The Princess's Dragon (33 page)

I cannot promise I won’t ever make another mistake, but I swear on my honor that I will never place you in danger again. I will never lift a sword against you.”

Derek shuddered at the memory and the intensity of his anguish shook

✥ Th e Princess’s Dragon ✥

197

Sondra to her core. She didn’t realize that while she’d been moping about her lost love, Derek had been emotionally torturing himself. He blamed himself when he’d done nothing wrong—and now he feared she couldn’t trust him?

Sondra touched a soft hand to his hard cheek, the rasp of his shaven skin scraping softly on her palm. The contact sparked a little wisp of desire and she quickly pulled her hand away, closing her fingers around her tingling palm.

“Lord Derek, what you attempted to kill was a full-grown dragon that you believed had eaten me. I can hardly hold it against you that you sought to avenge my death. No one could have suspected the truth. You did nothing wrong! You must stop tormenting yourself over a past we cannot change.”

“I should have suspected. I should have recognized you! If I had, you needn’t have run away, and we could have found a way to reverse whatever foul sorcery befell you. I shudder to think of the horrors you must have suffered alone and trapped within that monstrous form.” Sondra spared a brief bleak thought for the memories of her time as a dragon when she’d been so incredibly happy.

“Lord Derek, I officially and personally absolve you of giving any offense. I trust you absolutely and would not hesitate to place my life in your hands, since I know that you are a good and honorable man and would never intentionally harm me. I hope you can find it within you to absolve yourself and free yourself from your nightly torment.” Sondra pulled both her hands away from him gently, uncomfortable with the warmth growing between them and the way his eyes darkened to a soft twilight as they gazed at her.

Her movement broke the spell, and he arose to his feet, huge and graceful, his leg muscles, outlined by his court breeches, bulging and shifting as he straightened to his full height, towering over her as she leaned against the parapet. He bowed his head, his eyes closed for a moment, and he sucked in a deep breath before meeting her gaze again.

“With your forgiveness, I can move on, Princess. Perhaps there is still hope for this wounded old soldier,” he said, his smile teasing again. She shoved him hard and nearly fell back as he remained immobile.

“You are a relentless tease, a trickster. Why I do believe you have attempted to play on my sympathies, you unconscionable rogue. What scandalous behavior. I shall order that you be publicly flogged …” Derek’s laughter interrupted her mock outrage, and she smiled at him, pleased to see the frightening solemnity melt away and the old Derek return.

198

✥ Susan Trombley ✥

He stopped laughing, his eyes pinned to her mouth, and Sondra held her breath, her heart pounding, as he lowered his head and pressed his lips gently to her own. He broke the contact after mere seconds and took her arm gently.

“I should see you back to your chambers. You have been out for some time today and you have not regained your strength yet. I wouldn’t want your father to lock me in the dungeon for risking your health.” He steered her toward her suite, and she followed in a daze, her mind spinning. He spent the walk back regaling her with another anecdote before depositing her with her maid with a promise to visit later. The door closed behind him, and Sondra slumped on her bed, shaken by the kiss and her inflamed response to his touch. She dropped her head in her hands and moaned aloud.

“What am I going to do?” she asked as Liliana helped her out of her gown and into a dressing robe.

“With him?” The maid inquired.

Sondra just looked at her in answer.

“I say do anything and everything you can think of because he is absolutely the most gorgeous man in the kingdom,” she answered emphatically.

Sondra groaned again as Liliana tucked her in and left the room, shaking her head at her princess, who actually thought the devotion of a beautiful man was something to groan about.

Sondra didn’t have much of a rest, though, as her family descended for their daily visits. First, both her parents swirled in, enveloped her in hugs, fluffed and fussed with her blankets and pillows, asked after her health, and asked again just what she remembered about the events leading up to her ensorcelment. After many reassurances that she felt fine, grew stronger every cycle, and her arms were no longer sore, Sondra once again claimed that she did not remember what had happened or retain much memory of her time as a dragon. Her parents, dissatisfied as always with the vague and uninformative answers, left her in momentary peace.

