The Rancher's Family Wish (8 page)

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Her tone spoke of her pride in her child. What a great mom she was, Tanner thought.

“But that’s not all of the verse, Mr. Cowboy.” Beth studied him with an intensity that made him sit up straight. “Do you know why we cast our cares on Him?” Her blue gaze demanded an answer.

“Uh, no.” A six-year-old girl was teaching him the Bible. “Tell me why, Beth.”

“Because He cares for us.” Her smile spread from cheek to cheek.

He’d never heard the truth of God’s love given so succinctly with such passion.

“As I said, you’re a very smart girl.” Tanner brushed her cheek with his knuckles in a fond caress while his heart yearned for a child like Beth to love.

You turned your back on that opportunity.

All Tanner could do now was enjoy Sophie and her kids and pour his heart’s desire to be part of something bigger than himself into Wranglers Ranch.

And pray that would be enough to satisfy the ache to be loved that had been throbbing inside him for years.

Chapter Six

“M
y mom wasn’t too impressed with me and Moses tying those cans on the bride and groom’s car,” Davy told Tanner a few days after the wedding.

Because neither of them could see her sitting behind her house, Sophie grinned. Truthfully she’d been amused by the action, but that had been tempered by worries about the bridal couple’s reaction when they saw the crude cardboard sign proclaiming Just Married. Thankfully Vanessa and Herb had hooted with laughter, so Sophie had tempered her scolding of Davy for touching other people’s property, especially after Moses insisted the idea was his.

“I like doing things with you, Tanner. You make everything fun.” There was Davy’s hero worship showing again. In fact both her kids adored the big rancher, and Sophie had to admit she wasn’t immune to his charms, either. The thing was, though catering at Wranglers Ranch was fun, she couldn’t depend on it. She could depend only on herself.

“I like doing things with you, too, Davy.” Tanner paused, a hesitancy in his voice that tweaked Sophie’s attention so that she focused on his next words. “I never knew my parents. Sometimes when I’m with you, I think about them and all the things we could have done together.”

“I heard about people finding their real parents. Couldn’t you do that?” Davy asked.

“My mom gave me away when I was born. I don’t think she’d want me to find her.” Tanner sounded definite.

“That must make you sad.” Sophie wanted to cheer for Davy’s sensitivity.

“Sometimes.” Tanner cleared his throat. “I’m glad you’re out of school today. I’m hoping your mom won’t mind if you and Beth come out to Wranglers. I need some help with an idea I have, kid kind of help.”

Sophie could almost see the grin on Tanner’s face. She knew his eyes would be dancing with fun. And for some odd reason that made her stomach skip.

Get a grip, Sophie.

“Your mom is welcome to come, too, if she wants,” Tanner added.

Like she was an afterthought. Sophie’s smile faded.

“I’ll ask her. Mo-o-o-m!” Davy’s bellow echoed through the house.

“She’s cutting the rosebushes,” Beth called back.

Sophie jumped from her lawn chair, grabbed her pruning shears and barely made it to the bush before Davy and Tanner appeared in the backyard. “Hi,” she said to Tanner. “Davy, don’t yell, please.”

“Tanner wants me and Beth to go to Wranglers,” Davy said.

Sophie looked at Tanner curiously. “To do what?”

“If you want to come along, I’d rather show you.” He glanced at her rosebush. One eyebrow lifted. “You don’t seem to be making much progress. You could do this later.”

“I don’t know if I can do it at all,” she admitted self-consciously. “I’m not good with roses. Apparently I cut off too much last year but the book says they need to be pruned so...” A funny expression washed over his face so she stopped talking.

“I don’t think what you’re doing is
technically
called pruning,” he said, a muscle flicking at the corner of his lips as if he was trying not to smile. “Butchering, maybe. May I?” He held out his hand for her shears.

“Go for it.” When she handed them over, he gripped them, studied the shrub for a few moments, then began deftly clipping away branches. A second later droplets of blood dotted his hands where the thorns had pierced.

“You should have gloves on, Tanner.” Sophie peeled off her own and held them out. “Those barbs can cause a lot of damage.”

“To you maybe. I have tough skin.” He ignored her gloves, swiped away the blood and continued working. A few minutes later he leaned back to admire his work. “There. If you leave it alone it should soon start to bloom.”

“That’d be the first time since my dad bought it,” Davy mumbled after a sideways peek at Sophie.

“Thanks for that, Davy.” She gave him a pseudofierce look, took the shears from Tanner’s outstretched hand and stored both in her tiny work shed. When she turned around, Tanner had carried the thorny stems to the trash container at the back of her yard. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. So can you come to Wranglers?” He sounded eager for her acceptance. Sophie’s heart gave a little skip, which she ruthlessly suppressed. “You don’t have to cater today, do you? Not on Martin Luther King Day.”

