Read The Keys to the Street Online
Authors: Ruth Rendell
The Harvest Trust had recommended a discussion with one’s family before the decision to be a donor was finally taken. Alistair and her grandmother were her family, she had no other, but while her grandmother had been supportive once she’d conquered her original anxiety, from Alistair she had had nothing but anger, incredulity, rejection.
The trust’s very name had provoked shudders. He seemed to have a gift for picking out from its literature every point that might be construed as ominous.
“A harvest, they call it a harvest what they do. Doesn’t that tell you something? They’re harvesting the marrow out of your bones.”
And then, “They insure you for a quarter of a million pounds. Look, it says so here. Do you think they’d do that if it weren’t dangerous?”
“I’m young and healthy,” she had said. “They wouldn’t take me if I weren’t suitable. I just look fragile but I’m not.”
And that was before she had been asked to give the donation, when she had only put her name on the register. To give in to him, to what was after all a quite unreasonable demand, she had felt would be weak and positively wrong. She knew that she belonged in the victim type, the quiet gentle person, usually female, who yields
for the sake of peace, who placates and smiles and who, of course, brings out the worst in the bully. It was a casting, a role, she had lately been setting out to resist. But when the trust came back to her with a potential recipient and asked her to attend the center for a medical examination, she had not been able to stand up for herself.
She said nothing to Alistair. She went for the medical in her lunch hour. Of course, she still intended to tell him. Ironically, if things had been going badly for them she might have told him, she might have been made stronger by adversity, but their relationship was in a successful and happy period—why spoil it? Just the same, she meant to tell him well in advance of the harvest date. She would have to tell him, she knew that.
The bank sent him to Hong Kong. He was to be away a week and it was during that week that the donation was to be made. Donors should be met, it was advised, on leaving the hospital and accompanied home. She would have to do without that, or she would have to do without Alistair. Dorothea would meet her, Dorothea was discreet and would say nothing. Perhaps Alistair need never know. Whatever advances she had made, she had by then reverted to type, and telling herself she was a coward and a fool made no difference.
Mary relived all this as she walked through the park to the Monkey Gate, over the canal bridge and into Charlbert Street. It had been a day like this, sunny and breezy, but autumn not spring, when she went to the hospital for the harvest collection. The only risk, contrary to what Alistair suggested, was that associated with general anesthetic, the same as if undergoing any operation. She was “out” for about two hours, during which time they took a liter of marrow and blood, or five percent of the total in her body.
Coming round, she had felt at first excitement. It was done, she had done it. She had been able to do it, use her own good health to repair someone else’s ill health, to mend nature’s mistake. If she had done nothing much up till now, no good deeds, if she did none in the years to come, she had performed this one act to justify her existence.
To no one on earth would she actually have said those words; to Dorothea when she came in to visit she made light of it, saying it was nothing, a breeze. But in her heart she experienced a deep satisfaction. Even if it failed, if the transplant was useless, she would have tried, she would have done what all philosophies and all religions told us we were here to do: love our neighbor and with positive intent.
This emotional high was not long enduring. The words she had used, though silent and unspoken, now embarrassed her. She came back swiftly to practical things. Dorothea accompanied her home in a taxi, made a meal, and shared it with her, telling her to take it easy, not to come back to the museum till the following week. Mary had been tired and a little stiff but otherwise well. She ate three meals a day, went for gentle walks, took the iron pills prescribed for her, and waited for Alistair to come home.
It was something she had never been able to account for, to explain to herself, why she had not once looked at the place on her body from which the harvest had been taken. She knew precisely where it was, the cavity of the hip, the iliac crest. It would have been normal surely, natural, to have studied these punctures on the smooth pale skin, even though she had been assured they would not leave a scar. Some revulsion, if not regret—never that—must have kept her eyes from the spot while she undressed, while she took a shower. Some unwillingness to see what altruism had done to a body that was perfect, without a blemish?
