The Last Roman (Praetorian Series - Book One) (46 page)

Satisfied he was all right, I straightened my head
to rest my neck, and Helena loomed over me again.

“Can you sit up?” She asked.

I strained my back, but I didn’t budge.

“Nope.”

She frowned and I saw her glance away. She obviously
had something on her mind.

No surprise there.

I looked up at her. “You saw me naked.”

She looked back at me and a slight smile formed on
her lips. “Yes. Yes I did.”

“Well this is awkward…”

Her smile evaporated and she pulled away as she
looked at her hands in her lap. I turned my head to look at her,
but didn’t say anything.

“Jacob, I… I just wanted to say I’m sorry for how I
acted that night. I overreacted.”

My back was starting to hurt from idleness so I
tried to shift my position on the table again. The slight movement
shot pain through every inch of my body and I felt my body fighting
against the inevitable blackout I knew was coming. I thought the
combination was going to kill me, but the pain slowly went away and
my sense sharpened. I looked at Helena whose concern was very
clearly evident.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” She asked. “I could
come back if you want to rest.”

“No,” I said quickly. “Don’t leave. I… I need you
right now.”

She leaned back. “Need?”

I closed my eyes. Maybe if I couldn’t see her, this
would be easier. “I fucked up, Helena. All this time I thought I
had all the answers and knew what was best for me, you, the team,
everyone. But I don’t.” I opened my eyes when Helena didn’t say
anything, but all she did was lean in closer to hover only a foot
above me. “You didn’t overreact. Not in the least. The past few
months have changed a part me, and not for the better. I don’t like
it, and it’s…”

I trailed off when I noticed how intently Helena was
staring at me. Her eyes were sad and distant but their intensity
threw me. I couldn’t interpret what the expression meant. I was
about to continue when Helena thrust herself at me and pressed her
lips against mine, much as I did to her all those months ago. The
shock wore off quickly and I found myself struggling to move my
hand into her hair as she continued to work her lips lovingly
against mine. I failed and the sound of my arm slapping against the
table surprised Helena into pulling away.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I hurt you?”

I gazed up at her lovely face and wonderful green
eyes and smiled. “Of course not. I’m just a little surprised.”

“I know,” she said meekly. “Me too, but I couldn’t
help myself.”

“You couldn’t help yourself,
now
??” I asked
with a weak smile. “When my face looks like I went twelve rounds
with Rocky?”

She smiled. “It’s not your face that made me kiss
you, Jacob, but what you said. I’ve felt you pulling away for
months now, placing more and more burdens upon yourself and slowly
pushing me away. What you said before you left about not needing me
hurt.” She looked at me almost angrily now as she relived the
memory. “I didn’t want to accept where that comment came from, but
it had become difficult not to.”

I glanced at Santino again to make sure he was still
asleep. Our conversation was becoming increasingly personal and I
didn’t want him overhearing us. Luckily, he still seemed out cold.
I turned back to Helena and frowned. “Helena I’m still the man I
was before. Just…”

“No you’re not. You’re darker, more selfish, and
more introspective, and not in a good way. It’s become obsessive. I
can understand not coming to me, but you’ve neglected even your
best friend.” She pointed at Santino. “I can count the number of
conversations you’ve had with him over the past winter on one hand.
You never go to him for help or advice, and you know damn well it’s
not always that bad. Why do you think he volunteered to go with you
and Agrippina?”

I didn’t have an answer.

“Because he’s your brother! The story you told me
about what happened in North Korea forced it on you two, and you
should be grateful for that shithole because of it. But he’s just
as worried about your recklessness as I am and wanted to keep an
eye on you.”

“How do you know that? Did he tell you?”

“He didn’t have to, Jacob,” she said softly. “I
know.”

“So why now?”

“Because I care for you, Jacob. I have for a very
long time. I want to be with you and be there for you. When I saw
you on that cross I was horrified. I couldn’t believe how close I
came to losing you. ”

I stared at the ceiling, the memory of my torture
the only thing I could focus on despite Helena’s loving words.
“They were crucifying me, Helena. Crucifying.”

