The Ironwood Collection of Alpha Moves (3 page)

She wants to feel the chemistry that attracted her to you in the first place.  But she can't
say
that.  It sucks, but the fact is,
if she has to ask you to take charge, then you aren't really "taking charge".

She
can't
give you permission to take the lead.
 
You have to just take it, on your own initiative, or it doesn't count.
 

Forget for a moment whether or not she's going to get pissed off, because if you do it right, she just might be a little pissed off at first
–
and that's not a bad thing.  You have to understand that, that's essential: you may have to piss her off a little to keep her engaged in the relationship.  Why?  Because, to paraphrase Fe
r
ris Bueller, "
you just can't respect a man who kisses your ass all the time".

And you're getting
dangerously
close, Dude, or you wouldn't be reading this.

It's not a lost cause
–
there's still some time to turn things around before someone does or says something stupid and things get fucked up.  Nobody wants that.  All you need it step up your game a bit, take command, and start remembering who the fuck you were before you star
ted being blinded by her puss—
ah, her
femininity.

That's key:
finding the masculine Dude in your soul
.  The Dude who once looked across the room, sized her up, and said, "yeah,
that's
worth hitting", and you
went for it.
 
That's
the dude she wants to see.  The dude who struts, who thinks he's hot shit. 
The dude you were before you
met her.

So show a little backbone in the future.  If you aren't having sex with her
at least
once every five days or so (that's
six times a month
, for you liberal arts majors) then she's probably not really intrigued with you the way that's ideal. 

If you aren't kissing her at least once or twice a day
–
not a bullshit peck on the cheek, but a sudden, come-from-behind, press her against the wall, and plant a good ten-second smooch with tongue and dry humping and hard nipples, then
you're doing it wrong
.   If you aren't the dude all of her girlfriends want to sleep with in a moment of drunken weakness, then
you're doing it wrong
.  If you walk across the room naked, fresh from the shower and Mr. Happy bouncing around in front of her and
she doesn't at least look up and bite her lip
. . .
you're doing it wrong.

Look, I
know
it's not all you.  You got complacent,
she
got complacent.  You both relaxed into a mutual comfort zone while you enjoyed the emerging fruits of your relationship, and . . . stuff just sort of slipped away. 

On your side, you probably aren't getting laid as much as you like, and when you do get laid it's nothing to blog anonymously about.  Hell, you might be whacking off more now than when you met her.  She's just not responding to you the way she used to, but you've just . . .
accepted
that.

And that sucks.  Because both of you want essentially the same thing, you just don't know how to go about it.  You've been told for your entire life about how you need to respect women, listen to women, treat women as equals.  And that's great, as far as it goes, but when it comes to your relationship, believe it or not,
your woman doesn't want you to treat her as an equal when it comes to certain aspects of your relationship
.  She wants you to be
strong, firm, and decisive.
She wants you to
know
what you want, and go after it --
even if she doesn't approve
.  She wants you to be the dude every chick in the room wants to bang, but the one
she's
lucky enough to be going home with.

That's a tall order, I know.  I mean, how do you go from
"I respect you too much to do that"
to
"Hell, yeah, I want a blowjob baby!"
without sounding like a complete idiot?  The fact is, it isn't easy
–
at
first.
  But either is realizing that your woman's panties don't get wet because of your decent job and neatly-trimmed yard, your willingness to watch chick flicks or buy tampons for her. 

All the things you've been doing for her so she'll like you enough to fuck you, those are
BETA
skills, and while they're important for a long term relationship . . . well,
Betas don't get much play
. 
Nice guys don't get wildly fucked by passionate women.

Consider
:
your grandfather likely had an entirely different take on how to manage his relationship than you do
–
and while the rules of the game have changed dramatically since then, the players
–
men and women
–
still desire the same basic things.  Your grandad knew how to handle himself around women back then, and it wasn't by kissing their asses.  You don't have to completely dick out -- don't get me wrong.  But here are a few things that your granddad probably would tell you that you need to change, and right now:

Don't apologize unless you are genuinely at fault, or there is a dead animal involved.
  Seriously, if she has a bad day at work, don't say "
I'm sorry you had a bad day".
  Say
"that really sucks, baby.  Why don't you tell me the high points, and then we can take steps to help you forget about it?"

When she makes an inherently unreasonable request
-- say, calling you from across the house to hand her a pair of scissors that's less than four feet away -- then
refuse to do it on general principal
.  I mean, if you don't value your time enough to get upset when she pulls some unreasonably flaky shit like that, then what's stopping her from doing that all the time. . . and loving you a little less for how willing you are to kiss her ass?   You have to respect yourself before she can respect you, and if you're kissing her ass all the time in the remote hope for pussy, then that demonstrates a lack of self-respect.

