The Path of a Christian Witch (8 page)

His reign will come again so that we may be reunited with our Source.

He sent his Holy Spirit to walk with us and guide us always.

In the Christ light, we are all brothers and sisters. We gather around the teachings of the saints, those who knew him and understood his teachings, so that they may be kept alive in faith. And in this light, death shall not prevail.

[
1
]. Catholic Church,
Catechism of the Catholic Church
(Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 1997).

[
2
]. See the apostolic constitution
Divinus Perfectionis Magister
, issued in January 1983, as well as the “New Laws for the Causes of Saints” promulgated by the Congregation for the Causes of Saints a few weeks later. Both texts are available on the Vatican’s website, http://www.vatican.va/.

[
3
]. I strongly encourage you to read the full text of the Charge of the Goddess. The version of the Charge adapted by Doreen Valiente is available in many books. See, for example, Starhawk,
The Spiral Dance
(San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1999).

The Merging: Dealing with the Contradictions

A Year and a Day

I entered the square and walked around it in a clockwise motion. This was one of my sacred spaces. There was something about it, as if it were invisible to the world outside. There was always a special glow of light that changed colors suddenly and without explanation. Eight tall trees lined one side of the square. Four small trees stood guard on each quarter, my guardians. Around me the world continued to bustle, cars speeding on the busy boulevard and people walking by in a hurry. But once I stepped into the shade of the trees, the wind itself changed. The light changed color and sound was dampened, as if I had just walked into a ring of fog. Although I stood in bright daylight, I felt no one could see me. I was between the worlds.

I recalled the day that I had withdrawn from Crescent Moon School. My head had been a mess. I had just finished my first year of occupational therapy and was working part-time as an occupational-therapy assistant. I had been planning my wedding and organizing our new apartment. Family was coming from overseas. There was a lot on my mind. I couldn’t deal with the questions I knew I had to face: What is God? What do I believe? How do I reconcile my faith with the workings of the church? How do I fit in the practice of my religion with Witchcraft, and how do I express it in my daily life without confusing everyone, including myself ? How do I stay true to it all? I could not walk into a church without feeling a certain unease in my chest. Although I knew that I was doing nothing wrong, it had been too much to deal with psychologically. I had to take a step back.

I felt different now. I was settled in to my new life. I had completed my second year, and I was looking forward to a summer of clinical rotations. The weather was beautiful. I felt stronger. I was no longer a child. I had left my parents’ house and was now in charge of a household. I was also responsible for my patients’ well-being. I had faced the challenges of my new life and I was victorious. I felt a new confidence. Over the past year I had gained a powerful ally: faith. Faith that I can survive anything. No matter how dark things got, I kept my hope and faith alive and lived with the knowledge that the darkness would blow over. And it did. Armed with this weapon, I feared nothing.

I breathed in the sunshine and felt the clouds dispelling. It was a year since I had contacted anyone at Crescent Moon School. I had passed by the store regularly to get my fix of the magical blend of incenses and oils. I missed it all terribly. Magic and Witchcraft had become such a life-giving part of my life that its absence gnawed at me horribly. Why didn’t I just try again? I could at least sit through the deity part and see where it would lead me. No one forced me to sign my soul over to an obscure cult. What did I have to lose? I was already losing. It was time to face my demons once more. I had defined what my beliefs were. I now had to deal with the apparent contradictions in dogma between the two traditions.

I bowed my head.

“I dedicate myself to a year and a day of studying and searching. Lord, please guide me.”

A God of Many Faces

Months passed and the deity section loomed ahead. I was determined to give it a chance. I was also determined to be true to myself and not be swayed by others’ reactions. I had a lifetime friendship with Jesus. I would not trade that for any number of magic wands or vials of potions. I would present myself to my Lord and present my Lord to others with no shame.

We started reviewing deity figures one pantheon at a time, from the Middle East, to Greece and Rome, through to Asia, Central America, and the Polynesian islands. Then one day I opened my notes to the day’s lecture and the room collapsed around me. Staring back at me was a list of figures from the Judeo-Christian pantheon. I whispered each name, each syllable familiar on my tongue like a rolling mantra, a song of old that had suddenly been reawakened in me. I looked at the names on the page: names of angels, men and women from the Old Testament and New Testament, ancient deities of Babylon still recorded in the Scriptures, names of saints . . .

My whole being wanted to sit in the midst of these people, wanted to celebrate and learn with them. It was a feeling beyond the logic and scrutiny of my studies up to now, the careful calculation as to how much over the line it was safe for me to cross. My lineage. At last.

