The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya (4 page)

“But none of that matters.”

What mattered was that I considered Yuki Nagato, the book-loving, reticent, petite, and ever-so-reliable classmate, one of us.

If you looked at the SOS Brigade members, Nagato had the most knowledge as well as the ability to apply that knowledge. So I had a few more questions for her.

“When did we first realize this?”

I asked this question on a whim, but Nagato answered as though she’d been expecting it.

“The eight thousand seven hundred sixty-ninth loop. Revelation has become more frequent as of late.”

“Since we are consistently finding ourselves disoriented by déjà vu.”

Koizumi seemed to agree.

“However, during those past sequences, we were unable to correct the flow of time after realizing our situation.”

“Yes,” said Nagato.

Which explained why Asahina was crying right now. Because she now knew the truth. And then, two weeks’ worth of memories, experience, and growth would be reset…and she’d find herself crying after learning the truth again.

And once again, I find myself with the same reaction I’ve had more times than I care to remember since meeting Haruhi back in spring. The same reaction I’ve had every time Haruhi created some kind of godforsaken mess. The same reaction I have right now.

What the hell.

And I’ve had that reaction 8,769 times in the past two weeks.

Seriously…

Chalk up another ridiculous conversation.

We went stargazing the next day.

The location was the roof of Nagato’s apartment. Koizumi brought a bulky telescope that he mounted on a tripod. It was around eight
PM
.

The sky was dark, and so was Asahina’s mood. She just stood there in a dazed stupor. This really wasn’t the time to be looking at the stars. I wasn’t in much better shape myself.

Koizumi, who seemed to have recovered his composure, busied himself with setting up the telescope with a smile on his face.

“This was a hobby of mine when I was young. I was deeply moved when I saw the moons of Jupiter for the first time.”

Nagato was the same as always, just standing there on the roof.

I looked up at the night sky, but there were only a handful of stars. The polluted air made them difficult to see. You could even say that there was no sky to see. Come winter, the atmosphere would clear and Orion would be visible, at the very least.

The telescope was pointed at Earth’s neighbor. Haruhi was peering through the finder.

“I wonder if any exist.”

“Any what?”

“Martians.”

I’d rather they didn’t. I pictured a bunch of octopus-like monsters wriggling around as they plotted world domination, and it certainly didn’t sound entertaining in the slightest.

“Why? They could be a friendly bunch. Look, there’s nobody on the surface. I’m sure they’re just a really reserved race who live in underground caverns. They’re trying to avoid scaring us Earthlings.”

The Martians in Haruhi’s head sound like residents of Hollow Earth. Can’t you make up your mind? Are we talking Pellucidar or
Mars Attacks!
? You’ll only make things more complicated if you combine them. Think simple, simple.

“I’m sure they have a plan to pop out and welcome us when the first manned spacecraft lands on Mars. They’ll be like, ‘Welcome to Mars, neighbors, denizens of our neighboring planet!’ I’m sure of it.”

That’d be a bigger scare. Practically an ambush. I have no idea who’s going to be the first to step on Martian soil, but we should probably warn that person. Do I address the letter to NASA?

Time passed as we took turns using the telescope to observe the patterns of Mars and lunar craters. I suddenly noticed that someone was missing and began glancing around before I found Asahina sitting against the rooftop railing and hugging her knees. She had her head bowed down and her eyes were shut. Doubt she got much sleep last night, so I’ll let her rest for now.

Haruhi had apparently grown tired of a night sky that showed no signs of dramatic change.

“Let’s look for UFOs. They’re probably targeting Earth. There must be alien scouts standing by in orbit.”

She cheerfully began turning the telescope this way and that but soon lost interest again. She sat down next to Asahina and leaned against her slender shoulder before falling asleep.

Koizumi turned to me and spoke in a soft voice.

“She must have worn herself out.”

“I don’t see how she would be more tired than the rest of us.”

Haruhi was sound asleep. I was tempted to draw on her face. Still, she looked her best when she was asleep, yeah? If only she would keep her mouth shut. If she swapped personalities with Nagato, that would be perfect. Well, a subdued Haruhi is one thing, but I can’t even begin to imagine a talkative Nagato whose moods swing all over the place.

