The Path of a Christian Witch (14 page)

It used to be that young boys would have to perform a great feat, such as a vision quest or killing their first game, before being admitted into the ranks of the men. And then what a celebration: to become a man! Couldn’t our young boys and girls receive equal honors for landing their first jobs at a video store? Or when they move out on their own for the first time? Growing up has become an unchartered territory. We wonder why so many young people seem lost, unsure of themselves and insecure in front of responsibility. They try in vain to figure out if they are adults, while the world continues to consider them as children. A celebration of first menses for a girl recognizes her new role as a woman. She may still be a child, but her body is ready to conceive. What better time than that to have a private celebration with other women to celebrate the Great Mother and to acknowledge the responsibility she holds as the giver of life?

Boys, too, need the recognition and the self-confidence to take responsibility. When hormones are raging and puberty is taking over, why not celebrate a coming of age? A trip with other men, in nature, can awaken a sense of responsibility for the survival of others. The legacy of such a trip can last through generations. The memory of the father figure will be linked forever to that moment of celebration, a moment not only learned but lived.

Being part of organized religion does not preclude our celebration of rites of passage. Different denominations of Christianity have different sacraments that link us all in a great family of faith. That link remains important to me, because solitary practice is, in fact, quite solitary. There is great joy in sharing a moment with others of like faith. That is why I have continued to participate in the rites of my church. But I keep my eyes and heart open for other reasons to celebrate and offer thanks to the Almighty. There are so many!

Join me in ritual

Light a coal, drop a few grains of myrrh and frankincense on it, and let the smoke fill your personal sanctuary. This is the house of God, a place of worship, a place to meet face to face with the Divine. We are all gathered to bring forth the holy fire of life and love, and to draw it deep within our souls so that it may sustain and nourish us.

The altar has been set for a sacred occasion. At each quarter is a representative of the elements: salt in the north, frankincense and myrrh rising in the east, a candle in the south, and a chalice of water in the west. Two white candles stand in honor of our Lord and Lady. A red candle stands in the center, symbol of the Holy Spirit, the holy fire within. It shines with cinnamon oil, its aroma mixing with the rising frankincense. In front of this candle is a pitcher of warm water and a cup. Leaves of nettle, thyme, and lavender lie in the cup, awaiting their awakening.

In preparation, let us wash our hands so that our intentions may be pure and true.

“Lord Jesus, keep me faithful to your commandments and teachings so that I may never be separated from you.”

Merging our energies together, let us walk around our altar, casting a circle of light to protect our sacred rite.

“Light of the moon, in its full tonight, protect our space.”

Walk with me to the north quarter and raise your hands:

“Archangel Raphael, guardian of the realms of earth, of strength and healing, bless us with your presence on this most sacred occasion. Hail and welcome!”

Then to the east:

“Archangel Gabriel, guardian of the realms of air, of inspiration and wisdom, bless us with your presence on this most sacred occasion. Hail and welcome!”

In the south:

“Archangel Michael, guardian of the realms of fire, of courage and passion, bless us with your presence on this most sacred occasion. Hail and welcome!”

Then in the western corner:

“Archangel Uriel, guardian of the realms of water, of love and compassion, bless us with your presence on this most sacred occasion. Hail and welcome!”

Our space is dedicated. We walk back to the altar.

Light our Lord’s candle, saying:

“Lord, you promised that you would be with us until the end of time. We ask you to sit in our midst so that our spirits may be filled with your life-giving light.”

We then light our Lady’s candle:

“Holy Mother, you are the gateway to life. Fill us with the love only a mother knows and soothe our thirsty souls.”

We now light the spirit candle. We focus all our energy into the center of our being, and we let it reach down into the life-sustaining earth. As a tree reaches for nourishment with its roots, so too do we draw up energy from the earth. We let it bubble and whirl in the center of our being. The flame flickers as the energy mounts, symbol of our request for holy fire within. When you can hold no more, blow this energy gently into the bowl of water. The water is now full of the earth’s energy, of your breath, and of the holy fire of our dedicated candle. Truly holy water.

“Water of healing and purification, be blessed in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and of the circle of Holy Women. Amen.”

Pour the water onto the herbs. In this cup, behold the purity of water, the healing of the earth, the breath of life, and the holy fire that make everything come to pass. Let us sit quietly with our Lord and Lady, their angels, and the blessed power of the elements. Listen with your heart for words of wisdom the Holy Ones have for you. We are in their midst. They wish to teach us. Let us receive their wisdom and teachings. That is why we have come. That is why we are here.

“Thy will be done.”

Bring the cup to your lips and let all the goodness of Spirit fill you with life.

“Thy will is done.
Now we go into the world.
May your holy fire shine within us and sustain us always.
Amen.”

To Seek

There came a time when I had to leave Crescent Moon School. I had learned much, and I am forever grateful to my teachers for giving me a safe place to search for myself and to discover the magic of the world. But it was time to leave that safe nest and to wander the world in search of new teachers and new experiences. There was no Book of Shadows for me to receive and no ordination to consecrate me to clergyhood. I had to make my own way. Such was the path that I had chosen.

Random steps took me to a variety of places. I attended Pagan festivals and met interesting people. I visited the Spiritual Science Fellowship. There, I attended lectures on unity in diversity, metaphysics, and quantum physics. I saw the most beautiful depiction of our world. At the same table sat an Eastern Orthodox scholar, a priest, a rabbi, a sheik, and two yogis. They all talked about what unified us, the common points in our faith, instead of focusing on the divides in practice. From there, I started reading about metaphysical occurrences in Eastern Orthodox monasteries and how devoted hermits can reach states of levitation, healing, and bilocation.

