Authors: J. Adams
“Well,” Andrea says, “she didn't know how good she had
it.”
“Thank you,” he says, smiling shyly.
“Have you lived here all your life?” I ask.
“No. My mother and I moved here when I was eight.”
“Where did you move from?” Adagio asked.
“Charlotte.”
“Really? I lived in Charlotte when I was young, too. I
have never been back.”
“I. haven't, either. I've heard it has grown a lot though.”
“I'm sure it has. Of course, I thought Charlotte was big
when I was young.”
Jacob chuckles. “Everything seems bigger at that age.”
“This is true” I say, grinning. “What made your mother
decide to move here?”
“Well, actually, she never would tell me. I mean, many
years later she did, but during the time it was happening, she
just said she wanted to start out fresh somewhere else. So she
moved us here.”
“She must have been going through a rough time,”
Adagio says, spooning more potatoes onto his plate.
“She was. And I learned just how rough when she finally
told me the real reason we left.” Jacob pauses, again becoming
thoughtful. “She found out that the man who fathered me was
married and had a kid a little older than me. Mama knew
someone who knew him and his wife. The person told her he
was abusive. It was all a major shock. For years after that,
Mama tried to move on in her life and forget about him, but
she couldn't. Finally she decided she couldn't stay there any
longer.”
I shake my head sadly. “So you've never had any contact
with him?”
“Naw,” he drawls. “I never felt the desire to see him.
Pretty sad, huh?”
“Yes, but it's also understandable. He was never a part of
your life. You can't miss something you never had.”
“I met him once before we moved. Even after seeing me,
he didn't want anything to do with me. I guess that kind of
stuck with me.”
I nod, understanding. “It's sad how much we hurt others
with our choices, especially when it comes to our children.”
Adagio takes my hand, squeezing it gently and I smile, knowing
he is remembering just as I am. The years of sexual abuse I
suffered at the hand of my father will never truly be forgotten,
but I made my peace with him a long time ago.
“You know,” Jacob continues, “his wife eventually died
of alcoholism. He tried contacting Mama after that, but she
would have nothing to do with him because it would've hurt
too much to start things up with him again. Then years ago
Mama heard he had died. I can't remember if it was from
cancer or AIDS. I just remember mama crying.” He shrugs his
shoulders. “That's the way things go sometimes.”
As he moves to another topic of conversation, for some
reason my mind echoes over again the last thing he said.
“I can't
remember if it was from cancer or AIDS.” And the wife dies of
alcoholism?
I lightly touch a hand to my hammering heart. I feel the
squeeze of Adagio's hand and turn to find his expression
mirroring mine. I chuckle inwardly.
You've got to be kidding me!
It is Adagio who finally asks, “Jacob, do you by chance
remember your father's name?” My grip on his hand tightens
in anticipation of his answer.
“Yeah. His name was Alton Matthews.”
We stare at him in silence. Only after the words have
been spoken do I see it. Jacob has my father's eyes, and his
smile. I can't believe I didn't see it before!
“Cisely, Adagio,” Andrea says, breaking the silence, “are
you all right?” She glances over at Jacob, who also looks
concerned.
I am suddenly so emotional, I can't speak. I press a hand
to my mouth and the tears come. Adagio puts an arm around
me, holding me close.
“It is all right,
amore,
” he whispers. Raising his teary eyes
to Jacob, he says, “Forgive us. My wife felt that we needed to
come back to North Carolina for some reason, but this is
something we never saw coming.” He chuckles emotionally.
“You see, except for a couple of relatives, we thought all of
Cisely's family had passed on, and now . . . we find out that you
two have the same father.”
I look at Jacob, and I can tell it is taking a few seconds for
his mind to process what Adagio just said. Then I watch his
brown eyes grow large and teary. He looks over at me, his
expression turning melancholy.
“So, you're the sister I never got the chance to know.”
I swallow hard, tears falling down my face. “Not until
now.” With that, the two of us stand and move into each
other's embrace. We hold onto one another and cry.
Over Jacob's shoulder, I watch Adagio and Andrea look
at each other and smile, tears streaking their faces as well. I
finally move back a little, pressing a hand to my brother's face.
“This is a most unexpected blessing.”
“For me too,” he says, squeezing my hand.
We stay with Jacob until late, talking and sharing our
lives. I can't believe I actually have a brother! When I was a
child, I wished for a sibling, then as I got older, I figured it had
been for the best because of what the child would have been
subjected to had it been a girl. And now to find out after all this
time that I have a brother is more wonderful than I can
possibly say. I know without a doubt, my prompting to come
back to North Carolina was to bring our family together.
As Andrea listens to Adagio sharing how he and Cisely
came to be together, she is amazed. They are two of the best
people she has ever had the privilege of knowing.