Monotheism vs. Polytheism

The majority of Witches practice some form of polytheism, often through reverence to ancient-world pantheons. The first and second commandments received by Moses on Mount Sinai state:

I am the Lord your God who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You must have no other god besides me
. (Exodus 20:2–3)

An apparent problem poses itself: Is it possible to be a monotheistic Witch? Is it possible to be a polytheistic Christian? Wicca is not regimented by an authoritative body that dictates rules of practice and dogma. Within a Pagan framework, the practice of monotheistic Witchcraft would be a personal choice and would still figure as a minority belief rather than the usual route. But it is a viable choice.

The beauty of polytheism is that it offers the opportunity for a personal dialogue with different deity figures that correspond to our needs and questioning of the moment. A Witch working with an Egyptian pantheon will have multiple deities to invoke for different aspects of daily life: Isis for healing, Bast for creativity, Ra for protection . . .
Monotheism, by contrast, is much less personal and accessible on issues relating to daily life. For example, it would surely feel more appropriate to offer a word of praise to Vesta, Roman goddess of the hearth in matters of keeping peace and unity in a home, than to Almighty Jehovah, who at first glance seems far removed from such matters. This presence of the Divine in the most mundane activities gives great appeal to the Pagan way of life. How wonderful to relate to God in our everyday life! How great to set an altar in our home to ensure our safety or our health and prosperity! Is it possible to keep this aspect of intimacy within a monotheistic framework?

I spent every spare moment reading and researching. The predominant wave of religious and theological thought in academic circles has been strongly dominated by the monotheistic view. But as I read, I found an interesting variation on this theme.
Monotheism by exclusion
is exemplified by the Judeo-Christian religion, and this is what we usually refer to when we speak of monotheism. Only one name designates the true god: “YHWH is One and his Name is One.”

By contrast,
monotheism by inclusion
offers an interesting alternative.
[1]
In this ideology there are many gods, who for social or cultural reasons have merged into one entity. In this practice, either one name emerges as being the one true name of the deity, or all names become equal. Since our understanding of the Divine is limited by our human nature, it is only to be expected that an infinite number of names and manifestations arise. Our intelligence is limited by our ability to name things. Often, and this is especially true of spiritual matters, words are inadequate to describe the experiences and teachings we receive. They are better described in terms of states, feelings, or symbols—concepts that are poorly translated into the faculty of language.

The many names and shapes of the “manifestations” of the Divine give us a means of experiencing divinity on a daily level. Even the church sees the importance of this most human need to relate to the Divine in a personal way. The patronage of saints is a clear example. Countless Christians pray to Saint Joseph for matters related to work and family, to Saint Jude for desperate causes, and to Saint Anthony of Padua for finding lost things. This form of monotheism includes a many-faceted aspect of the Divine without betraying the worship of the one God that is familiar to Christians.

I am asked often whether I truly believe that Jesus is a god, whether Mary is a goddess. The truth is that I do not know what God is. This question has been the center of debate since the foundation of the Christian church. A number of people, including bishops and priests, were excommunicated from the early church for venturing ideas on the divine nature of Christ and of the Holy Trinity. Anyone who formulated new theories on this topic risked the label of heretic. The great Origen of Alexandria, the early Christian theologian, made a clear distinction between truth, which he based on Scripture, and opinions, which are speculations on the unknowable. He did not condemn these opinions; he actually proposed a number of them. Opinions are dangerous only when they are proclaimed as truths. We need to continue exploring possibilities, theories, new ways of grappling with the Mysteries. We need working paradigms to connect to the Divine and to acknowledge its presence in our daily life. It is the only way we can fulfill ourselves as human beings.

As far as God is concerned, I believe in an ever-flowing force, ever changing, ever creating. I believe that Jesus is an embodiment of that force. I believe that such a divine force cannot come into the world stranded from itself completely. It must surround itself with the greatest possible
expression of godliness it can find. Mary was the greatest expression of the Divine Feminine present in the world. That makes her God-dess to me. The others who have found
holiness within themselves and who have transcended their human limitations to express this exalted state, they are godly to me. They are deities. They have walked both worlds, the earthly and the divine. There could be no more perfect expression of God.

My tradition abounded with such figures, all complex and mysterious. These people, gelled by the scribes of history, had grown beyond the confines of their mortal lives. They were magnificent and immortal. They were a mythology in its true sense. I only had to sit with them and take a moment to discover them in a new way.

The Person of Jesus

Everything revolves around Jesus . . .