He was momentarily startled and it was that small hesitation that saved her. She jerked the blade from his belt and ducked underneath him, sending chairs crashing as she crawled out of his way. She heaved herself to her feet and spun around to face him.
He drew his sword with a flourish and threw himself at her.
She fought him without any of her usual refinement. It would have been different if she'd had a sword, but she didn't and her body still didn't respond as it once had. She dodged his flashing blade, leapt aside to avoid being stabbed, and did her best to rid him of his sword. She supposed she was fortunate just to avoid being killed.
He flinched suddenly. Morgan saw a knife buried into his shoulder. She guessed it was either Weger's or Miach's, but she didn't take the time to look behind her to see who had thrown it. She jerked it out of Searbhe's flesh and backed upâand into someone.
“Morgan, move,” Miach said, snatching what was apparently his knife out of her hand.
She wanted to argue that this was becoming an annoying habit, but she was just too tired. She backed up until she felt a bench hit the back of her knees, then found herself pulled down to sit next to Weger. He looked her over.
“You're better,” he noted.
“Aye,” she agreed. “But still not whole.”
“Nay, Morgan, not that, yet. But you will be. Give it time.”
She nodded, then turned back to the fight in front of her. Perhaps Miach had decided that pretending to be less than he was didn't serve him. He was, she had to admit quite objectively, absolutely terrifying. If she'd been crossing swords with him in that mood, she might actually have paused to consider the advisability of engaging him.
Searbhe obviously had no such fears. She would have pointed out his mistake, but she didn't have time. Miach seemed to dredge up another measure of ferocity that left Searbhe stumbling backward in surprise. Miach beat on him until Searbhe had no choice but to merely hold up his sword as a shield. Morgan was almost sure she'd heard him blurt out a prayer of some sort.
Miach knocked the sword out of Searbhe's hands, then caught him under the chin with his fist.
Searbhe's eyes rolled back in his head and he fell to the ground with a loud crash.
Miach stood over him with his sword in his hand and waited for a moment or two. He nudged Searbhe with his foot, but there was no response. He waited a bit more, then resheathed his sword and turned to stride over to her.
He took her by the hands and hauled her up to her feet. “Are you all right?” he demanded.
“Fine,” she said, trying to sound more positive than she felt. “Thank you. Debt repaid.”
“I stepped outside for just a moment,” he said grimly.
“It's hardly your fault,” she said.
He shook his head, his mouth tightening. “I shouldn't have left you. Let me walk you back over to the fire.” He nodded to Weger. “Excuse us, my lord.”
Morgan walked with him, shivering in spite of herself.
“Did he say anything to you?” he asked quietly.
“Nothing interesting,” Morgan said. After all, Searbhe had only said that she looked like Sarait of Tòrr Dòrainn; he hadn't said that she looked a
good
deal like her. His words meant nothing. He'd been looking for an excuse to fight her and latched on to the first one he could find.
Surely.
“Someone left a pile of refuse on my floor,” Weger said pointedly from the far end of the hall.
Miach sighed. “I'll be back.”
She didn't have a chance to say anything to him before he had walked back to join Weger near Searbhe's unconscious form. They discussed something with low voices and sharp gestures. She sat and watched as eventually men came in, bound Searbhe, and took him away. Weger then crossed the chamber and looked down at her.
“You should go lie down,” he said mildly.
She shook her head. “Please, nay.”
“Why not?” Weger asked. “You're safe now. I'm having Searbhe thrown out the front gates. He won't return inside them. You're safe,” he repeated, throwing Miach a look.
Miach stood behind his usual chair with his hands on its back. He shot Weger a warning look, but said nothing.
“Nothing will come inside these gates to harm you,” Weger said, apparently preparing to wax rhapsodic about the virtues of his hall. “Truly, you could remain inside these gates and be safe for the rest of your life and enjoy nothing but peace, safety, and absolutely no magicâ”
“Oh, enough,” Miach said with a curse. He glared furiously at Weger, then took a deep breath. He turned to Morgan with a substantially softer expression. “I'll go see what becomes of Searbhe when he's outside the gates. I'll return.”
