The Mandala Maneuver (12 page)

“Must be in back,” she told Lirzhan.

He nodded, even as he rose from his seat and brought his own used plate and glass over to the sanitizer. “Do you want me to help you look?”

“No, that’s all right.” They’d have to figure out the sleeping arrangements sooner or later, but for right now she thought it would help if she could poke around in the other rooms first and get the lay of the land before she had to cross that particular hurdle.

No reply, although he did step out of the way so she could pass him and go on down the short corridor on the other side of the room. As she’d thought, there was a small, extremely utilitarian bathroom with a toilet, sink, and cramped shower enclosure. Luxury bathing was definitely not in the offing here, but a shower of any sort would be heavenly, cramped or no.

She supposed it would have been too much to expect for there to be two bedrooms here. No, she found only the one, small and spare and with two sets of bunk beds, each of them on opposite sides of the room, with a closet on the empty wall facing the door. The beds had all been neatly made up, gray blankets smoothed flat, pillows in place. It seemed the last team to be stationed here had strictly followed protocol; this wasn’t always the case, as she’d read that some teams left the stations in some disarray as they moved on to their next assignment.

Glad that the place looked more or less serviceable, despite there being only one bedroom, she went immediately to the closet and opened the sliding metal door. Inside were five or six empty hangers and — wonder of wonders — two pairs of black coveralls hanging at the very back. Coveralls might not be the height of fashion, but at least they were clean, and one of them appeared to be smaller than the other, clearly intended for a woman.

On the shelf above the clothes rack were spare blankets and pillows. Alexa went up on her tiptoes and felt between the blankets. Sure enough, her fingers closed around a square metal object, and she pulled it out in some triumph.

It was a small gray cube with a data port on one side, intended to be hooked up to an external device such as a tablet or computer. Clutching it in one hand, she took it out to the front room and set it down on the table.

“Ah, so that is the device,” Lirzhan said, looking at it with some curiosity but not picking it up. “I can see why it would be easy to conceal. So what now?”

“We hook it up to this,” she replied, and pulled her tablet out of the emergency kit. A push on the side, and a thin cord with a data connector extended from the interior. She attached it to the beacon. Immediately her tablet lit up, showing an unfamiliar screen, one that the beacon itself must be generating.

Every member of the Consortium’s government, whether in the military, the Exploration Commission, or the Diplomatic Corps, had been taught the code to send out a general SOS. Alexa knew she wouldn’t have to provide their coordinates, since the beacon would automatically embed those in the outgoing message. But as she settled her fingertips on the screen to begin typing in the first sequence of letters, Lirzhan’s voice stopped her.

“Perhaps we should consider where we are sending that before we go any further.”

Puzzled, she shot a wary glance up at him, although she did stop typing. “What do you mean?”

His expression was almost studiously neutral. “I mean that we do not know who it was that shot down our shuttle, or who attempted to pursue and neutralize us here. By no means am I saying it was anyone from the Consortium…but I know for a fact that it could not have been any of my own people.”

“Oh, really?” she inquired in acid tones. “And how can you be so very sure?”

“Because my people do not murder, Alexa. I will allow that perhaps —
perhaps
— the shuttle being pulled from subspace was some sort of mistake. But being fired upon immediately afterward was certainly no accident, and neither was being shot at by whoever was piloting that skimmer. These are not the actions of my people.”

She wanted to retort that they weren’t the actions of her people, either, but she knew that would be a bald-faced lie. Humans had been murdering one another for millennia before they emerged into the wider galaxy and began killing members of other races as well.

“So what do you want me to do?” she asked. “This thing is hard-coded to send its messages to the GEC HQ on Gaia. I don’t know how to reprogram it. Do you?”

This last question was flung at him as a challenge. She halfway expected him to say that yes, of course he could, just as he’d been able to handle every single obstacle they’d faced so far without even batting an eye.

But he shook his head, saying, “No, I don’t have that sort of training. But please, let us consider this for a while. The last thing we want is to draw unwanted attention.”

She couldn’t argue with that, much as she would have liked to. Yes, getting off Mandala was a priority…but so was staying alive. “All right,” she said, after a long pause. “Let’s sleep on it. First, though, I’m getting that shower.”

And she got up and went past him, heading back into the bedroom so she could check the one small chest of drawers to see if it contained anything of use. Glory of glories, there were two undershirts, and a package of unopened underwear. Yes, it was men’s underwear, but she wasn’t going to quibble at this point. At least it was clean.

