The Ohana (33 page)

Honolulu: 1978

Jackie stared at the doctor. “You made a mistake.”

Dr. Wong took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “I’m afraid not. The tests are indisputable.”

Jackie leaned forward, gripping the arms of her chair. “Then take more tests.”

“Jackie …” Gerry placed a hand on her shoulder.

Jackie shrugged his hand away. “Shut up!”

Gerry turned to Dr. Wong. “I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s the shock.”

“Leukemia is not necessarily the life sentence it once was.” Dr. Wong put his glasses back on. “There is hope through a bone marrow transplant.”

Gerry nodded. “But we have to find a donor who matches up with Ashley.”

“Yes. Ashley will quite possibly live a long and healthy life—if a match is found,” Dr. Wong replied.

“And if not?” Gerry asked.

“She has a year. Maybe.”

Jackie’s eyes filled with tears. “But she’s only ten years old,” she gasped. “She’s a baby.”

“Cancer is no respecter of age.” Dr. Wong handed Jackie a tissue. “Ask your family to do the test.” He blinked. “I hope you have a big family.”

“All we need is one person,” Gerry replied.

Jackie dabbed her eyes then looked up at her husband. “How are we going to break the news to Ashley?”

Mary was relieved when Sean agreed to meet her at the Kahala Hilton Hotel lobby instead of his office. She didn’t give him a reason and he didn’t ask. When she walked into the grand lobby with its unique multi-colored glass chandeliers tinkling in the breeze, he was already waiting for her. With her heart pounding, she extended her hand. “Hello, Sean.”

Sean grasped it and waited for her to sit in an armchair before settling in one to the side of her. Despite the lines around his eyes and mouth and wavy gray hair, he was still handsome with an eternally boyish smile.

“Nice to see you again, Mary. How’s your family?”

“Not good.” Mary shook her head. “My granddaughter Ashley has cancer and needs a bone marrow transplant. The entire family has been tested but so far, no match.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Sean said. “Have you exhausted the list?”

“Yes.” Mary took a deep breath, then exhaled. “But there is one other option. Jackie’s biological father.”

“Have you tried to locate him?”

Mary swallowed. “I’m looking at him.”

Sean stared at her. “Excuse me…”

“You gave me some books and bought a music box from me before you went off to war.” Mary’s voice quivered.

“I remember that night, Mary, but …”

“You're Jackie’s father.”

Sean fell back in his chair. Mary watched his face as he tried to come to grips with what she told him. Before either of them could say anything else, a young woman walked over. “Coffee?” she asked.

Mary noticed the tray she carried in her hands. “Yes,” she said.

When the coffee had been poured and the server had walked away, Mary continued. “My granddaughter’s life is at stake.” Her hand shook as she tore open a packet of sugar for her coffee. “Because of this, there can be no more secrets.”

Sean put his hand to his brow. “I’m sorry. I need a moment.” He picked up a spoon and absently stirred his black coffee. “All this time, I never put it together. You, the music box, a
hapa
haole
daughter…”

“A moment of weakness for both of us.” Mary sipped her coffee while staring out at the sapphire ocean lapping against the golden sand beyond them. From where she sat she could see dolphins leaping gracefully from the pool below her. The Kahala was her favorite hotel in Honolulu. She used to bring Ashley here when she was younger to have lunch and watch the dolphin show. What an incredible child. Bright and beautiful with a good heart.

“You never once said a word.” Sean’s hesitant voice brought Mary back. “Your life must have been very difficult.”

“I never wanted to involve anyone else. I accepted the consequences. Why disrupt someone else’s life?” Mary bit her lip and looked down at the cup in her hands.

“Does Jackie know about me?”

“I wanted to tell you first.” Mary gazed at Sean and thought how strange it was she hadn’t noticed until this moment both Jackie and Ashley had Sean’s eyes and eyebrows. Except their eyes were dark. Still, the shape was the same.

“You want me to be tested.” Sean took the spoon out of his cup and rested it on the saucer. “And if I’m not a match?”

“Please, Sean. I have no choice now but to tell the truth and ask you to do the same. Otherwise, Ashley may die.”

“You’re right, we can’t let that happen. I’ll have to tell my sons.”

“Of course.” She exhaled so forcefully tiny ripples danced across her coffee. “Thank you, Sean. I'm relieved …” Mary couldn’t finish her sentence. Let him think she was relieved he’d taken the news so well. Truth was, she’d been afraid he’d ask if she were sure he was Jackie’s father. That would have made her feel like a whore. “I know this must be difficult for you.”

Sean smiled. “She’s my granddaughter. The only one I have.”

 “Sean Duffy is my father?” Jackie put her hand on her chest. “Has he always known?”

“No. I just came from seeing him.” Mary hesitated. “He’s going to be tested.”

Jackie sat on the chenille-covered sofa in her living room. “This is all so overwhelming. I can’t believe you kept this a secret all these years.” Jackie frowned. “Why didn’t you ask him for help before? We were so poor.”

Mary shook her head. “He went off to war and I figured it was my problem.”

“Why is it always the woman’s problem?” Jackie began picking at imaginary lint on slacks.

“You’re asking questions I can’t answer.”

“Is he going to tell the rest of his family?”

Mary looked down. “His sons. Yes.”