“I don’t have
catering
scheduled, no.” She wanted to go with him, wanted desperately to escape the thousand repair jobs that never seemed to get done and have fun. But being the one in charge meant facing responsibility. “However, I do have a long list of things that need doing. I want to finish them today.”

“Okay. We’ll help.” Tanner’s eyes, dark emerald with swirls of turquoise, danced with fun. “With Davy and Beth and me pitching in, your list will soon be done and then we can all go. What’s first?”

“But—” Sophie hadn’t expected this. “I—er, that is, I don’t know if you can help.” She so did not want him to examine the inadequacies of where she lived. Maybe he’d think she wasn’t a good mother for raising her kids in such a tumbledown place.

“Try me.” When Sophie didn’t respond Tanner turned to Davy. “What’s first on the list?”

“Fixing that stupid carpet on the stairs.” Davy’s sour look said it all. “Every time I come down those stairs I trip.”

“Carpet repair it is. Do you have a hammer and some small nails?” Tanner asked Sophie.

She hesitated but there was no point. She knew from his face that he wouldn’t give in. He’d made up his mind and he was going to help her, whether she liked it or not. And actually, Sophie liked it.

“Thank you. That’s very kind of you.” She smiled at him, secretly hoping Tanner would also notice the loose board on the downstairs landing. She’d caught her toe on it last night and it still throbbed. “Davy can show you where the stuff is in the shed. I’ll get Beth started on cleaning the cupboards.”

Once she’d demonstrated to Beth how to clean one cabinet, Sophie got to work washing windows. Inside was simple, but the outside glass required a ladder. She was struggling to move it out of the shed when it was lifted from her hands.

“What’s this for?” Tanner asked. “And where do you want it?”

“I’m cleaning windows. I’ll start at the back.” She thanked him when he’d placed the ladder and was about to climb up with her bucket and cloths when Beth called for her help. “I’ll be right back,” she promised.

Once Beth was settled, Sophie returned outside. To her surprise Tanner and the ladder were missing. She walked around the side of the house and found him polishing the big picture window at the front.

“Two more on the side and this job can be crossed off.” Tanner’s wide grin stretched across his face. “Many hands make light work,” he said, inclining his head toward Davy, who was washing a basement window.

Funny how the more she got to know Tanner, the less she noticed his faults—if he had any. Sophie had often wondered if she found fault in men because it gave her a good reason to avoid connections with them. But with Tanner...

“What should I do when I’m finished here?” he asked, scrubbing vigorously.

Sophie had dearly hoped to clean up the pile of debris outside her back gate. But she certainly wasn’t going to ask Tanner to pick through her garbage. Without answering she hurried inside to answer Beth’s call. By the time she returned outside Tanner was storing the ladder in the shed.

“Was painting the fence on your list?” Tanner inclined his head toward the paint cans sitting on a shelf.

“I asked the man I rent from to have the fence painted but he refused. So I told him I’d do it if he’d buy the paint.” Sophie felt foolish when Tanner’s lips tightened. “I thought if I did some home improvement that he didn’t have to pay for, he wouldn’t raise my rent.”

“Painting is something I could show Davy how to do,” Tanner said quietly, his gaze tracking Davy as he picked up debris around the yard. “He wants to feel like the man of the house.”

“I know,” she murmured, glad when Davy disappeared to discard his trash and couldn’t overhear. “I am trying to teach him responsibility but I don’t want to put too much on him yet. He’s still just a little kid.”

“Sophie, Davy is very bright. I think a task like painting would make him feel like he has an important part in the good of his family,” Tanner insisted in a quiet tone. “Besides, a newly painted fence is something he could show off to his friends.”

“True.” How did a single rancher know so much about kids? “But it’s a lot of work for you. And he’ll make a mess.”

“So? What’s a mess when you’re building character? Burt taught me that.” He waited, watching her. “Should we do it?”

“Are you sure you want to?” Sophie asked, dubious about letting Tanner help so much.

Tanner grinned but didn’t answer. A moment later he carried the paint cans outside and Davy brought the paintbrushes. He and Davy stashed the debris by the gate in trash bags, then Tanner began showing her excited son how to load his brush and reach the nooks and crannies.

“We’ll do this right, Mom,” Davy promised in a proud voice. “You don’t have to watch us.” Tanner winked and made a shooing motion, eyes glinting with fun.