After that it was just hot water and soap and the miracle of scrubbing away the last of Mandala’s dirt and grime, feeling some of her worry and exhaustion rinse away with the soap and shampoo. They weren’t out of the woods yet, but it was a lot easier to be hopeful when you weren’t caked with several days’ worth of grime and sweat.

She got out of the shower and dried herself off with a folded towel from the shelf above the toilet. The undershirt and briefs were next, and she almost had to laugh at the sight of herself in the oversized clothing. To keep the briefs from slipping down too far, she rolled the waistband several times. There was a clothing sanitizer mounted on the wall on the other side of the shower stall, and she shoved her own much-abused underwear and skirt and jacket into it. No, it wouldn’t be quite the same as having them properly cleaned, but at least she’d be able to wear them again without feeling disgusted at the prospect.

As she exited the bathroom, she almost bumped into Lirzhan, who apparently was heading back from the bedroom. No doubt he’d been inspecting the sleeping arrangements.

Although he kept his gaze steady on her face, she couldn’t help blushing a little at the amount of leg she was currently showing. All right, she’d flashed her entire bare back at him when she was getting out of her wet camisole and into her jacket after their dip in the lake, but that wasn’t really the same thing.

“It’s all yours,” she said steadily, refusing to show any more of her discomfiture than she already had.

His eyes widened slightly. “I beg your pardon?”

She jerked her chin in the direction of the bathroom. “The shower? And there was some clean underwear in the bedroom. I took one pair, but — ”

In response he lifted his left hand, showing a wad of gray fabric. “I did locate those, and the other shirts, which I assume are some sort of undergarment.” At last his gaze did stray from her face somewhat lower, but since the neckband of the undershirt came up past her collarbone, it wasn’t as if she was showing much there.

“Okay, good,” she said hastily. Those green eyes seemed a little too clear, too searching. “Well, enjoy your shower. The hot water was still going strong, so it should be good to go.”

No one could have accused him of being imperceptive, and he took the dismissal for what it was, inclining his head and moving past her into the bathroom. Alexa hurried down into the bedroom, noted that he’d draped his robes across the foot of one of the bottom bunk beds, and took the other one, sinking down onto the hard mattress with a sigh of relief. At the moment it felt just as good as the most advanced body-conforming heat-activated foam bed ever invented.

She pulled back the covers and slid between them, then pulled the blankets up to her chin. The pillow was memory foam and comfortable enough, so she wasn’t too worried about the mattress. It was still worlds better than the floor of a cave.

Although she hadn’t expected to fall asleep so quickly, had thought she’d be able to stay awake until Lirzhan returned, weariness won out. Almost as soon as her eyes shut, she was gone, slipping away into the dark, leaving her worries for the following day.

H
er quiet
, regular breathing told him she was sleep. Moving quietly, he went to the switch and turned down the lights until they were just barely there, just enough that he could see if he needed to get up in the middle of the night and move about the room.

He could not fault Alexa for falling asleep so quickly. They had walked a great many kilometers today, and that, coupled with the first full meal she’d had in days, was certainly more than enough to send her deeply into slumber. Even so, he wished they could have spoken more, made some plan for the next morning. It was good that she’d agreed to delay activating the beacon until they could do it in a safe manner, but they would have to do something soon.

And there had been that flash of red in her cheeks as she realized he was looking at her, even though he’d tried not to stare. No woman of his people would have ever shown so much of her legs, of course, and he supposed the sight had startled him somewhat. He knew on some worlds the women wore even less than what she currently had on, but he had never visited any of those planets.

Her legs were very lovely.

A heat that had nothing to do with the hot shower he’d just taken moved over him, and he sucked in a deep breath, pushing his thoughts away from the sight of her legs…the memory of the smooth, pale skin of her back as she’d hurriedly slipped out of her wet clothes and into her jacket.

This would never do.

He lay down then and pulled the meager covers over him, making himself breathe steadily, letting his thoughts grow calm. Yes, Alexa Craig was very distracting, but she was not the only one who needed a good night’s sleep. They had reached a haven here, it seemed, and he should make use of it.

His breathing deepened, and he began the slow slide into darkness that prefaced the true sleep, the place where dreams lived. Just as he began to approach oblivion, he heard odd little muffled whimpers coming from the bunk where Alexa lay, and at once Lirzhan’s eyes snapped open again.

