The Land Of Shadows (16 page)

My calmness shatters and I can simply not stand by for another moment while Luna spouts such nonsense! I grab hold of her arms and shake her.

“Stop this! This is not some quest for you to prove you are braver than us. You are
not
going to die. We will kill her together.”

Luna laughs, “Together?”

“Yes, you and me. Deal with the fact that I am here to help you.”

I let her go and look around us for the first time. We have wasted enough time arguing and we all need some sleep if we want to get an early start.

“This looks like as good a spot as any. What do you think, Raighne? Three hours sleep then we get going with the sunrise?”

Raighne looks around us “At sunrise then.” He doesn’t wait and takes to the ground, making himself as comfortable as he possibly can on the hard ground.

“What? That is it! You decide it is time for bed and you just go to sleep?” Luna looks offended. Rue settles down against a tree and I find it funny when she glares at him, too.

“What good will any of us be to Alchera if we are half dead? We follow the same routine as in the desert, the same routine you were taught in class.”

I choose the tree opposite from Rue and watch Luna from under half-lidded eyes. She stands around aimlessly. I wait, hoping she will come to me.

“Are you really not going to sleep?” Raighne asks.

“I should not have to explain myself to any of you.” Luna walks into the darkness, and although I’m not happy about letting her go, I’m definitely not going to run after her every time she throws a fit.

I shoot Rue a dark look to make sure he stays where he is. It doesn’t mean that he can now go sneaking off after her.

The sounds in the forest are peaceful, and try as I might to stay alert, my head nods with heaviness a few times.

‘…through the Waterfall of Mirrors and then on to the Great Lake where the Weeping Willows reach their roots deep into the water, while hanging their heads toward the Weeping Woodlands. You don’t want to get lost in the Weeping Woodlands, Luna. Be careful, and don’t waste any time there! I fear your safety most in the perilous Shifting Mountains, but once you’ve crossed them you’ll be in the Shadowlands.’

Hearing Alchera lay out the path for Luna to take makes me wonder how long they’ve had this bond going before Void came along.

‘I have seen it and I will be careful. It is just…’
Luna hesitates, and I wait to hear what she wants to confide in Alchera.
‘The others are holding me back. I feel I can move so much faster without them. I do not need to sleep! I can travel by day and night.’

Instinctively I get up to go look for her. There is no way she is making a run for it while I’m half asleep.

‘Luna?’

Alchera’s voice pitches high with anxiety and I feel it eat away at Luna’s heart. I don’t want to wake the others by calling for her, but I desperately hope she didn’t go too far.

‘I am here with you. I am so sorry for failing you, Alchera.’
Luna tries to inject some strength into her voice.

‘I sounded like you once.’
Alchera’s sob echoes through Luna’s mind into mine and I can feel Luna cringe.
‘You have set out on a mission to save me and you’re so young…’

‘As I said before, Alchera, I will save you.’

I spot Luna where she’s sitting on a bed of ferns. She found the only moonbeam to sit in as it shines through a redwood’s branches.

‘How did you manage to block Raighne out?’
she asks and I can hear how miserable she is.

‘I wasn’t very successful, Luna. It’s only because of the shadows that Raighne can’t get through to me. Why do you ask?’

‘I need to block Storm. He has been made my guardian. Can you believe it? I have been given a guardian! After all that training they made me a charge!’

‘Storm’s your guardian?’
Alchera sounds surprised and just hearing her voice sound anything but empty lifts Luna’s spirits some. It’s good if the girls can manage to make each other feel better under the circumstances they find themselves in – even if it is at my cost.

‘Yes! Just speaking of it makes me want to choke on the insult of it!’

‘I didn’t know you shared such a close bond with him.’
Alchera comments

A smile spreads over my face. I can’t wait to hear Luna’s response.

‘We share nothing. Storm … he … I don’t even know how he feels! What does adore mean anyway? For all I know he hates me.’

The hurt seeping through her voice and into her heart has me moving from my cozy spot.

“I do not hate you.” Luna squeaks when I suddenly disturb the silence around her.

