The Legacy of Lochandee (23 page)

‘What if somebody needs you during the night?' she had said, ‘You can't go about naked in a hotel with all those ladies around.'

He reached behind the bedroom door and pulled it on, glad of its comforting warmth now. He looked towards the bed, expecting to see Bridie curled up and sound asleep, but the bed was empty, undisturbed. His heart plummeted. Where was Bridie? He turned and ran swiftly down the stairs. He pushed open the door of the little sitting room and there she was, curled up like a child, her cheek cradled in her hand. He opened the door wider and, even in the dim light, he could see the signs of tears where they had trickled down her cheek and onto the cushion.

‘Bridie?' He called her name softly, afraid of startling her. He moved and knelt beside her, laying his hand on her arm. She was so cold. He glanced at the fire but the grate held nothing now but cold grey ash. ‘Bridie! Wake up. There's frozen, you are …'

Slowly she opened her eyes and blinked like a sleepy child. Then she sat up and stared at him. He saw the dawning awareness in her eyes and she drew back from him, hard back against the settee.

‘Nick …?' she said his name uncertainly.

‘Yes, it's me. So cold you are, Bridie. Let me help you through to the kitchen and I'll make you a cup of cocoa.' He lifted her effortlessly in his arms. ‘You shouldn't have waited up for me.'

‘You were s-so angry. I was afraid you m-might …'

‘I know, I know. It was pride, I suppose. I'm a silly bugger for minding so much, I know, but never mind that for now. Bridie? What were you going to tell me when I bawled you out?'

‘About the baby? How did you know so soon? I was going to tell you over supper.'

‘I didn't know about that.' He set her on her feet close to the cooker but he kept his arms around her, trying to warm her with the heat of his own body. ‘Are you sure then?'

‘Yes. I went to see Doctor MacEwan this afternoon …' She glanced at the clock and gave a wan smile. ‘Yesterday afternoon. He thinks I'm nearly three months and I think that's about right too. Oh Nick …' She snuggled against him and his arms tightened.

‘Thank God,' he murmured against the crown of her head, burying his face in the soft curls. ‘I'm so sorry, Bridie. I should never have lost my temper like that. I was just so – so hurt that everyone but me seemed to know what you were up to, and Conan was so triumphant.'

‘I-I don't understand what you're talking about?' She frowned and leaned away from him, staring up into his face. ‘No one else knows about the baby except Doctor MacEwan, but I'll tell Mum soon and I promise I shall take the greatest of care this time.'

‘I know. I know you will, but I was talking about the bank loan you've taken on.'

‘O-oh …' Bridie's eyes widened. ‘But who could have told you about that? It couldn't have been Dad because he and Mum understood why I didn't want to worry you, and …'

‘Worry me?' Nick almost exploded again but he bit his lip and strove to keep his anger and his hurt to himself. ‘Why should I be worried?'

‘Well, maybe not worried exactly, but I didn't want you to be under … I didn't want you to feel forced to stay in the garage business with Conan, because I had created a huge burden by taking out the loan. I'm sure I can repay it in the time Mr Craig has arranged, and all I want is for you to be happy too and do the work you really want to do, whether it's partnership with Conan or a little workshop in a corner of the farmyard. I know you're unhappy and I hate to see you like this … Nick? Wh-why are you looking at me like that?

Chapter Twenty-four

B
RIDIE TREMBLED IN NICK'S
arms and hoped he was not going to explode in anger again. Both her parents and Fiona had advised her to confide in him and now she wished she had. She imagined she could see the cogs of his brain working rapidly behind his narrowed dark eyes.

‘I don't know why I didn't think of it myself,' he muttered and hugged her tightly. ‘Let me make you a cup of hot cocoa and fill one of the stone pigs, then we can both get properly warmed up in bed. My feet are freezing and you're shivering.'

