The Jump (12 page)

Ellie was on Rose Lane trying to get herself together when a car pulled up ahead of her. She recognised it straight away, the silver BMW from the driveway in Inchcolm Terrace. She stared at the brake lights as the passenger-side window buzzed down, then she stepped forward and bent over to look in.

Jack McKenna.

‘Can we talk?’

Ellie looked behind her. The police station was round the corner, he must’ve been waiting for her to come out.

‘I’ve nothing to say to you,’ she said.

‘Please.’

He was leaning forward, clutching his side. She could see under his Hugo Boss T-shirt where it was thick with bandages. How was he out of hospital so soon?

Ellie felt her house key in her pocket, thought of Ben waiting at home for an explanation. She thought of Sam in the boat, Libby at school hoping beyond hope this man wouldn’t get out of hospital any time soon. Yet here he was, wheezing and grimacing in pain.

Ellie shook her head. ‘I don’t think so.’

Jack nodded at the passenger door. ‘It’s for the best, for Sam and Libby. For everyone.’

His skin was pale, dark rings under his eyes. His black hair was greying at the temples like Ben’s, but closer cut, neatly shaved round the back and sides. He looked smaller than when she’d seen him in hospital, smaller than when she’d found him on his kitchen floor.

In her pocket she pushed the house key between her fingers and made a fist, a makeshift knuckleduster. She pulled the door open and got in. She looked in his eyes for a moment, but couldn’t see anything there. She imagined sticking the knuckleduster in his face, blood spurting out. He smelt of hospitals, antiseptic and bleach, and she could smell his sweat underneath.

She pulled the door closed and put her seatbelt on.

He put the car into gear and drove to the car park at the end of the road, did a three-point turn and headed back. He turned right at the junction and for a moment she thought he was going to take Shore Road to the marina, but instead he turned along Hopetoun Road heading out of town.

He was clearly in pain, his movements slow and tentative. She couldn’t imagine him overpowering her, one quick punch to his bandaged side would double him over.

They picked up speed as they left the Ferry, the road bending towards the coast beyond the marina, flowing with the contours of the land where it met the sea.

Was that the face of a child abuser, someone who could rape his own daughter? She remembered Libby telling her what he’d done, and her fists tightened in her pockets.

They drove over a makeshift crossing, a workman in a hardhat and hi-vis jacket leaning on a STOP/GO sign. Muddy tracks to their left, the building site for the new bridge on the right. This was where the approach road was going to go, through the fields and woods, stretching out over the water.

Jack kept driving. Ellie could see Rosyth docks and the naval base across the firth. The road widened and there were thick gravel verges on either side. Jack pulled in sharply and stopped, pushed the handbrake button. Ellie tensed her muscles, ready.

Jack looked out over the water and pulled his hand down his face as if he was trying to wipe it clean. The engine was still running.

‘I saw you,’ Jack said. He was still looking out the window, away from her.

Ellie stared at him. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I saw you in my house.’ He turned to her. ‘In the kitchen, when I was lying there. You spoke to me, said something about Sam. Right?’

Ellie tried to remember exactly what she’d said.

‘You went out the patio door.’ His face was drawn, exhausted. ‘When Alison came home.’

Ellie shook her head. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

‘Come on, no lies.’ Jack looked beaten by the world, so tired.

Ellie didn’t move or speak. Jack pushed himself up in his seat a little, gave a grunt of pain.

‘I’m not supposed to speak to you,’ he said. ‘Macdonald and Wood are handling the case. I’m meant to be at home resting. By the time I got out of hospital, Alison had already talked to them about you. If she’d asked me, I would’ve told her not to.’ He shook his head. ‘You know, I could have forensics check those patio doors. But I don’t think it’s in either of our interests for that to happen, do you?’

He squinted, brushed at something on the steering wheel.

‘I’m sure we both want what’s best for Sam,’ he said. ‘And Libby.’

‘Do we?’

Jack turned and frowned. ‘I’m not quite sure how you’re involved.’

‘I’m not involved.’

‘This is such a mess.’ He sighed. ‘Let me tell you what I think. After he stabbed me, Sam left in a panic. You found him somewhere, upset, he told you what he thought he saw and what he’d done. You came to the house to see for yourself, then you left when Alison came home. You know where he is now, and you’re trying to work out what to do.’ He looked her in the eye. ‘Am I close?’

She said nothing.

‘I’m close,’ Jack said.

‘You said, “what he thought he saw”, about Sam.’

Jack lifted a hand, palm up. ‘It was all a stupid misunderstanding.’

‘Are you trying to tell me you weren’t raping your daughter?’

Jack’s eyes widened. ‘Of course not, I love Lib.’