She would have stopped him, but he turned and left before she could. She watched him leave the chamber, then looked at Weger.
“What was that was all about?” she asked blankly. “I've never seen him so angry.”
Weger shrugged. “Mages are unpredictable. You never know what will set them off. Supper?”
Morgan nodded absently. Why not?
Â
A
n hour later, she was sitting on the bottom step of that perilous staircase, waiting for Miach. Weger had not come with her. She supposed she couldn't blame him. The wind was blowing a gale and the rain was lashing her unmercifully. If she'd had any sense, she would have gone to bed.
But, as she'd already noted, she had no sense left, so there she sat, huddled in her cloak, guarding a man who needed no guarding. He'd begged her to come inside the tower chamber with him, but she'd refused. She didn't think she could bear the feel of her magic. For that night, at least, she wanted the comforting hush of the magic sink.
To keep herself awake, she considered the benefits of itâand there were many. No magic, no dreams, no wrenching of her heart each time she looked at Miachâ
“Morgan?”
She looked up and realized that Miach was standing in front of her. Her heart, as usual, broke a little at the sight of him. She took a deep breath and cursed silently. He'd been too quick about his business. She'd hardly had the time to truly consider all the reasons she would be happier inside Gobhann than out of it.
She put her hands into his and let him pull her to her feet. She looked down at their hands together and found she couldn't pull away. When had it happened, that a man had found the stomach to want to take her hands?
When had she become so soft and pliable that she would want him to?
He put his arm around her. “It's cold, Morgan,” he said. “Let me walk you back.”
She nodded. She knew she should have pulled away from him, but she couldn't bear to. She had the feeling that he wasn't going to be at Gobhann much longer. How could he? He'd been there over two fortnights already. Surely the realm could not do without him any longer.
Besides, what else did Weger have to teach him? There was only one other person who'd mastered Weger's lessons so quicklyâat least in the current centuryâand that had been she herself. She knew what an aspirant looked like when he was on the verge of being releasedâ
She realized, with a start, that she was standing in front of her chamber. She looked at Miach.
“I don't think I can stay here,” she said.
He looked at her in surprise. “At Gobhann?”
She ignored how much relief was coloring his expression. “I meant I didn't think I could stay here in this chamber.”
He smiled, but it was something of a strained smile. “Of course. You've no need to worry, though. Searbhe won't come inside the gates again.”
“What happened to him?” she asked. “I forgot to ask you before you went into the tower.”
Miach leaned against the wall under the torch and smiled at her. “He woke, changed himself into a scruffy-looking hawk, and flew off.”
Morgan looked up at Miach standing in the soft firelight, his eyes so pale they were almost colorless, his face so handsome she was rendered feeble-minded, and wished for nothing more than to go into his arms and never move again.
But if she left Gobhann, she would be in darkness.
“Morgan?” he said softly.
She shook her head. “I'm fine. Where are you for?”
“I was going back to the upper hall. Weger sent word that he wanted to talk.”
“Are you going?”
“Why wouldn't I?”
“You were angry with him this afternoon.”
Miach smiled. “Aye, but I don't stay that way very long.”
“What did Weger say that set you off?”
“I didn't like the picture of Gobhann he painted for you,” he said simply. “I also didn't like him trying to convince you to stay here when I want you to come with me.”
She swallowed with difficulty. “I see.”
He took her hands in his and rubbed his thumbs over the back of them. “Morgan, I can't promise you safety, or peace, or respite from your dreams, but I can promise you that I will never leave you.”
She realized, to her horror, that tears were streaming down her cheeks. She didn't dare wipe them away, lest she draw any more attention to them. She bowed her head and a sob caught her before she could stop it.
“Come with me?” he asked quietly.
