The Marshal Takes A Bride (31 page)

He watched as she relaxed visibly, and he knew she had thought that he was going to force the issue; but he wasn’t ready. Since Lucas was his son, perhaps he needed to rethink his plans.

“Thanks, Tucker. Thanks for bringing Lucas home safe.” She glanced at her grandfather. “Come on, I want to go home.”

Mr. Kincaid glanced at his granddaughter and then at Tucker. He frowned, nodded and held the door open.

“Bye-bye, Tuck,” Lucas said, and waved at him as his mother carried him through the door.

Tucker felt more confused than he had ever felt before. One small boy had managed to suddenly disrupt his life. One small boy whose mother continually kept his world unsettled. The two of them had left him reeling and unsure of what to do.

The room was quiet for a moment as Tucker tried to gather his scattered thoughts.

“Well, it looks like there are two new Burnett family members,” Travis said. “Desiree and Lucas.”

Tucker shook his head. “I had no idea. There was only one night . . . and I left town that same night.” He sat down in the chair behind his desk. “Oh, God, what do I do now? I need to marry Sarah and give him my name.”

“Do you love Sarah?” Tanner asked.

“What does love feel like?” Tucker asked. “I care about Sarah a lot, but I’m not certain I know what love is.”

“Then, don’t marry her,” Beth said. “Not unless you’re absolutely certain.”

“But he’s my son!”

“But if you don’t love Sarah, then you’ll only make her angry if you ask her to marry you. No woman wants to be married out of necessity or for a child.”

“That’s no help,” Tucker said dejectedly. “What about you, Travis? When did you know that you loved Rose?”

“I was stubborn as they come. I didn’t realize I loved her until after she left me. Then I suddenly noticed how very lonely and dull my life was without her. I couldn’t quit thinking about her after she was gone, and I realized that nothing else mattered but being with Rose.”

Travis walked over to stand close to Tucker. “You need some time to think things through. Give it a few days and then see how you feel. A few days will help your perspective.”

“Okay, guys, but do me a favor. Please don’t tell Mother. I’m not ready to deal with her.”

They all laughed.

“Speaking of, I have a new baby at home and a wife I’d like to see,” Travis said, scratching his head. “Our short trip into town has lasted most of the day.”

“Let’s go,” Tanner said.

They walked to the door of the office. Beth hugged Tucker’s neck. “I know you’ll make the right decision. Just remember, love that makes you happy is the most important thing in life. I hope you find it.”

Travis slapped him on the back. “Take care, little brother. If you need us, you know where we are.” Tucker closed the door behind them, feeling completely drained. The image of Sarah came to mind. She had remained in town for almost two months now and had not told him the truth about his child.

His son. Those two words thrilled him, scared him and angered him all at once.

***

Tucker felt nervous as he knocked on the door to Mr. Kincaid’s suite of rooms. He had waited two days and could no longer wait to speak with Sarah.

He had worried about the boy, afraid that somehow this mishap had scarred or scared him somehow. He had worried about Sarah and wanted to come see her, but felt that they both needed some time to sort out their feelings. But he was still uncertain.

She opened the door, and for a moment they stood there staring at each other. God, she looked beautiful, and for a moment he thought he was crazy if he let her go.

“Hello.”

“May I come in?” he asked.

She nodded. “Sure.”

He walked in the room, feeling awkward and out of place, where before he had always felt at home when he visited her.

“Tuck!” Lucas cried, and ran to his arms.

“Hi, boy,” he said gruffly. God, this was hard. He looked at the boy closely, trying to see any resemblance of himself in the child.

“Papaw take me fishing. You go, too?”

Tucker smiled. “I wish I could but your momma and I have some things we need to talk about.”

He released the boy, just as Mr. Kincaid walked into the room.

“Hello, Tucker. I guess you’re here to talk with Sarah. I hope you two come to your senses and work things out.” He shook his head at Tucker and Sarah, and then took Lucas by the hand. “Come on, boy, let’s go. The fish are awaiting.”

“Bye, Momma.”

“Bye, sweetheart.” She leaned down and kissed the boy on his cheek. “Catch a big one.”