‘What were you doing, then?’

‘She was upset about something in school. I was just comforting her. I’m allowed to hug my own daughter.’

‘So Sam got the wrong end of the stick and stabbed you.’

Jack sighed. ‘I don’t want him to get in any trouble over this.’

‘It’s you who’s in trouble,’ Ellie said. She was trying to keep her voice level.

‘It escalated out of control. I don’t know what he thought he saw, but it was totally innocent. Honestly.’

‘He said your trousers were at your ankles.’

‘He’s been very difficult recently, big mood swings, struggling with mental illness.’

‘Really.’

Jack shook his head. ‘We’ve been to see a psychologist, and he’s taking different medication, but he’s tried to overdose twice. Talks about seeing and hearing things, hallucinations, maybe that’s what happened the other day.’

Ellie remembered Sam standing on the bridge, in a trance.

‘I don’t believe you for a second,’ she said.

Jack narrowed his eyes. ‘You’ve been speaking to him. Has he seemed rational the whole time?’

Ellie thought about that. ‘Yes.’

‘I know you’re covering for him and I know why. Because of Logan.’

Ellie didn’t say anything.

‘But Sam isn’t Logan,’ Jack said. ‘He’s my son.’

Ellie shook her head. ‘You’ve been abusing Libby for years.’

Jack looked shocked. ‘Sam made that up.’

‘Libby told me, not Sam.’

Jack stared at her. ‘When did you speak to Libby?’

Ellie shook her head.

‘She’s lying,’ Jack said. ‘I don’t know why, but she’s lying. Maybe she’s covering for Sam, maybe she thinks if she says that, Sam won’t get in trouble for stabbing me. Maybe she wants to hurt me and her mum. I don’t know. She can be a very difficult girl.’

‘I don’t believe a word you say,’ Ellie said.

‘It’s the most hurtful thing a kid can do, accuse their parent of something like this. She doesn’t realise, she’s only young, but it breaks my heart. You must know how it would feel. Imagine if Logan had said that about you, or Ben.’

‘How do you know my husband’s name?’

Jack shrugged. ‘I’m a police officer.’

She pictured herself at her kitchen table, Logan coming in, sheepish look on his face, avoiding eye contact. She asks if something is wrong, he skirts around it, not wanting to tell but yes, wanting to tell, confronting something horrible, then blurting out that his dad has been doing things to him, terrible things, touching him, making him do things he didn’t like. Ellie felt her stomach flip and the muscles in her shoulders tighten.

What if it was all made up? What if Sam was struggling with medication, with mental illness, what if Libby was covering for him? What if this was an innocent man sitting next to her – imagine what she or Ben would feel like if false accusations were made against them, if Logan had written something in a suicide note that said he’d killed himself because of them, because of abuse?

No, this is what abusers do, they manipulate people. It’s all about power, being in control, and Jack didn’t like it because for once he wasn’t in control, things were spiralling away from him and he couldn’t contain them any longer.

‘I need to get some air,’ Ellie said.

She opened the door and felt a hand on her arm. Her fingers tightened around the key in her pocket.

‘Wait,’ Jack said.

Ellie looked at him. He was worried. If she was honest, he didn’t look dangerous, sweating from the pain, he looked nervous and downtrodden, an underdog.

‘You have to believe me,’ he said. ‘I’ve never done anything to Libby. I would never harm her, I swear on my mother’s grave. The same goes for Sam.’

Ellie pressed her mouth into a thin line. ‘I need to go.’

‘I just want my family back,’ Jack said. ‘Things back the way they were. You of all people must understand that.’

Ellie shook her head and looked at his hand on her sleeve. He followed her gaze then lifted his hand away, letting her go.

‘Please help me get my family back,’ Jack said. ‘That’s all I want.’

‘I have to think.’

Jack nodded like a puppy. ‘Of course.’

Ellie undid her seatbelt. ‘I’m getting out.’

Jack frowned. ‘I’ll give you a lift back.’

Ellie got out the car.

‘It’s miles back to town,’ Jack said. ‘Don’t be stupid.’

‘I want to walk.’

She shut the door. She didn’t want any more words, she needed space and time. She looked up and down the road. Several miles of nothing, scrub grass on the verge, the Forth over the other side of the road, hedges and fields behind her.

The BMW sat next to her for a long moment, the engine turning over. Then she heard revs and it swept round in a U-turn towards town. The crunch of gravel and the throb of the engine receded until there was nothing, just the gentle shush of waves lapping at the shore.

Ellie waited until the car was out of sight then began walking back to the Ferry. She pulled out her phone. It rang three times then she heard Sam’s voice.

‘Your dad’s out of hospital,’ she said.