“I know,” she said, her tone shifting dourly. “When
I came in and saw you and Santino hanging there, I couldn’t believe
it. Seeing it actually happen... it’s hard to believe.”

“Tell me about it.”

“I’m sorry. I can only imagine how painful it must
have been.”

“I really doubt it.” I took a deep breath. “I’m just
glad it’s over.”

“So am I,” another voice chimed in, interrupting us,
“and I am extremely happy to see you awake.”

As the voice came closer, I looked to my right to
see Vincent approach and stand opposite Helena. He looked down.
“How are you feeling, son?”

“Better,” I answered. “Come to give me my last
rites?”

He smiled. “No.”

As I lay there, looking up at him, an epiphany
sparked in my head. It was as though I had finally figured out this
nagging feeling I’d had about him since we first arrived here. I
didn’t know why, maybe it was the drugs, but something in his
expression and mannerism just screamed at me, triggered by how he
had called me, “son.”

I turned my head, and studied his face. “You’re not
a priest, are you?”

Vincent straightened while Helena shifted her look
towards him, a confusion spreading across her face. He stood there
for only a few seconds before he crossed his arms, and looked at
me. His face suggested he was trying to find the best way to answer
and he shifted his feet and looked at the floor.

“What gave me away?” He replied, looking up with his
eyes.

I heard a sharp intake of breath from Helena, just
slightly more surprised than I was. I met his eyes before
responding.

“I’ve had my suspicions for a while, to be honest,
but it wasn’t until just now that I confirmed it. The way you
called me “son” and not “my son” did it. You’ve done it before, but
maybe my drugged up state has given me some advanced powers of
observation, but the way you said it just clicked. The fact you’ve
never insisted on presiding over Mass on Sundays didn’t help much,
either.”

“There’s just no fooling you, is there?”

I shrugged, immediately regretting it.

“Well… you’re right. I am no priest. I’ve spent my
entire life since leaving the Swiss military in the Pope’s Swiss
Guard, and I’ve spent more time in the Vatican than I have anywhere
else. The Pope himself suggested the idea that we have a member of
the clergy on the team, and he wanted me ordained, but I told him
no.” He sighed. “I’ve felt lots of things in my life, but never the
calling to become a priest. Pope Gregory understood the sentiment,
himself not having felt the call until somewhat later in his life.
Instead, knowing I was the most experienced and willing man for the
post, he gave me his blessing to assume the role, to act as a
symbol and a reminder of who and what we were working for.” He
stopped himself, and looked at the floor again. “I guess there’s no
need to keep pretending then, is there? Ancient Rome has no need
for Catholic priests. Especially phony ones.”

“That doesn’t exactly sound like something a pope
would just allow,” I said, skeptically.

“Desperate situations call for desperate answers,
Jacob. Not many priests are fit for military duty.”

“So, why didn’t you go through with it?” Helena
asked.

He looked thoughtful as he glanced at her, his look
lingering ever so slightly. “I think it’s because I still want to
have a family of my own, one day. I’m not that old, you know.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” I asked.

He sighed. “At eighteen our convictions are a hill
from which to look out from, at forty five they are a cave in which
to hide.”

I squinted. “Hemingway?”

“Fitzgerald,” Helena answered for him with a smirk.
“F. Scott.”

I returned the look. “Smart ass.”

Vincent smiled at us. “Were I a younger man, I may
have come out with it, but time slows us down. Helps us think.
Makes us patient. Hell,” he paused, suddenly taking a moment to
ponder his next thought. After an awkward moment, he continued,
“Hell, were I a younger man, I may have taken my vows. Either way,
it seemed best to keep my cover locked in a cave until you figured
it out for yourself.”

“Seems this outfit is full of surprises,” I said.
“What’s next? Is Santino really a cross dresser?”

“I heard that,” said a weak and raspy voice, “and
could you keep it down? I’m trying to sleep.”

The three of us turned to look over at Santino, who
had his eyes open, but kept his head facing towards the roof of the
tent. Helena pulled her chair next to him, and gripped his
hand.

“How are you feeling?” She asked.

“Like I was just crucified. Oh, wait. Remind me not
to let that happen again.”

