The Prince of Punk Rock (20 page)

Angel needed to discuss some issues
with the band after practice, and the diner was the only neutral ground Tommy
agreed to.
  
Tommy hadn’t set foot in
Angel’s apartment since the fight and he refused to go there, even though
Damien and Jimmy would be accompanying them.
 
Even when Angel purposely kept Jessi working later than usual hoping to
lure Tommy to come by looking for her, he never showed up.
 
Each rejection further enunciated the growing
distance between them.

Angel missed Tommy.
 
Music was their primary connection.
 
It brought them together and everything they
did centered on the harmony it created.
 
Now, with Tommy’s aloof detachment, music lost its draw.
 
Singing became an effort.
 
Motivation was nonexistent.
 
He wanted his prince back.

Angel followed Tommy closely as
they entered the diner and slid into the booth next him.
 
Their knees bumped together every once in a
while, occasionally on purpose.
 
Angel
waited until everyone was done eating and the dishes were cleared before he got
down to business.
 
“I want to ask you
guys a question, and don’t be afraid to answer honestly.
 
Do you feel like I dictate the direction of
the band?
 
Do you feel like you have
ownership, or do I make you feel like you’re musicians for hire?”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”
 
Tommy rolled his eyes. “I didn’t mean you
were a dictator.
 
I was just . . .
upset.”

“Well, you brought up a point and
it stuck in my head.
 
You wouldn’t have
said it if there wasn’t some truth in it.”

Damien and Jimmy shot uneasy
glances at each other, seemingly enlightened about the source of the friction
between him and Tommy.

“How do you guys feel?” Angel asked
them.

“I’m cool,” Damien said.
 
“I trust your decisions.
 
You’ve managed the band from day one and
you’ve never steered us wrong.”

“I take care of the beats,” Jimmy
said.
 
“Damien plucks the hell out of the
bass and Tommy makes magic on his guitar, but you run the show.”

“I don’t run the show.”

“Of course you do,” Tommy said,
“but, I don’t mean that in a bad way.
 
Without Angel Garcia, there is no Immortal Angel.
 
You’re the reason this band’s so
successful.
 
You’re smart.
 
You run the band like a business.
 
And you’re more talented than anyone I know.”

They locked eyes and shared a brief
intense exchange of emotion for the first time since their fight.
 
Angel swallowed the knot in his throat.
 
“You’re just as important, my prince. You’re
an integral part of this band.
 
So are
Damien and Jimmy.
 
It’s the collaboration
and the collective talent that makes Immortal Angel the top punk rock band on
the underground music scene.”
 
He looked
at Damien and Jimmy.
 
“You’re like
brothers to me.”
 
He reached for Tommy’s
hand, but stopped himself.
 
“And you know
how I feel about you, mi amor.
 
You mean
more to me with each day that goes by.”

Everyone looked uncomfortable and
Tommy looked paralyzed, but Angel’s heart was broken and his love for Tommy
couldn’t be contained.
 
He needed to hold
it together, though, before he said too much and scared Tommy even further
away.
 
He fiddled with his napkin and
tried to concentrate on the reason he asked everyone to the diner. “I’ve been
thinking about something,” he said slowly.
 
“I think it would be a good promotional opportunity if we made a music
video.”

“That’s alotta dough,” Damien
said.
 
“It’s a great idea, but the band
can’t afford to make a quality video.
 
And a shit video ain’t worth shit.”

“I’m going to finance it
myself.
 
Out of my own money.
 
It’s a thank you for all the hard work you
guys put into the band.”

“Me and Jessi got some money
saved.
 
We’ll help out.
 
You shouldn’t have to pay for it yourself,
A.”

“No. I want to do it.
 
For us.”
 
Angel’s real motivation for making the video was to bring Tommy close
again.
 
They would be forced to interact
with one another and to create chemistry again.
 
He needed to recapture the spark they shared.
 
He needed to win Tommy’s heart back.

The waitress came with the check
and dropped the black rectangular vinyl case on the table.
 
Tommy reached for it. “Let us get the
bill.
 
It’s the least we can do.”

“No.”
 
Angel went for the check and his hand landed
on top of Tommy’s.
 
It settled there, and
their hands relaxed.
  
They both stared
at their two hands, touching, both longing for more physical contact.
 
Angel’s fingers cradled Tommy’s hand, and he
slowly looked up at him.
 
“It’s OK, my
prince. I got this, too.”

Tommy’s blue eyes peeked through
the strands of his hair like the sky peeking through the clouds on a stormy
day.
 
They shined at Angel for a few
seconds before the corners of Tommy’s mouth curled just the tiniest bit, into
the sweetest little smile.

Jessi chewed a dark red fingernail
as she waited for Tommy to come home.
 
Since he and Angel were at odds with one another, she’d been on edge and
her manicure paid the price.
 
She tried
to play peacemaker.
 