Soon, Sarai and Sergen appeared. Sarai gave her a fierce hug before she could even speak and pulled out her embroidery, bringing a stool next to the bed to visit and chat like old times. Sergen rolled his eyes at Sarai.

“I just came by to check on you, Sondra. I’m going to the training field; Father is going to let me train with the soldiers, and Lord Derek even said he would help me with my swordplay.” Sergen nearly bounced with excited

✥ Th e Princess’s Dragon ✥

199

anticipation. Sondra smiled at his exuberance, grabbed his arm, and pulled him in to a hug, from which he promptly struggled free, and bid him hurry before Lord Derek grew impatient. He raced from the room without another word, waving as he shut the door.

Sarai visited for over an hour and it felt good to gossip with her sister again, catch up on all the petty intrigues she’d missed, and simply spend time in Sarai’s restful presence. Sondra enjoyed her visits, but Sarai always ended them by repeating the same questions her parents asked, was she certain she remembered nothing? For Sondra, every lie felt like another betrayal of her family, until she grew to dread their visits as much as anticipate their company.

There was one visitor she never expected to see but found herself greeting for the first time in rotas, only cycles after she arrived back in Ariva. On that cycle, to her shock her sister Elona stood in her doorway and for a moment Sondra could almost swear her sister appeared uncertain, but then she bustled into the room with her usual graceful efficiency. Sondra braced herself, the way she always did when confronting her sister, expecting a battle of wills that she had no chance to win. Instead, her sister took a seat beside her and rather than boldly meeting her gaze, Elona stared down at the end of the lounge where Sondra had propped her feet in jaunty little slippers.

“Are you well?” Elona asked, without a trace of her usual contempt. Sondra noted that her sister looked thinner than usual, and pale, but that only served to make her more beautiful.

“I’m feeling better. And you? I hear that I have a new nephew that I can’t wait to meet.”

Elona’s smile at the mention of her son was beatific. It was obvious she loved the child and Sondra was a bit taken aback that her sister possessed the capacity to love anyone more than herself.

“He is beautiful! When you are feeling stronger I’ll bring him by for you to meet. You will like him. He reminds me a lot of you when you were little.” Sondra glanced at her sister in open surprise. Elona still wouldn’t meet her eyes. She continued into Sondra’s stunned silence, determined to get the words out.

“You were an adorable baby and a good child. I am sorry, Sondra, about the way I treated you when we were growing up. When we thought you were gone, I didn’t think I would ever get the chance to ask your forgiveness.” 200

✥ Susan Trombley ✥

Elona finally looked at Sondra where she sat with her jaw gaping open.

She turned away again. “I know that we are very different and I don’t expect us to miraculously become best friends but I would like to have your forgiveness and a chance to know you as an adult.” Elona fell silent, waiting.

Sondra pulled herself together and snapped her mouth shut, thinking back over all the childish torments Elona put her through while they were growing up. Then she looked at her sister, really studied her. Fine lines showed around her eyes, and hollow shadows highlighted her face where her own hardships left their mark. Sondra realized that Elona had her own fears, dreams, and wishes, separate from what seemed to be her mission of making Sondra miserable. She realized that she had never, until this moment, thought of her sister as a person in her own right. She suddenly felt an incredible desire to know this woman, this stranger who shared her bloodline.

Elona waited for her to say something, only a slight tick in her right eye betraying her apprehension. Sondra didn’t answer; instead, she cautiously wrapped her arms around her sister and then the two women embraced, laughing and crying at the same time, relief and regret overwhelming them both. Elona visited with Sondra until sundeath that cycle and continued to visit as often as the rest of Sondra’s family.

This cycle Elona spent over an hour speaking of the condition of the kingdom since the battle at Ulrick Pass and what news she’d gleaned from conversations in the throne room about the state of the chasm and the enemy troops that still camped on the other side. After she updated Sondra, she finally left her to rest.