They walked out the door, closing it behind them, leaving a tense silence. Tucker felt awkward standing there. Never before had he been aware of this discomfort between them. This sense of ‘How do we look at each other now?’

“Sorry about my grandfather. He’s a little upset with both me and you.”

“I guess that’s understandable.”

“Let’s sit down. There’s no reason we can’t be civil about this,” Sarah said.

Tucker didn’t know how she expected him to react, but if what she had said was true, if Lucas was really his son, then he was damn angry. The more he had thought about how she had kept Lucas’s parentage a secret, the angrier he had become. She had withheld the knowledge from him for the last three years and would have continued to keep this information from him if Lansky hadn’t kidnapped the boy.

He set his hat down on a table beside him and ran his hand through his hair. This was hard, damn hard. But he wanted some answers, and he wanted the truth.

“I just want to make sure I heard you correctly the other day. Is Lucas really my son?”

Sarah bristled. “Yes, he’s your son. Why wouldn’t the boy be yours?”

“You were married, Sarah. Why wouldn’t I doubt the boy was mine? I was led to believe he was your husband’s son, never even considering for a moment that he was mine,” he replied, angered that she had reacted so to his questioning her.

“The marriage was a ruse. I married Walter Scott James right before he died. He knew I was pregnant and unmarried. He helped me out. Otherwise your son would have been a bastard.”

Tucker stood up and began to pace. “Why in the hell didn’t you just get in touch with me? Let me know you were expecting my baby? Didn’t you think I would want to know?”

Sarah stood and followed Tucker on the other side of the room. “You didn’t want to know. You left me in the middle of the night. You didn’t even have the courtesy to say good-bye, and then you wonder why I didn’t contact you when I discovered myself pregnant?”

She took a deep breath. “How would I have found you? You were wandering the countryside. You didn’t want to be tied down. You were a gunslinger who had almost died once. And you thought I would contact you and say ‘Let’s get married, we’re having a baby!’ ”

“Don’t you think as the father, I should have at least been given the chance to decide how much I wanted to be involved with my child? Don’t you think I should have at least been told I had a son?” He stared at her. Sarah glared back, eyes flashing with anger.

“When were you going to tell me? You’ve been in town now for almost two months. What were you waiting for?”

“Why would I tell you that Lucas is your son, when all you’ve talked about since I’ve returned is how you can’t wait to leave town, how you didn’t want to be tied down?” She poked her finger in his chest. “And now you’re leaving town, just like you wanted. When were you going to tell me?” Her gaze challenged him.

“You still aren’t ready to be a father. You’re still the same irresponsible man who doesn’t want to settle down, who left me pregnant in Tombstone.”

“That’s not fair!” he said. “I have changed. And if I had had all the information, I would have been willing to consider settling down. I could do it if I wanted to. We could get married.”

“Why?” Sarah asked, her voice strained. “Why do you want to marry me, Tucker?”

“Well . . .” Too late Beth’s warning came to mind, and he knew he was in trouble; but he had to offer to marry her. “If we were married, I could be an active part of Lucas’s life. I could be a father to him. And we are good together, Sarah.”

For a moment she said absolutely nothing. Then her face suffused with a red flush. “Damn you, Tucker. You would marry me just to be near your son? Not because you love me and you think we could be happy. Damn you, because in a few years you’d begin to hate me and wish you were a wandering man again. I want you to take the job, leave town and have a great life. I don’t need you. Lucas doesn’t need you. Don’t come around me again.”

“Sarah ... I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. We’re friends.”

“And don’t call me your friend. We’ve been more than friends for a long time, but you’ve been too damn blind to see. Well, let me open your eyes for you. We’re no longer friends.”

***

All the way back to the county jail, Tucker stewed over the events of the past hour. He had gone over to Sarah’s to make things right, and somehow they were worse now than ever before. He had been willing to marry her. He had been willing to stay here and make them a family, but just as Beth had warned, Sarah wanted no part of his offer.

Women could be so stubborn. What was this feeling called love that was so important to them? He had been willing to give up his dream of being a federal marshal, all for Sarah and Lucas, but she wanted no part of his offer. She had thrown him out of her grandfather’s suite and out of her life.

