The Lawman's Bride (22 page)

“I don’t know,” she said. “I feel so stupid. What’s wrong with me to get caught up with a phony like him?”

“There’s nothing stupid about you,” Sophie assured her. “He’s a
master
at using people. You want to be loved and needed, and he zeroed right in on that need. He’s good at what he does, so don’t ever think differently or feel like it was your fault. It wasn’t.”

Amanda took a lace-edged handkerchief from her pocket and wiped her eyes and nose.

They ordered cups of tea and Amanda filled her in on the latest gossip and shared details about Mrs. Winters’s cranky attitude the last few days. Finally, Amanda gave Sophie a hug. As though reluctant to let go, she held Sophie’s hand as she backed away, then released her and headed back to the Arcade.

A burden had been lifted, but there was much to happen yet. She couldn’t imagine where she’d be six months from now. The thought was daunting…frightening. But she had her mind set to do the right thing from here on out. She intended to enjoy her last days of freedom and see Garrett get what he deserved.

That evening most of the lights in the buildings along Main Street had been extinguished, but several remained bright. Late guests were arriving at a hotel across the street, and Sophie enjoyed her new vantage point from her window. She could still hear the train whistles and the bursts of steam as the engines halted in front of the depot, but she couldn’t see the crowds or hear the voices.

She’d enjoyed another quiet dinner alone in the hotel dining room. The manager and the staff treated her well. A man in a gray serge suit had asked if he could join her for dinner, but she’d politely declined.

Telling Clay the whole truth and withstanding his reaction had been a torturous mix of relief and disappointment. Either he refused to believe her or he was angry with her. Or both. Since she hadn’t seen or heard from him, he was obviously disappointed. And disgusted. His hasty rejection hurt, but she understood.

She didn’t have many choices left. She’d taken her best shot in confiding in him and coming up with a plan. She was finished lying and she was done running. After tomorrow Amanda would be safely out of Newton, so if Sophie didn’t hear from Clay by then, she would go to the jail and turn herself in to Marshal Vidlak.

Garrett would be their problem after that. She’d be tucked away in a cell. She’d never allowed herself all these raw emotions before. She’d never dealt with feelings. Even though she’d been alone for most of her life, she was now experiencing loneliness in a new and acute way. Sophie needed someone to talk with.

Pulling on her walking shoes, she exited her room and locked the door. It was a fair distance to the doctor’s home, but she remembered the streets and enjoyed the walk. Lights shone from the windows of the two-story house as she approached. The home, she corrected. The sound of a child’s laughter reached her and found a place inside that remembered family. Dredged up a long-lost feeling of security.

It had been many years since she’d felt safe. Never once since the day she and her mother had been captured.

She’d never felt more like an outsider than she did standing at the gate in front of the Chaney home. She didn’t know what she’d come here for. There was no magic cure for what ailed her.

“Hey! Miss Hollis!” Out of the darkness, a small figure dashed from beside the house and ran to where she stood. She recognized Ellie Chaney’s youngest brother as he drew close holding a jar filled with flickering lightning bugs. “I ’member you. Come in. Ellie will be glad to see you.”

“I wouldn’t want to bother her. I was just out walking.”

“At night? C’mon. She made cinnamon buns today.”

She let him lead her toward the house and up the porch stairs. He set down his jar, then opened the screen door with a creak of hinges.

“Ellie! Miss Hollis is here!”

The doctor’s wife entered the foyer from the comfortably furnished room at front of the house. “Sophie! How nice to see you. Please, come in.”

“I was just out walking. I don’t want to interrupt your evening.”

“Don’t be silly. Come in and have a seat.” Behind her the doctor was playing on the carpeted floor with the baby. He called a greeting to her.

“Hello, Dr. Chaney,” she said, then more softly to Ellie, “Really, I was just passing by.”

Ellie touched her arm. “Don’t move. Stay right there.”

She spoke to her husband a moment, then took Ellie’s arm and led her out the front door and around the side of the house.

In the darkness, Sophie made out a wooden swing on a frame in the side yard.

“Have a seat,” Ellie told her.

Sophie sat and Ellie perched beside her before setting the swing in motion.

