling, subtle things Seth could do to keep her alive.
Seth returned to Leah's side and napped until late afternoon.
* * * *
The phone calls started that evening as people learned of Kaden's passing. The phone ringer was turned down low, and Helen came over to answer it, giving Tony and Ed a respite. By day four, Leah would speak in short, simple sentences. She'd also stopped asking Seth to let her die.
Ed came in the fifth morning and motioned to Seth. He joined him in the hall. Leah was still asleep.
“The limo will be here at four to pick us up. I suggest getting some solid food in her this morning so she doesn't collapse on us this afternoon. It'll last until about seven or so.”
“I can't leave her side.”
“You're not supposed to.”
“How do I explain who and why—”
“Seth. You don't.”
He studied Ed. “Let me guess.”
Ed nodded. “He's got it planned. Don't worry about it. You don't worry about appearances or anything else. Just her. Those are his orders.” Ed looked through the bedroom doorway at Leah's sleeping form and sadly shook his head. “You know, I honestly thought he was overreacting. You know how he is ... was. I was just humoring him. I had no idea...” He sighed. “Thank God he thought this through. He made it all easy for me, really.”
You're not the only one,
Seth thought.
* * * *
Seth got her into the shower a little after nine. She docilely stood while he washed her hair, shaved her legs, everything. He carefully towel dried her and slipped a large T-shirt over her head before leading her to the kitchen.
Between him and Tony, they coaxed a half a bowl of oatmeal and two scrambled eggs down her. Good thing, because Seth estimated she'd lost about ten pounds in the past week simply from not eating. He hoped her stomach would kick in and demand more food once it got its teeth into that.
He gave her a session in the playroom, taking the four-foot whip to her, got her to cry. She was actually speaking in coherent sentences by two o'clock when he led her back to the kitchen and coaxed her into eating a bowl of clam chowder.
He dressed her, left her sitting on the couch with Tony sitting on the coffee table in front of her, whispering to her, trying to keep her distracted while Seth got dressed.
The four of them rode in the limo. Seth was vaguely aware of people talking to them at the memorial service but he kept his arm firmly around Leah's waist the entire time during visitation. Tony stood on her other side, ready to help catch her if she collapsed. Leah rarely spoke, mostly nodded and said thank you.
At least she appeared to be functional, even if she wasn't.
Because of the cremation, there was no casket. Kaden instead had picked a picture of the three of them from their Disney trip, taken in front of the Tree of Life at Animal Kingdom, all three of them wearing Mickey Mouse hats, smiling, having fun.
There were over five hundred people there. Seth didn't know most of them but apparently they'd known Kaden. The funeral director started a DVD and Seth both cringed and laughed throughout it.
Kaden the control freak strikes again.
The message was, again, recorded in the early days, when Kaden was still healthy and looked good. How he would have wanted people to remember him. When it finished, a few people gave eulogies. Seth watched but didn't really listen. His entire focus was on Leah, listening to her breathing, keeping her pulled tight against his side to keep her from collapsing.
Keeping himself from collapsing under the weight of his crushing grief.
* * * *
Time blurred.
* * * *
Three mornings later, Leah rolled over in bed and looked at Seth.
“Good morning, sweetie,” he said.
She nuzzled her face against his shoulder and he cuddled her close. “Good morning, Master,” she whispered.
Tony and Ed were now switching off days. Kaden had left a bunch more cards. So far, Leah was acting nearly exactly as he'd predicted.
Damn, he was good.
Seth wondered if he'd ever know Leah that well.
“Can I get you some breakfast, babe?” He held his breath. Normally she would shake her head and it would take him twenty minutes to wheedle and beg her into eating something.
She nodded.
He stroked her hair and prayed he didn't cry with relief. “Scrambled eggs?”
She nodded again.
He hugged her, relieved. Maybe they had finally turned the corner.
* * * *
Ed stopped by even though it was Tony's day. “I need to drive you two to the clerk's office up in Venice this afternoon.”
Leah was napping. “Why?”
He handed Seth another card.
32—Moving On
Time for you to take the next step. Ed will take you to the clerk's office and help you get the marriage license. Even if he doesn't have a death certificate back yet, there shouldn't be a problem. Congratulations! Ha ha! No, you're not getting married today, that's in a few days. Ed has to arrange the other part for me.
Horrified, Seth stared at the card. “You can't be fucking serious?” Kade had talked about it but Seth didn't honestly think he meant this soon.
Ed nodded, held up another card. “I have to give this to her.”
Seth reached for it but Ed pulled it away. “No, I have to give it to her. You can read it after she does.”
Leah stirred when Seth woke her. Once she was awake, Ed handed her the card. She slowly took it, then closed her eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath before opening them again and reading.
She took a long time. Seth resisted the urge to read over her shoulder. When she finished the card she was crying but she nodded and wiped her eyes and handed the card to Seth.
He read it.
Seth looked at the ceiling and silently swore.
Kade, if you were here buddy, I wouldn't know whether to kiss you or kick your ass. But thank you for arranging everything. At least I can blame you if it doesn't work out.
Chapter 25
Ed drove them to the clerk's office and helped them get the marriage license. Leah and Seth signed where the clerk indicated.
“So when's the big day?” Seth snarked.
Ed smiled. “Should be this weekend. I have to get everything put together.”
* * * *
Kaden had left a DVD for Leah to watch. It was the only time Seth was told to leave her side. Ed had to stay with her while she watched it.