Sure, every woman wants a devoted man in her life,
but they don't want to be in a relationship with a pussy.
Being devoted means that you bring her flowers unexpectedly, you check her oil without being asked, and you'd rather take her out on Saturday night than any other girl in town . . .
not
that you wait on her hand-and-foot and make her every desire manifest.

Seriously, Dude, even if you've invested heavily in the "equality" meme, then
recognize that you two can't even be equals if you're deferring to her constantly
.  Tell her NO when she makes an unreasonable suggestion.  No elaboration, no "I'm sorry, Honey, but . . . ", just tell her
"no, that doesn't work for me."
Put yourself back into the equation of your own relationship
.  She's
not
going to give you permission to disagree with her -- that defeats the purpose.

Here's something you need to try out: be decisive.  You know what kills your chances of nookie probably more than
anything else
? 

The words, "I don't know, Honey, whatever you want to do is fine."  That's it. 

Sure, you're trying to be deferent  and considerate, putting her needs, wants and desires before yours, out of your deep and abiding respect for the dignity of her womanhood blah, blah, blah, but the simple fact of the matter is that
she wants you to take a fucking stand and tell her where you want to go
–
no equivocation, no second-guessing, no picking what you think she wants.  Just.  Pick. A. Fucking. Restaurant. 
Seriously.

And don't just hesitantly pick it -- when she asks you "so where do you want to eat tonight?" you tell her "I want Golden Corral tonight.  I'll meet you there at
7:30
.  Order me a Coke if you get there first."  Done and done. 

Don't worry about picking the "wrong" choice -- be a man and take the risk.  In fact, when it comes to your relationship it's far, far more important to be certain than it is to be right.  Really.  Trust me on this. 
Take a stand and stick by it.

What if she doesn't like it?  Tell her, "well, can you make a compelling argument for that decision?" and then shut up and let her talk.  Give her an opportunity to persuade you, instead of direct you.  Put the issue in doubt, and if she feels strongly enough about it, she'll speak up. 
She's not your mother,
and she hates feeling like your mother. 

She really wants you to be the Man, in that rugged, traditional, rugged and determined sort of way, despite what you may have heard her say to the contrary.  She wants you to be a Rock
-
Solid Authority -- but open to her suggestions.  Hell, if you really do have no opinion on the matter, pick something at random and defend it dickishly until she does persuade you.  Make her
work
for it a little.  Don't over-do it, but nothing says "dry panties" like
"I dunno, whatever you want is fine, I guess."

And that brings us to the subject of the sex . . . yes, you like that part!  I bet that got your attention!  Sex was like, one of the best things about your woman, back when you met her, remember?  You LOVED the sex.  So does she, at least theoretically.  But can you honestly say that your sex life now is as hot as it was when you first met?

I mean, just between us dudes . . . when was the last time you
really
rang her bell?  Is there a certain complacency, a certain habitual nature of how you two knock boots?  Ten minutes of foreplay, three positions, twelve and a half minutes, she cums twice, you do your thing, God that was great, snore . . .

Sound familiar?  Sound depressing?

Or does it actually sound a lot better than things
actually
are?

Let me tell you about something my father told me about: the
Penny Jar.

When a young man marries a woman, for the first year of their marriage he should quietly put a penny in a jar on his dresser for every time he and his new bride make love.  Then, after their first anniversary, he should start taking a penny out of the jar every time they have sex.

If you  have a typical Blue Pill marriage . . .
the jar never gets emptied.

("
Blue Pill
"?  That's a Manosphere expression that means "
the idealistic and mistaken way you think things work; illusion
", like in the Matrix (the good one).  "Red Pill" means "
the pragmatic way things actually work."  We use this term usually in connection with relationships and over-all male-female gender relations.
   And if someone sent you a link to this blog post, then
someone thinks you have a typical Blue Pill marriage
. 

Your Penny Jar, in other words,
will never get emptied
.)

Why?  It's pretty simple, actually -- all that bold shit you did to attract your woman and persuade her to get humpity with her in the first place?  That went away once you and she started being "serious". 

It's not entirely her fault -- the fact is, you wanted to "make her happy" and so you started doing whatever you thought she wanted you do so she would still hump you silly.  Only . . . well, all that nice stuff you did to make her feel comfortable and happy also made her . . . well, kinda bored.

God, she'd never
say
anything
–
maybe send her dude a link
via
anonymous email account, at the most
–
but she'd never want to hurt his feelings by telling him that he's not, y'know, the
Man
.  That would be awful -- even she knows that!  And maybe she's dropped a few hints you haven't picked up on, but the end result is the same . . . Dude, you
really
need to step it up.