The Proverbial Mr. Universe (31 page)

“Olivia,” he murmured against her mouth. “Olivia, wait … there’s something I need to tell you.”

“What? Is there someone else?”

“No.” He smiles at the absurdity. No one could ever take her spot.

He pulled a chair from under his desk and motioned for her to sit down. “I need to explain something to you.” He rubbed his eyes before continuing, knowing once the words came out of his mouth things would change for them. “I had been severely sick a few years back … I got a viral infection which caused heart failure. I’ve been living with a new heart for three years.”

She opened her mouth in wonder. “You’re serious? But I don’t understand …”

He grabbed his T-shirt at the back of the neck and yanked it over his head, revealing his scar. He didn’t do it to get pity from her, but compassion. Nick wanted her to understand the seriousness of his situation and what it would mean if she chose to stay with him. A heart transplant was not a cure, but a lifesaving treatment. Every day he lived with uncertainty, his future always at the risk of dramatic change, fear of a setback always looming in the distance. Another infection or rejection could put him back in a hospital bed.

This was his reality, but it didn’t have to be hers.

She got up and walked closer, his eyes never leaving her face. Her fingers traced the light pink scar that ran down the midpoint of his chest, and she glanced up meeting his gaze. He saw the question in her eyes.

“I don’t understand why you never told me this. I mean this is usually the stuff you tell somebody you’re supposed to care about.”

“I know. I was wrong, but I wasn’t trying to keep it from you, not in the beginning. It’s just the further we got involved, the harder it got to tell you. I was so scared of losing you.”

“Scared?” Her eyes were bright. “But I’m not Chloe!”

“I know. I know you’re not.” He regretted not seeing it sooner, not believing in them. He looked back down at her as she stood silently before him, and he was drowning in her silence. “Say something, please,” he begged, barely getting the words out.

Olivia looked at him a long moment before saying, “Well, it’s just … I never wanted anything bad to happen to you and it hurts me because it already did.”

He leaned his head in to touch hers. “I hope you find a way to forgive me because I need you in my life,” he said in a thick voice, his feelings out of control.

“I’m not going anywhere, Nick.”

Somehow, some way, he already knew that.

O
livia was worried. It wasn’t like her father not to show up for their lunch date. If anything came up at the last minute, he would have at least called. Since he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, there were some noticeable progressions of the disease, like forgetting things or misplacing items. It seemed like nothing at first, but sooner or later she realized the qualities of his character that she adored, that made up her father, were going to be compromised at some point.

She was so furious with herself. Why hadn’t she just been more assertive with him when they spoke that morning and gone against his wishes by picking him up instead of meeting him at the restaurant? She was worried maybe he was driving around the city, confused and lost.

After several failed attempts to reach him and only getting her father’s voicemail, it fueled her guilt even more. She scrolled to Dario’s number on her phone, hesitating for a second before her finger landed on his name. Even though her stomach twisted just at the thought of having to speak to him, she had some hope that maybe they were together.

“Hey, Dario, it’s me. Sorry to bother you.”

“You’re not bothering me, what’s up?”

The sound of a rumbling engine made her believe he was somewhere on the road.

“Is my father with you?”

“No. Is something wrong?”

“We were supposed to meet for lunch, but he never showed up, and I can’t seem to reach him.” She paused. “I’m scared. What if something happened to him?”

“Okay, let’s not panic I’m sure he’s okay. He had said something to me about going on the Sherbrook project today. I’m sure he’s there.”

“Maybe,” she said with hope.

“Where are you?”

“I’m just about to leave Tomate Rouge.”

“Look, I’m nearby. Stay put I’ll come and get you.”

As soon as Olivia closed her phone she knew it was a bad idea. She had spoken without thinking. Why on Earth hadn’t she just told him to meet her there? It’s not like she didn’t have her car? But Olivia had been preoccupied, and it seemed to have clouded her judgment.

There was so much history between them, she didn’t know how to act around him. She got an uneasy vibe around the man she felt resentful toward. In his car she tried not to look directly into his eyes, not that she feared him but because there were too many painful memories sewn up to those eyes. She had seen him at his worst, an innocent bystander to his quick temper, often making her feel inadequate so he could feel significant.

Now Olivia had nothing to fear. Her life belonged to herself.

If only she realized that before.

“You are the only one who gives others the power to hurt you,”
Mr. Universe wrote.
“And holding on to hate only continues to provide them with the power, even
after they are gone. You need to let go of the hate if you want to forget about someone.”

She wasn’t sure if she was ready to let go of the hate, but she did desire to put it all behind her.

“Don’t worry, your father is fine. There is some logical reason he didn’t show up.”