‘I'm all right. Tell me what you're thinking, Nick? I didn't mean to hurt you …'

‘I'm thinking my wife is a genius!' he looked down at her and his expression sobered. ‘Conan is buying my share of the garage business so now I can do exactly as I like. And you've just given me the best idea yet …'

‘Conan is what? Have you agreed to split up? When did this happen?'

‘You didn't know?'

‘How could I know? When did you decide, and how will he manage to pay you your share?'

‘You really didn't know …?' Nick stared down at her and frowned. ‘Drink up. We'll talk in bed.'

A little while later, Bridie snuggled into his arms and he ran his hand over her stomach where the muscles were still taut. As always, he delighted in her trembling response. ‘This is the most important thing in our world now, or at least in mine, Bridie.'

‘You must know I want our baby more than anything else. But I still want to know about Conan and what you are both going to do, if he is paying you out your share in the garage.'

‘I'm surprised you don't know, because the money has come from you, even if it is indirectly. I'm still aggrieved that you didn't confide in me,' Nick added and Bridie could hear the hurt in his voice.

‘I'm sorry, Nick. I would never willingly hurt you, you must surely know that. I wanted to tell you several times, but then Dad refused even to think about my proposals and I thought there was no point in worrying you. I didn't want you to feel you had to stay in partnership with Conan because I had a debt to pay to the bank. I wouldn't have taken a loan if I didn't think Glens of Lochandee could pay it back. I don't think Mr Craig would have agreed anyway, but I thought you might feel under pressure to hang on at the garage, and I knew you weren't happy with the way things were going.'

‘I have faith in your judgement, Bridie, but I didn't like hearing about it from someone else. Promise me you'll always confide in me in future?'

‘I promise. Now do tell me about the garage. Did you and Conan have a blazing row?'

‘No, as a matter of fact it's all very amicable. I may need to help him out for a while until he gets another mechanic and a relief bus driver. Your parents gave him half of the money you paid to your father when you bought his share of the Lochandee land. That's to be his inheritance. He's over the moon because he didn't expect anything more from them, and he certainly never expected to have it now.'

‘I wonder why they've given it to him already?'

‘I think they knew our partnership at the garage was not working out very well. They probably wanted to help. Apparently, your father is going to use the rest of the money you paid him to build a milking parlour and shed for a dairy herd at Nether Rullion. When it begins to pay, he hopes to leave you a little money too, or so your parents told Conan.'

‘Dad has been more than generous to me already. I'm not jealous of Conan, just surprised at them giving him the money now.'

‘Well, I'm beginning to suspect your mother may have had a hand in things. Conan has paid me most of my share of the capital and we shall both be happier. But more than that, even after I've set myself up the way I want to be, I shall have quite a bit of my money left. So, my dear wife, I have every intention of using the rest to help reduce your loan with the bank. Hush, hush …' He placed a gentle finger over her lips. ‘Please don't shut me out again, Bridie, and if you're not too tired I'll tell you what I would like to do. How I would like it to be for both of us from now on.'

‘I couldn't sleep until I've heard everything.'

‘All right. Well, you just put the idea into my head. You mentioned a workshop in a corner of the farmyard. The empty shed and the small barn up at the little farm your father added to Glens of Lochandee would be ideal. It has access onto the side road from Lochandee village, so it would make an ideal workshop for farmers to come with the tractors and implements for repairs. I could work on them under cover there, and I wouldn't even need to lay out money for premises. I enjoy getting my hands on things, adapting them, finding out how they work, and even improving some of the machines. Farming is becoming more and more mechanised since the war.'

‘Oh it is, and my Dad thinks you're an excellent mechanic.' She felt Nick smile against her cheek.

‘I'm glad he approves. I have a lot of regular customers already and I know they'll keep coming if I can set up locally. Conan will be pleased to get rid of them from the garage. I intend to buy a cattle lorry too. I shall never be a farmer, but I'd like to be around to help you when you go to market, Bridie, or to your shows with the cows. I reckon there's plenty of business to be had transporting other cattle. Most of the farmers are too busy, or too short of labour, to walk them to market now. Taking them by lorry is quicker and easier. Then there's the tractor driving to do here, the ploughing and cultivations, the mowing and rowing, harvesting the corn. I know Sandy Kidd and Frank understand cattle better than I ever shall, but neither of them is much good with the tractors.' He chuckled in the darkness.