“Yours sounds like a marriage made in heaven,” Jacob
says, taking of sip of hot chocolate.
Adagio looks into Cisely's eyes, pressing a kiss to her
hand. “It is.”
Jacob watches the two and smiles, a hint of sadness filling
him. If things had gone the way he'd wanted in his life, he
would be married with grown children of his own.
“Are you all right?” Cisely asks, covering his hand with
hers.
“I'm fine. I just can't help wishing things would have
worked out differently for me. I mean, don't get me wrong. I've
had a good life. But it would have been nice to have a wife and
kids.”
Cisely squeezes his hand. “But as you said, you have lived
a good life. You have accomplished a lot.”
“I know,” Jacob says with a smile. “I still can't help
thinking about Brenda. She was a beautiful woman. I saw her a
few times right after we broke up. After that, it was as if she'd
disappeared from off
the
face
of
the
earth.
Sometimes
I
wonder how things would be now if she had married me.” He
chuckles. “I don't know, maybe we would have driven each
other so crazy, our marriage would have fallen apart anyway. I
was seventeen years older than she was. If we had gotten
married, she would still be young while I'm now an old man.”
“Hey,” Cisely says, “I'm only a few years older than you.
You're as old as you feel.”
“Yes ma'am,” Jacob says humbly and Adagio chuckles. “I
won't make that mistake–”
“My
mother's
name
was
Brenda,”
Andrea
interrupts
softly. She looks at Jacob intently. “Brenda Anderson.”
Jacob's expression changes, becoming unreadable. Except
for Cisely's soft gasp and Adagio's whispered,
“Mama mia!”
there is silence.
“Andrea,” Cisely finally says, “tell Jacob what you know
about your parents.”
Lifting a shaky hand, Andrea pushes her hair back from
her face,
then
takes
a
deep
breath,
trying
to
steady
her
emotions. “Well, I only know what my grandmother told me.
And she basically repeated what my mother told her, which was
that my father left her pregnant and didn't want anything to do
with me. That was a joke in itself considering she dumped me
off on my grandmother and took off to pursue her own
dreams.” She pauses, looking down at her shaking hands. “My
grandmother told me she didn't really believe my mother and
there had to be more to it, but I figured it was all true. I mean,
why would she lie?”
Jacob closes his eyes and sighs, completely overwhelmed
by the knowledge that lay before him. All this time, all these
many years, he's had a daughter. He's lived in the same town
with her for almost twenty years and had no clue. He opens his
eyes, focusing his gaze on Andrea.
“Brenda told me she didn't want me, but she never told
me she was pregnant.”
“Well,” Andrea says, looking at him tearfully, “she was
such an unhappy person, maybe she wanted us to be unhappy
too. Or, maybe she was so wrapped up in herself, she just
didn't care.”
“Maybe,” he agrees, looking at her as if he is seeing her
for the first time. He now recognizes Brenda's smile. And
taking in her skin coloring, he has no doubt she is his daughter.
He takes her hand, watching the tears spill down her cheeks.
“Now
that
you
know
the
truth,
how
do
you
feel about
everything?”
Andrea smiles, moving into his open arms, and soaks in
his embrace. Drawing back a little, she looks into his eyes,
wiping at the tears trailing down his face. “Having had the
opportunity to know you, I don't think I can ask for a better
father.” Hugging him again, she suddenly laughs. “This is
incredible!”
Adagio and Cisely dry their own tears.
“This whole day has been amazing,” Cisely says. “We've
discovered I have a brother and a niece! What a wonderful way
to end a long vacation.”
Adagio smiles at his wife, suddenly needing to be alone
with her. “Jacob, would you mind giving your daughter a ride
home?”
Jacob grins back, still reeling that Andrea is really is his
daughter. “I don't mind at all.”
Adagio and Cisely thank him again for dinner and the
four share firm embraces, marveling at how wonderful the day
has been for them all.
Adagio leans back against the pillows with me securely
wrapped in his arms. To say the day has been a fulfilling one is
an understatement. It is as if every event in my life has led me
to this night, and everything has been laid out in the open
before me.
“Oh,
amore
,”
Adagio
whispers
into
my
hair.
“How
fortunate I feel to be a part of something so incredible!”
I nod tearfully. “It's still so hard to believe. When I think
of all the times I longed for a sibling as a child, it boggles my
mind that . . . oh, if I had only known . . .”
He presses a gentle hand to my face. “All I can think is
better late than never.”
“True,” I agree with a smile. “Thank you for sharing this
experience with me,” I say, pulling his head down to kiss him.
He smiles against my mouth. “By your side is the only
place I will ever want to be.”