Sondra wondered at Elona’s amazing interest and perception of matters of state. Her eldest sister really seemed to care about the state of their kingdom as well as the political struggles taking place elsewhere. It was a subject Sondra rarely ever concerned herself with, always trusting that her father did an excellent job as king. It appeared that Elona felt strongly about the matter and had many of her own ideas and plans for the kingdom. For Sondra, the more she grew to know and understand her sister, the more she realized how blind she’d always been about her family, those she always thought she knew best.

She’d spent her entire life wrapped in illusions that gave her comfort, but kept her understanding superficial and her loved ones at a distance.

Another ten cycles passed with no sign of Tolmac. Sondra walked the curtain wall everyday, sometimes with Derek or Sarai, sometimes alone, but

✥ Th e Princess’s Dragon ✥

201

her eyes always searched the horizon and the massive Thunder Mountain at the center of Terroc’s Ring. Since the Warlord’s return to Ariva, riders came and went from the castle with news and updates from all over the kingdom, primarily from Passton, where messengers brought news of the now-cooled surface of the chasm they began calling the Black River. The enemy soldiers finally decamped, many fearfully searching the skies as they retreated, leaving their dead behind to feed the carrion birds.

Barselor issued an official apology and Queen Isa made veiled references to the way Halidor tricked them and misrepresented their new “guardians” as threats to all of the southern lands. No word came from Halidor, but neither did their soldiers come, once Ariva’s engineers completed a bridge over the chasm.

Derek ordered that the mercenaries receive their payment and released them from service. They promptly headed south, eager to spend their new fortunes as they saw fit. Ariva’s army built a new and permanent garrison at the Pass and the first unit of soldiers attached to the Black River fortress started serving their term as guards at the new outpost.

A Blade’s Edge representative arrived to inform Princess Elona that her husband died during the conflict and King Arctuor demanded she return his heir to Blade’s Edge immediately. The messenger left Elona’s presence pale and shaking, returning to his king and informing him that the youngest Bladen Pprince would remain in Ariva until all threat of war and unrest had been settled and a new and irrevocable treaty with Ariva signed to guarantee the safety of any Arivan citizens passing through Bladen territory.

Sondra used her time reacquainting herself with her family and found that she continued to grow closer to Elona, who proved to be a brilliant, charming, and engaging raconteur. They began riding out on the royal grounds in the mornings, and Sondra spent many of her evenings cuddling her precious nephew under the watchful and doting eye of his mother. She also spent a great deal of time with Sarai and Sergen, and offered them both the opportunity to take whatever they wished from her workroom. She found she no longer had interest in the study of logic.

During her times alone she often contemplated going to the Woods and seeking out the wizard. She wanted to beg him to make her a dragon again as each cycle that passed insulated her memories of that time, freeing her to live again but leaving behind a feeling of dissatisfaction. She saw no sign of 202

✥ Susan Trombley ✥

Tolmac, despite the fact that she constantly searched for him, and she could no longer feel anything but the faintest whisper of a bond where his spirit had once lodged comfortably. That was why she didn’t seek out the wizard, the reason that held her back. Tolmac didn’t want her; he’d made it quite clear when he’d disappeared and failed to return or even contact her through their bond. The rejection ripped her apart, then it ached, then it stung, and now, after some time to heal, it rankled. She wanted to confront him, to demand he listen to her side of the story, but she didn’t think she could bear another rejection. So Sondra didn’t hunt down the wizard and she began to suspect that the happiest moments of her life were destined to fade into memory.

She saw Derek nearly every cycle and he continued to charm her from her ennui and depression. He didn’t attempt to kiss her again, nor did he speak of their previous relationship; instead, he allowed her time to relax, to simply enjoy his company and his friendship. The more time she spent with him, the more Sondra recalled why she’d fallen for him in the first place. Under his handsome and charming surface, Sondra sensed the steel that he so rarely revealed. The knowledge of his inner strength and seriousness used to make her feel safe and secure; she doubted he’d ever encountered a situation he could not handle. She knew he would be a devoted and loyal husband and father, protecting her and their children to the death if it ever came to that.

She realized that she wanted children, and that she didn’t want to spend her life locked in the castle as an unmarried princess watching her youth and vitality fade. She wasn’t going to pine away for a love that didn’t love her back.