She was huddled into a ball, the covers pulled up almost to her chin. Even in the dimly lit room he could see the way her eyelids were twitching, how her body made terrified little jerks, as if she were fighting off some unseen assailant.

For a second or two he hesitated, wondering if he should let it alone. Perhaps the nightmare would pass soon. But the distress was rolling off her in waves, and he had to hope that she’d rather be woken up than left to suffer whatever visions were currently roiling her subconscious mind.

Moving quietly, he slipped out from under the covers and crossed the room to her bedside, then knelt on the floor next to her. With a gentle hand he reached out and touched her shoulder. “Alexa.”

She shuddered but did not wake. He made both his grip and his tone a little firmer. “
Alexa
.”

This time her eyes shot open, and she reached out and smacked his hand away. “What?”

“You were having a bad dream.”

She blinked, and the wide, staring look she’d had when she awakened disappeared. One hand went to her head. “Yes, I was. Sorry. Did I wake you?”

“I hadn’t really fallen asleep yet,” he replied, keeping his voice low, reassuring. “Are you all right?”

“Of course I am,” she told him, her tone just a little too hearty. “It was just a dream. Strange bed, I guess.”

He could have pointed out that she had suffered no such bad dreams the past few nights when they had slept leaning against a cave wall. Or mentioned that she’d slept well enough when she was snuggled up next to him. Either remark probably would not meet with a positive reception, however, and so he nodded and simply said, “Perhaps.”

The logical thing to do next would be to get back on his feet and return to his own bed — and hope he would not be awakened in such a manner a second time. For some reason he seemed unable to move, though, and continued to kneel there and watch her, and note how some of her damp hair had pulled itself out of the braid she’d used to contain it, or the way her deep blue eyes appeared so very dark in the subdued overhead lighting.

“What?” she asked, her tone somehow curious rather than irritated, which was the reaction he had expected, what with him remaining there like a fool instead of going sensibly back to sleep.

He knew then that if he did not take the first step, she would never allow the fragile connection between them to develop any further. From time to time he’d seen it in her eyes, seen the interest, the attraction, but she would not acknowledge it for some reason, wanted to pretend it did not exist. And perhaps he would suffer the consequences, would anger her so greatly that she would not permit any further contact between the two of them. Then again, how much risk was there, when he knew if he let it alone, matters would remain at an impasse?

So he leaned in, and pressed his mouth against hers.

T
his couldn’t be happening
. This couldn’t be Lirzhan — proper, reserved,
alien
Lirzhan — kissing her.

But it was.
He
was.

And…oh, God. Nothing had ever prepared her for the wave of heat that washed over her the second his lips touched hers, the sudden sense that no one else’s lips could match hers like this, that no one else’s mouth and tongue could taste so sweet. She reached out and pulled him toward her, felt his long, slick hair brush over her bare arms, sensed the strength of the body pressed against hers.

She wanted more then, wanted all of him, as insane as that sounded. It wasn’t even that she could call herself deprived — after all, Trin had given her a pretty decent send-off, and that hadn’t even been a full standard week ago. But this wave of need, of lust, was as alien to her as the Zhore himself was.

With a gasp she pulled herself away and stared into his face. His green eyes met hers without pretense, without looking away. She saw in them the same desire that pulsed within her, like a planet with a fiery molten core buried beneath a layer of ice.

“I didn’t — ” she began, then broke off, shaking her head. “I don’t — what the hell was
that?
”

“
Sayara
,” he said simply.

She’d never heard the word before and assumed it had to be a Zhore term. “What is
sayara
?”
Besides red-hot scorching lust, that is…

“It is the feeling two people share when they are compatible on every level of their souls. It is at the center of our culture, our world. And…you and I share it.”

The words were Galactic Standard, but they didn’t make much sense. “I don’t understand,” she said slowly, struggling to sit up. “How can we share a compatibility like that when we’re not even the same race?”

Seeming to understand her need for a little distance, Lirzhan moved a few inches away. His gaze, however, remained locked on hers. “My people don’t have an answer for that yet. It was only very recently that we discovered the
sayara
bond could be shared with a human. It has not occurred between the Zhore and any of the other humanoid races, so we are not sure if it is specifically a Zhore/human phenomenon or not.”