“I wonder if he’s ashamed of his
hapa
haole
daughter,” Jackie touched her chin with her finger and stroked it.

 “Don’t be bitter. If anything, it’s my fault. I don’t know what I was thinking back then. Maybe I was selfish. I didn’t want any interference where you were concerned.” Mary reached out and squeezed Jackie’s hand. “Let it go. The important thing now is Ashley.”

Jackie hugged her mother. “I’m sorry, Mom. I’ve been horrible lately. But the good news is I’ve gotten sober. It’s good for me to think of someone other than myself. I even started going to church to pray.”

“When I was younger I wanted to go to church because it made me feel more American. Now, I go for a different reason.”

Susan sat across the lunch table from her mother. For the first time she noticed new lines at the corners of her mother's mouth and the almost imperceptible droop to her eyelids. She wondered if it were due to age, the stress of Ashley's illness, or the never-ending problems in her parents' marriage. Susan vowed to never find herself trapped in an abusive marriage like her mother's. Now her mother had dropped a bomb. Sean Duffy was Jackie's father. “Were you in love with him?” she asked.

“I don’t know how to tell you this without disappointing you” Mary kept her eyes on Susan. “But it just happened. We were two people who needed someone for that one moment in time. We came together to fulfill something deep within. There was never any talk of love.”

“Do you regret it?”

Mary shook her head. “I didn’t regret having Jackie.”

“Strange how the Duffys have figured in our lives,” Susan said.

“Are you thinking of his son, Steve? The artist?”

“You and Sean Duffy. Me and Steve.” Susan’s mind wandered to the night in the cabin when they became one for a brief moment. Was it just need that drove them together? Or something more.

“I thought you and Steve were just friends.” Mary put her hand on Susan’s arm. “Do you love him?”

 “Why do you ask?”

“Because of the look on your face.”

“Like you, it was just one time. Whatever it was, whatever we might have felt, I guess it wasn’t meant to be.”

“I just got the news.” Sean ran his fingers through his hair as he stood by his office window looking at the courtyard below. “I’m not a match for Ashley.” He turned and looked at Susan.

Susan breathed out a sad sigh.

“I need you to do something for me,” he continued. “Would you fly to Maui and tell Steve?”

“I don’t know. I think it’s something you should tell him. Not me.”

Sean rubbed the knuckles of one hand with the other. “You’re right. But I’m afraid he’ll cut me off. It went badly with Patrick and Katherine.”

“Steve isn’t like them.”

Sean nodded. Patrick’s face had brimmed with utter contempt when he’d been asked to be tested. “I have no intention of going through a bone marrow transplant for a stranger,” he snapped.

Katherine’s response was, “So, how many other bastard children do you have, Sean?”

Sean winced at the memory. He didn’t relish being shot down again. “He’ll probably take it better coming from you.”

“Okay.” Susan nodded. “After all, Ashley is my niece. Isn’t this what are families are for?”

Susan was surprised to see a sprawling, gracious home with a long, circular driveway and Range Rover in the garage. Things really changed for Steve.

To her dismay, her heart beat wildly.
Oh Steve, why didn’t you love me enough? Why did you finish your hippie stage but never thought to call me?

On her last birthday she’d turned twenty-nine. Even with all she’d managed to accomplish, at times she felt an aching loneliness that tore her apart. In a sea of people, she had no one to talk to, no one to share her highs and lows.

Not that there hadn’t been men. But that’s all they were. Men she pretended to love to make having sex more acceptable. After it was over she was faced with the truth. Love had been a lie she needed to tell herself. Susan didn't want the lie; she wanted a kindred spirit who loved and understood her.

Twice she slept with someone just to fill the void. A combination of too much wine, loneliness, and not enough self-respect. After sex was over, she rested in their arms and tried to enjoy the superficial comfort. Then the lights came on or the sun came out and she was reminded of the tawdriness of her situation. She felt empty and cheap. During those times, she almost hated herself. She often felt like half a person without a mate. And she really was beginning to feel like a loser and an old maid. How pathetic.

Then there was Steve. Their lives had touched for just a moment. Steve was the unfulfilled dream, possibly her soul mate, and once her dearest friend. Now standing outside the door of his gracious, Hawaiian-style home, she felt betrayed. She had thought their lifestyle was the only thing that stood between the two of them. But the way Steve was living made a mockery of that. He never even tried to call to see if they could get back together again.

She rang the doorbell.

An attractive blonde woman in her thirties answered the door.

Susan was momentarily thrown off base again. “Is Steve home?”

The woman stared at her in the oddest way. “Sure. I’ll go get him. Want to come in?”

Susan stepped into a glassed-in living room with soaring ceilings and
Ohia
wood floors. A massive lava rock fireplace dominated the room. Above it was an enormous canvas so beautiful, Susan caught her breath. She could almost hear Waimea Falls thundering in the midst of verdant foliage and feel the mist cooling her warm cheeks. Mesmerized, Susan walked around the room, enthralled by the magnificent canvasses on display.

“Your encouragement got me started,” Steve’s soft voice said behind her.

She whirled around. Wearing white duck pants and a polo shirt, and looking casually elegant, Steve was a totally different person. Except for his eyes burning a hole in her heart.

“Hello Susan,” he said.