A night breeze blew by as I watched Haruhi and Asahina sleeping side by side. Haruhi wasn’t surrendering anything to Asahina in terms of looks at the moment. Some might even rank her above. I guarantee it.

“What does she want to do?”

I sighed to myself.

“Have fun with her friends? Something like that.”

“I would assume that is the case. And we would be the friends you mentioned.”

Koizumi looked off into the night sky.

“So then, which fun activity are we supposed to engage in? This won’t end until we figure that out. We will be forced to repeat this two-week period until we determine what Suzumiya desires, which she herself does not know, and grant her wish. I suppose we should be grateful that our memories are being reset. Or else we would have suffered mental breakdowns long ago.”

Fifteen thousand four hundred ninety-eight times.

Seriously? Isn’t Nagato just trying to fool us? Quite frankly, I find

this hard to believe. Still, I could certainly see Haruhi doing something like this, since I’ve seen her power, still an unsolved mystery, do some blockheaded things without her knowing. Doesn’t matter if she’s doing something consciously or unconsciously. The end result can only mean trouble for everybody else. 

And since we continue to faithfully stick with Haruhi, you have to wonder if we’re some kind of overly nice goodwill organization. The SOS Brigade has some really good-tempered members. Though you know that the world’s gone off its rocker when I have a say in its fate.

Besides, people like to assume that the world should be a certain way to which we absolutely must adhere, but in reality, that’s just a bunch of bull that ends up tailored to different ideologies. And since they don’t realize this, we find ourselves with people who blindly force their own ideals on other people. You might want to consider how future generations will view your actions in a thousand years or so.

I was going off on a nice little tangent when Koizumi suddenly interrupted me.

“I don’t know what Suzumiya’s looking for, but why don’t we try this? Embrace her from behind without warning and whisper, ‘I love you’ into her ear.”

“Who’s supposed to do that?”

“Would anyone be more suited for the role than you?”

“I’m vetoing that idea. I pass.”

“Shall I give it a try instead?”

I had no way of seeing the look on my face at that moment, since I didn’t have a mirror handy. However, Koizumi could.

“I merely jest. I wouldn’t be able to fulfill the role. It would only serve to confuse Suzumiya.”

And with that, he began to chuckle in a grating tone.

I fell silent again as I stared up at the radiant moon, the only visible light in a hazy summer sky.

The silver disk, surrounded by engulfing darkness, almost seemed to beckon to me as it reflected brilliant sunlight. Beckon me where? Who knows?

That was all I could think about as I watched Nagato stand perfectly still and look up into the sky.

Summer wasn’t quite over yet, but our summer vacation was about to end. And yet, we couldn’t be entirely sure if it would ever end. Give me a break—seriously.

We might find ourselves going back to August seventeenth. How are we supposed to figure out what’s still “left to be done” in Haruhi’s mind?

What’s left? I haven’t touched the stack of homework that I’m supposed to do over summer vacation, but that shouldn’t have anything to do with Haruhi. Hell, she already finished her homework.

“Where are we headed next?”

“Let’s go to the batting center.”

Haruhi was carrying an aluminum bat. The same beat-up bat she’d swiped from the baseball team way back when. The really old-looking one that seemed more suited for beating people to death than for hitting baseballs. Didn’t realize she still had it.

Our brigade chief tossed back her hair as she flashed a million-dollar smile at all of us and led us to the batting center along the railroad tracks. I’m guessing that the inspiration for this came from watching high school baseball.

I’m also guessing that the brigade members are taking turns being melancholic. Right now we have Asahina, who’s either blue or looking blue. Bad news for me, unfortunately. Guess she still wants to return to her original time.

Nagato and Koizumi were more or less back to their usual selves, Noh-mask girl and smiley-face boy, as they walked behind me. They’re acting like this isn’t any of their responsibility. Could you at least pretend to look serious?

“Sigh.”

I exhaled and focused my eyes ahead on Haruhi’s black hair as it bounced around.

Ever since I met her, ever since the SOS Brigade was formed, someone had decided that it would be my job to babysit Haruhi. No idea who it was, so I’ll have to control my urge to vent, but let me say this at least.

Don’t overestimate me. I’m just your typical average Joe.

Hollow words at this point.

Asahina was a confused mess. Koizumi only ever smiled. Nagato only ever observed.

So I had to do something about Haruhi.