Alistair saw the marks. He saw them when they made love and the bedroom was flooded with autumn sunshine, soft golden light falling on her nakedness, her whiteness and its single flaw …
• • •
The first-comers made straight for the shop where Stacey sold them calendars and postcards of Lily Langtry and Eleanora Duse, leather-bound reissues of the novels of Ada Leverson, painted fans, beaded
bags, batik, appliqué work, and very expensive mock-Fortuny Knossos scarves. Mary set to work in the hat room, mending a silk brim, reattaching black ostrich feathers. “A crab shelled in whalebone” was Aldous Huxley’s description of the Edwardian lady, and he called her plumed hat “a French funeral of the first class.” There were more than twenty such hats in this room, all huge gâteau-like confections, pearly white, rose pink, blue, yellow, black, festooned with roses, ribbons, feathers. On one wall was a
Vogue
cartoon from 1909 of a tiny woman wearing a hat as big as an umbrella on whose brim sat a rabbit gobbling up a cabbage.
When she was in here or in the corset room, Mary often thought Irene Adler’s incursions into male attire—as when she whispers “good evening” to Holmes in Baker Street—entirely understandable. The crab in whalebone could have known comfort only in bed at night, never by day in the S-shaped whalebone stays, the buckled and webbed bodices, the crustaceous layers, and those furbelowed cartwheel hats. Other pictures on the walls showed Edwardian women attempting to mount stairs, board trams, and manage their hats on windy days.
The first visitors began wandering through and Mary put her work aside. The Americans asked the most questions and there was a preponderance of Americans. She had expected a quiet slack day, as Monday usually was, failing to take into account that the tourist season was approaching its height.
“How did they handle those trailing skirts in the rain?” someone asked. It was a stock question and one she could scarcely answer.
“What about ordinary women?” was another. It was asked more and more often. “What did the poor do? The ones who couldn’t afford maids to dress them and cabs to ride in? How did they manage?”
And always, “Who was Irene Adler?”
They sold more copies of the Sherlock Holmes story
A Scandal in Bohemia
(Irene as crab in whalebone on the front cover and in jacket
and breeches on the back) than all the catalogs and brochures put together. A favorite place was the facsimile of Irene’s drawing room, as it must have been at Briony Lodge, with the secret panel by the fireplace where the compromising photograph was kept hidden, open for all to see the secret spring. Gustav Klimt had not painted her, for he was real and she was fiction, but the mock-Klimt portrait of Irene in sequins and pearls posed against a gold-leaf screen, framed in narrow gilded wood, went back to hang on the walls of many a Midwest condo. Business was too brisk at lunchtime for Mary to leave the museum. It even looked at one point during the afternoon as if admission would have to be restricted for half an hour. But the crowd dwindled as five approached, by which time the shop had run out of calendars and Knossos scarves and Stacey was on the phone to the sales rep. Mary worried a little about Charlotte Cottage. Would Bean have let himself in satisfactorily at four-fifteen, found Gushi, and by now have brought him back? Would he have secured the front door behind him?
She considered taking a taxi back, for she had had one good walk that day. But the sun was still shining and the wind had dropped, and once she had entered the park she forgot about a reluctance to walk, she forgot about Charlotte Cottage and Gushi, and turned southward across the broad open space. Strange, how seldom she had come in here at all while she lived in Willesden, and, though working at the museum, had scarcely ever crossed the canal or even set foot south of Prince Albert Road.
Taking the path that leads down to the boating lake, she noticed for the first time how open the park was, how relatively treeless in its center, a great plain of green fringed with the towers and landmarks of London, the gold dome of the mosque, the slender column of the minaret beside it, the art deco edifice of the Abbey National in Baker Street, the Post Office Tower, and, behind her, the Mappin Terraces of the zoo. There were trees on the north bank of the lake and at its shallow rim a cluster of waterfowl, pochards and mandarins and a
black swan, squabbling over the spilled slices from a cut loaf.
She crossed the Long Bridge and paused for a while to look at the heron perched on one of the island trees. It should have been possible to turn left and head for the Cumberland Gate, but there was no way through.
She was learning that this was characteristic of the park, perhaps inevitable in a design based on a circle within a circle that were not concentric. Paths seldom led where you thought they would, and it was very easy, especially in this vicinity, to take what you thought were all the right directions yet find yourself heading back for the zoo and St. John’s Wood. Through the Looking Glass was what it was like, the bit where Alice notices that the path that seems to lead straight to the garden does not and is afraid of going back through the glass into the old room. I, at any rate, shall not go back to the old room, the old life, Mary thought, and with that she came out into the Inner Circle by the Open Air Theatre.