Ellie strode fast, the Forth to her side as she cut along Society Road, past the old house and the handful of new-builds by the water. She wondered if more developments would spring up in the shadow of the new bridge, or if people would stay away, put off by traffic and noise.

She cut down the back way on to Shore Road and came to the marina from the west end. The disused lane was blocked to traffic, old concrete tank-defences placed across it, but still accessible on foot.

She emerged at the harbour still thinking of Jack. She put herself in his shoes, what would it be like to be accused of something like that by your own kid?

It came down to trust. Did she trust Jack? Why should she? But he hadn’t seemed like a man who would do something like that, he’d seemed like one of life’s losers, just like her, struggling to get by, trying to keep his family together. He was right, she could relate to that. But what about Libby and Sam, she trusted them, didn’t she? Libby had been visibly upset, in tears when she spoke about her dad. And where did Alison fit into all this – did she suspect and cover up for her husband, or was she really in the dark? Maybe there was nothing to know, maybe Jack was telling the truth.

She walked past the warehouse where Sam had decamped, turned towards the pier. The wind was up, the rigging clattering away on the boats rocking in their berths. She took the stairs three at a time down to the pontoon then along to the Porpoise.

She scanned the horizon as she clambered on board, but there was no one in sight, the place shutting down for the day.

She went below deck. Sam and Libby were sitting either side of the table. Strewn across the surface were a half-finished loaf of bread, empty crisp packets and chocolate wrappers, juice bottles. Ellie realised that she yearned for Sam, her arms ached to hold him. Her heart swelled at the sight of him, still wearing Logan’s clothes, flicking his hair out of his face. Libby was slouched on the opposite bench, shoving the last of a crisp sandwich into her mouth. Ellie was overwhelmed with something, the ordinariness of this, kids being kids, the three of them on a boat, snacking and chatting, normal, boring family shit. Except it wasn’t her family.

Sam stood up. ‘What are we going to do?’

Ellie put a hand on his forearm.

‘I spoke to your dad,’ she said.

She’d only given Sam the thinnest detail on the phone, just enough for him to warn Libby to get out the house.

‘How is he?’ Sam said.

He said it blankly, and Ellie couldn’t work out what he meant, was he worried about him, or sorry he wasn’t dead?

‘He’s in pain, but OK I think.’

‘I wish you’d killed him,’ Libby said.

Ellie looked at her. She was so confident about life, no concept of mortality yet.

‘And what if he had?’ Ellie said. ‘Then your brother would be a murderer. Is that what you want?’

Libby lowered her head.

‘Take it easy,’ Sam said, putting a hand out. ‘How did he get out of hospital so quick?’

Ellie shook her head. ‘I don’t know, maybe he checked himself out. He’s heavily bandaged around the stomach.’

A brief look passed between her and Sam, acknowledging his role in that.

‘He seemed exhausted,’ Ellie said. ‘I don’t think he should be out of hospital.’

‘How did he find you?’ Libby said.

‘He met me when I came out of the police station.’

Sam frowned. ‘Why were you in the police station?’

‘They asked me in for questioning. Just routine.’

‘Routine?’

Ellie sighed. ‘I went to see your mum.’

‘What did you say to her?’

Ellie showed her palms. ‘I wanted to speak to her about what’s been going on, about Libby and your dad.’

Libby’s face fell. ‘Oh my God, you didn’t tell her, did you?’

‘I thought that’s what you wanted?’ Ellie said.

Libby shifted on her seat, agitated. ‘Things are going to be so much worse now.’

‘Why?’

‘They just are,’ Libby said. ‘I can’t go back there.’

Sam looked at her. ‘You don’t have to go back there, don’t worry.’ He turned to Ellie. ‘She can stay here, right?’

Ellie rubbed at her forehead. ‘For tonight. But tomorrow we have to sort this out.’

‘How do you mean?’ said Sam.

Ellie paused for a moment. ‘Libby, you have to go to the police, tell them what your dad’s been doing to you.’

‘No.’

‘You have to,’ Ellie said. ‘It’s the only way this can be finished.’

‘I can’t.’

‘Why not?’

Libby rubbed at her arm. ‘I told you already. He’s one of them, they won’t believe me.’

‘They will.’

‘They won’t. And then things will be a hundred times worse. They won’t do anything, and I’ll have to go back home and live there with him and Mum, and they’ll both know I told on him.’

‘My God, Libby, this isn’t about telling on people,’ Ellie said. ‘This is child abuse and rape. Your dad is a criminal.’

‘I’m not going to the police,’ Libby said.