But what was I supposed to do?

Only Haruhi would know the answer, but she didn’t even realize there was a problem.

“Mikuru, you don’t need to swing the bat! Practice bunting. It’s not like you’re going to hit the ball if you swing. You want the ball to roll on the ground after it hits the bat. Ah, don’t pop it up!”

I guess that baseball tournament had left a lasting impression on Haruhi. Don’t tell me that she plans on entering again next year.

Haruhi was hogging the eighty-mph batting cage as she hit one fastball after another. She seemed to be enjoying herself so much that I found myself cheering up. This girl is really something. She must have a higher mitochondrial count than your average person. Wonder where all her energy comes from. If only she would use it for the greater good.

After that, Haruhi moved through her schedule so fast that nobody had time to hit the Pause button, as we were constantly on the move every day.

We even went to see a full-blown fireworks display. Aerial shells launched down by the shore. The three girls got back in their summer kimonos to be delighted (only Haruhi was delighted) by fireworks soaring into the sky before bursting into a fiery bloom, and to laugh at the failed attempts at making caricatures out of fireworks. Haruhi really enjoyed anything that was unnecessarily flashy. She had such an innocent smile when she was having a good time, and it made her look younger than her actual age, so I found myself averting my eyes. If I stare at her too long, I might get some weird ideas. Well, not that I know what those weird ideas might be. Still, I did understand the importance of dressing for the occasion.

On a different day we entered an open goby fishing contest on a river near the district border. We didn’t catch a single goby—we kept reeling in these tiny fish that I’d never seen before—so we weren’t able to participate in the measuring. Haruhi seemed to be interested in the casting motion itself, so we didn’t have to deal with drastic penalties for losing or ego battles. I was very relieved and grateful that I didn’t have to worry about anyone’s accidentally fishing up a coelacanth, leaving me to savor the lunch that had been made by Asahina, who had turned pale upon seeing the worms used for bait and run off into the distance.

By this point Haruhi and I were burned to a crisp, in sharp contrast with Koizumi and Asahina, who had used UV protection. Nagato could probably stand there for days without tanning, which was fine with me, since a brown Nagato would be a surreal sight.

And yes, I realized that this wasn’t the time to be enjoying myself.

The days flashed by as we raced along our set path.

Haruhi was full of energy. I was greatly distressed. Asahina had turned a deeper shade of blue. Koizumi’s forced smile showed that he had resigned himself to this fate. Nagato was the only one who hadn’t changed.

In retrospect, we did a lot of stuff over the past two weeks.

We were approaching the time limit. Today was August thirtieth. Tomorrow would be our last day of summer vacation. I had to do something today or tomorrow, but I had no idea what to do. Summer sun, chirping cicadas—everything related to summer was a source of anxiety. And a high school baseball team had been crowned champion while I wasn’t paying attention. Wish this could all last a little longer.

Until Haruhi was finally satisfied.

Haruhi used the pen in her hand to cross off the items on her list.

Yesterday we waited till the dead of night to head to a large cemetery with candles in hand for our last recreational event, a test of courage. There weren’t any ghosts popping out to greet us or disembodied souls floating around. The only notable highlight was Asahina whimpering timidly in vain.

“We’ve finished our list.”

It was August thirty-first, a little past noon. We were at the usual café in front of the station.

Haruhi was staring at her sheet of paper as if the location of the lost treasures of Tokugawa were written on there in pen. Her expression was a mixture of satisfaction and regret. Under normal circumstances I would have felt a similar regret, since we had only one day of summer vacation left. Under normal circumstances.

I was seriously doubting that summer vacation would actually end. Only natural for me to be skeptical. I’d have to be, after spending months in the SOS Brigade, a ridiculous organization led by an emotionally unstable brigade chief. Makes me wish I were more shallow. Able to assume the simple mind-set that it’s all good if Asahina is around…well, I’ll stop there. It’s possible to have too much of a good thing (the key is to use lingo that isn’t necessarily applicable).

“Hmm. Was this enough?”

Haruhi seemed to be wavering as she used her straw to poke at the vanilla ice cream in her cola float.

“But yeah. I guess that’s all there is. Is there anything else you want to do?”

Nagato made no response as she stared at the lemon slice in her black tea. Asahina had her fists clenched tightly above her knees, looking like a puppy that was being scolded. Koizumi merely smiled as he lifted his cup of Vienna coffee to his lips.