She empathized with
the both of them, and wanted them to make up, but a little voice inside of her
said that maybe it was better this way.
 
With Angel out of the way, romantically, they could go back to the
causal one night stands that fulfilled and stabilized their marriage.
 
She frowned and mentally berated herself for
being selfish.
 
Tommy hadn’t smiled in
weeks. He was miserable without Angel.
 
That meant she was miserable.

Angel was a mess.
 
He stumbled through performances.
 
If they didn’t work out their differences,
Immortal Angel was doomed – and quite possibly her marriage, as well. How long
could Tommy go on pining for Angel before it took its toll?

Jessi leaned back on the couch and
stared at the ceiling.
 
Angel Garcia was
the monkey wrench life threw at her.
 
He
was her damnation. And her salvation.
 
He
was their ticket to fame and the missing puzzle piece to Tommy’s jagged
heart.
 
She knew their lives would be
turned upside down the moment they met and it’s been a roller coaster of a ride
ever since.

Tommy’s key in the door made her sit
up straight.
 
“How’d it go between you
two tonight?”

He closed the door behind him and
quietly sat down next to her.
 
“A little
better.”

“Did you talk to him?”

“I talk to Angel all the time.”

“I mean,
talk.
 
About stuff other than the band.”

“I want to.
 
I miss Angel, but I can’t get the image of
him and that guy out of my head.
 
When I
think about it, I get sick, and I can’t think about anything else.”

“Either you let Angel in or let him
go.”
 
She put her leg underneath her so
she could turn to face him.
 
“I can’t
keep watching you so unhappy, baby.”

“I don’t want to let Angel go, but
. . . that guy.”

“So what?
 
So he slept with some guy.
 
What do you expect him to do?
 
He’s a rock star.
 
He gets propositioned all the time.
 
He could take home a different guy every
night if he wanted to.
 
But I haven’t
seen him.
 
Have you?”

Tommy slowly shook his head.

“He has needs too, you know.
  
He’s only human.
 
And he’s hurting.
 
He’s trying so hard, but you keep your
distance.
 
He’s trying to make amends,
when technically, he didn’t do anything wrong.
 
Don’t make the poor guy grovel.
 
Forgive him already.”

“I know.
 
It’s just hard.
 
I feel like he cheated on me.”

“He didn’t cheat on you.”

Tommy was silent for a long
time.
 
His eyes didn’t look at her, they
looked
through
her.
 
“I’m
torn.
 
I love you, Jessi.
 
Nothing will ever change how much I love you,
but . . . I love Angel too.
 
And I feel
like a piece of shit for caring so much about him.”

Tommy’s confession and deep
feelings for Angel hit her in the gut like a ten ton truck.
 
Her chest caved in and cut off her
breath.
 
She screamed and cried on the
inside, but on the outside, she somehow managed to remain composed and unfazed.
She wore a mask of understanding and compassion and straightened her back, even
though her spine was as fragile as a wilted tulip in a gusty wind.
 
She pulled Tommy to her shoulder and stroked
his hair with a loving touch.
 
“I know,
baby.
  
Don’t worry.
 
Everything’s going to be OK.”
 
When she looked down at him, a single tear
streaked his cheek.

Tommy sniffled and wiped his
nose.
 
“I wish he didn’t sleep with that
guy.
 
I can’t get it out of my head.”

Tommy’s sadness infiltrated her
heart.
 
There was no longer any room for
her own pain.
 
The need to comfort him
far outweighed any fears she held inside.
 
She knew Tommy loved her, and she loved him enough to give him the
freedom to find himself.
   
To deny Tommy
would hinder his spirit.
 
She knew he was
bisexual when she married him, but she also always questioned if his
bisexuality was a stepping stone to his true identity. She would never deny his
needs.
 
She needed to be confident and
trust that their love was strong enough to survive.
 
She pressed her cheek against the top of his
head and put her lips to his silky hair.
 
“You have to move past it, baby.
 
Stop thinking about it.”

“But even if I could, then
what?
 
One night stands, remember?
 
That was our arrangement.
 
That was our agreement.
 
I can’t have a relationship with Angel.
 
It’ll change our whole life.”

She exhaled.
 
“Tommy, our whole life changed the day we met
Angel.
 
He won you over with his smile
and good looks, and he won me over with his talent and charm.
 
There’s no turning back now.
 
We have to move forward.”

Angel was the one person who could
steal Tommy away from her.
 
He threatened
her happiness.
 
He could end her
marriage.
 
He could take away the only
thing that mattered – the only person that she ever loved.
 
She wanted to hate Angel for tearing her life
apart.
 
She wanted to despise him for
causing Tommy grief.
 
She wanted to
loathe the sight of him, but she couldn’t.
 
He was sweet and kind, good-natured and good-humored.
 
He was generous and considerate.
 
He made Tommy happy and he made her
happy
too.
 
She could never hate Angel.
 
She adored him.