The Promise of Stardust (44 page)

I stayed put, watching her slip out of her skirt. “Come to bed and play.”

She smiled and studied me. “So tempting,” she said. “The mayor will be there.”

I rubbed my eyes and yawned. We'd met the mayor before. The first time I was a little starstruck. The second time I found myself disagreeing with him and called him on a couple of things, which hadn't sat too well with Carol or her father. The mayor was a regular visitor at the Wentworths', and although he had power and position, he wasn't any more fascinating than some of my patients and their families. That Carol needed to be a courtier to power brokers annoyed the crap out of me.

I rose and pulled on a pair of sweatpants. “I don't want to go tonight. I want to talk about something.”

“Is it important? We said we'd be there.”

“How many guests are your parents hosting? A dozen? Two dozen? We won't be missed.” I came up behind her so I could kiss her neck. She was sensitive there. “Listen, Phil offered me a position up in Portland, and I want to take it. I did a little checking. There are only a couple of pediatric surgeons in the area. You could—”

“Matt, we've already been through this. I'm not moving to Maine.”

“No discussion? You aren't even willing to consider Portland? It's a beautiful small city. It has an art museum—”

“You cannot be serious. I'm a New Yorker. Beautiful? Sure, Maine is beautiful for a weekend, especially a weekend when we're there to be tourists. But I don't want to live there. We can visit; we can vacation, but I am not moving there to practice medicine.”

“I want you to give this more than an unchecked dismissal this time. Anything you can get in New York, you can have there, too.”

“I know you're serious, but so am I. I love New York's energy, its people, its diversity. Right outside your door. I don't want to live in a small town. I can't. The people are all so narrow-minded.”

“I grew up in a small town.
My family
lives a small town.”

She drew a deep breath and sat on the edge of the bed. “I didn't mean to generalize. I didn't mean
your
family. And I certainly didn't mean you. Besides, you've been out in the world. And you're brilliant, and rather easy on the eyes.” She could be elitist, and she was insulting people and places I cared about. She kissed me, and I pulled away.

Her chin jutted out. “Please get dressed. I don't want to be late for my parents' party. After which, if you so desire, I'll remind you of how indispensable I am to you.”

Indispensable. The word echoed around my head. I thought about it. Who was indispensable to me? My family. Carol. Elle. Not necessarily in that order. Surely not Carol's parents or this dinner with their wealthy socialite friends. Her parents were gracious and polite, but I'd never once felt any real warmth from them, not toward me. Maybe toward Carol. They were no doubt proud of her. She reflected well on them, and I would be a socially acceptable partner for her, a graduate of an Ivy League school, a neurosurgeon. I didn't see us being chummy.

“I'm going to skip it tonight,” I said. “Tell them I'm beat from work. Tell them I'm on call. Tell them anything you feel will save face, but if you aren't even willing to consider going to Maine with me, I don't think I can play your command performance.” I pulled on a shirt and a hoodie and marched out of her loft.

Over the next few days Carol and I stopped talking. She wasn't speaking to me because I'd stood her up. On the other hand, I had begun to wonder which I wanted more, her or the job in Maine.

I called Elle and reached her machine. I called my brother Mike. He said I shouldn't make any rash decisions. I called Phil and asked for more time.

He gave me until the first of the year.

Carol and I were going to Maine for Christmas. Actually I was going home. She was coming so we could go skiing. It would always be this way, I realized. Maine was a destination of interest, not of affection, for Carol. In New York, we would live her lifestyle and I would become accustomed to it—not that living her lifestyle would cause me any hardship.

If I wanted to change things, I needed to do it soon. So, shortly after we arrived in Maine, I left Carol with Mom to do a little shopping in the local downtown boutiques, and I went into Phil's office, met Welsh, who I liked immediately, talked seriously about the practice, and accepted their offer.

I didn't tell Carol. I decided to wait until we got back to New York. She had six months to get used to the idea. If she couldn't, one of us would have to buckle. I'd have to stay in the city, or she'd come to Maine, or we'd have to call off the wedding.

Far too much bickering followed, and a few months before the wedding, with a stack of save-the-date notices piled high, I stood in front of Carol, shaking my head. “If you're not even willing to try it up there, then I don't think you should mail those,” I said.

Carol wrung her hands. “You're picking a job in the middle of nowhere over me?”

I cleared my throat. “It seems like you've made your own decision. You're choosing New York over me.”

She turned away and crossed her arms. “What do you want me to tell everyone?”

I didn't know if she was angry or shaken. And although I didn't want to hurt her, we needed to break the tie before it became disastrous. “Irreconcilable differences,” I said. “We don't want the same kind of life.”

   45   

The Galveston restaurant sported a tiki-hut motif, very tacky and very fun. Fortunately Hank, who was hosting the extravaganza, had reserved the patio for the Beaulieu and McClure clans to congregate. My brothers' boys were causing generalized mayhem, darting around and drinking out of coconuts—correction, spilling out of coconuts—and causing too much hubbub to be in a public space. Meanwhile the adults gathered around an Olympic-pool-length table that overlooked the expansive beach.