“It’s just not like him. You work closely together. I’m sure you’ve noticed changes in him right?” She gave him a quick glance. “How was he this morning?”

“I didn’t notice anything unusual.” Dario slightly took his eyes off the road to look at her. “Whatever you think of me, Olivia, you must know I respect your dad. He’s done a lot for me, and I could never forget that. He’s been the only father I’ve known. Yeah, sure, I’ve noticed a few differences here and there, a little less sharp than he used to be. It hurts me that you have to go through this.”

Dario lost his father to an illness when he was a boy. As he once put it, the man wasn’t such a good husband, let alone father. Over their five years together, Olivia’s dad took Dario under his wing, showing him the ropes of his company. No matter the strain on their relationship, the one Dario had with her father was solid. After they had broken up, she didn’t give it much thought that it might be hard for him not to be a part of her family anymore.

“I’m glad you called me. I want you to feel that no matter what I’m still here for you, at least as a friend.”

She could feel Dario’s eyes on her, but she didn’t look his way.

“What is it that’s so different about you?”

Maybe Olivia should ask the same of him.

“I don’t straighten my hair anymore.” She looked out the window, deciding to keep conversation to a bare minimum.

“No, that’s not it.” After a short moment, he gave up. “Well, it looks beautiful.”

She laughed sarcastically. “Was that a compliment?”

He frowned. “Yes, why?”

“Well, because it’s coming from you.”

You, the narcissistic ass, who was making it hard for her to hate him. For once he was being nice to her, helping her find her dad.

“It was never easy getting compliments from you. Criticism … well, that’s another story. I should know.” She finally got the courage to look him in the eye, and he shifted his eyes back to the road.

Olivia wondered if he felt remorse for all the stuff he put her through, if he had any regret. Then again, would it have mattered?

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I should have treated you better.”

Olivia sat there and said nothing.

“How’s work?” Dario was never the one to care about other people’s interests, unless it involved him.

“Good.”

“Are you still seeing that guy?”

There it was, the question she had been waiting for.

“His name is Nick and yes.”

She felt a tinge of guilt that she didn’t call Nick. He definitely would not be happy about this, but her father was her primary concern right now.

“You don’t have to report everything to my father, you know.”

“I never say anything to your father, Olivia.”

“Oh, of course not!”

“Look, I only told your father that I saw … whatever his name was at
OUR
apartment. Only because I was genuinely worried about you.”

“Worried about me or worried about yourself?”

He positioned himself further back in his seat. “I know I wasn’t the greatest boyfriend.”

She snorted a laugh.

“Let me finish.” Dario downshifted to second gear. “I was horrible at it. I’m seeing someone … to help me sort my shit out.”

She glanced up at him. “You mean a therapist?”

“Yeah.” His hand slightly loosened the knot in his tie.

Olivia thought about the first morning when she opened her eyes to discover Dario wasn’t lying beside her. At first the reality of being single caused her chest to tighten. A frenzy of emotions ripped right through her and sadness lingered not far behind.

It seemed her relationship with Dario had been hopeless for the longest time, five years of complete letdowns. It wasn’t about living anymore, but surviving. Life without Dario opened up all kinds of possibilities. It was as though the cage door opened up and she saw life for what it could be.

Good.

Living her life on her terms.

All along it had been that simple. By subtracting that one person from her life, all of a sudden life took on a whole new meaning.

“I’ve got no excuses on how I behaved, and I’m truly sorry. You deserve better … better than someone like me. I know it’s hard to believe. I only want to see you happy. That’s all I ever wanted for you.”

Olivia studied him for few short seconds, not sure if she could bring herself to believe him. Perhaps time apart had changed him. Maybe seeing a therapist helped him in some way. She’s changed, so why couldn’t he?

“Well, I am happy.”

“Good. Can we try to put everything behind us? Can we, at least for your Dad’s sake? Can we try to be nice without being at each other’s throats? I mean, I do remember a time when we didn’t completely despise each other,” Dario said.

It was hard to think of time that she had been happy with him. Dario never realized anything about her: how she loved to read books, how she loved to laugh. God, she used to love to laugh. She loved stupid things like the sound of a small engine plane flying high across the summer sky. The silly things, the important things, everything that made Olivia, well … Olivia. He made her feel that without him she was nothing. Olivia had allowed him to push her into complete isolation and retreat within herself. If her fiancé, the one who claimed to love her, deemed her unworthy, then how would anyone else find her worthy?

Olivia never realized how lonely she was until Nick came along. He showed her that good guys do exist. He had never tried to stop her from being herself. In fact, he encouraged it. He taught her that within love, there is freedom to flourish. She never needed to hide who she was. Nick did everything for her and never wanted anything in return. He had proven to be a man worth sticking by.