Helena smiled down at him. “Well, it’s nice to see
you haven’t lost your charming personality.”

I saw Santino’s jaw working, and I assumed he was
trying to keep his mouth from drying up, but then it looked like he
was almost going to cry.

“I lost my knife,” he said, as though it had been
his mother.

“Don’t worry,” Helena told him, “we’ll get you
another one. A bigger one. I promise.”

“Oh, that’s nice…” he muttered, slowly drifting
unconscious again.

“Get better, John,” Helena told him, leaning down to
give him a quick peck on the lips.

“I could get used to that,” he mumbled as his small
smile faded along with his consciousness.

“So are you upset with me?” Vincent asked as Helena
returned to my side

“No.” I answered firmly. “I’m a military man. I’m
used to my commanders lying to me.”

“And you?” He asked, looking at Helena.

She considered for a moment. “No, sir.”

“Good. I was hoping you’d say that, the both of you.
Honestly, I feel quite relieved. Maybe I can curse every once in a
while now.”

“That would be refreshing, sir, and since you’re
here, mind telling me how and why you came to rescue us?”

“It was Helena’s idea,” he answered immediately.
“After you left, she came to me and voiced her dissent of the
mission. She explained how you admitted to her that you didn’t
trust Agrippina, and that you knew something was off about the
mission. However, since you couldn’t refuse to help a grieving
mother, you hoped to expose her plot by going through with it.”

“I said all that, huh?” I asked, looking up at
Helena. She gave me a look that suggested I shut the hell up and
roll with it.

“So, once the legion arrived outside of Rome a few
days later, and after you hadn’t reported in, I asked Caligula if
we could go in under cover of an artillery barrage, and get you
out. He was reluctant to condone such an action, but in the end,
decided it would send a strong message to the city’s inhabitants.
So he agreed, and even offered a contingent of his own troops to
help.”

“How did you find us?”

“After we snuck through one of the gates,” Helena
answered for him, “we asked some folks along the way for
directions. They were very forthcoming. Besides, we had Santino’s
UAV.”

“Ah, right.” I took a deep breath, feeling the need
for sleep wash over me. “Thanks.”

Vincent smiled, and patted me on the shoulder. “Get
some rest. We’re going to need you one of these days.” He nodded to
Helena, and left the tent.

She watched him go. “Didn’t see that coming.”

“Yah,” I replied. “Me neither, but I’m getting
pretty good at reading people these days.”

I thought about Agrippina, and how I was certain she
was implicated in Santino and I getting our asses kicked and how
she had so easily played us. I hadn’t seen her clearly in that
moment before I fell unconscious, but I knew it had to be her.

“Then again, maybe I’m not,” I thought out loud.

Helena reached over and intertwined her fingers
through my own. I looked over at her, and saw the same bloodshot
and puffy eyes I had seen the day I left for Rome. I felt just as
sleepy as she looked, but I finally found the strength to reach a
hand up and grab her head. I stared at her for only a moment before
I pulled her towards me. “Come here.”

She didn’t resist and I brought her into another
kiss, this one sweeter and more intoxicating than the last. Helena
was right. We’d danced around our feelings and emotions for far too
long. I’ve cared for her just as long as she has for me, probably
longer. She pulled back after a few moments and kissed me lightly
on the forehead.

“Like I said before Vincent arrived, you’re heading
in the right direction. The man I grew to care for is there again.
For you to admit that you were wrong was a huge step. You’re words
and attitude are far more compelling than your face ever was, and I
want to be there to help.” She smirked. “Then again… I did see you
naked.”

I looked at her happily, more happy than I’d been in
a long, long time. “Like what you saw, Miss Strauss?”

She shrugged. “I suppose so, but it’s not like I
have many references to compare it to.”

“Ouch, Helena. Ouch. Maybe you’d care to return the
favor? I’d love to offer you some constructive criticism. Trust me,
it’d be my pleasure”

She reached down to cup the side of my cheek while
unzipping her shirt, stopping just above her navel. “Don’t get any
ideas, Lieutenant. There’ll be plenty of time for that… later.”