She jumps backwards when she sees how close I really am and lands in a crouching position a distance away. The black of the night is starting to break into the duskiness of dawn.

“Well, you do not like me either.” My eyes drink in her every movement as she straightens herself out. “Not even my conversations with Alchera are private now?”

I keep my distance. Rejection is the last thing I’m looking to find right now. I’ve had enough of that to last me a lifetime.

“It is quite challenging to not take notice of the two of you when you are practically having this conversation in my head. If my memory serves me correctly, I was the one who was trying to rest.”

‘Luna!’
Alchera’s scream slams so hard against the walls of Luna’s mind that for a moment she freezes like a hunted deer. I frantically try to get in so I can see what Luna’s seeing but it’s useless. Just like before, I’m left to only pick up on her emotions.

~*~

Luna~

There’s a buzzing in my ears. It doesn’t take me long to realize it’s the sound of wings - thousands of tiny wings. Panic sets in when my sight fades away and all that remains is darkness, very much like Alchera described early on. I didn’t see the vision earlier on. I could only hear what Alchera was going through. This time it’s more terrifying as I see everything she sees.

I reach out in front of me as I feel way too vulnerable, and the more I peer into the blackness it begins to look alive. It’s as if tiny black shadows are crawling all over each other.

The smell of rotting flesh fills my nostrils and I fight the urge to cover my face. I need to keep my hands in front of me.

‘Do you see them, Luna?’
Alchera’s fear spills over into my gut and I try to subdue it.
‘Do you hear them?’
she asks in a quivering voice.

‘I do, Alchera.’
My voice trembles the same as hers and I hate myself for it.
‘I hear them. I can see them, but it is only in our minds.’

This time I say it more to remind myself of what reality is and what is manipulation. This is Void’s doing!

‘You must try to find a way to block it out.’
I say to Alchera. My stomach churns as the blackness begins to swirl and I hunch back down so I can feel the comfort of the ferns around me.

‘
I can’t! It’s everywhere.’
Alchera screams again as the shadows separate and flies swarm around us.
‘I feel them crawling over me!
’ As Alchera’s voice fills with utter revulsion I start to feel hundreds of tiny insects crawl over my skin, too.

No matter how I try and tell myself it is just an illusion, my senses tell me differently. I can only stand Alchera’s screams for another second before I start hitting at myself as I desperately try to swat the swarming flies away.

“Luna, stop!”

The impact Storm hits me with, pinning me to the ground with the full strength of his body, leaves me breathless and dazed for a blessed second. It passes though, and the buzzing returns louder than before. I squirm and thrash under Storm. He doesn’t understand! I need my hands free so I can get them away from me, but just as fast as they return my mind clears up, leaving me blinded in the blackness.

‘
Do you like them?I wanted to show you my pets. They get so lonely at times and then I let them out for a while. I love them so.
’

Void’s voice is even more toneless than before, and for a moment I feel hopeless. Maybe I’ve taken on too much. I feel him leave and fear I have failed when I lose Alchera’s link as well. The darkness remains, leaving me blind. I’m so scared.

Storm’s weight lifts off me, and when he hugs me to his chest, I put my arms around his waist. It’s such a blissful feeling and I press my face into the crook of his neck. His skin feels perfect against my cheek, and just to inhale his scent again settles my mind. I tighten my grip on Storm as a feeling of total safety washes over me. I wish I could see him! Just the thought of not being able to see his icy eyes brings tears to mine.

“You are not alone in this, Love. You have
never
been alone to begin with.” Storms voice sounds heavenly after the evil, wretched buzzing. I need more of his touch. I just don’t know how to ask him to rub my arms where it feels the worst.

“Storm …” I hate how needy I feel. I pull back slightly and it’s as far as I can get myself to go. I can’t bring myself to ask Storm to touch me.

‘It would be great if you could find it in yourself to admit you need me.’
Storm pushes me away and gets up. I swallow back the self-doubt and tears and open my eyes. I don’t have time to be happy that my vision has returned. Storm’s face is hard, and even though the rising sun might be warming the ground with its first rays, Storm is far from warm himself.

