Authors: Donna Every
Several hours later
Daniel tried to
remember the vow he had made in the radiation room, as he leaned over the
toilet in his bathroom at Margaret’s house and heaved the contents of his
stomach up. The violent movements made pain explode in his head and drained him
of what little energy he had. He washed his mouth and staggered back to his
bed, leaning heavily on the walker that he had bought to help him about in
these early days.
“Daniel, are
you alright?” asked Margaret knocking softly on the door. When he didn’t
answer she pushed open the door and repeated the question louder. She
kept forgetting that he only had hearing in one ear now and he was still
adjusting to that.
“No, I’m not
alright. I feel sick and weak and I don’t know how the hell I’m going to
get through these next few weeks.”
“The hospital
gave me some medicine to help with the nausea. I’ll get it for you now.
Would you like some broth?”
Daniel groaned
at the thought of food. He had little appetite and his mouth tasted
metallic anyway.
“That’s the
last thing I want Margaret. I’ll just rest a bit.” He hoped she would
leave. He appreciated all that Margaret was doing for him but, right now, he
just wanted to be left alone.
Two weeks later
Daniel ran a
comb gently through his hair as he prepared for yet another session of
therapy. He stared in horror at the comb which was full of hair and the vanity
which was littered with even more strands. He closed his eyes in despair. As if
the tiredness and nausea weren’t bad enough, his hair was now falling out. He’d
read about it but still wasn’t prepared for the reality of it. He’d have to ask
Bob or Margaret to shave the rest off since he was definitely not going to the
salon that he frequented for that. He cleaned up the hair and went to find
Margaret.
“
Marg
, my hair is falling out. I’m going need you or
Bob to cut the rest of it short for me. I’m sorry to be such a burden on you
two. God, I’m so sick of being sick! Death is beginning to look a whole lot
better than this.”
“Daniel
Tennant, don’t let me hear you talking like that. You’re not a burden. You have
a lot to be thankful for and this won’t last forever. You’ll get through it.
You have a lot of people who are praying for you and who care for you. Angela
called again. She wants to see you and so do the folks from the office. I
can’t keep putting everyone off.”
“I really don’t
feel like seeing anyone right now, Margaret, especially now that my hair is
falling out. I look sick. Tell Angela I’ll call her when I’m feeling better and
let the folks know that I appreciate their cards and good wishes. I don’t know
Marg
, I just don’t have the energy or inclination to see
anyone and answer questions about how I feel. I just feel empty. My hair
falling out is just the last straw. I can’t imagine it can get any worse than
this.”
“Maybe you
should see a therapist,” suggested Margaret.
“Margaret if I
have to see anyone else in the medical profession, that would definitely make
me lose it. Don’t worry about me. As you said, I’ll get through this. I’ve got
through a lot of things in my life. Granted this is the worst, but I’ve
had a lot of preparation.”
Later that evening
“Daniel,” said
Margaret knocking softly at his bedroom door. Daniel was lying in bed in the
dark. He’d come back from therapy several hours ago and had just crawled into
bed after another bout of vomiting.
“What is it
Margaret?” His voice was weak and he sounded so low that she hated to add to
his depression with the news she just got.
“I’m afraid I
have some bad news for you, Daniel,” she said softly. “Your father’s wife just
called. I’m afraid that he lost the battle with the cancer today, Daniel.
I’m so sorry.”
Daniel froze.
Not now! He already felt sick and weak and now this! His father was dead. He
remembered how sick he had looked the day he came to see him in his office when
he asked for his forgiveness and he hadn’t given it. Now he was gone and he
would never see him again, never have the chance to say that he forgave him.
Regret jack-hammered a path through his heart leaving in its wake a gaping
chasm that he felt nothing could ever fill. He remembered telling Margaret
caustically that he hoped he lived to regret it. Well he had and he never
imagined that it would hurt so
bad
.
Finally he said
weakly: “I can’t take anything else Marg. I feel like I’m drowning. I
said earlier that things couldn’t get any worse, but I was wrong.”
