The Proverbial Mr. Universe (21 page)

“I kind of lost my appetite.” Her eyes diverted to her boots.

She was so sure Nick would never want to see her again, so she was giving him the opportunity to walk away.

“Roshambo.”

She looked up at him, trying to hide her smile. “No. I don’t think so.”

“Come on, if you win you can go back to your lonely apartment and sulk over a container of Häagen-Dazs, thinking about all the fun you missed out on.”

She laughed. “I don’t have any ice cream in my freezer.”

Why did guys think ice cream was a girl’s go-to comfort food? No, hers was a large, crusty, fresh bread and a jar of hot peppers. Then again, she didn’t have that either.

“Even more reason to come out with me.” His eyes twinkled.

He raised her hands to motivate her to play along. Nick and Olivia raised their fists and repeated the syllables in unity
“Ro. Sham. Bo.”

Olivia made a rock with her fist, and Nick made scissors with his fingers.

Olivia frowned. “You’re not very lucky at this game?” She hinted at a smile.

“Alright, so in my head I had it working out differently. Forget roshambo. I still want to take you out. I don’t care where we go, as long it’s somewhere with you,” he said.

She studied him for a moment. She had never quite met a man like Nick Montgomery. With him, everything seemed so simple. It was easy to be herself around him.

“What do you say, Monti? Would you like to get lost somewhere in this crazy city with me tonight?”

She eyed her watch. “We lost our reservation.”

“I have a place in mind.” He smiled.

“I
can’t believe you never been to Griffin town before?” Nick held the door open for her as they walked out into the moonlight. Walking away from the restaurant, Olivia looked up at him and shrugged. “I had no idea all this was here. The only thing I imagined was a bunch of rundown buildings—”

“Yeah, I grew up a few blocks down.”

“Oh … I didn’t mean …” Olivia always seemed to find her foot in her mouth. There would always be some uneasiness around people who had a very different upbringing and lifestyle than she had.

“No, it’s okay … it used to be a dump, but it’s changed drastically in the last couple of years. A few cafés and restaurants started opening up in the district. Actually, it’s one of my favorite neighborhoods.”

“Really? Why? Other than growing up here …”

“I guess I feel like I could relate. It’s quite extraordinary how a place that was once so rundown can all of a sudden reinvent itself, breathing life into a corners that have been dormant for so long, becoming one of the most vibrant and exciting neighborhoods in the city.”

“But it takes people to invest, and it takes people to want to come in a place to spend their money.”

“Ah, yes, but it all starts with a dream and some sort of belief.”

Nick stopped at an empty building with a sign in the window that read: loft for rent.

“This is it.”

“This is what?”

“One day I’m going to open up my very own gallery, right here.” Nick held out his arms.

Olivia smiled at his enthusiasm, the glee in his eyes made her believe this was more than just a silly dream for him. She could relate to what it was like to want something so badly. And so she wished it even more for him.

“So aren’t you glad you came out? You have to admit that was the best hamburger you ever had.”

“It was alright.” Olivia shrugged.

“Oh, come on, I saw how you wolf down that hamburger. It never had a chance.”

She laughed and nudged him. “I did not!”

As they approached the corner, Olivia frowned. “Where are we going? You parked the car down there.”

“I thought we’d go for a walk since it’s not too cold.”

“A walk?”

“Yeah, you know … an activity that consists of one step after another.” He demonstrated. “Preferably more enjoyable done with someone else.”

When he saw her hesitate, he said, “Come on, let’s wander.”

“What I meant was, is it safe to walk around … here?”

Nick looked back then return his gaze to her. “What are you worried about? I thought you said you had a black belt in Jiu-Jitsu?”

“I do … my dad made sure I knew how to defend myself.”

Oddly enough, she had the means to protect herself, yet nothing protected her from Dario.

Nick pulled his collar up higher, digging his hands deeper into his pockets. “Good, now I feel much better knowing you’re able to protect me from any dangerous men lurking in dark corners.”

Olivia laughed, enjoying the comfort of silence for a moment as they walked side by side.

He gave her a sideways glance. “Not that it’s any of my business, but I just wanted you to know, if you ever want to talk … I’m here.”

She was conscious of how he watched her, as if the answer meant something to him. Nick wanted her to feel she could trust him and somewhere within her very confused heart she wanted to. Olivia wondered what he was trying to get at … the situation with Dario that happened earlier or the way she been victimized for the last five years. Could she really call herself a victim?

Yes, sure, Dario had unpredictable mood swings, but he never physically hurt her.

She couldn’t talk about it, not to anyone, because it went beyond admitting it to her family or her friends … or even Nick for that matter. Because once she said it out loud, dragging this huge secret into the light, then she would have to admit she let down the most important person … herself.

Where would that leave her?

“Would it be alright if we talk about it … another time? I just don’t want to ruin a perfect night.” She looked up at the night sky.

Nick nodded.

They came up to a bench overlooking a frozen canal. Across the canal, in the far distance, Olivia could see the red Farine Five Rose’s sign sitting on the roof of the old Ogilvie flour mill.

“So tell me about your family.” It seemed like Olivia couldn’t get enough of finding out more about him.

“Well, let’s just say I had a very different upbringing then yours. My dad left us when I was young.” He cleared his throat. “One day he went out for a pack of cigarettes and literally never came back.”

“How awful … It must have been so hard for you.” Olivia frowned.