With the dawn comes the reality of what I have done. I have finally succeeded in turning Storm away from me, just when I need him the most.

~*~

It is in the darkest of times you learn what you treasure most.

You may be at your weakest, but it is only then you stop lying to yourself.

Storm~

Is it at all possible to rip your soul from your body? It must be! Because that’s what it takes for me to pull away from Luna, even though I know she needs me, but I fear if I stay a second longer I will lose control and I am not that kind of man.

Being her guardian precedes any other emotion warring in my heart. Her safety is all that matters.

“That is it? That is all you are going to say?”

I take a deep breath before I look down at Luna. Her tear-streaked face is almost more than I can bear. They say you have to be cruel to be kind. I have never, before the breaking of this ungodly day, understood what those words meant.

“Rue should be waking up at any second. It is best you not keep him waiting.”

I feel how my words cut into Luna and I can’t endure this twisted suffering we insist on inflicting upon each other any longer.

“Is that what you think? By Awo, Storm! He is my friend.”

A few hours ago I would gladly have stayed to have this argument, but I’m a bit too tired right now. As I walk away from her all I feel is a gaping hole where my heart used to be, and a need for air. She was mine for so long, and without her I can now only hope that someday I will be able to breathe freely again.

“Storm! Do not turn your back on me.” Luna surprises me when she slams an energy orb into my back. “Do not walk away from me!”

I try to block the feelings of betrayal and confusion she experiences, but when she continues to run after me her anger spills over into my heart.

“Do not dare, Luna!” For the first time ever I truly fear losing control of my talents as my anger and heartache burn hot. “I am not the one who betrayed
you
. I am not the one who turned my back on
you
. Ever!” Luna stops mere inches from me but I don’t give her a moment’s breath to say something. She had her chance. “For the longest time you held my life in your hands…” My voice fails me as my anger grows, and even though its early morning a sweltering heat is starting to beat down on me. “First you drag me back from the pits of death, and for what, Luna? So you can torture me for all time without end? I have been so patient with you … so very patient, Love.”

Tears spill over my cheeks and I know I won’t be able to speak another word. It feels as if my very heart might shatter in my chest.

‘I never could make you happy. What I have to offer is just not enough for you.’
As I realize this for myself it cuts deeper into my already broken spirit.

“No, Storm!”

I hold my hand up and with one glacial look I silence Luna. I take a step away from her to try and create some breathing space.
‘I remain your guardian and will never turn my back on you, but I am afraid that is where it ends. Warmth and comfort you will have to find in your friend’s arms … not mine.’

I turn away from her. This time I don’t walk, but run, to make sure she can’t follow me. If stay I will beg forgiveness for my cruel words.

~*~

Luna~

I’m sure if anyone looks close enough they will see a blood trail beneath Storm’s feet. The blood dripping from my heart he just ripped out.

I double over, and just like Carter that day in his cage, I take to the floor on all fours and heave. The hurt is too much to keep in. I can’t even cry. Dry heaves quake through my body until I slump down between the ferns and just lie where I fall.

What have I done? I have ruined what I had with Storm. Alchera is being tortured. Raighne hates me even more. Is this what Mara meant when she said I will be an outcast?

“Luna, what are you doing over here?”

I don’t even bother to lift my head. Raighne is the last person I’m in the mood to speak to while my life is coming to such a miserable end.

“I am contemplating my failures, so if you would like to have a go at me, now would be perfect. Go on, kick me while I am down.”

“Get up!” he barks.

I consider Raighne’s order for a moment. “No. I would like another minute to pity myself before I go and destroy yet another person’s life.”

“I really do not have the patience to do this again!” Exasperated, Raighne sighs, and his look holds nothing good for me. He walks over to me and crouches down. He frowns darkly and then picking me up, he throws me over his shoulder.

A shocked gasp escapes my lips. “Put me down!”

“Be silent woman!” he barks again.

I press my elbows against Raighne’s back so I can see what is going on as he carries me back to the campsite. This is way too embarrassing.