In the time leading up to Elle's space flight, my entire family decided to attend the launch. Any excuse for a Florida vacation sounded wonderful in the dead of a Maine winter, but then Elle informed us she would be quarantined at the Johnson Space Center the week prior to her flight. It seemed that even the common cold would be bad news for an astronaut in orbit. “I'll wave from the launch pad,” she said, “but the last time I'll be able to see you in person will be before I go into quarantine.”

After some discussion, Hank moved the good-luck-party venue to Texas. A few people balked that Houston didn't sound nearly as fun as Florida until Hank suggested staying at the beach on the Gulf of Mexico. “A beach is a beach,” he said. “And we'll all be ready for some sun by the end of April.”

So only a few weeks after breaking up with Carol, I sat staring out over the Gulf. I hadn't told anyone yet. It could wait until afterward. Elle deserved to have everyone's focus on her, and frankly I didn't want to field the how-are-you-doing-with-your-broken-heart questions.

In the distance, oil rigs loomed on the horizon. The air was warm and sweet and calm in the way that lulls a man to sleep, and I was looking forward to seeing Elle.

My brother Mike dropped into the chair next to mine and slapped me on the back so hard he almost knocked me out of my seat. “Okay, your wedding's in what—four months? You want a stripper for your bachelor's party? As your best man, I have to plan this thing and I need a little lead time since it's in New York.”

I coughed, suddenly realizing I'd have to let everyone know tomorrow morning so they didn't make plans or, God forbid, buy wedding gifts. “No, ah, don't worry about that tonight,” I said. This was Elle's night, and thankfully, since Carol had never planned to attend the gathering, it seemed reasonable that I could dodge questions about her for few more hours.

At that moment my four-year-old nephew did it for me. He grabbed Mike's shirt. “Dad, you gotta come see the bird.” The kids were all looking at a pelican about a dozen yards from the deck.

“Guess I ought to go be a parent. Want to come?” Mike asked.

“Sure,” I said. He swung his son up onto his shoulders, and we trudged over to the railing to get a better view.

Fifteen minutes later Elle finally arrived, wearing a sleeveless blue-and-white sundress. She was glowing with excitement and grace, her lifelong dream days from realization. Elle laughed a little as she searched our faces. “Ya know I'm just going to work for a couple of days. It's not that big a deal.”

I nodded at her, and her eyes held mine. She half smiled as if we were sharing a secret with no one else around us. That's how it had always been, the two of us alone although surrounded by our families.

Toasts buzzed around the table, all in her honor, until it came to her brother, who had brought his girlfriend. Christopher stood and held up his goblet. “To my big sister, who has always been there for me. I want to ask you if you would do me one more huge favor.”

Her eyes shifted back and forth. “Huge, huh? Well, maybe I'd better know what it is first. The last time you asked me for a
huge
favor, I ended up writing a term paper for you.”

The group cackled. Christopher was bright, but he never shared Elle's academic prowess. He glanced at his girlfriend, as if to apologize. “That wasn't one of my prouder moments,” he said. “This is. Arianne and I are hoping you'll be—and don't take this wrong, Elle, but would you be my best man? Arianne and I are getting married.”

Elle's mouth fell open, and she jumped up and ran over to hug Christopher, and then pulled in Arianne, too. “Oh my God! Really?”

Maybe it was sour grapes on my part, but I thought how very like Christopher this was. Elle waited her entire life for this moment. She put off school to take care of him when she was just a kid herself, and once more, Christopher selfishly turned the attention to himself.

“Wait, what do you mean ‘best man'?” Elle's eyes narrowed. “I wore a dress tonight 'cause I can't wear one in zero G, and still, I'm just one of the guys. Jeez, I can't win.”

“I want you to stand up for me,” Christopher said.

“Can't do that in zero gravity either.”

He pretended to strangle her. “You can wear a dress or a monkey suit as long as you promise me you'll be there.” And releasing her neck, Christopher kissed her cheek. “Please?”

Elle's stance softened, and she hugged Christopher. “You know it, baby brother. I won't miss it.”

Maybe Christopher was making her swear to come back to Earth, and I wanted her to keep that promise, but after his announcement no one talked about Elle. The toasts turned to him. Cacophonous conversations rounded the table and then circled back and forth.

As one of the last hangers-on, I waited for my good-bye and grabbed a quick hug. “The next time I see you, you'll be in the history books, Peep.”

She batted me. “NASA doesn't make the books anymore unless it's a disaster. Just say ‘good luck.' ”

“Good luck,” I mouthed, but really I was whispering a prayer.

“Will you keep me company and walk the beach for a while? I have to stay up late. They're trying to move our sleep cycles around for the flight.”

“Absolutely,” I said.