When she emerged from the study, she looked stunned but...
Seth couldn't put his finger on it.
He'd been sitting on the couch and she slowly walked over to him and curled up in his lap. He automatically wrapped his arms around her. “Are you okay?”
She nodded and closed her eyes as she curled tightly against him. “You can watch it now, if you want.”
He wasn't sure he wanted to. “What did he say?”
“He wanted to explain why he set it up like this. I mean, I knew why but he wanted to make sure I understood.”
“Are you really okay with this, hon?” Seth wasn't sure
he
was okay with it. Marry Leah, hell yeah, that was a no-brainer. But this soon? Wasn't that sort of tacky, even if it was the dead husband setting it up? “I mean, seriously, if you're not, it's all right. We don't have to do this right now. We can wait.”
“Yeah, I'm okay with it. He's right. He wants you to have the full legal ability to take care of me and to be able to access everything. The sooner we're married, the better.”
“That's not what I mean.”
She opened her eyes and looked at him. “I want to be your wife. I love you.”
Seth nodded and kissed her forehead. “Okay.” He snorted in wry amusement. “Will you marry me?” Seemed a little moot, considering he was already wearing Kaden's wedding band—like hell he'd ever take that off—as well as the other band.
He'd never take that one off either, despite already wearing one just like it on the same finger.
Leah made a small sound he realized was a laugh. “Yes, I'll marry you. I don't want to be anywhere but right here with you.”
He breathed a silent sigh of relief. “Okay.”
* * * *
Ed arranged everything. All Seth had to do was pack according to a list Kaden had prepared on another card Ed gave him.
He did this while Leah slept one afternoon. Kaden's instructions to Seth, what little he let on, were to not tell her what was packed.
Late Saturday, a limousine arrived at the house to pick them up. Leah looked beautiful in a simple black dress Kaden had apparently bought months earlier, before he became house-bound, and tucked in a garment bag in the back of Seth's closet. Loose, flowing, with long, full sleeves, it fell just above her knees.
Kaden had instructed her to put her hair up, to wear the collar she'd had on—still the same one from the day he died—and to put just a little make-up on, tasteful and subdued.
She curled in Seth's arms during the limo ride, nestled in his lap with her head resting on his shoulder. Kaden the control freak had picked his outfit as well, only he hadn't needed to shop for his friend. Jeans and loafers, and a dark charcoal button-up shirt.
Seth wasn't sure about their final destination, only that from what was packed, it would hopefully be warm.
Either that, or the two of them would freeze their asses off because Kaden figured he'd die in the summer.
Somehow, Seth didn't think that was the answer.
The limo headed north on I-75. It was with no surprise the limo driver turned off at Bee Ridge and headed east.
Toward Tony's.
Whatever was in store, Seth suspected Kaden had planned this part of the freaky festivities with Tony's assistance.
Sure enough, there were several cars parked at Tony's. Ed and Tony met them as the limo pulled up to the house. Seth helped Leah out. He'd given her a hard session at home just before helping her get dressed. She seemed to be handling things okay so far.
With her arm hooked through his for support, Seth led her inside.
There were a few people Seth knew from the club, people Kaden and Leah had known for years. Candles set an intimate tone. Seth cringed when he saw the large TV and DVD player.
Oh boy.
Ed introduced another man. “Seth, this is Judge Donnelly.”
Oh, crap.
Leah managed a wan smile. “Hello, Pat. Nice to see you again.”
Seth breathed a sigh of relief. Kaden's instructions were to allow her to freely speak to people while they were at this gathering.
Apparently this guy was one of their “loan a whip” kind of friends.
He nodded. “I'm sorry I was out of town the other day and couldn't make it to the service.”
“That's okay.”
Folding chairs had been set up in a semi-circle around the TV. Ed directed everyone to be seated, Leah and Seth at the front.
Ed consulted with Tony, turned on the TV, and hit play on the DVD remote.
Another of Kaden's early recordings, again made in his study at his computer, most likely over a year earlier from how healthy he looked. Seth waited for Leah to react but she held it together.
She was doing better than he was, apparently. Maybe he should let her whale on him for a while with the whips.
“Well, guys, I know this is weird and strange,” Kaden said with a smile, “but you know me. I'm a control freak.”
Leah and Seth both laughed. That apparently gave the rest of the people, fifteen in all, permission to laugh, too.
Kaden continued. “Everyone here knows Seth and Leah. And you guys know me. You were invited here tonight because you are, other than my brother and Seth's brother, the people I want here. For obvious reasons, I'm not involving them in tonight's activities.
“Seth, Leah, I love the two of you, you know that. I've got something for you. Ed and Tony will give it to you here in a minute. I wanted people as witnesses to this who would understand, who wouldn't judge. No offense, Pat.” More nervous laughter from those gathered. “I wanted people who would support you and make this day as easy as possible on you.”
Kaden addressed everyone. “For everyone's information, I've left Seth and Leah a very explicit set of instructions to follow. They've been following them—I hope—and tonight is part of that. I know I don't have to explain to you all why it's important Leah not be without a Master. I don't have to justify myself, and Leah and Seth don't owe you all any explanations. I know all of you gathered here will understand and accept and support them. That's what I wanted. Maybe later they might want to have a public ceremony down the road, but I'm leaving that up to them. Most people won't even know what's going on until much later, so that will help them out.