“I can walk!” I shriek when we get closer to the others.

“It certainly did not look like it a few seconds ago.”

I scowl darkly at Raighne’s backside and then quickly look up again. The last place I want to be caught looking is at his … um … behind. I shake my head hard at the flustering thought.

“Raighne, please! I am sorry for being rude to you. Please put me down.”

Raighne drops me instantly, but I don’t escape his intense gaze. How on Vaalbara does Alchera live with him? My nerves flutter into a tight knot.

“First I find you just lying and pitying yourself and now you apologize to me? What happened? You are never this compliant. I need you to be focused to save Alchera.”

I want to shout at the sky! Alchera has done unspeakable things to Raighne but still he fights for her? Why can’t I find that kind of love for myself?

“You really love her so much?” I want to know what I will be dying for.

Raighne cocks his head and smiles at me for the first time. “You will never know how much, Luna. I am…” Raighne looks away and I can see how he is struggling to find the right words. “I am truly thankful for what you will sacrifice for me. Without Alchera I am nothing. When the time comes for you to take out Varia, I will hold Storm back so he cannot interfere.”

I stagger a step back at his words. “You have known all along?” It’s a painful whisper. “That is why you kept your distance from me?”

“Yes. I needed you to be strong. I do not want your forgiveness, Luna. I just want you to save Alchera. I am nothing without her.”

I nod my head because it is all I can do. Raighne’s truth should be liberating, but in a way it is too final. He will be there to make sure I do my part. He will keep Storm back. He will keep my guardian from saving me.

“Here you are.” I can’t bring myself to turn around and face Rue. I realize I’m still nodding at Raighne and stop.

I stare bleakly at Raighne begging him with my eyes to handle Rue so I can have a moment to myself. He nods, getting my message.

To Rue I say, “I am going to go look for a place to wash up.”

I move quickly when Raighne reaches to place his hand on my shoulder. I can’t stand for him to touch me! Just because he opened up doesn’t make it right. His sideways smile fades into a pitiful version, making me swallow hard on my sorrow.

“You go wash. We will find something to eat,” Raighne says, backing me up.

Without so much as sparing either of them a glance, I run as fast as I can. I allow the branches to whip at me with their long scrawny fingers. Raighne said he will keep Storm back. Now is my
only
chance to break away from the group.

~*~

Storm~

I stop running when the feeling of utter desolation washes over me. It is pretty much how I feel only there is a sinking feeling of loneliness, as well. I curse silently.

I’ve been so caught up in my own pain I haven’t kept an eye on Luna! I might be angry with her, but her safety still comes first. I close my eyes and bring her into focus. Her surroundings blur together, making it hard for me to find her. I manage to catch hold of a thought and it sours my blood.

‘Raighne said he will keep Storm back. Now is my only chance to break away from the group.’

Not wasting any time, I form a rather large electric pulse and send it out into the air. I need to know in which direction she went. Impatience gnaws at my insides as precious seconds waste away. I can’t believe how much ground Luna’s covered when it finally slams into her.

I don’t waste time and I use my blizzards to give me the extra speed I need to try catch up to her. Luna’s emotions clouds her judgment and only Awo knows what kind of trouble she’ll get herself into with the state she’s in.

Panic closes up my throat and I push even harder. I can feel the electricity pulsing within my every heartbeat. The need to get to her grows ever stronger, along with a great pressure building in my chest. It threatens to split me in half when, unexpectedly, everything flares into a brilliant white around me. A thundering sound fractures every particle and the ground shakes before it disappears from under me. I desperately try to find something to hold, but all my fingers can grab onto is a foggy wetness. Another loud thundering deafens me just before I hit the ground … hard.

My first sober thought that comes to mind is that the ground is not supposed to feel this soft. Then again, the ground is not supposed to move either!