She caught her breath and looked up to meet his gaze. She had the feeling he was talking about more than just up the passageway to the gathering hall. “Iâ¦I don't know.”
His smile didn't falter, but it was very grave. “Let's go find a hot fire, gel. It will do you good. You're drenched.”
“All right,” she managed.
She let him lead her down the passageway, but she could hardly bear it. She didn't want to think that it might be the last time she felt his hand wrapped around hers, or the last time she saw the torchlight on his dark hair, or the last time she found his grave smiles turned on her.
She wasn't sure if she had the strength to face what she knew awaited her outside Weger's gates: magic, dreams, darkness. Miach.
All of that or the stark, unyielding quiet of Weger's tower.
It wasn't a choice she was sure she could make.
M
iach stood at the window in the gathering hall and stared down at the sea churning below him. He had, as it happened, never seen the sea below in the daytime. He'd always been too busy training so that he might have the prize he wanted. He supposed that today might be the last chance he had to reach for it.
A pity he suspected that, despite the easiness of the last few days, the prize didn't want to be won.
He wasn't sure where Morgan was and he didn't dare go look for her. He honestly couldn't remember when she'd left the gathering chamber, though he supposed he'd slept through it. It had been a very long night. It didn't help that his head pained him almost beyond reason. He wondered, absently, if Weger had anything stronger than ale. He would have killed for some of that very potent sour wine from Penrhyn that Adhémar was far too fond of. He sincerely hoped Adaira had brought along a kingly supply.
He didn't dare touch the place on his forehead above his left brow that hurt. It couldn't have been a very large mark, but it burned like hellfire.
It was something he'd accepted during the last watch of the night. Morgan had been sleeping curled up in a chair, no doubt exhausted by the discussion of wizardly minutiae, when Weger had suddenly leaned over and pulled something from the fire. Miach had barely had time to recognize that something as a slim metal rod before Weger had motioned for him to brush the hair back from his forehead.
“Hold still,” he'd said casually.
Miach had, only to find himself branded like a heifer.
“Congratulations,” Weger had said. “You may leave through the front gates.”
“Which way does the sword point?” he'd managed.
“I'm not sure,” Weger had said, peering at it. “I'm not a good aim this late at night.”
Miach had gaped at him only to watch him toss the iron back in the fire and laugh.
“Ah,” had been the only thing he'd found to say.
That had been somewhere near dawn. He'd finally closed his eyes for just a moment, then woken to find that it was after noon and he was alone. Stephen had come in shortly thereafter and set down a hearty meal in front of him.
“Your last one,” the lad had said with a gulp. “I think it's over the wall and onto the rocks for you, you poor fool.”
Miach had only smiled grimly, then set to with gusto. Over the wall, out the gates; it was the same if he went alone.
The door opened suddenly behind him. Miach didn't dare hope it was Morgan, dressed for travel. He took a deep breath, then turned and looked to see who it might be.
It was Weger, dressed for a usual day's work. Morgan followed him inside. There was, unfortunately, no pack on her back, no cloak around her shoulders.
And she wouldn't meet his eyes.
Miach stood where he was and watched them for several minutes. Weger actually didn't look any happier than he felt. Perhaps Morgan wanted nothing to do with either of them. He supposed that should have consoled him, but somehow it didn't.
Well, there was no sense in delaying the inevitable any longer. He walked across the chamber and stopped in front of Weger. He bowed low to Gobhann's lord.
“My thanks for your many kindnesses.”
Weger grunted. “You're welcome. Now, give me back my key.”
Miach dug it out of a pocket and handed it to him. “What will you have as my payment?”
“You'll think of something useful,” Weger said. “Send it along later. You, however, may go now.”
Miach didn't move. He looked pointedly at Weger, but the man didn't acknowledge it. Either he had the wit of a stump or he had no intention of making anything easy. Miach suspected it was the latter and knew he shouldn't have expected anything less.
“I would like to talk to Morgan,” he said. “Privately.”