One month later
The orderly
pushed Daniel’s chair through doors that were labeled
Physiotherapy
Department
. He’d insisted that Margaret leave him at the hospital and
come back later. This was to be first therapy session and he wasn’t looking
forward to it. Having gone through six weeks of radiotherapy he’d had
enough of hospitals, doctors and therapists. He just wanted to get well! At
least his last MRI had showed no sign of the remaining tumor but his head still
hurt sometimes and he still hadn’t fully regained his balance or strength. He’d
also lost weight and his hair had not grown back as yet, so he was wearing a
cap which made him feel unlike himself. He had never imagined getting
back to normal would take this long or be this hard. His father’s death had set
him back more than he cared to admit but he was determined to put all that
behind him and get on with life.
Daniel looked
around the large room and saw patients on all kinds of equipment. Some
were exercising their arms and legs using weight machines, some were struggling
to walk using parallel bars to hold them up and the more advanced ones were on
treadmills. He felt conspicuous and self conscious. He was used to
people staring at him but, in the past, that had usually been in admiration,
which he acknowledged without conceit. Now he felt that they were wondering why
he had this stupid cap on his head and why he looked so sick. He just wanted to
get out of here as fast as possible.
“Miss Taylor,”
said the orderly. A woman in a long white coat and black jeans turned
around. Daniel’s eyes drank her in like a man deprived of water for a
long time. This was the first spark of life he felt since his surgery. Her
skin, the color of café-au-
lait
was flawless, her
hazel eyes were beautiful and even with her long, light brown hair pulled back
in a simple pony tail and very little make up on, she was gorgeous. She
reminded him of Vanessa Williams when she became the first Black Miss America
in the ‘80’s. He felt a stirring in his body for the first time in weeks and
almost smiled in relief to know that some things were still working.
“This is Daniel
Tennant,” continued the orderly.
“Thanks Pete,”
she said with a smile, walking over to them.
“Hi, I’m
Kathryn Taylor,” she introduced herself, extending her hand, “but most people
call me KT. I’ll be your physiotherapist.” She didn’t even seem to notice the
cap, but then again he supposed she was used to things like that in her line of
work.
Her handshake
was surprisingly firm considering how soft her hand felt in Daniel’s. He wanted
to keep holding it. He quickly checked her left hand for a ring and was happy
to see none.
Kathryn Tennant
sounds even better and you wouldn’t even have to change your initials, thought
Daniel. Where did that come from? He closed his eyes and tried to clear
his head. The drugs must be affecting my thinking!’
“Hi, KT,” he
said sounding surprisingly normal in spite of the thoughts going around in his
head. “Isn’t it too soon to be starting therapy? My head still hurts like the
very devil and I feel dizzy and weak.”
“I’m afraid
you’re going to feel like that for a little while, Mr. Tennant, so the sooner
we get started the better.”
“Please call me
Daniel,” he interjected.
“Daniel then.
We’ll take it easy today. I’ll just let
you do a few exercises to assess your strength and find out which areas need
the most work. You’ll probably feel tired very quickly but that’s
normal. Don’t try to overdo it; we’ve got about two months to get you
back to your old self.”
Daniel suddenly
didn’t mind if it took him two years to get back to his old self if it meant
seeing her every week. He began to wonder if they took out something else
from his brain apart from the tumor. What was he thinking? He didn’t
normally see the same woman for two months, far less two years!
Half an hour
later Daniel felt that he never wanted to see Miss Kathryn Taylor again in his
life! His head throbbed, his arms and legs felt weak and wobbly and sweat
poured off his body.
“I wouldn’t
mind feeling this sweaty and weak if it was after a couple of hours of passion,
but this is ridiculous!” Daniel joked trying to cover up how worried he was.
Would he ever feel well again?
KT didn’t crack
a smile at his attempted humor. Instead she said: “Please keep your
offensive comments to yourself, Mr. Tennant and let’s focus on getting you on
your feet.”