Hands grip my shoulders tight, and in the next second I’m flipped over and land hard on my back. The last thing I want to do right now, is fight. My vision is still blurry and I can’t make out who the other person is. I roll over and push myself a distance away while bringing my powerful wind up for protection. The moment her small fist strikes at me, my reaction is automatic. I throw my winds at her and it’s with surreal terror that I watch Luna plunge into the ground.

Aghast, I see the dust settle around her, knowing I’ve practically crushed her fragile body into the hard soil. Life slowly returns to my horror stricken limbs as she attempts to push herself from the ground only to slump back down. I’ve hurt her!

“Awo! No,” I whisper. I move at lightning speed to get to her. “I did not know it was you.”

Dazed, she tries to push herself up again and I don’t hesitate to lift her from the hole. She turns her head away from me and touches her face. Her hand comes away with a mixture of blood and stones, intensifying my guilt.

When I feel emotions of worthlessness trickle through her, I lift her face so I can see her eyes. They are the same dull gray as the other day, with no sparkle of life to be seen. She won’t make eye contact, and as I try to turn her face so I can see where she’s hurt, she pulls away.

“Love, I honestly did not know it was you. One minute I was still trying to catch up and the next I hit the ground.”

Luna keeps her eyes downcast and with no verbal response I’m starting to wonder how hard I slammed her into the ground.

“Hey, look at me. Let me see your face.”

The part of her face I can see sets into hard lines. She turns around and starts to walk away from me. She barely reaches a few feet when I bring up a wall of twisters to block her way, but I’m mistaken if I think she will give up that easily. Luna just changes course and keeps walking. Again I bring up another wall of twisters. When I bring up the third wall of twisters, forcing her to face me, she lets out a frustrated scream. I bring one up a final wall of twisters behind me, caging her in.

“No!” she growls. For a moment she glares at me, her breaths coming out in quick little puffs, but then her shoulders sag. ‘I do need you.’ Her lost and disheartened look is a devastating blow to my heart. I walk to her but she doesn’t look up. When I reach her, I slip my hands over her jaw, and lift her face to me. Her eyes are glistening with unshed tears as she whispers, “Storm, I need you so very much.” A sob escapes Luna and I pull her into my arms. She slips her arms around my neck and standing on her toes, she presses her mouth to mine.

~*~

Luna~

I don’t care about consequences. I can’t be this close to him a second longer and not touch him. I can’t die and not have him know how I really feel. Even if he hates me after the kiss, at least I will know that he understands my true feelings.

Feeling his lips against mine is heaven, or as close as I’ll ever get to it. Storm will always remain my unattainable dream.

Just as I think he is not going to respond, his warmth spills into me and he pulls me tight against his body. His tongue slips over my bottom lip and I open my mouth to let him in. The kiss is fiery and wild. I hold on tighter when his mouth trails over my jaw and then down to my neck. I want to give him all of me before I die.

He brings a hand to my neck, and his fingers brush gently over my skin. I want his mouth on mine again, but before I can kiss him, he pulls back. “Luna!” My eyes snaps open. That is certainly not the way I imagined him saying my name right after I kiss him. “Your face,” he whispers, and I can hear the remorse in his voice.

I try to step back, my fingers going to the wound on my cheek from when I hit the ground, but Storm has no intention of letting me go. “It will heal soon enough,” I try to put him at ease.

“None of this should have happened.” His words stab at me and I slap his hands away. I can’t believe he just said that!

“Excuse me?” I snap, hurt and embarrassment flushing hot through my body.

“I am letting you down. First, I hurt you and then I take advantage of you when you are clearly an emotional wreck.”

He regrets kissing me. I feel my already broken heart start to shatter.

“The springs are nearby. Let us go clean your wound so I can take care of it,” he says, and then walks by me. I follow him without arguing. Everything I ever wanted and needed is walking beside me, but to him I’m just a pesky charge. He is my everything … my unattainable love.

~*~

Storm~

“You will feel better once you have eaten something.” It’s the only thing I can think to say to break the silence. Luna only nods and continues to stare in front of her. How can I explain to her I
had
to stop back there? If we continued I would’ve … Awo knows what would’ve happened! I would love to make her mine, if only she was mine to begin with.