Ellie walked over and sat next to her. ‘I’ll come with you, I’ll be there the whole time. If you don’t want to continue at any point, then we don’t have to. There’s a nice policewoman there, I met her today, PC Macdonald, I’ll insist we talk to her. It’ll be fine.’

Libby shook her head.

‘It makes sense, Lib,’ Sam said.

‘I can’t do it.’

Ellie looked at her. ‘You want it to stop, don’t you?’

Libby stared at her. ‘Of course.’

‘Well?’

Libby sighed.

Ellie put her hand on the girl’s. It was bony, cold, poor circulation.

‘I know it’s hard to talk about these things, but you have to in order to make it go away.’

Libby didn’t speak.

Ellie thought about her conversation in the car with Jack. Steadied her hand.

‘Are you absolutely sure about what he’s been doing to you?’

Sam took a step towards them. ‘What do you mean? Of course she’s sure.’

Ellie looked up. ‘I’m just asking because it’s what the police will ask.’

Libby had her head down. Ellie felt Libby’s hand move under her own.

‘Libby?’

The girl began to sniff, precursor to tears. Was she turning on the waterworks, or was this for real? She nodded her head, keeping her face down.

‘I’m sure.’

Sam spoke. ‘What did he say when you spoke to him?’

Ellie looked up. ‘He denied it completely. Said it was all a misunderstanding.’

‘What a cunt,’ Sam said. ‘A misunderstanding? He was in her room. I know what I saw.’

Libby was crying now.

‘He said he was just comforting her, giving her a hug,’ Ellie said.

Sam snorted. ‘A hug? With his trousers down?’

Ellie kept her gaze steady on Sam, kept rubbing Libby’s hand.

‘He said that you’ve had some problems, Sam.’

Sam looked around, fists tight. ‘Fuck him.’

‘Mental problems.’

Sam looked like he was going to punch a hole in the wall. ‘I knew he’d use that against me.’

‘He said you’ve been hearing voices. Hallucinating. Said you were having trouble with different pills.’

‘I know what I saw,’ Sam said. ‘Ask Libby. This is not about hallucinations or anything like that.’

‘Take it easy,’ Ellie said. ‘Remember where I first met you, where I found you. What you were like.’

Sam’s neck muscles were straining but he reined it in, took a breath before he spoke. ‘That was different, that was after. Can you blame me, after what had happened? But I know what I saw. You think I’d just go around stabbing my dad for nothing?’ He looked at his sister. ‘Tell her, Lib.’

Libby wiped her tears on the cuff of her cardie, the material pulled down over her hands.

‘I told you already what he’s been doing,’ she said. ‘When you walked me back to the house. I wasn’t lying. I promise.’

‘That’s fine. I had to ask. I have to be clear, you understand?’

Libby nodded.

Ellie put a hand on her thigh. ‘We have to go and report this, though, you realise that? Nothing will change unless we get the police involved. It doesn’t matter that your dad’s a cop. If you tell them what you told me, they’ll arrest him, I promise.’

‘What about Sam?’ Libby said, looking up.

Ellie looked too. ‘That depends.’

‘On what?’ Sam said.

‘On what Jack tells the investigating officers.’

‘You mean he hasn’t told them that it was me who stabbed him?’

Ellie shook her head. ‘I don’t think so. He said he hadn’t. And they never mentioned it when they questioned me. Obviously you being missing is suspicious, but there’s no law against leaving home and not getting in touch if you’re over sixteen. If Jack doesn’t drop you in it you could be OK.’

‘Will he drop me in it?’

Ellie thought about that. If Jack was arrested, what would he do? Fight it? Retaliate against Sam? Cut his losses and admit what he’d done? She couldn’t untangle it in her mind. He said he just wanted his family back. But he’d been raping his own daughter.

‘I don’t honestly know,’ she said. ‘I hope not.’

This was the only way forward. If Libby reported Jack, he’d surely be taken into custody, then Libby and Sam could go home. Ellie tried to imagine the atmosphere in that house, between the two of them and their mum, under the cloud of Libby’s accusations. It wouldn’t be easy, but whatever path they took now wouldn’t be easy.

Ellie put an arm around Libby, who hunched up under the touch.

‘The pair of you stay here tonight,’ she said. ‘Then first thing tomorrow I’ll come and get Libby, and we can go to the police station together. You won’t have to see your dad. We’ll talk to someone there and they’ll deal with it. OK?’

Libby nodded. ‘OK.’

Ellie stood up and walked towards the stairs. Sam walked with her.

‘Just sit tight,’ Ellie said, then turned to look at Libby. ‘Will she be OK?’

Sam nodded. ‘I’ll look after her.’

‘You’re a good brother,’ Ellie said.

She reached up and stroked his cheek, felt him flinch.

‘See you tomorrow,’ she said.