“Nay,” Weger said, a definite edge to his tone.
Miach found his hand on his sword without knowing quite how it had gotten there. He decided, though, that a swordfight in the gathering hall wouldn't have been wise.
And it wouldn't serve him. If Morgan was going to come with him, she would because she wanted to, not because he had ground Weger under his heel. He glared at Weger, then took a deep breath and turned to Morgan.
“I don't give a damn about the Sword of Angesand,” he said in a low voice, “or your magic, or your destiny. I just want you to come out of hereâwith me.”
She looked up at him, mute.
Then she looked away.
“There's your answer,” Weger said promptly. “Best be on your way, then. I'm sure you have things to do.”
Miach wanted to argue the point, but he supposed there was no use. Perhaps he had been deluding himself. It was clear to him that even though Morgan might have forgiven him, she wasn't interested in leaving with him.
He held out his hand to Weger. “Thank you again, my lord, for the mark.”
“You earned it,” Weger said. “Fare you well.”
Miach looked one more time at Morgan's profile. He hesitated, then spoke. “I love you.”
Then he walked out of the room before he had to see the expressions on either of their faces. He closed the door behind him, took a deep breath, and walked wearily down the passageway.
He wandered along the edge of the courtyard, shaking hands with others where appropriate, ignoring slurs elsewhere, then he jogged down the stairs to the lowest level of Weger's tower. He went into the hovel he'd lived in for so long and sat on the stool that listed to one side, much as he had the first few nights he'd been there. He put his face in his hands, carefully, for several minutes and let his hopes dwindle away into nothing.
In truth, he shouldn't have expected anything else. He had wondered there for a few days if Morgan might have changed her mind about him, but apparently he had been mistaken. Her loathing of mages had been clear from the start. He should have accepted that.
He dragged his hand through his hair and sighed deeply. Perhaps it was for the best. After all, what could he offer her? A life of endless peril? Days on end spent waiting for him whilst he saw to the tedious business of being about the realm's defenses interspersed with hours of life-threatening battles? Would he invite her to sit next to him whilst he stuck his nose in yet another book of spells? Would he force her to be confined in the same country with Adhémar?
Perhaps she had rejected him for that last bit alone.
He sat there for far longer than he should have, but he simply couldn't make himself move. He wasn't one to give in to self-pity, but at the moment he was damned tempted.
He rubbed his hands over his face, cursed, then stood up. He would leave, then return home by the quickest route. Perhaps if he buried himself in the affairs of Neroche, he would be able to forget about the affairs of his heart.
He looked over the chamber a final time, then realized something was on the bed. It was a slim, elegant dagger with a hilt of gold, obviously meant to be tucked cleanly and discreetly down the side of a boot. He drew it forth from its finely tooled sheath and found, to his surprise, that it was covered with runes of the house of Neroche. A kingly gift, to be sure. Miach supposed Adhémar would be intensely jealous and immediatelyâand loudlyâdemand that it be his, which Miach supposed Weger somehow knew. It was almost enough to make him smile.
But not quite.
He stuck the knife in his boot, slung his cloak over his shoulders, and left the chamber. He was actually somewhat grateful for the burning in his forehead. It helped ease the ache in his heart.
He walked back through the maze of corridors, then down the final way to the gate, remembering vividly how he'd been assaulted by the gatekeeper that first day. There was a cloaked and hooded figure standing by the gates, no doubt waiting for his own assault. Miach thought to warn the lad, but perhaps there was no point. Anyone fool enough to enter Weger's gates was a fool indeed if he didn't know what he faced.
He opened the front gate himself, then hesitated. He turned and looked back up the way. He was sorely tempted to run back up the stairs, find Morgan, then carry her outside the gates before she realized what he was doing.
But once she was outside the gates, assuming she allowed him to get her that far, her magic would almost match his, her sword skill was superior, and he would be without any means to keep her near him. There was, in the end, no point if she didn't come with him willingly.