More random steps took me to a shamanic retreat, where I learned the basics of journeying through the different spirit worlds. This was a way to continue my training without having to deal with the complications of religion. I discovered dance meditation and went on to learn Reiki, chakra balancing, and somatics. I took courses in bioethics and theology. I read about Kabbalah and Gnosticism and mythology and quantum physics, and although I was not enrolled in any form of structured magical training, I soon found myself studying a curriculum of my own making. My studies were my path. I sat in meditation to receive wisdom from above and drew from what I read, building my repertoire of tools and symbols so that I could reach out and communicate better with the world above and the one around me.

One of my religion teachers in high school, an elderly Jesuit, once told us that studying was the greatest act of loving kindness one could practice. You never know when something you’ve read or a skill you’ve learned may help someone else in their time of trouble. Studying is also a way of reconnecting with those who have passed before us and who have taken the time to put their thoughts and experiences to paper. It is an act of devotion to our ancestors and an act of love for future generations who will benefit from the fruits of our labor. With this in mind, everything you do is an act of love, whether it is theology, music, or plumbing. Jesus came with nothing and walked the world with nothing. All his power was within himself. My wandering years taught me that we must invest in ourselves and carry our gifts wherever we go. Our knowledge can be used to teach others, or entertain, heal, or support others. I became the instrument of my practice.

Creating sacred space

Witchcraft is not easy. To be a Witch is infinitely more than casting spells and reading Tarot cards. It is a path based on revelation and constant communication with another realm. Such a path cannot be lived in the midst of turmoil. I would go as far as saying that it is outright dangerous for a person to attempt this path if she is not at peace with herself. It needs to be walked in a space of clarity. How easy it would be, otherwise, to shape and distort the messages of the unseen to suit our own agendas, even with the best of wills.

One must live in complete honesty with oneself and the world. One must be able to receive wisdom and question its source: did that come from a place of higher wisdom, or is that my own voice trying to serve my own purpose? Imagine if such a person attempted to act as a guide to others, using a gift of revelation to manipulate or trigger reverence. What damage could ensue! Too many people of the Craft flaunt their gifts to awe vulnerable people. This drives the Craft underground. Such behavior is not acceptable from any Witch.

For Christians, humility and compassion are fundamental teachings. I asked our Lord once to help me understand what it meant to be humble. That night I had a dream. A group of us were playing volleyball on a beach. A friend passed by angrily. She was heavily pregnant and was angry not to be included in our game. As she stomped away, she slipped in the sand and fell. I ran to her to see if she was all right. She clutched her belly in fear, looking up at me for reassurance. A light came out of nowhere and shone on both of us. I told her, “You have to let go of your own desires and put the baby first, no matter what. Nothing else matters but your child.”

When I woke up, I sat puzzled. Did that relate to humility at all? But I realized that this dream epitomized the essence of humility completely. Humility is forsaking ourselves for the sake of something bigger. One who does not display this kind of humility cannot be a Witch, for whose goal is not the greater good will not receive true wisdom.

The search we embark on cannot be done in the midst of turmoil. This is why finding sacred space within ourselves and in the world is so important. A Witch does not need a temple of wood and stone. She is her own sanctuary. This sanctuary is a special place, and although we are born with its structure, it is a place we need to build one step at a time.

Make room for silence:
In our modern world, there is little opportunity for silence. We almost fear it. We live in the bustle of busy workplaces, noisy supermarkets, deafening entertainment venues . . . It seems that the minute we do get a moment of silence, we feel uncomfortable and restless. We automatically turn on the radio in the car or turn on the television while we cook dinner. When we learn to sit in silence without feeling uncomfortable, that is when we can start cultivating peace. By changing the outside world, we also change our inner world. By making space for silence in our routine, we make place for inner silence to come forth. If we are to receive wisdom in our Self, our minds and hearts have to be uncluttered from our daily cares just for a few moments. Cultivating silence allows us to switch “on” our sacred space by focusing inward and reconnecting with our Spirit.

Grounding and centering:
Grounding is a common meditative technique and is the starting point of all magical work. No magic is safely done without grounding. It is a way to connect energetically to the earth in order to gain its stability. It also allows excess energy to be sent back to the earth, where it can be recycled. If this excess energy is left to accumulate inside the body instead, we can become heady and even faint. Being grounded allows us to channel and work with great amounts of energy without losing control. In this state, we work “in Presence”; that is, we work with as much energy as we need while remaining fully aware of our Self and of our surroundings.

Grounding meditation:
Sit down in a quiet place. Make sure you will not be distracted and that you are comfortable. Loosen your clothing, let down your hair . . .

Close your eyes. Take a moment to be present. Close the door on the events of the day, leave them behind for a moment. Breathe in through your nose, hold your breath in your belly for a couple of seconds, and then exhale gently through your mouth. Release all the tension in your mind and in your body with your exiting breath. As you inhale, imagine that you are inhaling a soothing light that fills your body. This light brings warmth and a deep relaxation. Continue inhaling light and exhaling tension, until you feel vibrant and peaceful.

Focus on your body. Notice where your energy is concentrated. Is there a part of your body that holds more energy than other parts? Is there a place where you feel most stable, a place where you feel at home? This is your center, the center of your energy body. Take a few moments to concentrate on that point, to feel the well-being in your sacred body space.