“Did everything work out all right at the Arcade?” Ellie asked.

“I got myself fired.”

“Oh, no!”

“On purpose.”

“Why?” Ellie’s question held a note of compassion.

“It’s quite a long story. And it probably doesn’t have a happy ending.”

“Caleb will put the children to bed. You have my undivided attention. I promise you can’t shock me.”

“Oh, I don’t know. Your hair might stand on end.”

“Sophie.” Ellie took a deep breath. “My mother was a drunk and a prostitute. We lived in a shack with no heat. My brothers and I had no clothing or food except what we stole or the church ladies gave us. After Flynn was born whenever my mother had a baby, she buried it. Once I saw a dog dig one up.”

Sophie stared at the other woman. “Oh, Ellie.”

“Still think you can shock me? I can’t remember how old I was when my mother took money to let a man have sex with me.”

Sophie felt the helpless urge to cry.

“When I found out I was pregnant I tried to hide it from her. I gave birth to a baby girl alone and was terrified for her life. I ran out in the night and left her on a back porch. I stayed hidden until the couple came to the door and I saw them take her in.”

Sophie’s chest ached and tears welled in her throat.

“When my mother died, I tried to take care of the boys, but the state took them and put them in a foster home where they suffered another kind of abuse.”

“What happened?” Sophie managed.

“I got a job as a Harvey Girl to earn enough to get them back and take care of them, but I broke my arm and couldn’t work. Caleb doctored me and asked me to take care of Nate. Caleb was recently widowed. He taught me to trust. He showed me love and care, but it took a long time. My past was a wall around my heart. He even took me to see my little girl so I’d know she was happy and well-cared for.”

“And she is?”

Ellie smiled. “She is. She doesn’t know I’m her mother, but I visit her every so often. It’s a sad-sweet joy to know her. Her parents are wonderful people. I did the right thing.”

“What about…?” She couldn’t bring herself to ask.

“The man who fathered her was killed.”

Sophie accepted that information with a nod.

“Benjamin did it. The man tried to abduct me.”

Sophie couldn’t hold back a little gasp. Ellie and her family seemed so happy and normal, it was nearly impossible to believe the things Ellie had just shared with her. What courage the woman possessed! What an enormous amount of love it had taken to heal.

All the fear and rejection and regret she’d stifled for a lifetime boiled over the surface of Sophie’s emotional reservoir, and her throat ached with silent sobs.

“Let it out, Sophie,” Ellie told her. “It’s okay to feel the hurt and the pain. It’s okay to hate whoever did this to you. It was wrong and you deserved to be taken care of and loved.”

Sophie nodded. “I—it was wrong, wasn’t it?”

“That’s what Caleb always told me.”

“And you finally believed him?”

“I did. Just like you will. You’ll believe you are a good person. A person worthy of love.”

Sobs took over and Sophie’s whole body quaked from the force of them. Tears poured from her eyes, and her shoulders shook. Ellie just held her, comfortingly rocking the swing back and forth in a gentle soothing rhythm.

Sophie cried until her throat hurt, until her eyes burned and she was emotionally exhausted. Her breaths became shudders, but eventually the tears subsided and she collected herself. The hem of her dress was soaked from holding it to her face.

“I’ll bet it’s been a long time since you did that.”

Sophie wiped her nose. “Never.” She sat up and looked at the other woman’s kind face. “Thank you. For your honesty. For knowing I needed to hear those things.”

“I just wanted you to know you could talk to me,” Ellie said, her voice soft.

So Sophie told Ellie about her childhood. She revealed the things that brought her the most shame and regret. And she told her about Amanda…and about Clay.

“I’ve never loved anyone before,” she said. “I don’t want him hurt, but I’m afraid it’s too late. How can he love me after all I’ve done? After the lies I’ve told—even to him?”

“Love doesn’t keep count of offenses,” Ellie told her. “Love is bigger than mistakes, bigger than our pasts. That’s what Caleb taught me. You can believe it, too.”

Ellie rubbed Sophie’s shoulder. “The marshal is a good man. He’ll know the right thing to do. The best thing for everyone. Have a little trust in him.”

“All right,” she said with a nod. “I love him, Ellie. The only reason I’m afraid of going to jail is because I’ll lose him.”