He sighed deeply, then turned and walked through the gates and into the sunset.
His magic returned to him in a rush, even more strongly than it ever had in Weger's uppermost tower. He stumbled for several paces, then went down to his knees. He knelt there in the snow and gasped for breath until stars stopped swimming in front of him. He drew his hand over his eyes to try to clear the haze away, then focused on the forest in front of him, just to give himself something to concentrate on besides the almost soul-shattering return of his powers.
It was, he had to admit, a very welcome feeling.
When he thought he could manage it, he heaved himself to his feet. He stood there for a moment or two, took a deep breath, then set off through the snowdrifts piled up against the footings of the castle. It was tempting to turn himself into something with wings and merely fly off, but he decided there was no sense in terrifying anyone looking over the walls. Better to go a mile or two into the forest, then be on his way.
He walked without haste through the woods for half an hour before he realized he was being followed. He was so surprised, he almost stopped. He quickly considered the possibilities and decided that it was most likely Searbhe, come back to finish what he'd started. He continued on, straining to hear the faint sound of a knife hurtling through the air toward his back. He continued to walk for several more minutes as the sun set, then suddenly melted into twilight mist.
The gasp behind him was immediate. “Miach!”
He wrested himself back into his proper form, then spun around to find that his shadow was none other than Morgan of Melksham, standing thirty paces away from him, gaping at him in astonishment.
He noted that she was dressed for travel. It occurred to him then that she had been the slight lad standing at the gates. He was surprised he hadn't recognized her, but in his defense he had been a little preoccupied.
He wondered what meaning, if any, he should attach to the fact that she had followed himâif she had indeed followed him. Perhaps she had merely chosen to leave Gobhann and her road had conveniently lain with his. Perhaps she'd only called to him because she thought he might have brought along something to eat.
Perhaps he would do well not to think overmuch for the next five minutes.
He made three very quick decisions. He would keep his mouth shut, his hands clasped behind his back where they wouldn't be tempted to clutch her to him, and let her tell him what she was about. He could see from where he stood that she was shivering. He supposed that had more to do with the chill in the air than with nervousness, but it was something he could see to. He took off his cloak, then walked over to where she stood and wrapped it around her. He didn't dare meet her eyes as he fastened the clasp under her chin, lest he see revulsion there.
He was, he decided, a coward.
Admitting it was one of the easier things he'd done in the past month.
“You looked cold,” he offered.
“I was. Thank you.”
He nodded and clasped his hands behind his back. “Are you,” he said, finally, “just out for fresh air?”
She blinked in surprise. “Well, nay,” she said. “I thought that perhapsâ¦well, I was thinking that you might⦔
He waited.
She took a deep breath. “I thought perhaps you might needâ¦company. Or perhaps someone to guard your back.”
He fought the urge to close his eyes in relief. Company or comrade-in-arms. At the moment, he would take either gladly.
“Whatever suits you, Morgan,” he said with a smile. He stepped backward and nodded toward the path. “Shall we?”
“Where were you going?”
He rapidly changed his plans. He had intended to return to Tor Neroche, but that would have taken him a grueling day as a dragon and he supposed Morgan would not be amenable to changing her shape. He obviously couldn't ask her to go on any long marches when but half an hour's stroll from Gobhann had seemingly taken its toll on her. Lismòr was a likely spot. She could have a day or two to rest in comfort whilst he determined his final course.
He opened his mouth to suggest that, but found himself interrupted by the very unwelcome sound of a branch cracking under a boot behind him.
He spun around and saw Searbhe standing in the trees some fifty paces from them. He drew his sword with a curse and stepped in front of Morgan. Though it was tempting to do Searbhe in and be rid of the aggravation, he knew he wouldn't. He'd had this same conversation with Weger the night before. Killing a man because he was a fool was not justification enough for murder. Perhaps all Searbhe needed was one last bit of shaming to convince him that a hasty return to Riamh was the best choice to make.