It was a short distance from there, through the golden gates and along Chester Road, to the Broad Walk. The new fountains were playing. Flowers spilled over the rims of the lion tazzas and the Roman vases. The flowerbeds, formal rectangles that flanked the wide path, were filled with polyanthus in bloom, with pansies and yellow jonquils. All the way along, from Park Square to Chester Road, and up beyond where there were no flowers but only trees and a certain wildness, seats faced each other, most of them occupied by two or three people. But on the seat nearest to the point where the road crossed the Broad Walk a man was sitting alone.
People of his sort always did sit alone, unless another of their kind joined them. No one would choose to sit on the same seat as he. Mary, approaching along the path from the west, sought about in her mind as she had often done before, for the right word for him. Dosser? Street person? Street sleeper? Not beggar, he wasn’t begging. Not tramp, that was from her grandmother’s time. Perhaps there was no word and perhaps there should be none.
He was reading. That made him different, set him apart. He seemed oblivious to everything and everyone, concentrating on his book. The barrow that contained his possessions rested against the metal arm of the seat. From the rag tied round his neck to the boots on his feet, his clothes were well-worn denim, rumpled wool, and threadbare polyester. He wore a dark-colored quilted jerkin. His hair was dark, the thick bushy beard that covered the greater part of his face iron-gray. She thought she had seen him somewhere before without being able to remember where. It was his hands that recalled this previous sighting or meeting. They were long, narrow, beautiful hands, sun-browned but smooth, and on the left one was a gold wedding ring.
He looked up as she passed and for a moment, infinitesimal, fleeting, their eyes met. His were blue, a strong sea-blue. He lowered his eyes almost immediately to his book and turned the page in a precise controlled movement. Trying to remember where she had seen him that first time—in Baker Street? Outside Madame Tussaud’s? But she hardly ever went that way—Mary walked along the path where the gingko trees grow, the Chinese Maidenhair trees, toward the Cumberland Gate. Had he asked her for money? Had he perhaps been selling the
Big Issue?
At the sound of her key in the lock, Gushi made three sharp barks. She called his name and he came running. If he was tired from his walk he gave no sign of it. She squatted down and he jumped into her arms, nestling there and burying his chrysanthemum face in her neck and shoulder.
• • •
Mary Jago may have failed to remember where she had previously seen Roman Ashton, but he had no trouble in placing her. She was the young woman who, arriving two hours earlier than usual at the museum in Charles Lane, had come upon him waking up on the doorstep. Irene Adler, the place was called. It had a glass-covered
porch outside its front door that extended to the pavement across a small forecourt. For several nights he had slept there, dry and secluded, but he never went back after she had discovered him.
“I’m so sorry,” she had said, not wanting to step over him, also perhaps afraid. A great many people were afraid of them, himself and his kind. “I woke you up. I didn’t know anyone was sleeping here.”
It was a principle of his not to speak to the “public,” to speak only to his fellows, though that had its own problems, its own guilt. There was no reason for him to speak to people, he had no need to beg and never did, so if they addressed him he merely nodded or shrugged or gave no sign of having heard them. This delicate-looking slender girl, fair and somewhat fey-like, merited more than that. She had spoken to him as politely as if he had been a respectable householder. So he nodded, got to his feet, and rolled up his bedding in a quick, deft movement, stepping aside to let her pass.
“Sorry about that,” he said. “I’m going.”
She must have heard it as a mutter, a low growl. She was not to know those were the first words he had uttered to anyone apart from the street sleepers for a year. The first sentence to escape him since he had closed up his house and taken to the outdoors. And now he had seen her again. For a moment he thought she was going to speak to him and he wondered what reply to make, if any, whether to be as he once had been, a pleasant, courteous, easy-going sort of man, or as he now was, forbidding, grave, dour. But she had not spoken, she had not recognized him. It was just as well. Conversation with ordinary people was not for him; they spoke different languages.