As for me, I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I just sat there sullenly with my arms crossed as I tried to come up with something.

“Oh, well. We managed to get a lot of stuff done this summer. We visited a bunch of places, got to wear summer kimonos, and caught lots of cicadas too.”

It sounded to me like Haruhi was trying to convince herself that we’d done enough. That’s not the case here. It’s not enough. Deep down, Haruhi doesn’t want summer vacation to end yet. She may say it, but that won’t change how she feels on the inside. ’Cause if we dig deep down, way deep down there, she isn’t satisfied yet.

“I guess that’s”—Haruhi handed me the bill—“all for today. I had tomorrow set aside in case, but you can just rest at home. I’ll see you all in the clubroom in two days, then.”

Haruhi stood up and moved away from the table as I started to panic.

I couldn’t let Haruhi leave. That would solve nothing. The two-week repetition, discovered by Koizumi and confirmed by Nagato, will enter its 15,499th iteration.

But what was I supposed to do?

Haruhi was walking away in slow motion.

That was when, out of the blue with no warning at all—

It hit me.

A completely jumbled-up “Wait, I’ve seen this happen before…” kind of thing. However, this comes with a sense of vertigo like none before. An overpowering sensation of déjà vu that’s stronger than anything else so far. I recognize this. Memories from the ten-thousand-plus times we’ve repeated this scene. August thirty-first. One day left.

There should have been some kind of hint in what Haruhi said. What was it, what was it, what was it?

“Is something wrong?”

Someone was talking. Koizumi must have mentioned something as well. Something I was worried about that I kept putting off…

Haruhi was ready to leave the way she’s done thousands of times. I can’t let her leave. Nothing will change. What methods have I tried before? Memories began flashing before my eyes. Everything our predecessors had tried…

And—everything they hadn’t tried.

No time to think. Say something. Make a wild guess.

“My list isn’t finished yet!”

I didn’t need to make a big deal about it, though. Looking back later after I had calmed down, this was the creation of another memory that needed to be erased from my hippocampus. The surrounding patrons and employees, along with Haruhi, turning around from her position in front of the automatic door, focused their attention on me.

Words came pouring out on their own.

“That’s right, my homework!”

Every person in the café was frozen by my sudden outburst.

“What are you talking about?”

Haruhi walked over while looking at me like I was crazy.

“Your list? Homework?”

“I haven’t touched my summer homework. I have to finish that before my summer can end.”

“Are you insane?”

The look she gave me implied that she thought I was. Don’t care right now.

“Hey, Koizumi!”

“Yes, what is it?”

Koizumi also appeared to be taken aback.

“Did you finish yours?”

“No, we’ve been so busy that I’m only halfway through.”

“Then we can do this together. Nagato, you too. You aren’t done yet, right?”

I didn’t give Nagato a chance to respond as I turned to Asahina, whose mouth was hanging open like a puppet’s.

“While we’re at it, I would also like Asahina to come. We’re going to finish our summer list.”

“Huh…?”

Asahina was a second-year, so her homework was different from ours, but that really didn’t matter right now.

“B-but, um, where?”

“We can do this at my house. Bring all your notes and problem sets so we can get them all done. Nagato and Koizumi, let me copy what you have done.”

Koizumi nodded.

“Is that all right with you, Nagato?”

“Yes.”

The head with a pseudo–bob cut nodded slowly before looking up at me.

“Okay. Tomorrow, then. We start tomorrow morning. We’ll make it happen in a single day!”

I pumped my fist in the air.

“Hold it right there!”

Haruhi had her hands on her hips as she stood next to our table.

“Don’t decide everything on your own. I’m the brigade chief. You’re supposed to ask for my opinion first! Kyon, it’s a serious violation of regulations for a brigade member to make an independent decision!”

And with that, Haruhi gave me a glare before shouting at the top of her lungs.

“I’m coming too!”

—The next day, the next morning.

Looks like I guessed right. I woke up in my own bed to find that the ordeal was over.

Because I could remember…That I had returned from the countryside after the Bon Festival. Going to the pool, catching cicadas, and all the other August memories involving Haruhi and everybody else. And best of all, I even remembered what yesterday’s date was.