Daniel frowned
feeling somewhat chastened.
Offensive comments?
This was 2008 for heaven’s sake not the Victorian era! Was she for
real?
“My apologies,”
he said. “I didn’t mean to offend you. That’s just my way of trying to
deal with how weak I feel. I’m wondering if I’ll ever get back to
normal.”
Her face
immediately softened in understanding and she squeezed his shoulder in
sympathy. Her touch was strangely comforting to Daniel. In spite of his obvious
weight loss, his shoulder felt strong and very masculine to her.
“Don’t worry,
you’ll be fine. Recovery from brain surgery takes time so you need to be
patient with yourself. Anyway, that’s enough for today. I’ll get one
of the orderlies to take you back downstairs.”
She offered him
her shoulder to lean on to get back into his wheelchair.
“I don’t want
to make you sweaty,” he protested. At least not in this way, he added in
his mind. He was smart enough not to say that one out loud.
“That’s okay,
I’m used to it.” But she wasn’t used to the awareness she felt when he leaned
on her. That was strange. She’d had many male patients but she’d never
felt this immediate attraction to any of them. What was so different
about this Daniel Tennant?
She was tall
enough, probably about 5’7”, to make leaning on her easy. He wasn’t used
to leaning on anyone, literally or figuratively, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable
or awkward feeling. On the contrary it felt good.
“See you next
week,” she said with a smile as she pushed his chair towards an orderly.
“Wouldn’t miss
it for the world, KT, even if it is torture,” replied Daniel with a tired
smile. Things were looking up for the first time since his surgery. No pun
intended.
KT took Daniel’s
chart back to her desk to add her notes. She reviewed his information
again and noted that he was 35, ten years older than she was and single. And
far too good looking she thought, even with the cap covering his head and the
dark circles under his eyes. Where did he get off making crude comments
to her? He probably saw nothing wrong with what he said. That may be his
choice of lifestyle but it certainly wasn’t hers. Still, he was very
attractive and she admired his determination as he struggled to get through the
exercises she’d given him, but he was definitely not her type.
“Hi KT,” said
Connie Haskins, one of the other therapists, coming up to her desk. “I
see that you’ve been given the Merger Mogul. I’m devastated!” she
exclaimed dramatically. “I wouldn’t mind helping him get back on his feet. Or
better yet, on his back,” she added with a wicked laugh.” KT ignored that.
“The Merger
Mogul?” she asked looking up.
“You don’t know
who the Merger Mogul is? Don’t you read the tabloids?”
“Uh, no!” replied
KT emphatically.
“Well, your
Daniel Tennant is known as the Merger Mogul in the business world. He
does mergers and acquisitions and has a lot of money and a lot of women.
Apparently he changes women with each season,” she said with relish.
“He’s not my
Daniel Tennant” promised KT. “I could introduce you to him next time but if he
has as many women as you say, then he’s obviously not into serious
relationships.”
“KT not
everyone is into serious relationships. Some people just want a temporary
merger and if the rumors are true, his reputation as a merger specialist goes
beyond his business dealings,” Connie added wickedly.
KT held up her
hand. “TMI!” she protested. “More information than I care to know.”
“Just making
sure you know who you’re dealing with. I wouldn’t want him to charm you into
losing your head and becoming his next merger.”
“There’s no
chance of that happening,” declared KT. “Besides he’s not my type and I’m sure
I’m not his,” she added.
“You’re a
beautiful woman so that makes you his type,” said Connie walking back to her
own desk.
‘I’m definitely
not interested in him,’ KT told herself. So why did she feel a twinge of
disappointment to hear that Daniel was a womanizer? ‘That’s for listening to
gossip,’ she told herself. Daniel Tennant was a patient and her job was
to get him back on his feet, nothing more. And if she was looking forward to
his next therapy session, it was only because she wanted him to get better
quickly and off her roster.
Daniel lay on
Margaret’s couch after a hot shower following his therapy session. He was
waiting for the tablets he’d just taken to take effect and stop the throbbing
in his head.