“Thank you, gentlemen.” Sophie hurried inside, where she could give her laughter free rein. Might as well admit she liked the owner of Wranglers, liked him a lot. It was good to have a friend who so generously lent a hand.

As long as she didn’t let it become more than friendship.

“Mama? I’m finished. Can I paint with Davy?”

Uh-oh. Beth’s expectant blue eyes begged her. But Sophie wasn’t going to saddle Tanner with another child. Not yet anyway.

“You can,” she agreed. “Only we’re not going to paint the fence. We’re going to paint that cupboard I bought at the garage sale. What color do you think it should be?”

“Blue,” Beth said predictably. “I like blue.”

“I know you do.” Sophie risked a quick glance out the window and did a double take. Tanner was making swift progress. “How about if we paint the cupboard white and then add some blue flowers?”

“I like blue flowers.” Beth nodded with a sweet biddable smile.

“I love you, Beth.” Swallowing a rush of emotion, Sophie wrapped her sweet daughter in a hug. “You’re my blessing.”

“Count your blessings,” Beth sang in an off-key tone as she nestled against her mother for a moment, then drew back. “Can we paint now?”

Chuckling, Sophie went to find a drop cloth, paint and brushes. Maybe Tanner’s appearance outside the grocery store that day had been an answer to prayer for her little family. It certainly had been for those rabbits! But Sophie wasn’t ready to entirely trust God with her future because relying on someone other than yourself always led to hurt when the person disappointed you.

In her adult faith journey, Sophie had endured a bellyful of disillusionment. All through her marriage she’d known she wasn’t a good wife. She’d repeatedly begged God to show her how to love Marty as a wife should in spite of the financial predicaments he kept putting them in.

She’d pleaded for His help every time her husband blew their tiny savings and waited interminably for God to respond. His lack of response had left her scrambling to survive after Marty’s death. Those desperate days had made Sophie determined she would never be that vulnerable again, never again be totally dependent on anyone but herself.

Like God, Tanner was great to have around. But also like God, he had his own goals, his own desires and his own plans—plans that didn’t mesh with hers. One day Tanner wouldn’t be part of her world anymore. Sophie needed to keep repeating it to herself. She couldn’t let herself rely on him.

That way lay pain and Sophie never wanted to hurt like that again.

* * *

“So my idea is to make a climbing wall here.”

After Sophie had checked off all her jobs and couldn’t think of another thing, she’d provided a delicious picnic in her backyard. It was such fun that Tanner was loath to break it up, but when they’d eaten and cleaned up, he’d insisted on driving them to Wranglers Ranch.

Now he gave voice to the tumble of ideas that had begun swirling in his head before midnight last night and were still going strong. He felt a surge of relief that Davy and Beth were busy playing with the rabbits because he wanted to hear Sophie’s honest perspective.

What he hadn’t figured out was why her concerns seemed so important to him.

“A climbing wall? Here?”

The time Tanner had spent with Davy at Sophie’s house today had made him aware that not only had he missed special moments like those with his own parents, but also with his own child, the one he’d never known. Suggesting ways Davy could reason with the school bully, empathizing over his fatherless state and explaining why the stars moved in the sky were the kind of things a kid needed a parent for.

Throughout the day Tanner’s self-doubts about his decision to never contact his child grew. Davy and Beth’s nonstop questions were the very things his own child might ask. Who’d been there to answer them? Who was there now, teaching his son or daughter about God’s love? Bad enough Tanner had cheated his child of a father, but was he also cheating his child out of a spiritual relationship with God?

“Tanner?” Sophie’s hand on his arm stirred him from his troubling thoughts. “What’s wrong?”

“Uh, just thinking,” he mumbled, hesitant to share his dark secret past with her.

“About what?” She glanced to check on her children. Then her dark brown stare returned to him, a question in its depths.

Dare he ask her opinion? It took but a moment for Tanner to decide. Sophie was level-headed, totally focused on her kids’ welfare. She’d know what he should do.

“A friend broached me with a problem. I’m not sure how to help him. Care to offer an opinion?” he said, deciding he’d frame the situation as hypothetical.

“I don’t know that my opinion would count for much,” she demurred.

“Oh.” Tanner couldn’t help it. His face fell, his shoulders sagged. He exhaled.

“But if you want to tell me the issue, I’ll tell you what I think, even if it’s not what you want to hear,” she said with a quick grin.

“Great.” How to begin? “This guy...he walked away from his pregnant girlfriend when he was just a kid—a teenager.” Tanner saw her face tighten into a scowl and hurried on. “It was a bad decision. He soon realized that, but when he went back to find her she was gone. He lost all contact. Now he’s thinking that he should find his child.”