“You’re very brave. I’m going to believe that this is all going to work out for the best.”

Sophie looked at the young wife and mother beside her. “I think I knew all along that you were someone I could talk to. The girls at the dormitory are kind and caring, but I’m so different from them, sometimes I’m surprised we even speak the same language.”

“I felt the same way,” Ellie told her. “Like an imposter.”

Sophie shrugged. “I’ve always been an imposter, so I’ve never known anything else.”

“I used a made-up name, too.”

At that Sophie started to laugh. She threw back her head and let the laughter roll over her and from her.

Ellie joined in, and they laughed until they cried, then they laughed again.

Finally Sophie wiped her eyes on her already soaked skirt. “You don’t know how much I needed this.”

“I think I can guess. Want to come in for a cold drink now? I made lemonade earlier.”

Caleb had put the children to bed. Benjamin sat at the kitchen table with a book. Sophie remembered what Ellie had told her, and her heart went out to the young man and this family.

Caleb joined them for a glass of lemonade, and then he insisted that Benjamin walk with her to the hotel.

“Your sister is a very special person,” Sophie said to him.

He nodded. “She’s the only mother Flynn ever knew. She was more of a mother to me than the woman who birthed us.”

“How do you handle that, if you don’t mind me asking?”

He shrugged. “I dunno. Mostly I don’t think about it. I think about the people who care about me.”

“You’re a wise young man. And you want to be a veterinarian.”

“Yup.”

“You’ll be good at it.”

“Here’s your hotel, Miss Hollis.”

“Thank you for accompanying me. Good night.”

He turned and ran back the way they’d come.

Sophie watched him go, then entered the lobby and climbed the stairs to her floor. The unknown was still disturbing, as was the fear of losing Clay. But she had the satisfaction of knowing she’d done things right. Finally.

If she had to go turn herself in tomorrow, she’d always know he’d cared for her. There simply was no way things could have been different for them. She was who she was. She’d lived the experiences she had through no choice of her own—and made the best of it.

A pitcher of water stood outside the door. She carried it in, lit one of the lamps and undressed. Brushing out her hair, she made a point of noticing her roots where her hair was growing in a lighter brown. No need to touch up those again.

Sophie wet a cloth and raised it to her face. A movement in the mirror caught her eye, and her heart stopped. Dropping the cloth with a splat on the wood floor, she turned.

Garrett moved forward from the shadowy corner, and his gaze raked over her. “Some things haven’t changed, Gabriella.”

Sophie grabbed her wrapper from the screen where she’d hung it and pulled in on. “Nothing about our agreement allows you to be in my room,” she told him.

“Couldn’t have anyone seeing us together without you in disguise, so I stopped by.”

“Picked the lock, you mean.”

He grinned. “I’m still the best.”

“What do you want?”

“I noticed you cutting all your ties, and I wanted to warn you not to be obvious or make a spectacle of yourself. The less attention you draw the better.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore what people think of me,” she told him. “Once we pull off this job, they’ll never see me again.”

“You should have kept your disguise at the Arcade.”

“Easy for you to say. You’ve never had to wait tables or be polite to every person who comes through the door.”

He moved closer, and Sophie’s heartbeat accelerated.

“I’m no longer a naive young girl,” she told him. “I’ve joined you in this scheme of yours and I will work the craft as you taught me, but I make the decisions about who shares my bed.”

A scowl creased his forehead, and he pierced her with a contemptuous look. “Don’t think too highly of yourself and your ability to make that choice just yet.” He moved forward, grabbed the front of her wrapper and jerked her up to face him.

She turned her head so that his nose grazed her cheek.

“You conceited, ungrateful little bitch. What do you think you’d be without me? I made you into a woman men lose their heads over. I gave you your abilities and talents. You don’t tell me who makes decisions, or have you forgotten the punishment for displeasing me?”

With a determination and courage she hadn’t known she possessed, she yanked her clothing away from his grip and faced him with a fierce glare. “I haven’t forgotten your abuse for a moment, not for a second. But I’ve put it behind me and washed myself of the taint.”

Garrett’s expression revealed his shock and anger.