“Yeah, it was, but more so for my mom who had to raise two boys on her own.” He ran his fingers inside his collar, like it was getting tighter by the minute. “It’s strange to say, but sometimes I think it’s hard to hate the guy. He never really mistreated us or anything. In the short time we had with him, he was good to us. Dan and I had a somewhat happy childhood.” He paused. “I remember when we were kids. We’d spend hours in the garage with my dad, watching him fixing up some old car.”

“So your dad was a mechanic?”

“Yeah, sometimes he would pick up old, run-down, vintage muscle cars. You know, the ones you’d find in open fields with the grass growing on the inside.” He smiled at the memory. “He would build them back up to their former glory and keep them for a short time until my mother got upset and he would have to sell it. After a while, and against my mom’s wishes, he would start the process all over again.”

“Have you ever seen your dad again?”

“No, but my brother, Dan, still keeps in touch with him.” He looked across the canal. “I heard he’s had a successful business building new homes somewhere in Calgary for the last fifteen years.”

“Oh, he’s a contractor like my dad.”

“Yeah, I guess … sort of.”

“I can’t imagine what that would be like to have someone you love just walk away like that. I’m sorry you had to go through something like that.”

“For a time I blamed myself. At first, I thought it was something I did. Then I realized he was the adult, and fathers aren’t supposed to leave their children. I just needed to get on with my life and focus on what matters to me most.”

“Well, from what I can see you turned out perfect. Well, except for the fact you’re fashionably challenged.”

He laughed as Olivia looked down to his poor choice of footwear: black high-top Converse sneakers, half soaked by the wet snow.

Her eyes met his gleaming ones. “You’re just jealous. You know I have a good sense of style. I’ll give you permission to copy it.”

She stifled a laugh. There was another long moment of silence, and she could feel Nick’s eyes watching her. When her eyes met his again, Olivia could tell he wanted to say more.

“Can I trust you?” Nick’s eyes softened.

There was a certain vulnerability and openness about his question that made Olivia wonder if she was worthy of such trust. She could hear it in the tone of his voice that he had been disappointed before.

“I mean, I know we haven’t spent a lot of time together, but I just really want you to know me.”

Olivia sat quietly under the lamp post light. Beside her she saw a man who desired to be understood. At that moment, she feared he might tell her something very profound that would maybe alter the way she viewed him. The truth was Olivia didn’t want any of the feelings stirring within her to change.

“I’m not blaming things on my father, but here’s the truth: Sometimes life makes you feel things you’re not even sure how to process. Sometimes you can’t even find the right word to describe what you’re feeling. I guess in time, it leads me to do a lot of stupid stuff … things that I’m not too proud of.

“I was fourteen when I got mixed up with the wrong crowd, I started cutting class. I did everything from stealing money from my mom to doing drugs. It wasn’t until I got arrested for trying to break into a hardware store that my mother had to do something drastic.”

“So what happened?”

“Well, my mother sent me to live with my paternal grandmother in the eastern townships. I had no car and no money, no way of getting back to the city. I was completely cut off from my former life.

“Being away gave me the proper time and space to feel my feelings, grasp what I was going through. I could just as easily blame my father for my problems, for my bad behavior, but that would have been too easy. I was so angry with him, I hated him for what he did to our family, but I had to own it—what I was doing to myself and to my family. Over time I figured I had two choices: fuel my pain and go down into a blind hole or choose to find something positive to do with my life. That’s how the artist in me was born—”

She wasn’t afraid of the excess baggage he probably carried with him. She was just scared on how she could ever relate to a man who had been through so much.

“Listen, I just want you to know that’s not me … not anymore. I was stupid and young. I don’t usually share this much of myself with anyone. I hope this doesn’t change your mind about me.”

Olivia had taken a moment before she said anything. “Honestly, it would be a deal breaker if you were still that same person. And since that was the past, I won’t hold it against you.” She smiled.

“No, I’m not that person anymore.”

“I can see that. You’ve been through a lot.” Olivia paused. “It takes a very mature person to overcome something like that. It only makes me admire you more.”

“Well, a man only matures with every single scar that is engraved on his heart.”

“You talk like you have many?”

“Only a few. Perhaps some are not mine.”

Olivia wasn’t sure what he meant, but let it slide. She studied him in silence, wondering what to expect from Nick. It came to her only when his eyes diverted away from the canal back to hers. Even though it was dark outside, his eyes were so transparent it reminded her of a clear pool of water that she desired to get lost in. He revealed something that wasn’t easy to share, taking a chance and hoping that there would be no judgment … which meant he trusted her.

That was why she could confine her darkest secret and was safe to unravel herself. Olivia opened then closed her mouth, not sure what to say next. What could she say? Then she realized all she could offer him was her honesty.

“That night when I walked into your bar, I had just found out that my fiancé, Dario, had been cheating on me for the last three months.”

His eyes softened.

“That’s not the worst part …” She shook her head. “The worst part is I let him treat me like hell for the entirety of our relationship.” She paused. “I never imagined myself to be that kind of girl who allows someone to mistreat them. I never thought I was so weak.”

He devoured the air, as though he felt her pain or at least came close to it.

“Sometimes … we want something so badly we are willing to walk through shards of broken glass. That desire to be loved … it’s so blinding. It’s easy to be misguided. I don’t think you’re weak, Olivia. You should never feel ashamed, not for wanting to be loved.”

Olivia looked away because for a moment she thought she might cry. He placed a hand on hers, and she looked up.

“Do you know what happens after the glass breaks?”

She shook her head.

“You clean it up … and life moves forward.”