The Light Between Us (20 page)

Ruth laughed.  “I know.  I suppose it essentially is a 'yes.'  But the logical part of me can't quite allow me to confirm it yet.”  She turned in his arms to face him.  “Is that okay?  I know it's not what you were hoping for.”

“
You're asking me if I'm okay with the woman I fell madly in love with inside the space of a few days wearing the engagement ring I gave her and seriously considering my proposal?” he asked, a playful lilt in his voice.

She nodded.  “Yep, that pretty much sums it up.”

“
Ruth, I know this is crazy.  It's maybe even crazier for me than you.  I never though I'd see this day.  So . . . for you to actually want to say yes, to be thinking about it for real?  It is more than okay with me.  It is fucking amazing.”

“
You are fucking amazing,” she said with a coy smile, pulling him in for another kiss, the harbor air tangling her hair about both their faces. 

Chapter 12

The coffeehouse where Ruth sat with Padme, Cecilia, and Maddie slowly filled as they sipped their various drinks and nibbled at delicious treats.  Two musicians were readying to perform their bluegrass set on a low platform that had been set up to serve as a stage near the back of the cafe, against a rustic-looking brick wall.

Ruth half listened to her friends' soothing banter as she alternated quaffs of espresso with bites of an almond croissant.  She played with the ring Derek had given her the day before, rotating the diamond encrusted band around her finger again and again.  She still hadn't given him an answer.  That was why she'd invited her friends here, to ask them if marrying a guy with a sordid past was a totally insane idea.  She cringed at the thought – it sounded bad even inside her head. 

But she really wanted to say yes, against all her better judgment.  Ruth felt almost glad that she'd lost her phone, because she suspected that if she'd had it with her, she might not have been able to resist calling Derek and jumping into engagement before she'd truly made her decision. 

Ruth knew it must be torturing him, though, not having heard from her at all since his proposal.  She sort of hoped it was, just a little bit anyway.  She smiled mischievously at the thought.

Padme caught her smirk.  “What are you smiling about, lady?” she asked, eyebrow raised.

Shaking her head, Ruth tried to swallow some of her rather devious mirth and failing.  “Nothing.”

“
No way,” Maddie objected.  “You were thinking about that dude.”

“
Derek,” Padme added, nodding.  “She's got it bad for him.”

“
Intriguing,” said Maddie, raising her eyebrows appraisingly.  “This is the guy you picked up at the bar last weekend?”

“
I didn't pick him up,” Ruth protested.

“
Either that or he picked you up.  I think it sounds better the other way,” Maddie countered with a shrug.

“
And
,” Padme interjected as Ruth opened her mouth to argue, “apparently he's as into her as she is into him.”

“
Ooh!” squealed Cecilia.  “That's incredible!  It's so hard to find a guy who actually wants a real relationship, you know?”

“
Well, apparently relationships are a first for this one,” Padme snorted.  Ruth elbowed her, blushing furiously.

“
You've got him whipped,” Maddie said, nodding.  “I approve.”

Ruth rolled her eyes.  “That's offensive.  And ridiculous.” 

“
No,
you're
ridiculous – ridiculously in love,” said Padme around a bite of biscotti, eyes glinting with amusement.

Ruth felt her mouth flop open, but failed to conjure forth any words of protest that would actually hold up to their teasing.  Because Padme was – along with Derek, when it came down to it – quite right.  She felt the tips of her ears grow warm as she blushed with the truth of it.

Cecilia saw and squealed again.  “Oooh, you
are
in love, aren't you?  How delicious!”

“
It's about damn time you got some action,” added Maddie. 

“
That's what I keep telling her,” Padme agreed.

“
So, is he as handsome as he looked at Czar's?” asked Cecilia.

“
And,” Maddie said, wiggling her eyebrows, “more importantly, is he good in bed?”

Ruth felt her blush deepen.  “First of all, I'm not just
getting some action
.  Second –”

“
He is amazingly hot, you guys,” Padme interrupted.  “Like, he could give you an orgasm by making eye contact.”

“
That is not –“ Ruth protested around Cecelia’s latest squeal.

“
Well, that
is
exciting,” Maddie said in a bland voice belied by the playful sparkle in her eyes.  “Literally.”

Ruth buried her face in her hands.  “You guys are not allowed to meet him, ever, if you keep this up,” she said through her fingers. 

She heard a sharp intake of breath.               

“
What,” said Padme, voice dropping into seriousness, “is
that
?”

Ruth's head whipped up, heart suddenly leaping as her eyes darted around, searching for the source of Padme's concern.  “What?  Is there a bug on me or something?”

“
No,” squeaked Cecilia, eyes growing wide, “but a ring is.”

“
An engagement ring,” said Padme. 

Ruth swallowed hard as she realized her friends were attempting to bore holes through her ring with their eyes.  “Oh,” she said, laughing weakly, “that.”

“
Yeah, that.”  Maddie scowled.  “Please tell me that what I think is going on is not actually going on.  Please tell me that you are not completely out of your mind.”

“
Okay, I probably
am
completely out of my mind,” Ruth blurted.  “I know how crazy this is going to sound – but Derek proposed yesterday, totally out of the blue –”

“
Obviously,” Padme snorted, crossing her arms over her chest.