‘They would both agree with you there. In fact, they'll be relieved if you take over some of the cultivation, but, Nick, I don't know how you'll ever fit in everything you plan to do.'

‘When I get established, I can always train an apprentice, or employ a driver for the cattle lorry – maybe even two or three if there's a demand. Who knows? It's not that I've no ambition as Conan thinks; I just don't share his ideas any more. Most important of all, I intend to spend more of my time looking after my wife …' His hand moved back to Bridie's stomach, ‘and my family,' he said softly as he sought her lips in a kiss which promised everything Bridie had dreamed of.

While Fiona had not seen Beth for more than a week, Lucy had been over twice after school, and both times she had remarked how tired her mother seemed to be. Even though she was young and had her own school work with its attendant problems, Fiona sensed she was more than usually concerned by Beth's constant need to rest whenever she was at home. She hardly ever cycled now – both Bridie and Mrs Maxwell collected her in the car on the days she worked for them. Conan would have liked her to help him at the garage but Beth said she simply hadn't the energy for anything more. So Fiona made a point of going across to the cottage later that evening.

‘I've just lit the fire, and I'm ready for a seat and a chat.' Beth greeted her with evident pleasure. ‘Take that chair, Fiona. It's dark so early now and it's getting colder.' She shivered. ‘Or is it just me?'

‘The days are certainly short but I haven't felt the cold too badly yet. In fact, I love crisp mornings and bright, clear days.'

‘Aye, each season has its charm, I suppose …' Beth said slowly and stared into the fire. When the silence lengthened between them, Fiona looked at Beth uneasily. ‘I-I just thought I should ask you, Beth … Well, I wondered whether you had changed your mind about wanting me to be Lucy's guardian, I mean now that she's getting older and …'

‘No! Oh no. You haven't changed your mind, have you, Fiona?' There was no doubting the desperation in Beth's face, the leap of fear in her eyes.

‘Of course I haven't,' Fiona said softly and drew her chair closer to Beth's. She patted her hands where they lay turning and twisting in her lap. ‘I'm growing very fond of Lucy and she works so hard. You must be very proud of her getting both piano and violin lessons through the school?'

‘Aye.' Beth sighed heavily. ‘Her music would have been a great benefit to her, if she'd been able to go in for teaching.'

‘Well, don't give up hope of that. I'll make enquiries about grants and scholarships, if you like, when Lucy gets nearer to deciding what she wants to do. Is she doing her homework just now?'

‘Yes, she's in her room. She spends hours with her books. I shall not see her until bedtime.'

‘I'm sure she enjoys it,' Fiona smiled. ‘Don't worry about her, Beth.'

‘I can't help it,' Beth whispered despondently. Her thin fingers were clenching and twisting restlessly. Fiona reached forward and clasped them in her own hands.

‘What is it, Beth?' she asked softly. ‘It's more than Lucy, I'm sure.'

‘Lucy is my chief concern …' Her voice sank so low, Fiona could barely hear. ‘I've got a lump. Here.' She released one hand and put it to her breast, but her eyes were wide with fear as they met Fiona's startled gaze. ‘I-I've had it ages. It just stayed the same and I thought it was nothing to worry about. B-but it – it's changed lately … Oh, Fiona I'm so afraid – not just of dying … it's leaving Lucy. I c-can't bear it.' She shuddered and a hard, dry sob shook her thin frame.

‘Dear Beth,' Fiona heard the tremble in her own voice. ‘Have you talked to Doctor MacEwan?'

‘No! No, I-I hoped it would go away. I don't want an operation. My grandfather always said when they cut it with the knife, it just grows faster and folks die quicker.'