Mind reeling, Alexa latched on to the only thing that seemed to make sense of any of this. “So, what…are you saying you were on board that shuttle because you knew we shared this connection?”

At once he shook his head. “No, not at all. I had never met you before then, or even been in close proximity to you, so I would not have felt it earlier.” He actually smiled, and although she felt that she should be angry with him, even if she wasn’t exactly sure why, it was difficult to be too upset when looking at that smile…or feeling the pulse of need for him deep within her core. “Believe me, Alexa, I was as surprised then as you are right now.”

“You sure didn’t show it.”

“Those hoods do have their uses.”

Despite herself, she chuckled. “All right, you have a point.” So many questions were running through her brain, she wasn’t sure which one to ask first. But since she had to say something, she remarked, “You’ve felt it during the past few days…and said nothing to me.”

“What could I have said? Your reputation preceded you, Alexa. I was very certain of our
sayara
connection, but announcing such a thing to ‘the Ice Queen’ upon first acquaintance seemed unlikely to provoke a positive response.”

If anyone else had used that epithet to her face, she would have told them to go to hell. Lirzhan, however, wore such a rueful expression that once again she couldn’t be angry. Much.

“I will admit that sometimes I can be a little…unapproachable.”

“Just a little,” he said, and reached out to touch her hand.

The feel of those thousands of tiny scales on his fingers, rather than repulsing her, sent a shiver down her spine. They were so marvelously tactile. The heat returned as she wondered if he had those scales
everywhere
…and what they might feel like against her.

Inside
her.

God, I really have lost my mind.
She shook her head, trying to free it of those completely out-of-character thoughts. Even so, she didn’t pull her hand away from his. His fingers felt too good clasping hers. “So what now?”

“Whatever you want,” he said simply. “I will not push you, Alexa, or do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. This must be somewhat strange for you — although I have to say I was encouraged when I heard you mention that your previous relationship was with an Eridani. At least that proved you have an open mind when it comes to such things.”

Well, there was open, and then there was
open
. Lots of Gaians dated Eridanis, married Eridanis, had children with Eridanis. There was a long and glorious tradition of the two races intermingling. But the Zhore? Most of the galaxy wasn’t even sure whether they were humanoid or not.

“I don’t….” The words trailed off, and she shook her head. “I’m not going to deny that I’m attracted to you, that there’s something…but I don’t know where to go from here.” All right, part of her did — directly to pulling him into the bunk with her and putting out the fire he’d kindled. But that would only complicate things further. At the moment all they’d shared was a kiss. If they slept together —
oh, don’t be coy, Alexa
— if they had sex, that would be opening a whole new can of worms. A really big can of worms.

Lirzhan appeared to sense her turmoil, for he squeezed her fingers gently before withdrawing his hand. “Right now, we don’t have to go anywhere. We are both tired, and we should try to get some rest. I am willing to wait as long as necessary.”

That’s very noble of you. I just hope I can do the same.
She only nodded, though, and said, “That’s probably a good idea. I’ll try not to wake you up with any more nightmares.”

And what that nightmare had been, she couldn’t even remember. Something about running through the dark, something chasing her, but nothing more concrete than that remained. Just as well, she supposed.

To her surprise, he leaned down and kissed her again, this time on the cheek, softly and quickly. Then he rose and went back to his own bunk.

Since when could a simple kiss on the cheek make her insides melt? But his did. She reached up and touched her fingertips to her cheekbone, as if she could still feel the warmth of his lips there.

You, Alexa, are in very big trouble….

No doubt. But she knew she’d be in even worse trouble if she didn’t get some sleep tonight, so she rolled over on her side again and tried to pretend that she couldn’t hear the creaking of the bunk across the room as Lirzhan settled himself on the mattress, or see the gleam of his eyes in the darkness.

And eventually she pretended enough that she convinced herself to fall asleep.

S
ome hours passed
. Exactly how many, he didn’t know, as he was not attuned to this world’s rhythms the way he was to his beloved Zhoraan. He had slept, that much he knew, slept and dreamed of holding Alexa in his arms. That she was so near and yet so far troubled him, but he knew he should be glad that she had responded the way she did. The taste of her lips was sweeter than anything he could have imagined, and she had kissed him back, hadn’t pulled away or protested. She was troubled by the situation, of course, but he could not fault her for that. In time he knew that he would not be sleeping alone.