“–
and I haven't said yes –”

“
What a relief,” said Maddie in a flat, sardonic tone. 

Ruth glared.  “But . . . I still want to say yes.”

“
I can't believe you didn't tell us – tell me, at least – right away,” Padme said, a scowl blossoming on her face to go with the hurt in her eyes.  “This is huge.”

“
I'm telling you now, aren't I?” replied Ruth.  “That's why I asked you all out tonight.  To talk about this.  I – I needed to process on my own first, thought you know?”

Cecilia nodded.  “That's totally understandable hon,” she said reassuringly, shooting Padme and Maddie a glare.  “We get that,
right
, ladies?”

“
I still think it's insane,” said Maddie.

“
If you haven't said yes,” Padme said slowly, “then why are you wearing the ring?”

“
Because . . . well, look at it,” said Ruth, feeling the blush return as she held out her hand.  “I mean, come on, it's amazing.”

The three women leaned in over the table to examine the ring.

“
It is very beautiful,” Cecilia agreed, beaming at Ruth. 

“
Okay, it really
is
totally you, I have to admit,” said Padme begrudgingly.  “I'll give him that – he has, somehow, nailed this.  But there's more to marriage than a nice ring, Ruth.”

“
Do you think I don't know that?” Ruth asked, shaking her head.  “I'm not stupid.”

“
Could've fooled me,” grumbled Maddie.

“
Hush,” said Cecilia, jabbing Maddie with an elbow. 

“
So what exactly
are
you thinking, then?” Padme asked.  “I mean, okay, you haven't said yes to Derek.  But you also haven't said no, right?”

Ruth nodded.  “Yeah,” she said with a sigh.  “I haven't said yes because – well, obviously, this is all nuts.  There is no logical reason why I should say yes, and about a zillion reasons why I should say no.”

“
But . . . ?” said Padme.

Ruth sighed again.  “But . . . I love him.  I've never felt this way about anyone, ever.  And it's not just honeymoon-y, romantic feelings.  It's that knowing him – well, it's making me come alive.  Making me believe in myself, in my dreams  I have hope for the first time in – God, I don't know how long.  And not just hope for love – hope for living.  Living well.  Living awake, with blood coursing through my veins and wind on my face.  Like there's light all around me.”  She paused, drawing a deep breath, taking in her friends' dumbfounded expressions.  “Is that completely dumb?”

Silence reigned over their table, broken only by the buzz of their fellow patrons and the musical duo warming up on the platform stage. 

“
I think that's completely . . . amazing,” Padme said at last, a smile slowly dawning over her face.  “I mean, I've noticed it.  Noticed the change in you since Derek showed up.  And you're right, it's not just lovey-dovey.  It's deeper.”

“
This is so exciting!” said Cecilia.  “I am so excited!!”

“
So . . .  it's not ridiculous?” Ruth asked, forehead creased in concern.

“
Of course it's ridiculous,” replied Maddie with a short shake of her head.  “But love is ridiculous, isn't it?”

“
Completely ridiculous,” Cecilia agreed, bouncing up and down in her chair, blonde hair sashaying around her.  “Does this mean you're going to accept?  To say yes?”

“
I have no idea,” Ruth said, meeting Padme's gaze.  “I want to.  But . . . well, as you know, there are so many reasons not to.”

“
I know,” said Padme.  “But it sounds like your reasons to say yes might trump those.  Anyway, we can't decide this for you.  Only you can.”

“
Oh my gosh,” Ruth breathed, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, “I cannot believe I am seriously considering this.  That we are having this conversation.”

“
Tell me about it,” said Maddie, smiling in spite of herself.

“
Hey, Ruth?” said Padme, taking Ruth's hand in hers. 

“
Yeah?”

“
If you decide to say yes . . . well, we are going to throw you a hell of a party.  And if you don't, we say no with you.  Either way, we love you.”

Tears flooded into Ruth's eyes, taking her by surprise as they blurred her vision.  “Oh, Padme . . . I – I don't know what to say.”

“
Here's what I know – that you deserve a damn fine guy that brings out your best, that loves you and that you love back.  And if Derek is that guy, well, then I am all for it, insane timing or not.”

“
I think he might be,” Ruth said in a small voice, feeling her stomach twist with excitement at the truth of her words. 

Maddie raised her plastic cup filled with bubbly Italian soda.  “Well, I'll drink to that,” she said, “even though I still think it's madness.”

Padme and Cecilia raised their cups to meet hers, and finally Ruth added her own coffee cup, bursting out laughing at their unorthodox toast.

“
This is absurd!” Ruth managed to choke the words out around her laughter as her friends joined in.             

“
Only the best kind of absurd,” giggled Padme. 

I hope she's right
, Ruth thought as the musicians struck up a bawdy bluegrass number, openly admiring her ring, warm emotions bubbling through her.

“
Oh my gosh, I'm engaged,” Ruth blurted out over the music to her friends.  “I'm
engaged
, you guys!”

“
You'd probably better let Derek know,” Maddie snickered. 

Ruth's heart dropped like a stone.  “Oh shit.  You're right.  And my phone . . . I've lost my phone!  How am I supposed to call him?  I mean, I don't have his number memorized.”