‘But Beth, it may be a cyst. You may be worrying unnecessarily …'

‘No,' Beth shook her head. ‘I know …' she said hoarsely.

‘Is that why you've been so tired recently? If it's painful …'

‘It isn't, not the lump. It's just backache makes me tired. It never seems to go away. I keep taking aspirins but they make me feel so sick … I hardly know what to do any more …'

‘Then let me come with you to see Doctor MacEwan, Beth. It may not be as bad as you fear and he could give you something for the pain in your back. I promise he would never send you to hospital or make you have an operation, if you didn't want to have one.'

Beth clutched Fiona's hand like a lifeline. ‘You'd come with me? You'd tell him I don't want an operation?'

‘Of course I would. I'll give you all the support I can, Beth, I promise.'

‘You're hardly more than a lassie, Fiona but you're a good friend to Lucy and me. Th-there's something else I-I ought to tell you,' she whispered and her eyes moved to the fire. She stared into the leaping flames for a long time. Fiona waited patiently, in silence. ‘I've never told a soul. But you're her guardian.' Beth began to speak in short, nervous sentences now. ‘Not even Harry. Couldn't. W-would've broken his heart. I always meant to write a letter. I'm no g-good at writing though …'

‘Don't distress yourself, Beth. You know I'll always do what's best for Lucy whatever happens. You don't have to tell me anything.' Neither of them heard the creak of old wood as Lucy came down the dark stairs from her attic bedroom.

‘I-I must. Y-you see, Harry was not Lucy's father …'

Fiona heard herself give an involuntary gasp, but she did not hear the echoing gasp from the tiny hall. It would never have occurred to Lucy to eavesdrop and now she was frozen to the spot in utter shock. She heard her mother's low, faltering voice continuing. ‘I loved Harry with all my heart, Fiona. I never loved anyone else. Never. It-it was … He had been on leave. He went away again – so soon. I missed him terribly. I-I didn't love Lucy's father. He didn't love me. He doesn't know either. No one knew!' Her voice shook and Fiona could only imagine the anguish Beth must have born for so long, and on her own. ‘He was so young. So unsure then. Just a bit of an innocent laddie going to fight for his country.' Her voice broke, but she sniffed and went on. ‘He was hurting … needed reassurance. I-I thought he might never come back. It never happened again. J-just that once. It was a comfort – to both of us. N-nothing else. I dinna expect you can understand, a fine lassie like you, Fiona, but …'

‘You'd be surprised how well I understand, Beth,' Fiona said in a low, sad voice, and clasped the nervously twitching fingers tightly in her own. ‘Your secret is safe with me, never fear.'

‘Y-you d-don't blame me then? You'll not hold it against Lucy? My poor wee bairn …'

‘I would never hold it against Lucy. She's a lovely girl and I'm very proud you have asked me to be her guardian, and that you have trusted me tonight.' Fiona wondered whether she should ask who Lucy's father was. Why was it so important for Beth to unburden herself after all these years? Beth remained quiet and Fiona felt she had talked enough for one night.

‘We'll go together and see Doctor MacEwan,' she said more cheerfully than she felt. ‘Shall we, Beth?'

‘All right,' Beth said wearily.

‘Just you sit still then and I'll make us a cup of tea, then I'll get off home.'

‘Bring a cup for Lucy, please, Fiona. I'll shout her down in a minute.' She lay back in her chair and closed her eyes. ‘I feel calmer now, at peace inside.' She yawned tiredly.

A few minutes later Fiona carried in the tea tray and called Lucy to join them. There was no reply.

‘Maybe she's gone to sleep? Shall I peep into her room, Beth?'

‘All right. She never goes to bed without saying good night though.'

There was no sign of Lucy in her room, nor anywhere else in the little cottage.

‘She must be in somewhere,' Beth said.

‘Maybe she's called on Carol?'

‘She never came through here. She'd have no coat and it's a cold night.'