And the part about being more than friends. True, most friends didn’t share a bed together. But their friendship had always been special, hadn’t it?

Tucker started to empty the drawers of his desk. She had told him to get out of town, to take the job. Well, he was going to. He didn’t need any more prodding from her or anyone else. He had made up his mind.

Thinking of Sarah, he packed his personal belongings in his saddlebags, thrusting them into the leather bags. Damn her! He had offered her marriage. He had wanted to be with her and Lucas, but he had been unable to say those three little words.

Why couldn’t she just accept the fact that he wanted to do the right thing?

He turned in his badge and told the mayor that he had taken a new job. He walked out of the office that had been his for the last two years.

He would go by the ranch to say good-bye to his family, and then he would be on his way, to a new job, seeing new country, fulfilling his dreams. But somehow his heart felt heavy when he should feel glad. But Sarah had ended their friendship, and the thought of never seeing her again left him feeling emptier than he had ever imagined.

***

A week later Sarah looked up from her desk in time to see Brad strolling into the doctor’s clinic. She was finishing the last notes on patients, busy packing her gear and getting prepared to turn the clinic back over to the doctor, who would be returning on Monday.

“Hello,” she said, glancing up at him. “How’s your hand?”

He smiled. “It’s better. How are you?”

“I’m good.”

“I heard about Lucas being kidnapped. I’m sorry, you must have been so frightened.”

“I was, but he’s okay. Scared him, but he’s a tough little boy.” She paused. “You know, Brad, I’ve wanted to talk with you, but just haven’t contacted you.”

“I also must confess I’ve been avoiding you.” Sarah glanced at him, shocked. “Why?”

“Because I think you’re in love with someone else.” The muscles in her chest seemed to tighten and ache. She sighed and knew that it was true, but instead of being joyous, she felt only heartache. “Is it that noticeable?”

He smiled. “No. But you’re always aware of Tucker, and you watch him whenever he’s around. I guess I would be the luckiest man alive if you felt that way toward me; but I know you don’t, and I’m smart enough to know when to back off.”

Sarah sighed. “I’m sorry, Brad. I wish it were you that I felt this way about, but I do love Tucker, though God knows why. You heard he’s left town?” She was resigned to the fact that they would never be together. After she had thrown him out of her grandfather’s suite of rooms, she had known that he would pack his bags and run from his feelings. It was what he always did, and this time she didn’t expect him to return.

“Yes. I know.”

“The doctor is coming back to work on Monday, and Lucas and I, we’ll be returning to Tombstone. It’s time.”

“I’m sorry, Sarah. I wish you could stay.”

She nodded. “I’m sorry, too. But I can’t remain here and wish that Tucker loved me enough for us to be together. I can’t face this town every day with the knowledge that he didn’t love me enough to stay.”

Brad stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “Don’t give up on Tucker just yet. He still may come around.”

Sarah shook her head. Why should she continue to wait with false hopes on a man who could never be committed to her and their son? “No, I’ve given up. We’re going back to Tombstone, and I’m going to put Tucker out of my mind. I’ve loved him for over three years, and before that I had a crush on him. It’s time to move on.”

“I’m sorry, Sarah. I wish you the best of luck, and if it makes you feel any better, I think Tucker must be blind not to see what he’s giving up.”

“Thanks, Brad. Maybe he’s not half as blind as I am for still loving the man, even after everything he’s done. But for some reason, he can’t say those three little words that I insist on hearing.”

Chapter
Eighteen

A month later, Tucker sat huddled under his slicker on a mountaintop in the Oklahoma Territory. It had been drizzling rain for the last week. He was wet and miserable, and for the last three weeks all he had done was follow this band of outlaws from one place to another with strict instructions not to interfere, but rather to keep track of their activities.

He was living his dream, and he was miserable. He missed Sarah.

There had been no time to explore new areas, meet new people or see much besides the top of this mountain. For three weeks, he had watched these men, making notes of who came and went from the outlaws’ den. He hadn’t expected the job to be all excitement; but this was downright dull, and he hated what he was doing.